Tired Little Laughs

by thegoodmarble

When Andy Flynn gets shot, some truths are brought to light. Rating T, to be safe.

Tired Little Laughs
by: raile

Summary: When Andy Flynn gets shot, some truths are brought to light.
Disclaimer: The ones you don't know are mine, the ones you do aren't.
Rating: T, to be safe

-o0o0o0o0o-

Shit.

That is the second to the last thing that flashes through Andy's mind just as the desperate cornered asshole pulled the trigger.

It has been quite the grueling week, chasing this particular monster. They had expected a lot of things: average looking scumbag hiding in plain sight, a smooth operator who just happened to be quite talented at engaging people and trapping them in a web of his making. Someone who can fly under the radar and continue to exist among the people while committing one atrocity after another, a professional, someone who has had a lot of practice—they expected a lot of things but boy, were they a little off the mark with this one.

Well, maybe a little more than a little.

They had not expected a kid barely out of high school with deadened eyes and pale skin. He'd left enough of a gruesome trail around the streets of Los Angeles, slitting throats of young women just after snatching them right off the streets.

Most of them had been prostitutes who were not at all new to the game. They'd all been tall and knew how to handle the meanest of johns. But the kid had gotten to them and managed to take them down hard enough to slice their throats in the most vicious of attacks. The killings had been full of rage but eerie with precision. Each attack began with a snatch and grab, followed by a slide of a very sharp blade right across the throat and left each unfortunate soul with a gaping neck, drenched in blood and forever frozen in a most gruesome mask of death.

There were a lot of things they were expecting if and when they apprehended the little shit. They had expected the blade, maybe a few more sharp toys and other fun stuff belonging in the category.

But they had not expected a gun.

Idiot. Should have taken him out faster.

That was the first thing that flashed in Andy's mind when he looked into the face of the young man, if he ever still was, standing there in a corner he'd driven him to. The kid had dropped the blade during the run and he had guessed there would be another weapon hidden on him. But he really hadn't expected the gun.

A gun was damned better in a knife fight and Andy has more than proven that theory—a particular night spent in the hospital after getting sliced open by a hired killer was still a little too fresh in his mind. He knew well enough to stay away from the damned sharp things.

He had heard the footsteps behind him, the others catching up from the other routes they'd taken in the effort to run the suspect down. Too focused on the situation, he thought he heard tires screeching in the background.

There were shouts, demands from him and Sanchez who had been right behind him. Their voices mingled in loud shouts as they continued to yell instructions at the suspect and Andy raised his arm a little just as the suspect pulled the trigger.

He felt the bullet the moment it hit his vest and it hurt like a mother. It was not unlike someone shoving a steel pipe right into his chest. He barely registered it all at the same time but he could see in his mind how the rest of the freak show played out right after.

Another bullet was fired from the suspect's gun just as Sanchez double tapped him, jolting the bastard's momentum, knocking his aim sideways just as he surely aimed for a shot to the head for his second try. That bullet caught Andy on the side, right under his arm and just at the edge of his vest. It burned like hell but it did not hurt as much as the bullet that lodged itself into his chest. The second bullet may be worst and definitely more serious but it really did not hurt as much as the first.

There were more shouts, more voices, too many things Andy could not determine clearly because by then he was falling. That part was not clear but the rest that followed suddenly seemed magnified to a point that someone made sure to make time go a little slower so he was left completely aware of everything.

Andy smelled the all too familiar burnt gunpowder, the sickening thud of a body hitting the ground when the suspect fell dead, the taste of blood in his mouth, bitter and too much like iron. Those things he did not miss but none of them were ever as sharp and as painfully clear as the look of absolute horror on Sharon's face just as she stepped into his view.

It was only then he realized she'd been there. Where the hell had she come from? Goddamn, he was going to kill Provenza.

You shouldn't have seen this, he thought just as he hit the ground and even through the pain, he really wished he could get right back up if only to get that look off of her face. He'll remember that for a long time yet and it will haunt him, he was sure of it.

You should have stayed in the car. Why are you here?

He wanted to ask her that, wanted to make sure she hadn't been there when the guns were going off because that would mean she might have been behind him during the shooting. What if the little shit missed him and she was right behind him?

But that explained the screeching tires from before and Andy could throttle Provenza for joining the pursuit because no matter how he can insist the Captain had given him the command to do so, he could have still refused and stayed in place as they should have.

Coldness settled over him that had nothing to do with the bullets that had found their way to him. She can stomp around and demand she's independent and can take care of herself all she wants but Andy liked to think he's more than earned the right to worry about her. He had a bit of a problem with his Captain getting shot that had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she was also his better half.

Truthfully, Andy hoped she hadn't pulled any kind of a stunt that would have involve her in the crossfire because then he'd really get mad and he was a little too preoccupied at the moment to deal with that. God in heaven, the woman could scare him more than the idea of getting shot.

What am I going to do with you, huh? Stubborn woman, couldn't you stay in the car, just once?

So many things he'd like to say to her, so many questions but he couldn't ask her. Not yet because he heard her cry his name and the next thing he knew, she was right beside him, falling heavily on her bare knees because she had picked the wrong day to wear a dress. He tried to wince for her because he knew that must have hurt. She had such soft skin and it did not belong anywhere near the unforgiving asphalt he'd found himself sprawled out on.

Sharon was beside him, saying his name again and again, her hair magnificently red under the sun and it brushed along his face as she leaned in close to him. She immediately covered the wound with those small hands of hers, telling him it was going to be okay and he groaned in pain. It hurt when she did that and she whispered frantically how sorry she was for causing him further pain.

You really do have small hands, sweetheart.

Always the epitome of control and the master at keeping her emotions in check, he could see how absolutely distraught she was, even up close and he wished he could make that look on her face go away. He tried to touch her, but his hand felt a like it was riddled with lead and that made it a little hard to move and it took a lot of effort he didn't seem to have.

I wish we hadn't fought this morning, he thought miserably and somewhere in the background he could hear Provenza screaming at anyone, asking where the damned medics are and Sykes was somewhere in the background demanding for an ETA. Tao was somewhere in his peripheral saying something he couldn't really find the will to focus on.

He heard and felt her take a shuddering breath and she was still pressing down on his wound. Her eyes are swimming with tears and this time, he made more of an effort to try and just make the pain on her face go away. He reached up, but he barely reached her, his aim off and she hushed him gently, telling him help was on the way.

I'm sorry for the things I said. I was a cranky bastard, I'm sorry.

God, he really was and he had been even before this whole thing went downhill. It had been stupid, really and he had been in a mood. They've all been in one kind of mood or another, the whole squad on edge and frustrated over the case. Tempers tended to flare in such situations and sometimes, they ended up taking it on each other in one form or another, usually him and Provenza but he and Sharon had been alone that morning. Rusty had already gone for his classes and they had gotten a late start after a careless miss of the alarm.

It was not often he stayed the night at the condo as they were still not officially out as a couple. It was just that they'd been too tired to the point of exhaustion the night before and Chief Taylor not letting up because the media was up his ass about the killings only added to the stress.

Andy should have gone home, he knew, but he didn't want to send her home alone and had followed her in his car even as she'd told him it was not necessary. She hadn't put up much of her usual fight—as he had expected in her state and had easily crawled into her bed with the promise he would leave early the next morning.

Of course that had not gone as planned.

He had gotten missed calls from Provenza already and she was getting messages from Tao with updates. Andy had tried to hurry her along, jangling his keys in his hand while holding hers out to her. She had told him to go ahead but he had stubbornly refused and before he could help himself, he had barked out something in his irritation as he was prone to do sometimes.

