Soba ni Irareta Nara

by The Emperor's Empress

Sequel to It's That Kind of Feeling. Entry for AkaKuro Week 2018 Day 2.

The Emperor's Empress:

Remember my old AkaKuro fanfic It's That Kind of Feeling? Well, look who just got a sequel? :D And yes, I wrote that one before Last Game, so the Emperor never vanished in this one, just kind of like switched places with Oreshi, soooooo...

Anyway~

This is beta'd by Amanozako-hime, because I annoyed her half to death with all my private messages... Hahahaha xD Blame her for all the drama :D Sadly, she's too busy to sit down to write her own entries for AkaKuro Week, so this is the best that she can do to contribute to the fandom - by helping me with my own stories :D Though I have the feeling that if Amanozako-hime participated, she'd be dishing out angsty stories just because she likes making people cry - she's sadistic like that. :D

Akashi might be a bit OOC but I think that he can be a mischievous little imp whenever he wants no, now that he is back to his original self. To those who've read the Replace novels about Rakuzan's graduation, then you will understand~

Send your love by dropping in some reviews! Thanks a lot!

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AkaKuro 2018 - Day 2

[Possibility] [Focus] [Pause]

"There was only one."

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Akashi toweled off his hair and regarded his reflection in the mirror with a frown marring his pretty face. A hand strayed to his left eye. He blinked, as if expecting it to turn gold all of a sudden. He sighed. There were days when he's pretty sure that he's Akashi Seijuurou, but some days the name doesn't mean anything to him.

Who is Akashi Seijuurou?

The thought made him feel dizzy.

Barefoot, he padded into his shared bedroom with his former senpai and teammate, Mayuzumi Chihiro. Hanging the towel on the back of a chair to dry, Akashi took his time putting on his clothes, ignoring the way his muscles ached from last night's activities. No one would have guessed, what with how the room seemed immaculate and spotless - no rumpled or stained sheets nor scattered clothes to give them away. Then again, Akashi was not sure what he and Mayuzumi were for the past four years that they started doing this. He didn't expect meeting Rakuzan's former phantom in the streets of New York when he first got here, didn't expect him to be taking an arts degree in the very same college that Akashi was in, didn't expect the two of them getting drunk in Akashi's penthouse suit and ending up in bed together - never mind that they'd ended up moaning different names when they came (not that they even know that fact), and neither did expect that they'd keep doing it this long. Mayuzumi ended up moving in with Akashi, but only the two of them knew of that particular arrangement. It's for the best, seeing that whatever it was going between the two of them was going to end the moment they get back home to Japan.

Home, Akashi thought absentmindedly as he combed his hair with his fingers. Where was home exactly? Not the Kyoto manor, whose grand halls seemed to sterile and cold to the heir; nor was his Tokyo apartment during middle school, a penthouse suite exactly like the one he had right now. Akashi's mind conjured an image of his younger self sitting at a small dining table where a boy with powder-blue hair and eyes was serving him a bowl of warm soup.

"Here, Sei-kun," the boy said as he placed the bowl in front of the wide-eyed redhead. "Mother made it, so it should taste pretty good."

"Tetsuya," he breathed, wondering why that certain memory surfaced while he was thinking of home. But of course, Akashi was never good at playing dumb, especially with himself. That and he was never dumb.

Home for Akashi had never been a place. It was always in the form of a person. First was his mother, whom he lost when she passed away when he was ten. Then in middle school, he found refuge, even though it was a temporary one, in Nijimura Shuuzo, until he met Kuroko Tetsuya that one fateful evening in the third-string gym.

Akashi wonders if he still has a home to return after abandoning it all this time.

Reflecting on how his relationship with the bluenette had been for the past year, the redhead doubts that he'll be welcomed with open arms when he comes back.

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Mayuzumi was currently preparing breakfast when Akashi ventured into the kitchen. Akashi helped by making the coffee, already knowing how the older male likes his morning drink - strong with lots of cream and sugar. Akashi prefers his coffee black, something that never fails to incite a disgusted look on Mayuzumi's face.

"Are you alright, Sei?" The phantom asks while Akashi waits for him to finish frying the hash browns. His back was turned to the dining table but he can almost see the tightening of Akashi's shoulders at his sudden question. He always did that whenever someone inquires about his well-being, and Mayuzumi thinks that it was a carry-over from the days when Akashi's father was still that cold and heartless bastard until old age seemed to mellow him out - that or perhaps he had finally moved on from the death of his beloved wife.

"I'm fine," Akashi said, taking a sip of his coffee and almost burning his tongue in the process.

Mayuzumi turned off the stove and scooped the hash browns to a porcelain plate and carried it to the table. He sat down next to Akashi and the two began eating, the silence occasionally broken by the clink of silverware against porcelain. When they were finished, Akashi did the dishes while Mayuzumi took his turn in the shower. Since it was a Sunday, the two of them decided to stay in to prepare for their long trip tomorrow. Mayuzumi joined Akashi on the couch, who wordlessly leaned his head on the taller boy's shoulder while staring blankly at the empty TV screen on the wall across him.

He'd never imagined himself to be in this position, and Mayuzumi was certain that Akashi didn't either. As far as the gray-haired boy was concerned, they were only friends taking comfort in each other in a foreign land, nothing more, nothing less. Sometimes, though, Mayuzumi was starting to doubt himself. Was that all that Akashi meant to him?

