Title: External Pain and Suffering
Author: MelWil
Fandom: Spooks
Rating: PG
Spoilers: 5.1-ish. Please don't spoil past 5.4 in the comments.
Summary: Zaf was watching him. Adam/Zaf.
Zaf was watching him.
He could feel it as he talked to Malcolm, as he tried to stop Malcolm from falling into a hundred pieces in front of them. He could feel it as he talked of smiling at the enemies, about pretending it never really happened. He could feel it as the tension melted away.
It reminded him of the late nights.
They always reserved the late nights for drinking. They never drank too much, just enough to numb the external pain and suffering. Just enough to loosen the tongue.
It was Zaf's job to provide the liquor; Adam's to provide the location. Zaf preferred strange foreign beers, the kind that lurked in the bottom corners. They were practically undrinkable if you had any sort of taste.
Adam never advertised himself as a man of good taste.
Zaf never said more than he needed to. It was a peculiar quality, something that unnerved and reassured Adam in equal amounts. Zaf would sit on the couch, feet up, waiting for Adam to spill his guts. Waiting for Adam to say the things he never thought he would share.
He never thought he would share those feelings.
When it happened, Zaf kept a blank face, never giving a single thought or emotion away. He stuck his hands in his pockets and gave a half hearted shrug, and Adam wondered whether he had even heard the words. Then, without warning, Zaf was on his feet and walking across the room.
Zaf's hand was strong and angled, and it gripped his shoulder, pulling Adam towards him. His eyes were focused at some point above Adam's head, and Adam had a fleeting fear that Zaf was just working up the nerve to punch him. Then Zaf pulled him closer.
Adam wasn't surprised by the way Zaf kissed him.
He was surprised by the way Zaf smiled.