Sharon was usually better at gauging his moods, more than used to his ways and used to waiting until he pulled his own head out of his ass before saying anything. She was always better at keeping her temper in check. But that morning, looking back, he realized she was tired and exhausted and stressed, no different from him at all. A part of him had already known then, even as he found himself barking at her without really thinking it through but his ire had won out then, unfortunately.

He knew she had to be getting pressure from a lot of sides, taking the brunt of the added weight from Taylor and Pope who were taking out their frustrations on her at the fact that they were being flayed by the media. Andy had had some idea even though she rarely let him in on what went on between her and her two superiors but he had his moments, he was no saint. He was angry, stressed and tired and though he usually knew better than to misdirect his anger especially on her, he hadn't been able to stop himself that morning.

When she might have either waited out or ignored his mood flares, she hadn't been able to hold back that morning either though he did not blame her for one bit for that. He had been spoiling for a fight, far too deep in a dark mood to think twice about what came out of his mouth. He'd snarked at her and she uncharacteristically snapped right back at him. Then, of course, in true Andy Flynn fashion, he retaliated with an even bigger flare and it had spun into an actual fight.

Parting to each other's cars that morning had left them cold with her barely sparing a glance in his direction. He'd gotten her so riled up she had even broken a personal rule by taking her anger out on the door of her Audi and that was saying something already. He still followed her but he damned well had been stubborn enough to let her go on her way without saying anything and she was more than alright with that at the time.

That, he could admit, was not one of his brightest moments because the next thing they knew, the case had taken on a new momentum and from there, they'd gone from one lead to the other. Everyone was working each side they could take and they never managed to find another moment together, leaving them with that fight as their last private moment together.

I'm an idiot, he thought, wishing so much that had not been his last conversation with her. He should have tried to at least talk to her in her office or something because he really should have apologized as he'd already known on the drive to work that he had subconsciously picked a fight. He'd just been too stubborn to admit it and the fight was still too fresh to concede. They hadn't meant anything by the things they said to each other and somehow, he knew she knew this as well but still, it would be better if he had just apologized properly.

It would be better, he thought miserably, if his last words to her weren't so mean, so ugly and tainted by things that really had nothing to do with her or their relationship.

Every single thing…Sharon, I didn't mean any of it.

If he could just tell her that, tell her something because he really didn't want those to be the last things he said to her if, god forbid, this was it.

Everything began to blur and Andy realized with a surge of horror it was becoming harder to breathe and it felt like he was trying to breathe around a blade shoved deeply inside him. He was scared he might lose his grip and slide into the black of unconsciousness, but Sharon's face moved closer to his and he could hear her speaking to him.

"Andy, stay with me, come on, keep your eyes open…that's it, yes, Andy, stay with me," and he wanted to do that for her so he did. She began to press some kind of colorful fabric onto his wound. He wasn't sure where that came from but he could also see there were splotches of blood onto the cream colored dress she'd put on in haste that morning. He was sorry about that too, knowing how she liked to take care of her clothes. And damn it, they were expensive.

He blinked and then knew that was a bad idea because it was getting harder to open his eyes back again. She spoke again only this time she sounded mad instead of the gentle tones she'd been using, "Lieutenant Flynn!Open your eyes! Don't you dare...!"

The use of his rank alerted him somewhat, but he also heard the sob she almost successfully concealed at the end of that order. He was sorry, so sorry for putting her through this.

Andy wanted to tell her he was sorry for yelling, for letting his temper get the better of him and taking out his frustrations on the case out on her. He wanted to tell her he loves her, wanted to tell her a lot of things but when he did try to, all he could get out was a warbled, "Shar-nnn…" before he felt like he was choking. Her name ended with a groan, and he felt something hot spill from his mouth and run down the side of his mouth.

Her face contorted into the look of terror and fear and he has never seen her quite so scared like this, not even during the darkest days of Rusty's ordeal involving Stroh. It hurt to see her like that and he wished to god he should have just pulled the trigger faster and then they wouldn't be in this mess and she wouldn't be looking so unlike herself, so petrified and shattered because of him. He had done this to her.

There was relief to be had though because she suddenly bent down, kissing him tenderly and he was surrounded by the scent of her hair, her perfume and everything that was just Sharon. He tried to inhale, tried to capture as much of her essence as he could because that was so much better than the taste of iron that was flooding his senses.

She kissed him and he thought, You're kissing me. You're not mad at me anymore. And he was very glad about that because he was sure he'd been a real ass that morning.

When she pulled back and he could see her again and her scent simply lingered, there was blood on her face and she spoke in the saddest voice he's ever heard coming from her, "Don't, Andy…please? Not like this…not like this."

Clearly talking and trying to touch her was off the table so he simply looked at her, keeping eye contact and did exactly as she asked him to, staying with her even through the noise and the yelling and the chaos that surrounded them both. He kept eye contact even until the medics came and someone—Provenza, he thought—pulled her back and out of their way. The stranger asked him things, told him things, but none of them really stuck with him because he was just too busy doing what she asked of him. It was the least he could do for what he was putting her through.

Then they started to wheel him out and she was back with him, he focused solely on her, hoping she knew as long as he kept his eyes on her, he was still there and maybe then she won't cry and those tears in her eyes will stay there and never fall.

Don't cry. Please, don't cry…just, don't.

He really hated it when she cried because she didn't do it often—she was made of sterner stuff. When Sharon did cry, he knew she would have then reached a point where not crying was simply no longer an option. He didn't want that, did not want to be the reason why she could not hold on, be the one to cause her to buckle.

But then she was gone and they loaded him into the ambulance. He tried to ask for her but they kept him down and the stranger—idiot—replaced her. He heard her talking—arguing?—with someone and the next thing he knew, the doors were closing and she wasn't there. He heard her voice, she'd been upset and that just caused the idiot tending to him to get a bug up his ass because next thing he knows there's a frantic beeping and everyone just sounds so amped up. Next thing he knew, he heard slamming sounds he thought were doors and Sharon was not there.

And that just did not help matters for Andy because breathing suddenly became the damned hardest thing to do and he wanted to try calling out to her again. She sounded so upset, what had they done to her?

Suddenly it felt like an elephant seemed to drop onto his chest out of nowhere. He could have screamed if he was able to.

"Damn—he's crashing!"

Andy saw the idiot's face and even though the man was working to save his life, he most likely will always refer to him simply as the idiot because Sharon wasn't there and she'd sounded so upset that all he wanted to do was make sure she was okay. He tried to hold on, he really did but his efforts of trying to get to her drained him faster than he could have expected.

So Andy let go and let the dark to take him into the heavy bliss of unconsciousness.

-o0o-

"...thankfully, the bullet missed the heart as it hit just outside the edge of the vest."

Sharon looked at the doctor and thought he really did not sound all that thankful so she braced herself for what else he had left to say even as Provenza and Sykes let out sighs of relief beside her.

"But," the younger man continued as she predicted he would, "the bullet passed through the side. It entered his right lung and on the way, nicked an artery. He's bleeding internally and we are concerned where the bullet is. We can't tell for sure until the bleeding stops and we can get a better look…has his next of kin been notified?"

Sharon nodded, "His daughter is on her way, but I have medical power of attorney."