When he heard the younger boy sigh for the third time, Mayuzumi said, "You don't look fine, Sei," he muttered, a hand wrapping around Akashi's shoulder in an almost hug. "Something bothering you?"

Akashi's eyes were distracted as he looked up at him. "I..." he trailed off, not really knowing how to explain the way he was feeling right now. He didn't notice how close their faces were, but Mayuzumi did. It was selfish of him, but Mayuzumi cannot find it in himself to care. This might be the last moment he'll share with the redhead before he returns to his rightful phantom who was probably waiting still for Akashi all these years. Mayuzumi was not stupid - he knows that he was only a replacement, just like he was back in their high school years, when the boy with the heterochromatic gaze picked him from the rest and modeled him to be Rakuzan's very own phantom sixth man because he wasn't blind as to how the Rakuzan team resembled Teikou's Kiseki no Sedai with their personalities and skills and the illusion won't be complete if there was no one to play the part of the shadow. The image was distorted and skewed but to the deranged eyes of the Emperor, it was probably enough. Not exactly perfect but it will do.

Mayuzumi had felt sick back then, then as he began to slowly unravel the boy that was Akashi Seijuurou, disgust turned to pity, and then to understanding, and then-

The first few times they kissed, both of them would close their eyes, but now Mayuzumi kept his eyes open, watching as ruby eyes widened at the feel of another mouth on his. Akashi went rigid for a moment before relaxing into the kiss, eyes falling shut as Mayuzumi deepened the kiss, a hand cupping his neck while the other pulled him closer to the taller boy. They basked in the intimate moment until a harsh shrill of Akashi's phone cut through their daze, making them jump back from each other, like they were caught doing something that they shouldn't. Perhaps they are, Mayuzumi thought dimly as he turned away first to calm the erratic pounding of his heart. Grabbing the phone ringing obnoxiously on the coffee table, he handed it to Akashi.

"It's Mibuchi," he said, thankful that his voice sounded normal. "You better answer that now or else he'll hound you tomorrow. And you wouldn't want that."

Akashi took the phone, their fingers brushing as he did so. For some reason, guilt bloomed inside him. Ignoring the feeling for now, he nodded at Mayuzumi. "Aa. Reo can be a nuisance when he puts his mind to it." He pressed the Answer button and leaned back on the couch. "Reo, how nice of you to call so early in the morning."

As Akashi chuckled at whatever nonsense Mibuchi was telling him, Mayuzumi excuses himself from the room and retreated to the bedroom. Gritting his teeth, he glanced down and cursed himself.

He'll need to take another shower.

And a cold one at that.

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The day they returned had gone off pretty well, Mayuzumi thinks, as he found himself in a bar packed with people they'd befriended over the years. Most of them were Akashi's circle of friends, who brought their own circle of friends with them. It didn't come as a surprise that most of them were people they'd known through basketball; there were some new faces, like the ginger-blond boy that Teikou's former manager introduced as her boyfriend, or the delicate brunette that was currently hooked on Kagami's arm, but most of them were familiar faces. He even got to meet Akashi's former captain in Teikou who greeted the redhead with a fond ruffle on the head, which Akashi didn't seem to mind. Mibuchi as expected fawned on his beloved 'Sei-chan' the moment Akashi made his grand entrance, with Hayama and Nebuya not so far behind. As for his middle school teammates, they were equally ecstatic, until Kuroko showed up.

It's like the whole world stopped as Kuroko approached the redhead and simply extended his hand towards Akashi.

"Congratulations for graduating, Sei-kun," Kuroko said, "And welcome back."

Akashi blinked, looking a bit confused at the other boy's behavior before accepting the handshake, only to pull Kuroko into a hug. Burying his face into the boy's soft vanilla-scented hair, Akashi muttered almost sulkily into his ear, "What's with the formality, Tetsuya?" He tightened the embrace and smiled when he felt Kuroko's arms wrap around his waist just as tightly. "God, I missed you. So, so much," he said quietly, and that's when he felt Kuroko press his face into the crook of his neck as he tried to stifle a sob. As if he was expecting it, Akashi patted Kuroko's back a few times comfortingly. "I'm home, Tetsuya. I'm home."

Mayuzumi felt the need to turn his back from the display of affection in front of him.

Gods, he needs a drink.

Wandering to the counter, he signaled at the slightly smiling Himuro who was watching Akashi and Kuroko's reunion as well and asked for something strong to drown the bitterness welling inside of him.

Damn it.

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For the rest of the night, Akashi stuck beside Kuroko, who seemed to be drinking more than usual. Akashi refrained from getting inebriated himself, as he had taken it his responsibility to see the bluenette home. He'd known through Mibuchi that Kuroko was living alone now in an apartment two blocks from where he used to live in middle school, and Aomine whispered to him where Kuroko keeps his spare key.

"It's taped under one of the leaves of the potted plant by the door," Aomine said, shoving a palm in Kise's face when the tipsy blond leaned too close for comfort.

Akashi nodded his thanks, then raised a fine eyebrow at Kise who was trying to get Aomine's attention. "Are you and Kise...together?"

Aomine scrunched up his face then shrugged. "Not really." Sure, the two of them would hook up once in a while, but neither said anything about commitment so Aomine left it at that. Suddenly, he gestured at the bar where Mayuzumi was currently chatting with Himuro. "Are you with that guy?"

Surprised that Aomine actually asked him that, Akashi shook his head. "Not really."

