The warm, smokey air hits her face as she opens the door. The dimly lit, brown interior of the room reminds her of old coffeeshops in worse parts of town, back on Earth. Jazz music drips softly from a worn jukebox in the corner, some of its lights broken, but the speakers still thrumming happily.
She lets the heavy door fall closed behind her - she expected it to slam, but it shuts without a sound. For a moment, she tried to recall where she had come from, but she didn't know, and the next second it didn't matter.
'Hey there love,' the bartender smiles, while rubbing a glass with a brownish rag. 'Been a while, hm?' Her blue fingers worked the glass skillfully, before setting it away and picking up another. She stood behind a counter that was just as brown and grimy as the rest of the interior. Tall brown stools lined the bar, each of them damaged.
'I know you,' Shepard manages to say. Her eyes follow the asari's hands, before lifting to look at her face. 'Citadel,' she grounds out, breathless. The asari smiles again in response, gesturing for her to sit.
'Aethyta. Very good, Commander. Spare your breath - I know your story. Almost all of it, at least.' She pours a brown liquid into a tall glass and shoves it toward her. Shepard looks up at her with a questioning glance, a sudden streak of pain in her side stealing her voice away.
'It's on the house, don't you worry.' Aethyta laughs. When Shepard shakes her head, she catches on, and grins. 'Oh. You mean what it is. Well,' she hesitates for a moment, 'whatever you want it to be, I suppose. Let's go with ale.'
'Ale is good,' Shepard grunts. As she sets the glass to her lips, the sweet sticky scent of ale reminds her of days long gone. Easier times. When Earth was whole.
Her eyes widen as she remembers her purpose, her mission, and almost slams the glass down.
'Earth? What happened to-' her voice breaks and she starts coughing. 'What happened to the Reapers, to my crew, to-' she asks in between gasps before breaking down, her breath hacking away at her lungs. She only calms down as Aethyta's warm hand covers her own.
'Slow down, soldier.' Her face displays a empathetic smile. 'You cannot think about that anymore now. It's over.'
'The war is over?' Shepard murmurs, leaning her head on her arms as she supports herself on the counter.
'It's all over now, love.' The asari picks up another glass and starts cleaning it with the rag. For a moment, the music from the jukebox and the soft clinking of the dishes is all that can be heard.
'Crew?' Shepard asks without lifting her head, and the sound comes out as more of a whimper, muffled by her arms. Aethyta refills her glass with ale.
'They'll be here. Just you wait.'
.
The clock on the wall lets the seconds tick away. She tries to keep track of time, but every time her eyes leave the glass panel of the machine, her brain has forgotten what it said. The ale makes her mind feel foggy. Every time she tries to sit up, or even just to focus on all that had happened, all she still had to grasp, to understand, Aethyta would hush her. No doubt the ale was helping to keep her mind off of things, too.
'Tell me about, ' Shepard grunts, rubbing her aching side, 'tell me about you.'
'Me?' the asari laughs. 'Most of what I can tell you, you can find in history books. Do you really want to hear a life story that lasts nearly ninehundred years?'
'And the planning for the next hundred, yeah.'
'Well, that last part is easy.' She laughs, but there is sorrow in her eyes.
'Is it?' Shepard doesn't pick up on it, and instead empties her glass. 'How many of these were on the house?'
'For the savior of the galaxy, all of them.' Shepard just smiles and then plunges her head back on the counter. She lets out a deep sigh, notices that her sorrow is shining through, but she doesn't have the energy to care about it. She doesn't feel like being strong anymore.
'I didn't think I'd spend the aftermath of a galactical war in a tiny bar drinking free ale.'
'None of us did, I'd recon.' A third voice chimes in and lets the door slam shut behind him, and this time it does make a sound. She watches his heavy boots hit the floor as he walks towards her, but she doesn't register any sound. Aethyta greets him warmly and the wooden stool is roughly shoved backward, then he sits down, finally in Shepard's field of view. She turns her head sideways to look at him without lifting her arms.
'Jacob,' she acknowledges him. He nods and gracefully accepts his drink. 'Shepard,' he answers, 'I especially didn't expect you here. Actually, I'm surprised there's no one else here.'
'Yeah.' She agrees. Her brow furrows as her drunken thoughts start to form an opinion on this fact. 'Why wouldn't everyone be in this great bar? It has...free drinks.'