Beside her she felt Louie Provenza's surprised look directed at her and she did not have to look to know his mouth would be gaping a little. She knew he had some idea of her closeness with his best friend but she also knew Andy has been quite good at keeping things between them under wraps. As much as he trusted his partner with his life, he and Sharon were well aware just how damaging it could be if it they were found out.

She had planned to go to Chief Pope earlier in the week to report her relationship with her Lieutenant but the case had come in before she could so much as schedule an appointment with his assistant. There was no way she was going to Assistant Chief Taylor about this particular development in her personal life. Sharon had discussed this with Andy in the past and he had conceded that she could do it whenever she was ready and now, she was. But timing, as it often was, was a bitch.

Andy was unwilling to let what they had go just because the rules were—according to him— complete bullshit and if it meant a little white lie now and again to his partner, okay. That was easier to live with than the possibility of having to break things off between them.

He had made peace with her need to stick to the rules. In this instance, he knew this was important, that in order for her to even consider pursuing a relationship with him, she needed to make sure they would not get hurt professionally. They had both come along too long in their lives to act like losing their careers wasn't serious. He still grumbled and teased her but he understood.

The doctor nodded towards her, "I'm going to need you to sign this. It's for the emergency surgery to stop the bleeding…anything further, we'll come out and update you."

She took the clipboard carefully, barely registering to thank the doctor as he handed her a pen. She couldn't help the hitch in her throat as she read through the form, only then seeing her blood covered hands.

Andy's blood.

Feeling sick with the realization, she suddenly felt as if there was a fist in her stomach curling tightly as it held onto her insides, twisting, gripping and ripping through everything. Sharon scrawled her name as quickly as she could, feeling a burning behind her eyes and returned them to the doctor with shaking hands, biting the inside of her cheek painfully.

She tried to cross her arms, some unconscious way of trying to protect herself from something nothing and no one could really protect her from but the blood covering her hands and forearms stopped her from doing so. Usually she would try for pockets but she didn't have any and still, the blood would have stopped her from doing that as well. So instead, she stood rigidly and clasped her hands together, her thumb brushing over skin textured by dried blood.

"I'll have someone keep you informed," he gave her a sympathetic smile and nodded at Provenza and Sykes before walking back through the doors he'd emerged from.

"Ca…Sharon," the old Lieutenant turned towards her, his heavy eyes hooded and so obviously full of questions.

She could not deal with any of them at the moment though so she raised a hand to quiet him and he mercifully granted her silent request with a slight nod. She tried to take a deep breath but there seemed to be something lodging itself heavily in her chest and even the slightest of breaths was getting to be an effort. She shook her head, trying to shake herself back into sense.

"I…I'm going to need to…uh," she made a feeble motion with her hand and looked at Provenza, "If Rusty—"

The older man nodded, "I'll take care of him."

He'd always done so, taking his share whenever it came to the young man who had become another child for her and just maybe, for him as well, "And I already spoke with Nicole but if she arrives while I—"

Calling Andy's daughter by her name in such a familiar manner may have raised more questions but she could hardly care at that moment. If anything, she was sure the nature of her relationship with Andy was more than obvious already by this point. Pretending she was not privy to his personal life would just both be futile and foolish.

"I'll take care of it, Captain," he nodded, unusually voice soft but gruff. He gestured towards her general direction, "Go…wash up."

With a strained nod, she turned away from the two members of her team and headed down to the washroom. They'd been in this particular hospital enough times for her to know where it is without trouble and she slipped through the door with a thankful sigh to find it empty.

She was immediately confronted by the sight of herself upon the mirrors running along the wall over the sinks. Her hair had that ruffled look about it but stayed tamed for the most part. But that was the most positive that could be said for how she looked then. She looked like someone who'd just gotten caught in a particularly nasty brawl. Her hands were covered in blood all the way up to her forearms and elbows. She had shed her blazer in the car in the midst of the pursuit to put her vest on and left her with only the feminine cap sleeves from her dress.

And even though she had her vest intact when she hurried to Andy's side, her dress had not escaped getting caught in the process. There were swaths of blood here and there from where her vest ended down to her lap and there were brownish red spots along the neckline. There was a large smear of blood on her chin and her cheek, reminding her of that kiss she'd given Andy as he tried to say her name.

From there, everything seemed to blur together and she lost a little of her awareness. She did not even notice the door to the washroom open and close nor did she realize she was no longer alone until she felt a hand on her elbow, the touch light but firm.

She didn't jump but she was surprised to find Amy Sykes standing next to her with a comforting expression on her face. It looked like she might have been trying to get her attention before attempting to touch her but she could not be sure.

"Captain."

"Amy…" she sighed, stepping out and away from the younger woman and moving towards the sink, "I just need to…uh, I need a moment."

She nodded, taking one careful step back, "Yes, ma'am."

"Really, Detective," her voice sounded rough like she'd been screaming for a week, "I'm fine. Please…it's alright."

"I know, ma'am but if it's all the same," she shrugged and leaned against the sink with her back to the mirrors, relaxed though something in her posture told she was not moving from that particular spot. If she doubted Sharon's statement in any way, it did not show. The detective had a hell of a poker face.

Sharon can't decide if Sykes was there because Provenza told her to follow or if she went there on her own. It could go either way. This was her team, after all.

And if Sykes was at all curious as to what exactly happened just outside with the doctor, she did not push her for it. The younger woman has come a long way, so different from the smart yet bumbling eager young spitfire she'd been back when they'd both first joined the division. Sharon was grateful for the silent and restrained support.

She pressed more than what was usually necessary for the liquid soap dispenser against the wall and turned the knob on the sink. Water ran and sluiced, the soap lathering quickly and soon her hands were covered in sickly thick light shade of brick red. She washed and scrubbed vigorously, rubbing her fingers against her hands, nails catching here and there. She rinsed and washed again, punching for more soap and rubbed her fingers and her palms over her forearms, rubbing and washing and rinsing over and over until the water swirling down the drain turned from light brick red to soapy pink and finally to white bubbles.

Again and again she scrubbed, trying hard to remind herself she had to get clean and even though it was his blood she was letting down the drain, it was what needed to be done. She bit inside of her cheek again, focusing on her skin and not on the drain of the sink. Lather, rinse, repeat and avoid looking at the sink.

Washing was somewhat of a success save for the little hints of blood that were harder to remove from her cuticles. Her nail polish was a soft gentle pearl white it showed the stains easily. She would need to brush those but there was none to be had at the moment so she settled for letting it go for now and deciding not to look at that as well.

She really couldn't just keep staying in the washroom anyway, not when she needed to be out there to make sure she was there for the update on Andy. Not to mention the fact that Nicole—

Sharon's eyes slid shut, unable to unhear the young woman's voice from the other end of that dreadful call she had to make. She'd tried to calm her down but really, how to soften a blow when telling a daughter her father had been shot? Sharon had tried to be careful, had made sure her voice would not betray her but Nicole was too aware of what lives people in their line of work led. Andy's daughter had not missed a beat and while she was distraught by the news, she did not hesitate to say she would be there as soon as she could, barreling out of her home even as she spoke with Sharon.

It was an awful call to make and she hoped she wouldn't have to be the bearer of even worst news later. She hoped someone was listening to that particular plea.

There had been no way for Sharon to contact her brother but Nicole had promised to take care of it. So far, she had yet to meet Andy's son. He was still in the process of rebuilding their relationship and while he was fine with letting his father back into his life, he hadn't expressed any hurried need to meet anyone else who may be in his life at the moment. And Sharon was okay with that as long as Andy was reconnecting with his son.