"Good. Tetsu will be glad to hear that," Aomine said casually. He was already turning to Kise when he added in a serious tone, "He'd waited long enough. Don't hurt him anymore than you have, Akashi."

Akashi doesn't have to ask Aomine - he knows that Teikou's former ace was the one who got Kuroko drunk years ago and had heard the bluenette's drunk confession to Akashi. Contrary to what he'd told the bluenette, Akashi had really wanted to believe him that time and would have told the bluenette that he loved him back if not for the guilt that gnawed his insides when he remembered that he was, in fact, with Mayuzumi during that time. Plus he's not even sure if he deserves Kuroko after everything he'd done to him.

He'd almost tried to break him once, for kami's sake.

But that's not me who wants to do it. It's him - the darker, sinister part of him - but isn't it you as well?

Who am I? I am Akashi Seijuurou, of course.

"I think you've had enough, Kuroko-kun," Himuro's calm voice broke through Akashi's dark thoughts. Blinking, he saw the former Yosen player hovering over the smashed Kuroko who was still asking for one more drink.

"Tetsuya," he said next to him, "I think we should call it a night."

"One more~" Kuroko sang before dangerously swaying on his seat. Akashi caught him before he fell down.

"Come on," he said, adjusting Kuroko on his seat. Kuroko was being uncooperative, though, so Akashi sighed and settled to holding Kuroko against him, ignoring Himuro's chuckle of amusement when the bluenette snuggled up against him like an overgrown kitten while mumbling about how good he smells.

"He'll get a killer headache when he wakes up tomorrow," the raven-haired beauty said with a shake of his head as he gathered the glasses on the counter.

"Not like he doesn't deserve it," Akashi grumbled, adjusting his hold on Kuroko when he squirmed against his neck. "Anyway, I'll see him home. It was nice seeing everyone."

"Ah. Take care on your way home," Himuro replied. "See you around, Akashi."

Akashi bid goodbye to the few people who were not totally wasted, namely, Midorima, Kagami, Mibuchi, Mayuzumi, Murasakibara, and Aomine, turning down Kagami's offer of taking Kuroko home so that Akashi can stay and enjoy the party more. Akashi made up an excuse of not being able to stay up late because he was tired from the trip and would like to rest - besides, it's not like this is the only night that he can arrange a get-together with his friends.

He'd chatted a while with Takao earlier, who proudly showed off his engagement ring to the smirking Akashi who congratulated Midorima for it. Nijimura appeared out of nowhere, escaping Mibuchi who had been flirting with him nonstop since their introduction hours ago, and teased Midorima about being the first to be tied down. Apparently, Nijimura had expected Kise or Aomine to be the first to settle down. Then Mibuchi came with Mayuzumi hanging off his arm, looking a little worse for wear, and then after exchanging a short banter with Akashi, he dragged Nijimura away for a game of a Truth or Dare with Hayama and Nebuya to one corner of the bar. Now he can see that most of them were slumped down on the tables totally wasted, and he wished good luck to those who remained to take care of those drunks.

As for him, his hands were already full with one Kuroko Tetsuya.

"Sei-kuuuuun~" the smaller male purred in his ear, and Akashi doesn't know whether to laugh or to get angry at him.

"Tetsuya, behave," he said as he led him to where his car was parked. Mayuzumi had came in with him but then the older phantom would have to go with Mibuchi later. Pushing Kuroko into the front seat of his luxurious Maserati, Akashi closed the door and rounded the car to get to the driver's seat. He was just about to reach for his seatbelt strap when he noticed Kuroko having difficulty with his. Of course, with the amount of alcohol in his system, Kuroko can't even walk without tumbling down, much less work the clasp of a seatbelt.

He's just that drunk.

Letting out another sigh, Akashi leaned over to help him, reaching over to tug the strap across his chest and sliding the clasp into the buckle with a sharp click.

"There," he was saying as he double-checked the tightness of the strap, only to pause when Kuroko's hands strayed to his shoulders, making him look up to the dimly illuminated face of Kuroko.

He shouldn't have.

Their position brought their faces inches from each other, and Akashi can smell the alcohol on the bluenette's breath, which for some reason smells oddly arousing.

Ruby eyes widened immediately at the thought. I didn't just think that.

But the inside of the car was dark, and Kuroko's eyes were too bright, and as he was torn with indecision whether to lean closer or pull away, Kuroko surprised Akashi when he made the decision for the two of them.

Akashi froze when something soft and warm pressed against his lips. It actually took him a couple of seconds to realize that Kuroko was kissing him and that he was actually kissing him back.

He felt like he was taking advantage of Kuroko and he really wanted to push him away but not finding the heart to do so. Still, he tried and managed to do so, missing the feel of Kuroko's lips against his instantly, but he'd rather kiss him when he was sober and fully in control of his actions.

"Sei-kun..."

Swallowing, Akashi focused his gaze on the road in front of him as he started to drive. He cannot afford any distractions. "...Later, Tetsuya."

He just hope that Kuroko will forget everything when morning comes.

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Kuroko, unfortunately, remembered everything that had transpired between him and Akashi last night.

The instant he opened his eyes the following day, the memories came rushing back and Kuroko can only stare at the ceiling in shock. Minutes later, he let out a horrified yell.

"Shi- Oh kami, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"

He just kissed his bestfriend.

That he was harboring feelings for since they were in middle school.

Who did not believe him when he confessed to him when he got drunk for the first time.

He remembered Akashi returning the kiss but was that real or a figment of his imagination?

