Did he feel anything, did he realize that he hurt me with that blank look in his eyes? Did he know that children needed love? That they need some type of feeling from their parents, I didn't need him to love me. I would have taken hate from him, At least he would have cared about me with a passion.. I just needed some type of feeling from him. I needed a hug ,or a glare just some type of feeling that showed me I was still important to him. I haven't had him feel for me in such a long time. The last time I felt something from him I was young. Too young to understand life, Too young to have a care in the world. Too young to have fears . I remember my mother being pregnant she offend told me I would have a little sibling. My farther would smile and lift me up in the air and spin around so fast that my head would ache. I didn't care I loved it when he did this , when he was finish with the spinning he would hug me and fall on the couch laughing his head off. My mother would giggle at us and rub her growing belly. My farther would see her and smile, I would see this and cuddle into my dads warm arms and smile myself. When it became time for my mother to give birth we were all frightened. My parents had left me in the care of their long time friend Donna who seemed to friendly for her own good. We played a few games ,ate dinner, and watched a movie before I was placed in bed. Right before I closed my eyes the phone rang. Donna answered with a simple hello , She grew silent and said the words miscarriage a lot. At the time I did not know what this word meant, but I could tell hat it was not good. I tried to think what that meant but I was unable, I feel asleep after thinking deeply. The next day was very strange, My farther was no where to be seen and my mother was crying in her room. I tried to crawl in bed with her but she just pushed me away and told me "Not now." When my farther returned around noon he didn't even look at me he just signed and went to his room, I just watched him my stomach growling. By 8-ish I was beyond hungry, I went up to my parents room ,Neither of them wanted to see me. That was the first time I felt rejected by my parents, the first time my mother pushed me away, the first day of my life. My curiosity was often pushed o hold ,I had so many questions that needed answers but no one to give them to me. I wanted to know where my little baby sibling that I was promised, I asked where the baby had gone ,my mother had stared at me with tearful eyes and dropped the book she was holding and left my room, I never found out what happened to snow parents seemed closer, but I felt like I didn't belong. My mother was looking older ,tired, rougher, and angrier. I wasn't sure why, My farther looked fine like he was still his age. Then one night I was roughly awoken by my mothers soft hands. She had tears in her eyes, she hugged me close and whispered words I was to tired to understand. She pulled away ,kissed me on the forehead and tucked me away under the soft covers. That was the last time I ever saw my I awoke my farther was in the kitchen his head buried in his arms, he was crying. When I walked up to him he looked up at me and gave me that emotionless look that became so evil for me. It was same look I would get from him for so long, every time I did something right every time I did something wrong same look. Same evil little look that tortured me. I never asked where my mother was , I didn't want to know. She didn't love me enough to stay she left me with him, she left me alone with a farther who didn't care for me at all. She freaking left me….I just gave you a little peak inside my soul. A place I never wanted anyone to go.