Looking up from her hands, her eyes immediately zeroed in on small stack of brown paper towels that Sykes had dutifully taken from the dispenser for her. She gave her a quiet thanks and dried her hands, rubbing at her nails before moving to her forearms. One glance from the mirror reminded her of the blood on her face and Sharon allowed the towels to get wet under the faucet before rubbing at the blood on her face. She kept a mind to be kinder to her skin there and restrained herself from giving it the same treatment as she'd given her hands.

Once sure she would not be such a garish sight for Nicole and everyone else who were coming—she had no doubt her division was fighting to get there as soon as they were allowed to—she turned to Sykes who had kept silent up to that point. She cleared her throat lowly before speaking, making sure the thoughts that were far too muddled in her brain did not affect her voice.

"Are…have you been in contact with the others?"

She has no doubt she has but something needed to be said and that seemed the safest thing.

"Yes, Captain," Sykes nodded, "Julio was already with FID when I left. Mike stayed back to secure the scene and said he'll be here as soon as things are wrapped up. Buzz went to make sure Rusty's been informed just in case this gets out to the media."

She nodded, "Also…Andy's family is mostly in New York but he has a sister here in the West Coast, but I don't have her number and could you…?" She bit the inside of her cheek, "I'd like to make sure his family is properly informed…"

There were times she'd been around while Andy spoke to his mother but she'd yet to meet the woman. They were all the way back on the East Coast and they had not reached that part of their relationship yet. Jointly, they both decide it would be better to straighten out things at work before anything else.

"We'll take care of it," Sykes nodded.

Unable to figure out just what she wanted to do with the paper towel stained with water and blood, Sharon simply held on to it. She glanced at the receptacle in the corner but did not even consider throwing it away. She couldn't, for some reason. And if Sykes noticed the Captain's conflict regarding the piece of dirty rag, she didn't say so.

With a breath, Sharon pushed herself towards the door leading out of the bathroom and headed out without a backward glance, unsure if she was ready to face what was to come. Steeling herself, she pushed on, as was expected of her, and forced one foot in front of the other despite the urge to just simply curl up and pretend none of this was happening. The urge to just run was there but she knew she could not do that, not while Andy was fighting for his life.

And inside the hollowness that suddenly pervaded her soul, Sharon silently prayed for grace.

She hoped to God someone was listening.

-o0o-

Twenty minutes after she emerged from the washroom with Sykes, the rest of the team filed through the door save for Buzz and surprisingly with Sanchez whom, from what Sharon could gather, got a reprieve of sorts from Force Investigations Division for the moment. They still had their 72-hour cycle for the report but gave Sanchez some time to get to the hospital after his statement before they would require to speak to them again and told him they would occupy the time for now to close the scene instead.

Sharon remembered doing something similar for the former head of Major Crimes but that had been a while back and she was sure not many people knew about it. She was sure Chief Johnson had kept that under wraps somehow.

It was the first time any of them had ever been aware of getting such a pass and Sanchez had asked Sharon quietly if she'd spoken with her former division about it. She merely answered no and explained she knew better than to influence such matters no matter what ties she may still have there. Sanchez nodded and said quietly it was a mystery, the sudden gesture of kindness but decided it was best not to question it.

Sharon nodded and did not bother reminding him she'd come from that division and had, in fact, been the head. In an environment where they were hated wherever they went for simply doing their jobs, forming tight bonds had been inevitable. Her people there had been good people, great workers and wonderful to be around, no matter their job description. But it was an old argument still and she simply did not have the energy for it. Let FID decide what they want to do as long as things were accomplished properly. Sharon was curious too at the difference in procedural process but she would not dwell on it.

Ten minutes after the team's arrival, the doors burst open and a now familiar lithe young woman with eyes that were unmistakably her father's came through. Her dark hair was tied back by a clip, strands falling here and there but not in a way that would seem messy. She was well put together in a light sweater of the softest of pink with jeans and a pair of sneakers, bag hanging on her forearm and looking all sorts of distraught.

"Nicole…" she breathed out the young woman's name as she stood from the chair Provenza had all but commanded her to take and shook off the surprised looks she got from the rest of the team.

The young woman whirled around in place with tears in her father's soft brown eyes, "Sharon!"

If the team was surprised by the familiarity, she could only imagine what they thought when the lieutenant's daughter launched herself right at their Captain. Slender arms wrapped around Sharon and held on tight as the young woman clung to her.

"Oh, god, oh, god…" Nicole wiped furiously at her eyes as she pulled back though she held on to her hand tightly, "Where's my dad? Please, tell me he's not—" Her eyes widened as she took in the state of Sharon's clothes, "Oh, god, please…no, god, no."

"Oh, Nicole…honey, no, no," Sharon shook her head, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder and squeezed the hand that held on to hers, "No, honey, he's still in surgery. He was shot but right now the doctors are trying to stop the bleeding."

"But-but wasn't he wearing his vest? I don't—how could this happen?"

"The vest did its job with the first one but the second nicked just at the edge of his vest—"

"Twice?" Nicole choked, a hand over her mouth, "He was shot twice? Oh, god…"

"I know, honey. Sit down, come on," Sharon nodded and led her towards the chairs, the team giving them the privacy they needed though they shared looks with each other, most of them turning towards Provenza who simply shrugged and moved a little further away.

Nicole listened intently as Sharon explained what she could to her, swiping at the tears that would not stop and holding on to her hand tightly. She kept silent until the Sharon was finished, only then allowing herself to fall into the comforting arms the older woman offered without hesitation. All of this, the team watched some distance away, one question after another coming at each other with every moment that passed between the women.

They'd had their hunches, sure but seeing the level of comfort and familiarity all but confirmed their suspicions. It wasn't an issue, of course, in fact, it was good to know that the Captain and the Lieutenant were doing well together. Because if Nicole was looking to the woman for comfort and information on her father, it was apparent that they were doing well enough to have their families know about them even if the team had been kept in the dark.

If only they hadn't had to find out this way.

But then again, that's what made the situation more dire than it was already, wasn't it? It was hard enough to have one of their own in such peril, it just made it all the more harder to contemplate just how this was affecting someone who was clearly simply more to the person who'd been gravely injured.

Standing close in a respectful but protective distance, they watched in a silence as the two women drew comfort from each other, hearts going out to what they were now officially thinking as the family of Lt. Andrew Flynn. Because that's what Nicole and Sharon were now, right? It may not say so on paper yet but the way they were grieving now for the fallen officer obviously spoke volumes.

They were his family now.

-o0o-

"My dad will be absolutely mortified about this later…"

Everyone smiled at Nicole as she wiped gently under her eyes, sitting next to Sharon. She had moved on to discussing how much her father was going to react to this particular incident. They all knew Andy well and it was expected he would be bitching about the little punk that got him for a while. Nicole kept close to Sharon but was friendly enough to engage with the others, obviously having inherited her father's ability to ease any situation with humor and charm.

"I can just imagine how much—"

"That idiot! I bet this was all his fault!"

Everyone looked up practically in sync as the voice carried through the doors and a woman walked in talking to her cellphone. Dirty blonde and dressed like a country club dweller in a yellow blouse, designer scarf around her neck and matching cream colored slacks and low heels, she strode into the waiting area without a care in the world, voice loud and carrying, taking no notice of anyone as she barreled along.

Provenza groaned and Sykes, Sanchez and Tao turned to him but the older man merely glared at the woman and shook his head.