"I really should avoid getting drunk," he muttered as his hangover made itself known in the form of a massive pounding headache. "Ugh. Stupid alcohol," he muttered as he tried to crawl pathetically out of bed, only to fall in a mess of sheets and pillows when a familiar voice sounded from the open doorway.

"Regretting it now?"

Whipping around from his awkward position on the floor, Kuroko saw a red-haired man standing casually with a cup of coffee in his hand, still dressed in the same clothes he was wearing last night but looking like he never slept in them, and an exasperated look on his face as he took in the state that the bluenette was in.

Sei-kun. He's here, he thought, and then-

Of course he'll be here, a voice in his head sarcastically muttered. He's the one who took you home and tucked you to bed. Can you please remember everything else instead of focusing on the kiss?

Akashi's greeting sank in.

Regretting it? What does he mean by that? Getting drunk? Or was he talking about the kiss?

When Kuroko continued on making a deer-in-the-headlights expression at him, Akashi shrugged and made his way inside, putting the cup of coffee on the study desk before crouching in front of him and began fixing his atrocious hair that resembles a bird's nest. Somehow, this was not how Kuroko expected the first few days of Akashi's return to turn out...

Surely he had better things to do than take care of his drunken ass?

But damn it, Akashi's hands on his head was so calming and soothing and-

"There. You look more human now," Akashi said with a quiet snort of amusement as Kuroko made a noise of disappointment. Sitting up properly, Kuroko looked at him with a pitiful look on his face that only made the redhead to laugh out loud in that dignified manner of his.

Since Kuroko didn't seem to be getting up from his seat just yet, Akashi went to reach for the coffee and handed it to him before joining him on the floor. He poked at the cup cradled in between the boy's pale hands.

"Drink it. It will make you feel better."

That did it. As if snapping from a trance, Kuroko panicked, almost spilling his coffee had Akashi did not put his hands over his to steady him. However, it seemed to do more harm than good as the bluenette's heart raced a mile a minute in his chest at the contact, prompting Akashi to take the cup from his hands and set it on the floor a good distance away lest Kuroko knocks it down what with his flailing around.

He's not sure whether to be amused or annoyed with Kuroko's behavior. It's just so unlike him - hell, he'd offered him a handshake instead of a hug and then proceeded to drink himself silly, as if trying to forget that Akashi was there beside him all the time. They'd hardly even had a decent conversation last night, for kami' sake!

"Tetsuya, will you please calm down." Why was he so jumpy around Akashi anyway? Could it be that he remembers?

But Kuroko could not, even if he wanted to. Maybe if Akashi backed down a little, give him breathing space, because he's too close that Kuroko can feel the warmth coming from his body.

He's that close.

And it was making his brain to close-circuit, if that was even possible.

"Did the alcohol in your brain somehow erased your capability to speak?"

Akashi was getting snarky, not that Kuroko hadn't seen this side of him before. There were times when the two would talk to each other in a sarcastic and insulting manner but that's just shows how close they are to trade words without risking the other to get offended.

"Oi."

"...S-Sei-ku...n..."

Akashi leveled him with a look, clearly unimpressed. "So you can talk."

"Of course I can talk," Kuroko snapped, then paled once more as he remembered why he was in this state. Face falling to his hands, he moaned as his head throbbed, "Oh gods..."

"Want to lie down?" Akashi leaned back, an arm propped beside him for support. "You know, for when the crushing sense of horrible realization sets in."

Kuroko was not really hearing him as he internally panicked. "Sei-kun, whatever I said or did last night was out of line-I was drunk so-"

A loud snort cut him off but Kuroko refused to look at Akashi. "Really?" he drawled, "I didn't notice. I think you were enjoying yourself last night." Dropping his voice a bit, Akashi asked, "So, do I really smell that good?"

Kuroko made a strangled sound in his throat and wished for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. Akashi, on the other hand, was laughing internally as he watched the color drain from Kuroko's face. "I didn't..."

"Yes, you did." Akashi was smirking smugly. "You can't even walk to the car without kissing the ground..."

The word kiss made them pause; Akashi in tense anticipation and Kuroko in growing mortification. The redhead looked like he didn't mean for that word to slip out but then it did and he can't take it back now. The bluenette looked equally distressed; he was clearly hoping that Akashi won't make any mention of last night but he did and there's no escaping it now.

As expected, it was Kuroko who erupted first. He looked like a fish out of water as he opened and closed his mouth, not knowing what to say first. "Th-that was- I didn't mean to- I mean, I-I was drunk and it was dark and it seemed like a good idea at the time and I really liked it but..." His incoherent blabbering died out as he realized what he had just said near the end. "Someone shoot me. Now."

There was an awkward silence after that, and then, Akashi cleared his throat unnecessarily, recovering a bit from his major slip-up. Had he not wished for Kuroko to not remember, or had he?

"So, you... remember," he said finally. Akashi looks slightly uncomfortable, and no, it doesn't have anything to do with the hardness of the floor that they were sitting on.

"I'm not a forgetful drunk," Kuroko muttered sulkily, eyeing the blankets pooled around his knees, wondering if he can pull them up and hide himself from Akashi's inquisitive gaze. "Still, I shouldn't have done that. I'm... sorry..."

"Well, in that case, I must apologize as well," Akashi said, making Kuroko to look at him in confusion. "What?"

"What are you apologizing for, Sei-kun?" the bluenette asked. "You haven't-"

"-Done anything wrong?" Akashi finished for him. He licked his lower lip as if remembering something. "Anything else you remember, Tetsuya?"