'And a jukebox,' Jacob laughs. Shepard just nods.
'Every great bar has a jukebox.'
'You said it, Commander.' He grins and takes a long gulp of his drink. Shepard thinks it looks brown like hers, but the next second it's fluorescent blue, and the next second she doesn't care anymore.
'How's the Citadel?' Aethyta asks without looking at Jacob. He just shakes his head.
'Loads of rubble. Debris came falling down. I made sure my wife got out.'
'Good, good.' Shepard nods before downing another drink. 'Can't have any more casualties, I just can't.' Aethyta throws her another one of those looks, those unreadable looks that Shepard doesn't like. Jacob looks troubled, but as he opens his mouth to speak, Aethyta pours both their glasses full again.
'Time for another drink, don't you think, mr. Taylor?'
.
The door creaks again, and limping footsteps come closer. Jacob cheers and stands up to greet the new arrival. Handshakes are exchanged and then hugs and pats on backs, followed by laughter.
'Still on your feet, huh?'
'Never getting off'a them again, Jacob! Never more. EDI's done great things to me. Except that time with the shattered pelvis.'
'Please, no more details,' Jacob laughs. He gestures for another round of drinks. Aethyta smirks, fills three glasses, and sets them on the bar. One of them spills over the rim, and she wipes the excess with the brown rag. Then she picks up some laundry from under the bar and carries it away, up the wooden stairs across the bar. Her weight on the steps makes the timber groan.
'Joker,' Shepard smiles, and she weakly stands up to shake his hand. He grabs hers firmly, and his eyes suddenly turn sad.
'I didn't expect you to be here. You know, we looked all over for you. I didn't think..'
'That I'd be in a smoky bar with Jacob? It's not what you think, Joker.' She laughs, and leans back on her stool. He notices her legs shaking and sits down next to her, gesturing for her to do the same.
'I wasn't implying anything, Commander! I just meant, ah, you know what, never mind.' He rubs the back of his neck and gulps his drink. The glass is empty when he sets it down, but a moment later it is filled again. Aethyta is nowhere to be seen. Shepard opens her mouth to ask, but Joker just shakes his head. 'Don't worry about it, Commander. There are worse things.'
'How is EDI?' she asks, repressing the urge to ask about someone else instead. It hurts to think about them, to think about what might have happened, to think why they have not yet rejoined her. They should all be toasting to the end of the war - and yet, she could not repress the feeling something terrible had happened.
'She's great. She's really found her place in society, Shepard. Wasn't surprising, I mean she's good-looking, and funny, and she's actually starting to understand organics now.'
'That's good,' Shepard sighs. She tries to smile, but exhaustion is taking its toll on her.
'You should lie down, Commander. It's been.. quite a ride.'
'Joker,' she protests, but he helps her up with a strength unlike him. She is lowered onto a faded red leather couch, which she hadn't noticed before - when did that get here? Her head was swimming, her body was aching and she sorely missed all the people she had risked her life for.
'You just sleep, Shepard. Just for a little while.' He pats her shoulder. Jacob raises his glass to her, a few metres back.
'What if I don't wake up, Jeff.' She murmurs, barely loud enough for him to hear. It wasn't really a question - she was questioning the consequences, whether he'd be alright, whether it was okay to finally let go. He just chuckled in response as she laid down and her eyes slid closed.
.
The tormented sound of the jukebox being smashed with something heavy tore her violently from her sleep and she sat up, flailing her legs and reaching for a gun she didn't carry. When her blurred vision focused and her racing heart slowed, she could make out the shapes of the people in the bar. It had gotten crowded, everywhere people were greeting and having drinks together. She saw Miranda, and Samantha awkwardly conversing with Javik, who seemed mostly disinterested. Jack was drinking with Jacob, James, Zaeed and Joker. Kasumi stalked up the stairs, not making a sound. Wrex had apparently smashed the jukebox with one of the barchairs, and was now holding the broken music machine like a trophy, while Kaidan buried his face in his hands and Grunt cheered and downed something that could only have been ryncol. Samara was conversing quietly with Tali, and she smiled politely as Kolyat joined them at the table. The bar seemed to have moved back, to make room for all the people in the bar.