"Mom!" Nicole sat up and immediately met her mother, "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Your brother called me!" the former Mrs. Andrew Flynn answered with a slight scold in her voice, shoving her phone into her purse. "He told me you were sprouting some wild story that your father has been shot. Of course he called to check if it was true and what do I know? What has your brilliant father done now?"

"Mom, please, daddy was shot and—"

"Of course he was," she cut her daughter off easily, "leave it to that man to know how to duck child support but not one stupid bullet."

Provenza moved towards the woman, "Elaine."

"You," she said with practically her nose in the air at the old lieutenant, "Of course."

"Look, you can be here for your daughter but I will not have you talk about—"

"I've only said the truest of things, detective," she all but sneered, "Why, afraid people will know what a bast—"

"Mrs. Harris," a smooth voice cut through her tirade, "Thank you for coming."

"Oh, you as well," Elaine Harris' nose scrunched visibly as her eyes took in Sharon Raydor as she emerged from the group, standing beside Nicole. "Shirley, right?"

"Captain Sharon Raydor," Sanchez spoke up, "Ma'am."

The woman looked visibly upfronted as she turned to Sanchez who now took to the Captain's other side, "That's Mrs. Harris to you."

"Of course, ma'am," he said and he suppressed the urge to grin at the sour look on the woman's face. She looked like he'd shoved a lemon in her mouth.

"I'd like it be known that Flynn never once ducked either child support or alimonies," Provenza declared, "And you do well to refer to the Captain either by her title or her name, Elaine. And don't pretend you don't know."

"Oh, please, how am I to remember such—"

"Mom, please."

The woman stopped, pursing her lips slightly, "Your father is in surgery, I assume?"

"Yes," Nicole nodded, "I left the boys with their grandparents."

"Of course I know that, how do you think I found you?"

Provenza muttered something in the background but no one seemed to take notice except Sharon and she was sure he said something along the lines of, "Satanic powers…"

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Nicole!" the woman scolded, "You could have stayed with your children and wait there for whatever news they have on that man. Please! The dramatics. Those boys need you and you do well to be there for them. No use following your father's footsteps by abandoning your children."

"Mom!"

"Elaine!"

Nicole and Provenza's voices were in perfect sync when admonishing the irate woman who could only scowl and say, "What?" as if absolutely clueless as to what would prompt such a reaction.

"Excuse me? Family of Lt. Andrew Flynn?"

They all turned to see a doctor standing there with a tablet. This time it was a woman and she was dressed in scrubs and looked as if she just emerged from the OR, "Family of Andrew Flynn?"

"Yes," Sharon spoke up, "We are from his division and this is his daughter, Nicole. How is he?"

Nobody failed to notice how the usually formal Captain didn't bother to introduce the ex-wife which she obviously did as well as she shot daggers at her from her daughter's side. Not that the Captain noticed, too focused on the matter at hand.

"He's in critical condition," the doctor answered and showed them a tablet where there was a diagram of the male human body on display. She trailed her finger across the body and a line appeared where her finger passed, "As you were informed earlier, the bullet entered under the armpit and nicked a lung on the way in. We've stopped the bleeding and were able to further diagnose and now," she moved her finger further through the body, to the upper chest just below the neck, "We've discovered that the bullet came to rest there. The bullet has lodged itself where an artery from the heart meets with a vertebral artery,"

"Well, are you going to take it out?" Elaine snapped.

"No, not until we get permission from the family," the doctor replied, "If we go in and remove the bullet, there is a chance the vertebral artery could be affected. If that happens, he could bleed out or suffer a stroke and be incapacitated in the process."

Nicole's hand flew to her mouth while Sharon's eyes widened for a moment, her mouth going dry and her face paling. She tried to speak but no words could come out.

"What if you don't take it out, leave it there?" Provenza asked, hopeful.

"It's hard to say," the doctor said honestly, "It could stay there for the rest of his life or…he could be fine for a while but then if the bullet gets dislodged somehow it could be the same. The bullet can travel into an artery and cause a bleed out or a stroke."

There were different reactions all around, ranging from different levels of horror and sadness. Sharon focused on the doctor though. She looked genuinely sorry and she knew this was a tough call to make. She cannot tell personality-wise who she may be but behavior alone suggested she was self-assured and knows what she's doing. Her face was kind but her body language neutral.

"If…" Sharon started, swallowing harshly before continuing, "If it was your…your family. What would you do?"

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Elaine squawks, "Who do you think you are? You have no right to be asking those questions just because you're fu—"

"Mom!"

The doctor looked confused for a moment, glancing at the tablet in her hand, swiping once before looking back up, "I'm sorry, who is Sharon Raydor here?"

"I am," she answered then turned to Elaine, "I have the right because I am listed as Andy's legal medical power attorney."

"Well, that is just ridiculous, why would he sign you when Nicole is right here?"

"Mom," Nicole cut in before Sharon could answer, "Dad and Sharon talked to me about it. He listed her because they they're together and they work together too. She's able to reach him faster than I usually can. It makes sense. I gave them permission."

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," Elaine glared at the Captain, "Why you, of all people, I will never know."

"My sentiments exactly," Sharon said dryly.

"Why trust his health, his life to you? You are nothing but—"

Captain Sharon Raydor, every inch the same dreaded Wicked Witch who led the Force Investigation Division and Professional Standards Bureau of the Los Angeles Police Department, stood toe to toe against Elaine Harris and gave her the blandest of looks as if she was not worth her time or efforts. Most people in the department would refer to that particular stance to be pure Darth Raydor.

"Mrs. Harris," her voice was low and measured, "I speak for my team when I say this is a family matter. As it stands, Nicole and this team are the only ones that can be included in this particular claim. You divorced Andy more than a decade ago and the only family you have here, technically, is your daughter. We are permitting you to stay for your daughter's sake despite what your presence may mean to others in this group."

Elaine's face flushed and the doctor chose that moment to step back, "This is obviously a private matter. I will leave you all to settle this and talk it out. I'll be back once you come to an understanding as to how you'd like to proceed. Twenty-minutes."

Indignant and eyes bulging, Elaine was about to speak but her daughter intercepted her gently, turning imploring eyes at Sharon, "Please…I know he trusts you to decide… but Sharon, I am asking you right now if you could just…just make a decision that you think is right and not because…" she glanced at her mother, "Just…think of my dad, Sharon, please?"

"You know I will," she told the girl softly, pressing a hand to her cheek for a moment before turning towards her team, "Mike?"

Surprised to be called out, the lieutenant straightened up, "Yes, Captain?"

"What can you say about what the doctor just said?" she turned her eyes on him, "Do you know what we're working with here?"

"In English, preferably," Provenza muttered.

Tao nodded, "Well, there are two vertebral arteries that ascend the body. Those arteries travel deep to the transverse process and includes the pathway that travels to the cervical vertebrae. Those arteries travel all the way up to the skull and connects with the basilar artery at the base of the medulla oblongata."

"And what happens when one of them is nicked or damaged?"

Tao, who earlier was quite in his element almost enthusiastically explaining the matter, deflated visibly, "Rapid blood loss…stroke that may lead to brain damage…or death."

Sharon looked at Provenza, "If it stays in…he'll be on permanent disability."

Provenza nodded, his face drawn, "Can't risk him going into the field."

"But he would be alive," she said, tilting her head slightly to the side.

The older man shook his head, "For how long?"

"And if something happens and the bullet moves…" her body curled a little forward and she crossed her arms across her chest, "I can't see Andy walking on egg shells, too afraid to move…" She closed her eyes briefly and opened them again, "And even if he does retire or…if he agrees to live with it but the bullet moves anyway and he's too far from medical assistance…?" She looked at Nicole then at Provenza, "What do you think?"