Anything else... Oh.

Seeing realization dawn in the form of a furious blush on the previously pale cheeks of Kuroko, Akashi nodded at him. "Aa. I kissed you back."

"But... I was drunk!"

"And I wasn't," Akashi stated, almost bored, like he was talking to a child who cannot understand anything.

Kuroko faltered. "So...?"

Rolling his eyes to the ceiling, Akashi moved to stand up. Either Kuroko's brain was still muddled from last night's drinks or he was being obtuse on purpose. Oh well. Not like he's going anywhere anytime soon.

Hastily, Kuroko got to his feet, almost tripping again , and dumbly accepted the now lukewarm coffee that Akashi had made for him. He followed Akashi out to the kitchen where he'd probably prepared breakfast as well. The days when the redhead was incapable of doing anything in the kitchen seemed ages ago.

He'd barely swallowed his first sip of his coffee when Akashi, who had his back to him as he rummaged for plates and silverware in Kuroko's cupboards, said wryly, "If you look at it carefully, I was the one who's molesting you." A sputter followed by a loud hacking sound made him turn around and saw one Kuroko Tetsuya choking on his coffee. With an innocent look on his face that made Kuroko glare balefully at him, Akashi's eyes rounded as he calmly bit out, "Oh. My bad."

When Kuroko felt like he was no longer dying, he sighed heavily. "Sei-kun, please remove that look on your face. It does not really suit you."

Setting a plate in front of him, Akashi visibly deflated. "You wound me, Tetsuya."

"Oh please," Kuroko said, piling food on his plate. Akashi had made a very Western breakfast this time. However, he was certain that he did not have bacon in his refrigerator. Mustering the courage to look at the redhead who was already digging into his food, he asked, "Where did you get the bacon?"

He had to bite the inside of his cheek when Akashi looked up from his plate, a strip of bacon hanging from his lips. Swallowing it down hurriedly in a graceful way that only he can execute, Akashi shrugged and replied, "I bought it at the grocery earlier. You don't have anything edible in your fridge, by the way, so I took the liberty of stocking it."

Kuroko nodded, and they both went back to eating. The scene was just so domestic and natural and comfortable that Kuroko felt like all those years that Akashi had left was just a dream. A really, really bad dream that he'd just woken up from. Like he'd come from being a hollow, broken doll into something that' s perfectly whole, like shattered pieces falling to place, like-

"Is something wrong, Tetsuya?"

Kuroko blinked, and realized that he had zoned out. Akashi was already done with his meal and was contently sipping his Earl Gray. His phone was in his other hand - he seemed to be reading an email before he caught him staring blankly into space.

"No, everything's fine," was his hasty reply. Akashi didn't seem convinced but he let it slide in favor of typing a reply to the sender of the email. Kuroko resumed his meal, his thoughts racing. Everything is fine - perfect, in fact. Akashi is back home and right here with him, in his apartment, eating breakfast with him in his dining table. Kuroko is happy, Akashi is happy, so what can possibly go wrong?

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There's this famous saying that says that anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

It has been a peaceful two weeks since Akashi's return, and Kuroko had gotten used to seeing the redhead around, who, for his part, seemed to be hanging out around Kuroko's apartment a lot - so much that Kuroko asked him if for some reason, Akashi had gotten kicked out of his own penthouse, to which Akashi merely shrugged before claiming his rightful place at Kuroko's couch. He'd taken Kuroko to his top-floor suite once, but apparently, he'd already decided that he liked Kuroko's place more and more often than not would head there straight after coming out of work. It didn't took long for him to bring some of his things there - one of the drawers contains nothing but his clothes and in the closet hangs at least one suit of his, while in the bathroom, mingled among Kuroko's cheap toiletries was Akashi's imported brand of shampoo, soap, body wash, and a couple other body products that Kuroko doesn't know what for. His refrigerator was always stocked full as well, leaving no place for his take-out vanilla milkshakes, much to his irritation, though there was a considerable abundance of tofu. He doesn't have to wonder why that is, though he did wonder if Akashi has kitsune blood or under the influence of one given his love of tofu. It would certainly explain a lot if either of the two is true.

Thankfully (or was it regrettably?), there was no more mention of the kiss, and they'd more or less reverted easily back to their normal routine before Akashi left for the States, though they were not always together as both had work - well, Akashi did; Kuroko's doesn't start until next month so he's currently freelancing online, taking an assortment of jobs like data-entry, proofreading students' papers, transcribing recordings and the like. Akashi once let him summarize a bunch of reports for him just for laughs and paid him generously just because he can, despite the bluenette's refusal.

And then the fourth of May arrives, and Momoi invited everyone to the bar where Himuro still part-times once in a while despite being a bartender in a five-star hotel where Murasakibara works as a pastry chef. Being friends with the pinkette since middle school, everyone in the Kiseki no Sedai was present, though Aomine was glaring daggers at her boyfriend every now and then. Takao was present as well, because as a rule, where Midorima goes, he goes. Kagami is there as well, so is Himuro, but this time, he is not behind the counter. Nijimura had come to celebrate Momoi's birthday and to help Aomine in dishing out death glares to the poor man that was currently the love of Momoi's life. Mibuchi and Mayuzumi were there, although the latter was forced to tag along due to the former's insistence, and kami knows how persistent Mibuchi can be. Alex, who had chosen to settle in Japan and was actually the owner of the bar, allowed them to use the establishment exclusively up until the following morning and joined the festivities herself. Apparently, she and Momoi gets along terribly well especially when they were ganging up on poor Riko who was starting to regret accepting the pinkette's invitation.

