Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction, based on characters and settings created by J.R.R. Tolkien. No profit is made from this work.
A Love To Die For
There was a great feast in Minas Tirith, for the day had finally arrived: The wedding of King Elessar and Arwen, daughter of Elrond of Rivendell! The marriage vows had already been spoken, and now the feast was at its high point.
There were people of all ages and all races: Men, Elves, Dwarves... and of course the four Hobbits, who had done all those incredible deeds, compared to their size: Frodo the Ringbearer, his loyal servant Samwise, and their companions, Merry and Pippin, who had fought alongside the Men.
Though all seemed to be having a wonderful time, for some the celebration stirred mixed emotions: worry, anticipation, sorrow and joy.
And there were some who felt rather lost in this great crowd of people; Merry was one of them. Although he usually felt quite comfortable in social situations, he was feeling somewhat overwhelmed among so very many strangers. He decided to take a quiet walk beyond the feast area.
"I'm going to have a little walk around," he said to his companions. "I won't go very far."
"Alright, Merry," his cousin Pippin said. "We will be here."
He walked past the newly planted White Tree, which had just recently been planted in the place of the one which was dead. Then he wandered towards the edge of the cliff which the city was built around.
He looked down for a second. Good gracious, that was high! He felt a bit nauseated, and he backed off a bit. Hobbits are normally afraid of heights, so he didn't like this much at all.
"Yes, we are high up here," Merry suddenly heard a soft woman's voice say behind him.
He quickly turned his head, for he hadn't noticed that anybody was near.
It was Arwen, the Queen herself.
"Oh... sorry, my Lady," he stammered shyly. "I had no idea that you were here."
Arwen laughed.
"I am just having a little bit of fresh air, just like you, my friend," she said in a friendly tone. "It gets so hot in the hall."
"Where is Stri... I mean, King Elessar?" Merry asked. "Isn't he with you?"
"Oh, he is having a little chat with Faramir," Arwen said and smiled. "They have so many things to talk about, so I decided to take a little stroll. Besides, I have been speaking with the guests all day, so it was nice to take a little break and just think," she added.
"I was... kind of thinking too," Merry said and looked at Arwen. She was so beautiful in her light-green dress, he hardly could take his eyes off her.
"What were you thinking about?" Arwen said, looking mischievously at Merry. "Will you tell me?"
"I don't know..." Merry said, hesitating a bit. He was silent for a moment, and then he continued: "Er... lady Arwen... can I ask you something?"
"What is that?" Arwen said, smiling.
"Is it true, that in order to be able to marry... er... Aragorn... you had to..." he paused hesitantly before going on, "you had to give up your immortality as an Elf?"
Arwen's face became serious, and she looked at Merry.
"Yes, Merry," she answered, "it is true. I decided long ago, that I would rather share one lifetime with the Man I loved, than to face all the ages of this world alone. I love Aragorn, and I have renounced passage to Valinor and to the Halls of Mandos for his sake."
"What are the Halls of Mandos?" Merry asked, curiously.
"It is the place where my elven kin go when they die," Arwen said. "I have been given this choice of becoming mortal. If I had decided to go to Valinor as an immortal Elf, Aragorn and I would be separated forever, even until the ending of the world..." She became serious when she said that. "Elves do not share the fate of Men. We do not know where they go beyond the span of their lives."
Merry looked thoughtfully at Arwen.
"And where is it that Hobbits go, my Lady?"
"I do not know," Arwen said. "But I believe they must have the same destination as Men, for Hobbits are also the children of Ilúvatar."
"Ilúvatar?"
"The One... the Creator."
"Oh," Merry said in awe. Then he looked again at Arwen. "Does that mean I will see King Théoden again?"
"Yes, I am sure you will!" Arwen said and smiled.
They were silent for a while, standing at the edge of the enormous cliff. They looked down at the vast fields of Gondor below.