"I don't know," Nicole almost looked despondent with her answer, "I don't know…"

She looked at Andy's partner, "Louie?"

"It's a hard decision…too tough to call," he shook his head, "But he trusted you to make this decision, trusted you enough to know what to do for him. Whatever you decide…" he took a deep breath that came out as a heavy sigh, "I'll support it."

That was a hell of a lot more than she ever expected from him in terms of his approval of her relationship with his best friend.

"And I will too," Nicole held her hand, "Daddy trusts you, Sharon…so will I."

"But no way in hell I would."

Everyone turned to Elaine who was glaring at Sharon with such intensity, it hid no doubt as to how she may feel about her, "You don't even have the right! You shouldn't!"

"You're wrong," Sharon shook her head, "I do have a right. More so than you can ever actually lay claim to, Elaine, because whether you like it or not, I am in Andy's life…which is more than you can say at this point."

She's always been professional, always had a way of dealing with people, even the difficult ones. But she was not doing this today. She was sick from her heart and even more so in her soul and she was tired. She can choose not to deal with Elaine Harris right now and just focus on what was most important right at that moment. And it was Andy's life. She had to think of Andy.

"Let me reiterate this, I know you are here for Nicole, but that is where it ends," Sharon continued, "You can be here for your daughter but decisions pertaining to Andy…that right belongs to Nicole, myself and our division. You lost the right to Andy a long time ago, Elaine, when you divorced him and kept his children away from him."

A beat of silence and then it was suddenly broken by the sound flesh hitting flesh, Elaine's hand snapping like a whip against her cheek that immediately mobilized everyone in the room.

"Mom!" Nicole's horrified gasp was heard just as Sykes took the lead in moving between the two women. She did not touch the ex-wife but moved in front of her aggressively enough to make her a couple of steps back while Sanchez stood in front of their Captain with Tao flanking him, both men effectively blocking her from view as if they expected the middle aged woman in low heels to take them on to get to their her.

Provenza sputtered at his partner's ex-wife, "Are you out of your mind!"

Sharon stood rigid then touched both men on the shoulder to move through them. Tao followed but it was Sanchez who hesitated for a moment, keeping dark eyes at the other woman and only backed down once he got a quiet but firm verbal order. She did not make a motion to touch her face even though she felt it burning with the sting of the slap and she did not back down or show any sign she was affected by the assault at all. After all, she was a cop and she'd been hit worse. She'd be damned if she let that vitriol-filled woman get the best of her when she hadn't let men twice her size come close.

"Mom, god!" Nicole was suitably even more distraught now, holding her mother's forearm and moving her away from Sykes, "Come on, please…you shouldn't have done that."

"She—"

"No," Nicole shook her head. "No…Mom, you have to go. Please. Have Chris take you home…just, no. You can't be here, okay? Please…"

"I can't believe you," Elaine looked like she had been slapped. "Nicole…"

"Please. I'll call you later, okay? I'll be okay here…just go," the young woman shook her head, looking away for a moment and crossing her arms protectively across her chest.

"I'm not going," she quaked, "I am not leaving you here."

Nicole turned to Sharon, "I'm so sorry for-for—"

"It's alright," she softened her eyes, "It's okay, Nicole."

"Wh-what—!" Elaine sputtered but both women ignored her.

Nicole nodded a little, "I'll just see her out. Please…I'll be right back."

She did not give her mother another chance to speak or even look at Sharon, holding on to her mother and leading her gently but firmly out of the waiting room. They all listened as the former Mrs. Flynn continued to squawk, her voice indignant and furious, hissing at her daughter who in turn replied to her in low voices. As they walked, Sykes trailed behind, not needing a cue from anyone to make sure the woman indeed left the building.

Waiting until it was well and truly over, Sharon only let herself be rid of the tension that draped over her like a heavy mantel until she was sure Elaine Harris was gone. The moment the doors swung closed and stayed closed, she deflated, backing away from the spot where she stood rigid until she felt the edge of the chairs against the back of her legs.

She sank down, suddenly drained of her energy and the rest of her men followed. Provenza stayed standing, motioning towards Tao who took a seat beside the Captain while Sanchez stayed on the spot, eyeing the doors darkly as if he expected them to swing open with the woman striding through again for another go.

"Captain, if I could…" Tao motioned towards her face.

"Really, Lieutenant," she waved her hand in the air, "She didn't hit me that hard."

"The woman can pack a wallop," Provenza rumbled, "And we heard that. Just let the man take a look." He raised a finger, "Or I call a nurse over here. Take your pick."

Sharon suppressed a sigh and nodded in silent consent to Tao who was careful enough to approach her, making sure that she was indeed uninjured from the assault.

"We could have arrested her, you know," Provenza muttered, "Assaulting a police officer. It should cheer Flynn up when he wakes up…"

She smiled a little, tilting her head to the side as her lieutenant quietly instructed and fought the urge to protest again and instead focused her exchange with the old curmudgeon, "Oh, what a lovely thought…"

"Alright, Captain," Tao smiled at her, moving back a little.

"Well, doc?" she asked with a wry smile.

He grinned, "Good news. I think you'll live."

Sharon sighed, "Yippee."

"Alright, now that we've established that the Captain is indeed going to live…" Provenza gave Sharon a look, "Anything else you'd like to share with the class, hmm?"

"Now, lieutenant…" she stopped, shaking her head slightly, "…Louie. We wanted to tell you, we did, but you have to understand we're in a difficult position."

"Difficult position as in…?" he paused, "You're together?"

"Well…yes," Sharon nodded wearily, looking down at her hands. She was getting tired of looking up at the man but she couldn't seem to muster much strength to get up then, "Believe me, Andy wanted to tell you but if Chief Taylor found out before I properly report it…we couldn't risk it. Not with me in my position and Andy being, well, Andy…believe me, we tried not to let it happen but after Weller and Andy insisted on staying with me at the condo…"

Provenza's eyes widened, "Wait, it started when Flynn was—"

"No, no," she shook her head, brushing weakly at the air, "No…but by then there was something there already but we just ignored it, pretended it wasn't and we couldn't…feel it."

Andy's best friend gave her a disbelieving look and what could have been a snort he tried to hide, rolling his eyes a little but she ignored it.

"It wasn't until after Stroh's trial and Rusty's graduation that Andy and I…"

Sanchez and Tao nodded while Provenza scowled a little, waving his hand, "Yeah, I get the picture."

Thinking back, he remembered Andy had stayed particularly close to Sharon that day and she'd been glowing with pride and happiness but she was also a little emotional seeing her boy heading off to college as well. If anyone in the team noticed the closeness, no one made a comment on it though it had been there. Besides, by then they'd gotten so used to seeing them together that way nobody noticed it anymore.

Unable to do anything but nod, Sharon went on, "Chief Taylor has alluded to his own…theories but has so far found anything of worth to actually use against me…us. I'm supposed to report any changes in relationship, especially if it is concerning a subordinate. We were planning on it, this week actually, to Chief Pope but too late now, I suppose."

The three detectives shared the briefest of looks, familiarity more than enough to communicate the silent agreement they took little to no time getting to.

But it was Provenza, always Provenza, who would communicate it to her and added a look with it for good measure and a delivery that was so classically him, "Too late? Well, who's gonna tell? The dead suspect?"

