This one's for Noroi, who I promised a Matt/Mello back in what, September? ...Better late then never, right?

Disclaimer: Don't own, but if I ever get the rights then you'll know because pretty much everyone will be alive and L and BB will end up having a battle for Raito.

Warnings: language, certain topics of conversation, and most of all this idea was thought of around three in the morning right before I fell asleep and was then written in 15 minutes and finished at three in the morning the next day. Also, Matt and Mello will probably appear OOC because we never really saw them relaxing together, and I'm just going to go ahead and assume a lot. Watch out for awkward silences, they seem to pop up a lot in this story.

Takes place when they're traveling somewhere. Yeah.

"I know why you like chocolate so much."

Before he had left, Mello had been lauded as one of the smartest students in a school designed solely for geniuses. He had also been known for his ability to quickly adapt to any situation, and for the violent way he usually reacted.

However, when faced with this unexpected statement, he responded with something less like a boy-prodigy and more like something that could be used to prove the whole blonde stereotype thing correct.

"Huh?"

"I know why you like chocolate so much," Matt repeated gleefully, not even looking up from whatever handheld game had his attention this week.

Mello waited for Matt to continue and tried to see if this had a point. Or if anything he had done lately could be taken as a cue to start this conversation.

Nope, all he had been doing was sitting across their hotel room unassembling and polishing his gun, chocolate bar hanging out of his mouth like it always was. Most people wouldn't try starting such an inane conversation with a person who was holding a gun and had more than a little knowledgeable in how to use it, but then again, Matt wasn't most people. He was the only one who Mello knew he intimidated but still didn't run away from him screaming like most people did. (Usually the screaming and running away happened right after they figured out he wasn't a girl… Stupid, idiotic masses.)

He was also the only one who could completely aggravate Mello like this.

"What the hell was the point of that!?" Mello snarled after a while had gone by and Matt still hadn't come forth with any explanation.

"You aren't going to ask why?"

"Why what?"

"Why you like it so much, Mello."

"Why should I ask you that!? I'm the one who eats it!"

"Yeah, but I bet you still don't know why you like it so much."

"Because it tastes good, idiot! Why else would I eat it?"

"So you want to know why it tastes so good?"

"Fine, fucker! Tell me if you want to."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Aren't you going to tell me, Matt?" Mello's voice was pitched dangerously low.

"Only if you want me to, Mello."

Mello tugged on his hair in frustration and took another bite of chocolate. "Bastard, stop playing games and tell me what the fuck you were trying to say!!!"

"Well, if you want to know so badly…"

"Matt!"

It was at this point that Mello thought it would be prudent to reassemble his gun and leap across the room to shove it straight into Matt's face. This also had the happy side-effect of blocking Matt's view.

"Noooo! I was on level 64, dammit! Mello, what was that for?"

"Shut the fuck up, Matt, and tell me what the hell you were thinking, or pixels aren't going to be the only things dying." Mello cocked the gun.

Matt eyed it for a moment and slowly raised up both hands, smiling around his cigarette.

"Okay, geez, I'll tell you. You're so impatient, Mello."

Mello jabbed Matt's forehead with the gun and felt smug over the following cry of pain.

"It's got the same chemicals in it that are released during orgasm," Matt finally said.

"…!"

"It's true! You like it so much because it's like mini-sex."

Mello blinked. He looked at Matt. He looked at the chocolate bar. He looked back at Matt and thought about pistol-whipping him.

"You're perverting my favorite food why…?"

"No, no, perverting chocolate had already been done. The point—"

"Oh my God, there was a point!?"

"—is that there are other ways to get orgasms, Mello." Matt continued talking as though Mello hadn't interrupted him.

Mello's eyebrow raised of its own accord. "What exactly are you suggesting?"

Matt shrugged, making the gun dip a little from where it was resting on his face.

"Just putting it—okay, me, out there." Matt's smile grew. "You know what they say! If you can't have red, you'll wish you were dead."

"…"

"…"

"…Did you just make that up?"

"Er, no."

"No?"

"Near did."

"…"

"Really."

"…"

"Okay, but what do you think?" Matt had gone from smiling to eyeing the gun with trepidation.

Mello paused to consider. If Matt was offering what he thought he was offering, there was one major issue they'd have to figure out.

"Matt."

"Yeah?"

"I'm not getting rid of my chocolate."

"You don't have to, just think of this like… an additional treat."

Mello shrugged. "That works."

Matt looked up at him hopefully. "So, you mean—"

Mello hadn't been known as the second smartest (fucking Near!) student at Whammy's for nothing. He knew a good opportunity when it was staring him in the face, especially when Matt- a possibly soon-to-be naked Matt- was involved.

"Fuck yes."

Mello plucked the cigarette out of Matt's mouth and replaced it with his own, ignoring Matt's squawk of surprise (and triumph?). Not as sweet as chocolate, but not bad. Not bad at all.

This has got to be the most dialogue I've ever written. Hope you all enjoyed it!