A.N: Hobbit-Eyes, one of my favourite authors on FF.net, has inspired me to put my hyperactivity to good use. So while I am hyper, I will write random crap. Bleuuurrrghh.

The Lord Of The Matrix

Scene: Thomas A. Anderson is sitting at his computer in his grotty little bedsitty thing, slumped on his keyboard. He is wearing oversized headphones, which appear to be playing "Help! I'm a Fish!". Microsoft Word is open, and as his head is pressing letters on the keyboard, the screen displays random things.

Screen: gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhffffffffffllllllllppppp ppppppp,,,,,,,,fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

Suddenly, the screen turns black. The words "Wake up, Neo" appear on his screen. As if by magic, his eyes flicker open. Ohhhh, those eyes.

Neo: Wha? (sees screen) Whaargh!!

Random woman who has been sleeping in his bed: Hello, Neo.

Neo: Whaargh!! What the hell did I drink last night?

Screen: The Matrix has you...

Neo: Bleurg.

Screen: Is that Help! I'm a Fish! you're listening to?...

Neo: This didn't happen...

Screen: Follow the white rabbit...

Neo: Do you have a compulsion to type three dots after each sentence?

Screen: Er, no...

Neo: Riiiight. This is random. Here I am, sitting at my computer having a conversation with it. Last time this happened, I was stoned.

Screen: Knock knock, Neo...

There is a knock on the door.

Neo: That's nice an' all, but as you seem to be watching me, can you tell me what I drank last night?

Screen: Seven Bacardi Breezers, three Tequilas, fifteen pints of Heineken and a mug of hot chocolate...

Neo: Hot chocolate?!?! Darn, there goes my waistline.

Voice outside: Are you going to open this door or what?

Neo: Who is it? Guy: It's Choi.

Neo: Choi? I don't know anyone called Choi.

Choi: Yes you do.

Neo: Okay then.

He springs over to the door, puts the chainy thing on, and peeks out. There is a weird guy who must be Choi, and some strange girl with strange hair and a strange choker on. In the background, Neo can see a load of pink- haired dudes and a pantomime horse.

Choi: So...got it?

Neo: ....?

Choi: The minidisc? That you hide in your hollow booky thing?

Neo: Ahhh.

He walks over to his bookcase and pulls out a book. The bookcase swings round to reveal a secret pathway.

Neo: Er...oops.

He swings the bookcase back round and examines his collection. Finally, he pulls out a book with the words "Top Secret Hollowed-Out Book With Minidiscs Inside". He opens it, and picks up four minidiscs.

Neo: Hmm...hey, Choi, is it "Magic Roundabout"?

Choi: No, but I'll give you an extra hundred for it.

Neo: "The Holy Grail"?

Choi: Nope...Neo, how long will this take? It's already ages over the original scripted time.

Neo: Shuddup! Is it "Choi's minidisc"?

Choi: Bingo. Two thousand bucks, then?

Neo: Cough.

Choi: Two thousand and one hundred for the Magic Roundabout minidisc.

Neo passes him the discs and sticks his hand out for the money. Choi gives it to him.

Choi: Hey, me and Dujour-

Neo splutters.

Choi: Me and Dujour-

Neo struggles to contain his laughter.

Choi: Quit it. We and the guys are headin' downtown. You need to unplug, man. Come to the club with us.

Neo: No thanks. I don't do clubs.

Choi: Yeah, man, but you do seven Bacardi Breezers, three Tequilas, fifteen pints of Heineken and a mug of hot chocolate...

Neo: Get your eyes off my computer.

Choi: So? Kommst du mit?

Neo: Again, nahh...

They turn around. Suddenly, a white rabbit comes flying at Neo, and hits him in the face.

Neo: So, where you headin'? Am I invited?

Choi: Climb aboard!

Neo mounts the pantomime horse which proceeds to take him to Club Mimosa.

A.N: You know, I do like a good review in the morning. Or evening. But I'm not going to self-insert. Ohhh no.