"No, but—"

"Captain," he sighed, "As much as I'd enjoy watching you squirm, not to mention Flynn turn into that interesting shade of puce in the maelstrom you seem to expect to come down on you over this…we are not tattletales."

She blinked at him, "Uh, wha—"

"Ma'am," Sanchez cut in with a low voice, "It was just us at the scene and you were gone before FID arrived."

"And Sgt. Elliot didn't seem in a hurry to question you after they made their assessment of the scene," Tao shrugged, "As far as anyone is concerned…you were not required to stay behind as you had not fired your weapon. As well you should know, Captain."

The relief on her face was apparent and Provenza shared a look with Sanchez and Tao who both nodded and gave him the smallest of smiles. She sagged against her seat, running a hand through her hair shakily.

"But Captain…?"

Sharon looked up to see Sanchez looking at her, "Yes, Julio?"

"Just so you know…we knew," he gave an almost imperceptible shrug.

She stared at him for a moment before carefully saying, "You knew…?"

He nodded and behind him Tao was doing the same, "I mean, we knew there was something going on, we just didn't know how serious it was it. But we weren't completely in the dark either…just so you know."

She opened her mouth to speak but found she could hardly figure out what to say to that.

Provenza smirked, "Well, whaddya know…the Captain's speechless. I think Sanchez deserves a prize right about now!"

The three men chuckled and Sharon gave them a tired smile.

"Well, that should teach us to try and get something past a room full of detectives, hmm?" she hummed with a soft smile.

Provenza smirked, "Damn straight."

They were exchanging smiles just as the doctor walked back in with an expectant look on her face, "Captain Raydor?"

Sharon turned and stood up, feeling just a little bit lighter than before even though her heart still felt heavy. She felt Sanchez and Tao move in behind her while Provenza stayed by her side. She couldn't tell them yet but having them be there for her and support her meant more to her than they could ever imagine. She knew what it was to be alone all too well and if she had to bear this one on her own, being so close to possibly losing Andy, she knew this was not something she was sure she could get through by herself. And she knew what she had said to Elaine before was truer than anything she could have ever said about her team.

They were family.

-o0o-

Consciousness did not come easily to Andy Flynn.

It wasn't the first time he's been beckoned to the land of the living through a blurry tunnel with the oddest selection of focus but it doesn't make it any less disconcerting every time. When he stirred awake it felt like he was rousing from a particularly bad hangover and though it has been a while since he last experienced such hell, his senses remembered it all too clearly.

His mind caught up though and he was more than a little relieved when his consciousness confirmed that he is not waking from a hangover but rather coming to in a hospital room. It was white and fuzzy and hell on the nerves but even in his sleep-addled state and while his brain caught up, his memory brought back just enough vital information to remind him just how he came to be in such a state.

Punk psycho kid. Cornered. Gun. A sledgehammer to his chest.

Twice.

Sharon.

He groaned and then there was movement and it was only then he realized someone was holding his hand. Andy blinked, trying to make his way out of the tunneled view his eyesight was giving him and turned as far as he could, squeezing the hand that was clutching his. Thankfully, it did not take long to find her.

She was looking at him with those green eyes of hers and they were wide and tired with something he was not accustomed to seeing there. She was hesitant and there was a level of anxiety in them that was so unlike her, he had to blink to make sure he was seeing her properly.

"Hey…" her voice sounded rough, deeper than usual like she'd been screaming for a week.

Andy noticed her hair was unusually ruffled too, maybe a little messy even as they were tucked hastily behind her ears and there were dark circles under her eyes. If he was not mistaken, she even looked as if there were still traces of makeup that had not been removed properly. And where she wore her dress before was now replaced by what looked like a blue hoodie he'd only ever seen her wear at home.

Looking at her even as she worried the inside of her cheek, only one thought occurred to him then and it was simply the fact that she's never looked quite so beautiful to him.

"Hey," he rasped then frowned when she stood up abruptly and turned away from him only to return with a cup and a bendy straw.

"Drink slow," she said quietly as she directed the straw to his lips, "We don't want you getting sick."

He drank enough just to wet his parched throat and grabbed her hand as she turned away to return the cup, stopping her movement. She looked at him and he gently tugged at her hand, prompting her to place the cup on the table next to his bed.

"Thanks," he said with a smile, running his thumb over her knuckles. He pulled her to him until she carefully took a seat next to him on the bed, easing herself slowly beside him and sinking into the mattress. She still wasn't close enough though.

He tugged on her hand again, "C'mere."

She smiled, letting him pull her down until she could brush her lips against his in the lightest of kisses. He smiled, putting a hand into her hair, "Hey, beautiful."

"Oh, Andy," she wrinkled her nose at him, one hand warm against his cheek and kissed him again. This one was firm though it was just her lips meeting his dry ones fully and almost insistently, as if she was afraid of putting the slightest pressure on him though it was so obvious she wanted to do more he could practically feel her holding back.

She closed her eyes, pressing her cheek against his, her voice ragged, "God…Andy, don't ever scare me like that again."

He felt his heart clench at the way her voice cracked, her breath warm against his ear. He pressed himself against her cheek, burying his fingers deeper into her hair, "Yeah…sorry about that, sweetheart. Just doing my job…keeping you on your toes and all that."

She pulled back, fingers trailing under her left eye beneath her glasses, her hand moving from his cheek down to his neck, "You get only one of those, Flynn and you just cashed in. You hear me? Never again, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," he gave her his best grin, reaching for her hand again and slipping his fingers between hers, reveling in the warmth radiating from her skin. "Sharon…"

She smiled at him only to have it falter and she turned away and he only caught the briefest glimpse of her face crumbling.

"Oh, sweetheart, don't…" he rumbled, holding onto her hand tighter just to make sure she wasn't going anywhere because he knew she didn't like crying in front of people. Usually he would let her go, would give her the space she needed, but he wasn't in any shape to go after her and he really did not want to be left helpless in the damned bed.

"I'm sorry," she said, turning to face him once more with a smile that was so obviously heartbreakingly forced that hurt because he knew she was still trying so hard to be strong for him, "It's okay. Everything's fine. I'm fine."

"Yeah, you are," he nodded a little, "But c'mere anyway 'cause I wanna do more than just hold your hand. I know I scared you but you scared me too, lady."

"I…what?" she looked so genuinely confused he couldn't help but grin even though he'd meant to be stern with her.

"You were supposed to stay in the car," he mumbled, "Lady, you're something."

She smiled, shaking her head a little, "Someone's gotta keep you on your toes too, right? I think it's only appropriate that it goes both ways."

"Fair enough," he nodded, "But we gotta come up with some rules to this thing…"

"How about no more getting shot?" her eyes danced even in their tiredness.

"That's a start," he smirked then made the mistake of trying to shrug because man, did that hurt.

Immediately, the all too brief moment of levity was chased from her eyes and she was on alert, "Oh, no. Do you need a doctor? Where does it hurt? Andy?"

He coughed a little, grimacing, "No, no…I'm okay. Don't—just don't go, okay? I need you here."

Sharon's eyes are filled with tears again and they just seemed to bring out the green in them even more, "Well, I'm here, Andy…I'm right here."

"Thanks, babe," he pulled her down until he had her lying next to him, letting her pull her yoga pants-clad leg over the bed and curled up hesitantly on his uninjured side. Silently, he encouraged her to lay her head on his shoulder, her hair brushing his chin. He carefully held her to him, his arm keeping her close.