Merry looked again at Arwen, and noticed that she had tears in her eyes. He had actually noticed it a bit before, when she mentioned her love for Aragorn and that she wanted to share the fate of Men with him. He suddenly got a lump in his throat.
"Lady Arwen..." he said. "That must really be a strong love...to be willing to literally give up your life for the one you love..."
Arwen looked at Merry with a gentle look in her eyes.
"Have you ever been in love, Merry?" she then asked.
Merry blushed.
"Ummm... no, not really... Nothing serious at least," he answered. "Well, I've fooled around a bit with a couple of lasses back home in the Shire... just, you know... kissing in the barn, or at our tavern. Nothing more serious than that... At least I've never met any lass so far that I would be willing to... die for..."
Arwen smiled.
"But you almost died for one," she said.
Merry suddenly blushed again. She was right... he had almost died... but no! He had never thought that way about Éowyn. Éowyn was his friend, and she was human (and a tall human), and engaged to Faramir...
Arwen looked at Merry, as if she could see what he was thinking.
"You are always willing to die for your friends in war," she said. "But to be willing to sacrifice everything you have, for the one you love... to be willing to dedicate your life completely to the one you love, even if you need to sacrifice everything else..." She fell silent.
Merry looked at Arwen, his face serious.
"That is true love," he said, and he felt emotion tighten his throat. "I don't know if I will ever experience anything like that..." He suddenly became sad.
Arwen looked intently at Merry for a long time, as if she could see something beyond him. Then she knelt down before him, lay her hands gently on his shoulders and looked straight into his eyes.
"I thought for a moment that I saw something," she suddenly said. "Let me look at you for a while."
She knelt for a long time, looking into Merry's eyes. Merry suddenly felt like when he was with the Fellowship in the woods of Lothlórien, and the lady Galadriel had looked at him like this. He felt as if he were under a magnifying glass... But he trusted Arwen.
Then Arwen spoke again.
"Merry," she said. "The love I was speaking of earlier... You will find that kind of love. Trust me... You will not go through your life alone. You will find your right half before you know it. And you will love her like I love Aragorn, and you will want to give your life for her."
Merry looked at Arwen, astonished. His heart was pounding, both with surprise and anticipation.
"Do you really think so, lady Arwen? That I will someday love someone... just like you love Aragorn?"
"Do I think so?" Arwen said and smiled. "I know so! – And I believe she is closer than you think!"
She embraced Merry, then stood up and walked back towards the palace, where the feast was still going.
Merry stood for a long time, thinking. Could this be true? But Elves were supposed to have the gift of foresight, so perhaps...
Then he walked in the direction Arwen had gone, and soon found Pippin, who was chatting with Aragorn and Faramir.
But Arwen's words dwelt in Merry's subconscious, even though he would forget them for a while.
ooo ooo ooo
Many years later, Merry was sitting at his desk in Brandy Hall, writing. He had just finished the first chapter in a book he was writing about the relationship between Rohirric and old Hobbitish words.
It was already past midnight. His wife Estella and their children, Éomer, Éowyn and Saradoc, had long since gone to bed, but Merry was still awake. He could sometimes be quite the nightowl, especially when he was writing something. Then he would often completely forget the time, and Estella would tease him gently about it in the morning.
Merry yawned. Perhaps it was time for bed. He put down the quill, closed the book and stood up.
He walked along the corridor and into the bedroom, closing the door behind him as quietly as he could, so he would not wake Estella.
As he undressed, his gaze fell for a moment on Estella where she lay asleep. He suddenly remembered the words of Queen Arwen, spoken in that quiet moment during her wedding feast in Minas Tirith:
"You will find the kind of love that you will want to sacrifice your life for..."
Merry felt again all the emotion he had that night when he thought about those words. The Queen had been right after all...
He crawled quietly into the bed, and pulled the blanket over himself. He lay for little while, looking at Estella, who slept peacefully at his side. Merry touched her hair gently.
"I love you, Estella", he whispered into the night. "I would sacrifice my life for you."