CHAPTER 1

« May we meet again »

These words were pounding in her ears. Clarke was walking away from camp Jaha, and every step she took felt like a stab. The further she was, the stronger was the pain. She couldn't bear to look back. She couldn't. She wasn't strong enough to see her people getting in action without her. Nor was she able to bear the sight of Bellamy, especially the sadness she would have seen in his eyes. She was walking from her people, her family, and her friends. Suddenly, all those faces came to her. Raven, Octavia, Jasper, Monty, Lincoln and… her mother.

She had thought about leaving since she pressed the lever, since she killed thousands of innocent people. But it hurt all the same. The fact that she was actually walking away from all these people she fought so hard to protect was already killing her. As it should.

When she was far enough, and sure that no one could find or see her, she let herself fall down against a tree. Her feet hurt, her back was sore from anxiety and her head was dizzy from sadness. As much as she could hate it, she let herself cry. Loudly. She screamed and hit the ground, searching for a way to get rid of the pain. She was thinking about Mount Weather, her people, Finn, and… Lexa. That last thought left her angrier than she already was. The memory of her walking away, of leaving Clarke and the others to die was unbearable. And Clarke knew that she shouldn't feel so betrayed and sad: it was war, and it was not personal. But she did, and that part scared her a bit. Why was Lexa's face as haunting as Finn's?

Eventually, Clarke fell asleep against that tree. Dried tears covering her cheeks, and dirt plastered on her hands and clothes. She didn't dream, or at least she couldn't remember. It was for the better, since she knew that for now on, dreams would more likely be nightmares.

In the middle of the night, she was woken up by the sound of wood cracking and leaves being touched. She immediately stood up, feeling her back hurting like hell. The sound stopped for a second, then continued. It was definitely the sound of someone, something, trying to be discrete. Her heart was pounding loudly in her chest and she could tell her hands were shaking. She regretted not taking more ammo, since she was just carrying a loaded gun. That said gun was feeling heavy in her back pocket and she immediately got hold of it. She now felt more reassured, but not quite confident enough to go see who was there.

Anyway, after a time of patient waiting and listening, Clarke took a few step ahead to see if she could identify the source of the noise. There weren't any anymore. She was about to go back to her tree to get some more rest when a deer jumped right before her. She managed to restrain a scream and stumbled backwards, which made her fall harshly. She sighed, passing her hand over her forehead. That's when it hit her: how was she supposed to survive, without food? For as long as she had been thinking about leaving the camp, not once did she thought about how she was going to get something to eat. She glanced at her gun and immediately abandoned the idea of using it in order to hunt. The few bullets left would be precious for defense. She stared at the night sky (or what she could see of it) and, suddenly, stood right up again. She gazed at her watch and smiled. She had enough time left to go back to Mount Weather and get some supplies, since the Ark wasn't supposed to go there retrieve some before noon. She then ran in the mountain's direction, hoping she wouldn't cross the path of any wild animals, grounders or… sky people.

A few hours later, she got to mount weather without a scratch, and was able to get some food, clothes and health supplies. She then went a bit higher than the entrance, and made camp. There, she was able to see people coming without being seen, and she thought that watching her people come would probably make her feel better, even though she couldn't talk to them.

At this place, she felt safe. She even felt relieved from the heavy burden it was to be a leader, to be ready to sacrifice people's lives for their cause. She was pleased that she wouldn't have to give orders anymore, nor to gain respect or to make horrible decisions that led her friends to hate her. It was all over, and even if it had a terrible cost, it was enough for now to make her smile. Maybe leaving wasn't that bad after all. She could find a tribe who didn't know her, and start over.. No more Lexas, no more grounders to worry about. Where she was, they could never find her, not that she thought they would want to.

Ô, couldn't she more wrong about that…