This time around, Kuroko seemed to be wary of his alcohol consumption, unlike the redhead, who was a bit fast in downing his drinks. Probably the stress catching up to him, Kuroko thought, frowning as Akashi raised his hand once more for another Scotch on the rocks. He remembered the redhead shouting at his phone earlier that afternoon when he got home from a quick trip to the pet store for Nigou's food supply.

And when everyone was considerably tipsy, the birthday girl called them round for a game of Truth or Dare. A classic, but then knowing Momoi and her penchant for information gathering, it was almost expected. Those who were coherent enough gathered on the huge round table brought out especially for this event. Murasakibara, due to his long arms that can easily reach the center of the table, was the unofficial bottle spinner, and to everyone's amusement, it was Aomine who was the first to go.

"Alright, Dai-chan~" Momoi smiled wickedly at her childhood friend. "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare."

"Sore ja," and Aomine didn't quite trust the knowing glint in those petal eyes of hers, "I dare you to kiss the person who was your first love."

Almost everyone's eyes zeroed on Kuroko who looked like he wanted to be nowhere but there, but then Aomine surprised them by simply turning his head and planting his lips on an equally-shocked Kise.

"Sorry, Tetsu," Aomine said playfully when he was done stealing the model's breath away.

Kuroko rolled his eyes, feeling relieved despite knowing who the tanned man was going to choose from the start.

The game continued as the night wore on, getting worse as the people involved got even more wasted. Everyone who chose 'Dare' had to either kiss someone or dance to some stupid cutesy song that kami knows where in the depths of YouTube Momoi had gotten it, while those who chose 'Truth' had to answer totally embarrassing personal questions, revealing information that everyone else can do without, like how Takao once tricked Midorima to be the one on the bottom, how Nijimura once tried seducing Himuro (who blushed and admitted that Nijimura is great at dancing striptease - who then had to give a demo to prove it to them all), how Mibuchi once tried peeking in on Akashi in Rakuzan's shower rooms (Akashi looks horrified and thoroughly scandalized by the revelation; apparently, he'd been totally unaware that such a thing even happened), how Kagami tried to do the same thing to Kuroko during Seirin's first summer camp (a set of rainbow-colored death glares instantly focused on him, making him cower behind Himuro who simply laughed and shared that Murasakibara did the same thing to him and he simply let him), how Kise kissed his captain in high school when they had to share the same bed on their own summer camp (and then Nijimura shared how he saw Kuroko and Akashi almost kissing in their sleep during Teikou's second summer camp) and a lot more things that were better kept secret. Still, Murasakibara kept spinning, until the bottle finally pointed to Akashi, who had been the only one who was not yet chosen.

Until now.

"Truth," Akashi said before Momoi got to ask him, his words crystal clear even though it was obvious that he was just as inebriated as the rest of them, though still having the sense not to do anything that will damage his reputation.

"Eh~" Momoi pouted. "Would you not consider making a dare, 'kashi-kun?"

"Maybe next time," Akashi replied with a smirk that would put Kise's charm to shame.

"Aww... I'll hold you to that..." Momoi said. Then as if to get back at the redhead, she fired this question at Akashi.

"So, Akashi-kun, to whom did you lose your virginity?"

And perhaps, Akashi was more drunk than he thought he was, because he had no difficulty answering it. "Chihiro," he said with a lick of his lips. "We're both drunk then... Don't know why we did it." He turned to the man in question with hazy eyes. "Did you?"

Mayuzumi, equally drunk and lips equally loose like the redhead, shrugged. "Don't know either. Can't remember that one. But the ones that followed, well~"

And then Mibuchi gasped from beside Mayuzumi. "It's not a one-time thing?"

"No, it's not," Mayuzumi managed to say before his face fell to table with a thud, completely washed-out.

"How many times after the first one, Sei-chan?" Mibuchi asked the redhead, who merely smirked to Mibuchi's frustration.

"Not telling~ Murasakibara, spin the bottle please~"

Murasakibara, ever compliant to the redhead, did as he was asked, and the game resumed until one by one, the participants dropped down until it was only Kuroko who remained conscious, with his arms full of a sleeping Akashi Seijuurou.

"Sei-kun," Kuroko poked his cheek relentlessly in an attempt to wake him up and get the two of them in a more comfortable position. "A-ka-shi Sei-juu-rou. Wake. Up."

A muffled reply was heard five minutes later. "...'msleeping..."

"Interesting. I never knew that people can talk while asleep."

"...'scalled...sleeptalking...idiot..."

Kuroko almost laughed out loud at that. Now, I'm the idiot? He looked down at the redhead who had made him his personal leaning post and sighed. Suddenly, an idea struck him. Not a really good one, though, but he's feeling a bit squiffy himself, plus it's kinda funny hearing the redhead talking like this. So-

"Ne, Sei-kun..."

"...What..?"

"How many times have you done it with Mayuzumi-san?"

The silence that followed had Kuroko thinking that Akashi had fallen asleep for real this time, or he's not that drunk to not realize that Kuroko was snooping on his private life. However, more than seven minutes later, the redhead shifted a little and murmured just loud enough for him to hear.

"...dunno...lot'satimes..."

"Why Mayuzumi-san?"