'There you are,' a deep voice next to her sounds. His dual vocals are soothing and familiar and she smiled before even looking at him.
'Garrus,' she starts, but the words die before they leave her lips. There are so many things she would like to say, but none of them seem important right now. She holds his hands in hers and sighs, trying to hold in all the sorrow, all the worries, all the pain of the past three years. He strokes her hair out of her face and smiles, mandibles flaring just the slightest bit.
'You have no idea how long I have been searching for you,' he says, the sadness evitable in his voice. 'To think I'd find you here again...' he trails off, unsure of what he's trying to say.
'You're here now,' Shepard states, squeezing his hands. As she looks around, warmth and relief fills her chest. 'Almost everyone is. We all made it here, Garrus. We defeated them. '
'I never doubted you, Shepard. That is why I followed you, even here.' His forehead touches hers, and she revels in his warmth.
'I knew you would.' The look he gives her she does not understand, she sees sorrow and loneliness and pain, while all she feels is relief and happiness at their reunion.
'Garrus,' she narrows her eyes at him, 'what's wrong?'
'Am I late to the party, guys?' A clear, ringing voice comes from the door, and in steps Liara, more confident and beautiful than she has ever been.
'Fashionably so,' Tali chirps, 'but nobody expected you to be on time, anyway.' Liara laughs and hugs Tali, before lightly waving to the rest and turning to the couch. She steals a damaged chair from Jack's table and drags it over to Shepard. For a moment they just look at each other, then Liara falls into her arms.
'Oh, Shepard,' she says, 'how will we ever repay all the things the galaxy owes you? The things I owe you?' She tries to hold in a sob, but only succeeds only half. Shepard embraces her, and breathes in her scent. Liara smells like home, like cold afternoons with steaming mugs of tea, and of the piles of books that she still needed to read, and of warm baths and flowery soap and bright sunlight. She holds Liara close and finally breathes, truly breathes, now her whole family is home.
'Liara, I knew you would make it. Took you long enough.' Shepard mock-scolds her, but just releases her hold enough for her to look the asari in the eye. Liara looks back at her, so confident and so different somehow.
'Well, I spent ninehundred years making sure everyone knew what they owed you. I am glad you are still the same. It is good to see you again, Shepard.'
'Wait,' Shepard interrups her, and her fingers tense. 'Nine hundred years? What do you mean-' She looks from Liara to Garrus and back, wordlessly demanding an explanation.
'Such ruckus. Could not concentrate. Too much going on. Good to see you all. Been here a while.' Mordin came leisurely walking down the stairs, gesturing with his hands as he spoke. Behind him Legion trailed, his plates shifting in recognition. Thane halted at the top of the stairs, opting to overlook the crowd instead of mingling with them.
Shepards eyes widen and she lets go of Liara, scrambling backwards on the couch. She feels her heart racing in her throat, but breathing feels heavy, as if her lungs are filled with liquid. Her fingers twitch on their own accord and it seems like all the aches of her body are returning to her at once.
'Let me get you a drink,' Garrus says, 'I'm buying, remember?' Shepard shakes no, no, this can't be true, this can't be happening, this cannot actually be happening -
She's on her back again and now Liara hovers over her, wearing a white robe and a concerned frown.
'She's coming to,' Liara yells to somewhere and someone answers something inaudible. Shepard hears running, the gliding of wheels over a flat surface and then she feels the pain, there is so much pain.
'Hold on, Shepard', Liara says as rays of streaming white light break through the brown of the bar. The bed comes to a sudden halt and there are people everywhere, beeping machines that make her head ache so much it feels like it's going to burst. Liara sweeps out of sight and Shepard lets out a scream that so inhuman, so full of pain, she barely recognizes herself.
'You can't have died! I saved you!' she cries with a broken voice, 'I did everything, everything I could-' A needle is inserted in her arm, and seconds later the panic is gone. She feels dazed, her vision clouded, as if the ale had taken its toll on her again.
'Of course you did, Shepard,' Garrus says, next to her. He holds her hand tenderly and shields her ears from the beeping machines. 'You would never disobey an order.' Her eyes find his and she's surprised to see him like this, his face ashen, something shimmering behind his visor. As he lowers his forehead to hers, his voice is overflowing with emotion.
'And I told you to come back alive, didn't I?'