"Honey, I think this bed isn't really meant for two," she murmured though she made no move to leave. "And I think the hospital frowns on these things…"

"Don't care," he mumbled, closing his eyes as he felt her shift against him.

"I'm not hurting you?" she asked quietly, carefully placing an arm across his stomach, well away from his injuries.

"Nah," he said into her hair, "I'd hurt more not having you next to me…just let me hold you, okay?"

"Okay," she said quietly, "Nicole and Rusty were here…I sent them home but they'll be back in the morning. Nicole sends her love."

"She wants to kill me, right?" he rumbled.

"No, she's just glad her daddy's okay," she sighed, "But Provenza and the team are still on the fence."

"Yeah, well, I got a bone to pick with that old lout too," he mumbled, only then remembering what happened during the shooting, "Designated driver my ass."

"Andy…"

"What? We had that pursuit down and—"

"I gave him the order," she pointed out, "Leave him be. Besides…he's got a bone to pick with you too…about you and me."

"Oh," he paused, "So…we've been outed?"

"With the team, yes," she sighed, "Kind of hard to deny it when I blew our cover…"

He nodded, pressing his mouth into her hair, "Yeah…well, good."

"Good?"

"Yeah, good," he smiled, "I don't know about you but I have been dying to shout it from the rooftops that I finally got Sharon Raydor to go out with me."

"Andy…" he couldn't see her but he was sure she was smiling, "Oh, uh, and…I'm sorry about the, uhm, thing."

"What thing?" he asked, frowning a little.

"About this morning and…well, my shoes," she muttered, "And for snapping at you."

He realized then she was apologizing for the fight and he found himself chuckling lightly. Shit, it had been about her shoes. "You can do whatever you want with your shoes and snap at me day and night, sweetheart. I'm perfectly happy…as long as you're with me."

"I am…" she said quietly but firmly, "Always, Andy...always."

"Good," he sighed, "And for the record, Sharon…I'm sorry too. I snapped first and I was being…well, me. I'm sorry."

"Why don't we just add snapping as part of our rules?"

He winced and it had nothing to do with getting shot, "You're banning snapping?"

"No," she chuckled, "That would be like asking you to stop calling suspects scumbags…no, honey. How about we make a rule like…snapping is okay as long as the making up doesn't wait too long to follow after? Or something like that."

Andy grinned, "Hey, that sounds good to me."

Sharon rubbed her cheek against his shoulder, "Alright. That's another one."

"Does that include mandatory make up sex in there?"

She hummed, "Hmm…possibly. We'll table that for now but I am definitely willing to open that up for debate later, yes."

He grinned, "This rule thing could be fun, I think…"

Sharon laughed, pressing her lips against his hospital gown-covered shoulder, "Well, whaddya know…I finally got Andy Flynn on to my side. Rulebook Raydor finally scores a point!"

"Ah…you smartass," he laughed a little, wincing as it caused him a bit of discomfort which he hid by burying his lips into her hair again. He didn't want her suddenly moving off the bed because he knew that's exactly what she would do if she thought she was hurting him even just a little. Instead, he nuzzled his nose into her hair and breathed, "You won't tell on me, right?"

She laughed, "Are you kidding? This I'll shout from the rooftops."

"Oh, you a just too wicked…absolutely wicked," he whispered, "Beautifully wicked."

She hummed, "Mhm…you wouldn't have me any other way."

Andy smiled, "Damn straight…I love you, Sharon."

She gently laid her hand over his heart, her touch gentle and light as a feather, "I love you too, Andy…and just in case I forgot to tell you…thank you for being okay."

He smiled, "Couldn't be without you, sweetheart."

Then they were both comfortably silent, Sharon breathing quietly and so very much there beside him, her hand on him warm and so comforting while Andy simply enjoyed being allowed to hold her again. They could not say it out loud yet and probably won't for a while, but they'd come too close this time, close enough that they were both going to need to recover not just physically but psychologically and emotionally as well.

Getting shot was no walk in the part but watching it happen to someone close to you, someone you'd move heaven and hell for, it does something to people. And Andy knew as strong as Sharon was capable of being, he knew she would be requiring some recovery time just like he needed to as well. He wouldn't be surprised if this put the team with the building's company shrink. There were just events that were just too terrifyingly human to shake off, no matter how tough the officer. And he would be the first to admit he would be needing time to heal after this. He wasn't so seasoned a cop that being reminded of his own mortality didn't affect him.

Andy knew he was stubborn but he was learning and he knew all too well how Sharon would make sure they all got out of this fine. Of course, that also meant making sure she got out of this in one piece as well and that would be up to him and the rest of them because the while the woman was notoriously good at looking after people, she was a little lousy when it came to looking after herself.

It was both adorable and a little frustrating, really though he chose to pay more attention to the part of him that found that part of her adorable. He didn't mind looking after her nope, though it was hell on the nerves.

Her gentle hum took him out of his thoughts, "You say something, babe? I think I drifted…"

"Not important," she murmured, "Just forgot to mention that Elaine dropped by."

"Okay…" he sighed, "What happened?"

"Remember when we thought she probably doesn't like me all that much?"

"Yeah," something was coming. He could feel it.

She hummed again, "Well, I think we just got a confirmation."

Andy groaned, "Oh, no…"

"It wasn't too bad," she said and he thought she might be smiling, "Although Provenza was ready to cuff her at some point."

"Ah…" he smiled as well, "This I gotta hear."

"Later, honey," she said, patting his side gently, "Rest for now. You're...tired."

He was sure the pause felt like her trying to suppress a yawn and he only then realized she'd told him she'd sent the kids home for the night. What time was it?

"Alright," he said, "Lights out for now then."

"Good boy," she hummed, pressing a kiss on his shoulder again before settling back in, "The nurse will most likely kick me out of this bed, but…"

Her voice trailed off and Andy waited for her to continue but he was only met with silence. He pressed his hand gently against her side where he was anchoring her to him. She didn't move or say anything more and instead, breathed in deeper. Her body settled against his, the hesitation in the process of trying not to cause him more pain leaving her as she drifted deeper into unconsciousness as her body relaxed.

Andy held her closer, breathing in deeply before placing another kiss into her hair. She had to be so exhausted, he realized belatedly and added this to the list of things he would need to pick a bone with with his partner.

Why had they let her stay when she was so obviously in no shape staying by his bedside? Provenza had never made it a secret he was no way intimidated by their slender though ever so larger than life Captain, where was all that bravado now? Andy sighed, lamenting it was really hard to find good help these days.

Not that he would deny having her there brought him great comfort but he did not like the idea of him being the cause of anything that might befall her just because he was dumb enough to get shot. Andy berated himself in silence, pulling Sharon closer to him and swallowed a bout of self-loathing brought on by guilt. Her life was not perfect and Andy wanted to be her stress-free zone, her safe haven and he'd done a piss-poor job of that today.

And he'd been doing so well too, before all this.

He'd make it better though, be better—after he kicked Provenza's ass.

Andy felt her shift lightly against him, humming a little in her sleep. Yet another thing he found quite endearing about her. She hummed a lot in many different ways, even in her sleep. She was the only one he knew who did that.

Let some nurse come in and try and kick her out of his bed, he thought. Shot twice and truly raggedy Andy personified, he'd still take 'em all on. He didn't want to let her go and he wasn't going to, not anytime soon. He'd sooner lose an arm holding her than follow stupid hospital policy. He'd hold on to her as long as the heavens would allow.

"Sleep, babe," Andy rumbled into her hair, "Just sleep…I'm not going anywhere."

And damn it, he meant every word of it.