A shorter pause this time. "...cause...he'sthere..."

"Do you like him?"

"...who?"

Kuroko swallowed, unsure if he should continue this line of questioning. His stomach was already churning upon hearing Akashi's admittance that he'd been doing it with Mayuzumi more than once. Still, he felt like he should know.

"Mayuzumi-san. Do you like him?"

A groan. "...notreally..."

"Then why did you slept with him?"

Akashi took three minutes to reply to this one."...don'tknow...feltgood..."

Kuroko felt his cheeks burn as his mind tried to imagine the redhead in the throes of pleasure and frowned. How would Akashi look like when he comes? And why the heck was he thinking about that?

He pulled his brain out of the gutter and asked one last question. "Are you still sleeping with him?"

"...Nn." Kuroko frowned deeper this time.

Was that a no or a yes?

However, when he repeated the question, Akashi did not answer this time, leaving Kuroko to decide what he meant to say when he made that sound.

Feeling terrible and bitter, perhaps Kuroko shouldn't have asked him all those questions.

Not a good idea.

At all.

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Two days later, Akashi found himself looking at Nigou's blue eyes that eerily matched his owner's. Scratching the head of the fully grown malamute, he said, "Your master's avoiding me. Would you have an inkling why he decided to play hide-and-seek with me?"

Nigou tried to lick Akashi's hand then woofed loudly, jerking his head to a random direction. It was Saturday, and Akashi mostly had weekends off. Normally he would be spending it in Kuroko's apartment, but he'd rather find the bluenette first. Seeing how Nigou was straining against his leash, he sighed in disbelief at what he was going to do.

"Alright, since you seem to have an idea," he said, releasing the dog from its chain. "Show me where Tetsuya is."

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Kuroko was sitting in the small wooden gazebo built out over the artificial pond in a secluded area of the park, looking out over the water like some sort of a guardian deity. The first time he'd been here was back in middle school. After the nightmare that was the finals match against Meiko in his last Nationals Tournament, Kuroko had stumbled upon this place when he was finding for someplace to cry his heart out and scream his frustrations at what had happened to him, to his team, and to his friend, Ogiwara. In his last days in Teikou, he'd head out here instead of going straight back home, spending an hour or two to reflect or meditate or to simply stare at the lilies floating in the water. It calmed him down a lot, and it was such a good place to think things over, that's why, when faced with his feelings for a certain redhead, Kuroko already knows where to go.

And no, he's not running away.

He needs to think, and he can hardly do that when the redhead is breathing down his neck.

And so he thinks. He thinks of all the years that Akashi cut him off without a single call or a message, how lost he felt, how betrayed, how lonely, how sad, how confused, how afraid he'd make him feel back then. Then he comes back with a gift and a phone call that hinted his relationship with Mayuzumi who with a stroke of luck, managed to be on the same place with the redhead, and Kuroko would have given anything just to trade places with him. And then he realizes that it was his fault for getting jealous of the other phantom's proximity with the redhead that Kuroko pushed Akashi away after dropping his drunk confession on him and then refusing to talk about it afterwards. Old insecurities of not being enough came back to haunt him, making him doubt his worth, his right to stay at Akashi's side, and in protecting himself, he'd ended up hurting Akashi instead, who'd been doing his best to reach out to him, going as far as to inconvenience his former teammates just because Kuroko just wouldn't talk to him. He'd hurt him enough to make him draw up his own walls, making him route all of Kuroko's calls to voice mails so that he can choose whether or not to listen to him.

And all the while, Mayuzumi was there, watching, listening.

Did Akashi really finds it comforting being in Mayuzumi's arms?

Mayuzumi Chihiro. The first time they met was not on the best of terms, and they never did get the chance to be properly acquainted with each other. They're barely friends, only sharing a mutual friend in Akashi. Takao's words during Seirin's first match against Shutoku echoed in his ears, something about hating those that resembles yourself. Kuroko was the original phantom sixth man, Mayuzumi was the newer version, the better version. Kuroko hated him then, his replacement, because he could do things Kuroko couldn't-

But you defeated him, right? A voice in his head told him. Yes, he could score normally, but you had the Phantom Shot perfected now. And he doesn't have any of your Vanishing Drive or Quasi-Emperor Eye either.

But Kuroko does not care about basketball. What he cares about is the fact that Akashi had chosen to seek refuge in Mayuzumi's arms instead of him. Akashi had told him without hesitation that he'd felt pressured in his studies overseas and had feared unleashing the Emperor if ever he reaches his breaking point once more. He had been afraid of hurting his friends in case it ever happened, but he doesn't seem to be worried that much about Mayuzumi getting hurt. So why was that?

Are they lovers? That doesn't explain why Akashi was always at his place, though. Suddenly, he remembered the conversation he had with the redhead on his bedroom floor.

"Aa. I kissed you back."

"But... I was drunk!"

"And I wasn't."

"So...?"

Does that mean that Akashi liked it enough to return the favor? Or was he just-

"Ugh," Kuroko groaned.

"Another hangover, Tetsuya?"

Kuroko whipped his head around and saw Akashi, standing at the entrance of the gazebo, his arms crossed in front of him.

"What-How did you get here?" he asked, trying to steady his breathing.

Akashi shrugged and walked towards him, stopping when he was right in front of him. Kuroko jumped when Akashi slammed his hands o either side of his head, grabbing the wooden railings behind him. "So are we done playing now?"

"P-playing?"

