Disclaimer: So Joss and I were walking around town one night like we do, and I asked him "Joss, sweetie, could I take Spike for the weekend? Just for the weekend, I promise. Please?" and I looked at him all Bambi-like and he just looked at me and said "Youre just using me for my Spike, aren't you?" and when I blushed he started yelling "NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE MY SPIKE AND YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY OF MY OTHER CHARACTERS EITHER! AND YOU HAVE STUPID HAIR!". Great, there goes my chances at stealing Wesley too...

Chapter 1

Cleveland was nice. Not that she'd hated England, but everything there made her think of him, and she'd missed the U.S. Plus, Cleveland had the added bonus of living on a Hellmouth again, something she'd shamefully missed in England. There was something to be said for stopping beasties from destroying the world every other day.

Plus, everyone ended up there sooner or later anyways. As the only confirmed Hellmouth, Cleveland was the unofficial headquarters of the remaining Scooby Gang, although their official one was in England. Even Faith and Andrew hung out there when not doing whatever it was Faith and Andrew do.

Xander was actually the only one to have permanent residence in Cleveland, although Giles' 'temporary' vacation from England had lasted for more than a year. The reason for his extended vacation was simple; teaching. With all the new Slayers showing up all over the world and new Watchers being rounded up, someone had to show everyone the ropes, and their Cleveland base was the first choice for its size and staff.

Faith (and now Buffy) was making pretty good headway with the Slayers, but only Giles was capable of training new Watchers. However, Xander, with his ample experience from the Sunnydale days, had enough knowledge to at least assist Giles, and was actually proving himself to be a very capable Watcher. Through sheer luck, Willow had stumbled across an abandoned factory on a patch of consecrated ground, so with a little remodeling and a few more protection spells, it became their newest base. Everything was great.

Except for Buffy.

She was currently on break. Faith had taken a group of newbies on patrol, and Giles had the rest in research mode on some new beastie, so she decided to wander around town, since she'd only been there for about a month and had yet to find a good bar to drown her sorrows in.

In the year since destroying the old Hellmouth (along with her house, school, and mother's grave), she'd found that alcohol was an extremely attentive companion. Most of the gang had taken their victory in stride, happily congratulating each other, and moving on with new confidence. Sure, they'd lost a few of their own, but hey, people died in war. They'd mourned and moved on with their lives.

But a few of them hadn't. A few of them had stayed, wallowing in their grief, mourning their loses, putting on happy faces for everyone else. And Buffy was part of that exclusive club.

She had it worse than Xander and Dawn though. Xander had loved Anya with all his heart, and while he'd left her at the altar, she'd known how he'd felt about her and by the end had had a shot at working things out, and probably would've made it. When she died, she died a hero, fighting the good fight, and Xander was proud of her, even as he mourned.

With Dawn, there was a little more pain. Dawn shared Buffy's grief, but in a whole different way. She hadn't lost a soul mate, but a best friend, not a lover, but a big brother in so many ways. On top of that, she had the added benefit of Buffy's grief, sharing her sister's pain, putting her own mourning on hold to ease her sister back to life. But Buffy's pain was deeper than the teenager could imagine.

Dawn had lost a comrade, a babysitter, a sharer of jokes. Xander had lost a partner, a wife, a best friend. Their grief was nothing.

Buffy had lost Spike. A simple statement, but the effects spoke for themselves.

Xander regretted not marrying Anya while he'd had the chance. Dawn regretted not forgiving Spike before he'd died, and not telling him how much he'd meant to her.

Buffy regretted not loving him enough. She'd only told him she loved him once, in his final moments as their burning hands had intertwined for the last time, and he hadn't believed her. Now she'd never get the chance to convince him.

It'd taken her weeks to stop isolating herself in silence, and finally give in to the tears, but to the world, these tears only lasted a day. Only Dawn knew that she still soaked her pillow every night, often while unconscious. Her dreams insisted on haunting her with a montage of every punch, every insult, every time she had ever hurt him, finally ending with his final moments of disbelief. Of course he didn't believe her. What had she ever done to make him believe her?

These gloomy thoughts consumed her as she wandered around town. She finally found a cheap all night biker bar. Perfect. That meant the strong stuff, and if she got in a bar fight, so much the better. With all the new slayers, she hadn't gotten to let of nearly enough steam. She strode in with a cocky swagger she didn't feel and slammed a twenty on the counter with strength she didn't want. She'd have traded it all for a sarcastic blonde vampire with a British accent and a leather coat.

The next few hours blended together with the more beer she drank. She'd have preferred something stronger, like scotch, but that reminded her too much him, so she went without. It was actually rather dull. No demons to hit, no friends to tease, no Spike to laugh with. When she left, she made a mental note not to go back to such a dull, lifeless bar.

Or maybe it was her. Life did seem less nowadays. Less… colorful. Less full. Like everything else, she blamed it all on Spike.

She walked out dizzy, but she didn't mind. She was only around the corner from the new headquarters. All she had to do was turn down this alley and turn… no, wait, dead end. Okay, the next alley, and turn and then…crap.

It took her twenty minutes to admit defeat. She knew even drunk she could handle most things that came her way, but she really didn't want to wake up with the enormous hangover she was sure to have in an alley.

Finally she spotted a familiar street. She started walking home, her head down, tears caused by self-loathing and alcohol threatening to spill. She didn't deserve friends and family as great as hers. She didn't deserve the love of Angel or Riley, let alone Spike, who'd loved her and helped her even when she didn't deserve it in the least. She deserved to live out her days as drunken hermit in the mountains. No one would miss her. Sure, she'd miss the clothes, but-

BOOM!

With a huge blast of energy, she flew backwards, sobered instantly.

"What the hell?" she exclaimed. Then she looked up.

Six people were slowly pulling themselves up on what was a few seconds ago a deserted street. She looked up quickly enough to see 3 blue energy holes quickly disappear above what seemed to be a group of four and two individuals.

A quick look over told her all she needed to know. The man on the right was Wesley, her former Watcher, looking more rugged and mature then she'd seen him last, but Wesley nevertheless. He seemed to be covered in blood, but there was no visible wound. The green demon on the left she assumed was on the side of good, as he didn't try to attack her, and, judging by the way he ran to help Wesley up, knew the group at large, though she couldn't help but question his fashion sense.

The group of four directly in front of her looked like they'd been through hell, but like Wesley, didn't have a scratch on them. She recognized Angel in the lead, obviously; the ensouled vampire couldn't help but play Follow the Leader whenever possible. On his left was a scary looking, leather clad, blue-haired woman, and on his right was a tough looking, African-American guy. And behind the trio holding the ax was…

"Spike," Buffy whispered.

Another thundering 'BOOM' made them all jump as a young man fell from the sky.

"Okay, I take it back. If that beer can make me hallucinate this much, I'm going to that bar more often."

Author's Note: K, so I know this says Romance/Humor, so there WILL be light-heartedness eventually, just had to get all the angsty stuff out first. Please review, first story and all, and I'll have the next chapter soon, just figuring out this whole set-up first. Give a little review, get a little more story, it's the way of the world.