"Hide-and-seek." Kuroko drew his chin back when Akashi dared to lean closer. "That's what we're playing, right?"

"I-I'm not hiding from Sei-kun."

"Really? Then why are you holed up in here for the past two days? Forgot your way back?"

"That's not-!"

Akashi then pulled away and settled himself next to Kuroko, who dared to glance sideways at him. The redhead looked lighter, more relaxed and carefree this days, and Kuroko's not sure why.

"Why are you here?" Akashi asked, not looking at him.

"I came here to think. I-" and trailed off when he spotted a familiar dog who was lapping up water on the edge of the pond. "Nigou!" He called aloud, and sure enough, the dog raised his head at his master's voice before bounding up happily to join them in the gazebo. Turning to a smirking Akashi, Kuroko said in an accusing tone, "I see. That's how you found me."

Akashi laughed. "It's not my fault that you kept him chained inside. You should have brought him with you." He reached down and patted Nigou's head, "Good boy."

Kuroko smiled at the two of them. Despite Akashi's initial dislike for dogs, he and Nigou got along quickly. When he was still a puppy, Nigou likes to sleep on Akashi's chest like some sort of a cat, and when he got bigger, he settled to the floor right beside the couch, within easy reach of the redhead who was always generous when it comes to scratching Nigou behind the ears. Akashi also likes buying Nigou treats whenever he passes by the pet store, reminding Kuroko of an uncle spoiling his nephew.

"What were you thinking about?" Akashi's voice brought him back to the present. "It doesn't seem good, hearing how you were moaning about it."

Kuroko sighed. "It's not really that bad. I just don't know what I am going to do about it."

"Oh? Perhaps I can help?" Akashi offered, and his tone was so sincere that Kuroko dreaded saying no.

"I-It's not something you can help me with, Sei-kun."

"I see."

"It's fine, Sei-kun. I can handle this."

Akashi stared at him for a long time before finally letting out a breath of resignation. "If you say so, Tetsuya."

For a long time, they sat there in total silence, with Nigou looking at Akashi, and then to Kuroko, and back again. When they did not pay him any attention, the dog lowered his ears in disappointment before going out of the gazebo. Maybe he can catch something in the pond if he tried hard enough.

"Would you like to go back, Sei-kun?" Kuroko finally said. He could no longer ponder over matters since Akashi was right here, so they might as well return to the apartment. It's nearing lunch, anyway.

"Not yet. I actually wanted to ask you something."

Kuroko watched as the redhead took a shiny black device from his pocket and showed it to him. It was a small recorder.

"I found this taped under the table during Momoi's birthday," Akashi began, turning the device over in his hands. "She must have planted them for the game Truth or Dare since she won't be able to write down our answers during the game itself." He then pressed on the Play Button and Kuroko realized that it was his voice that he was hearing on record.

"A-ka-shi Sei-juu-rou. Wake. Up."

"...'msleeping..."

"Interesting. I never knew that people can talk while asleep."

"...'scalled...sleeptalking...idiot..."

"Ne, Sei-kun..."

"...What..?"

"How many times have you done it with Mayuzumi-san?"

"...dunno...lot'satimes..."

"Why Mayuzumi-san?"

"...cause...he'sthere..."

"Do you like him?"

"...who?"

"Mayuzumi-san. Do you like him?"

And that's where Akashi hit the Pause button to look up at Kuroko, an unreadable expression on his face. "Anything to say, Tetsuya?"

What to say? "I didn't mean to pry, Sei-kun. I got curious so I thought I'd ask you..."

Akashi raised an eyebrow at that. "While I was drunk?"

Kuroko gulped nervously. "Ah... Well..." His mind raced as he tried to think up of a suitable explanation for his actions, but nothing seemed forthcoming. And that's when Akashi flicked him none too gently on the nose, effectively breaking his concentration.

"Are you all right?" he asked, amusement laced in his voice. "Your eyes are crossing."

Kuroko glared at him halfheartedly. "They're not." He rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry."

Akashi waved off his apology and instead, asked him, "Why, Tetsuya?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you need to know if I like Chihiro or not."

Kuroko sat, frozen. "Because..."

"Do you like me, Tetsuya?"

Kuroko's heart slammed in his throat. "Wha-Why would you-?"

But Akashi merely narrowed his ruby eyes at him and added, "Is that why you kissed me?"

"No! I was drunk that time! It does not count!"

It was clear that Akashi was not buying it. "I was there, too, remember? I don't think the kiss happened just because your brain is muddled with alcohol."

"But-"

"If it was Aomine, would you kiss him?"

The sudden question threw him off and Kuroko shook his head furiously. "Of course not! I'd probably shove his face away if he tried-"

He stopped as Akashi's lips curved up in a satisfied grin. "In vino veritas, Tetsuya. Remember when you told me you loved me?"

Kuroko stood up. Unable to meet his eyes, he fixed his gaze on his mop of red hair instead. "Seijuurou," he said, using his full name without honorifics, "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Because you're lying to me. And you're lying to yourself."

Something inside Kuroko broke, and words came pouring out. "What do you want me to tell you? The truth? The truth is that I love you since the day I met you but you never seemed to notice and would not even believe even when I told you that I love you! Now it wouldn't even matter since you have someone else already so why am I even telling this all to you?" His last words came out as a sort of a wail despite his efforts in controlling himself. And if he had been looking, he would have seen the flabbergasted look on the redhead's face as he spilled his heart out to him.

"Tetsuya..."

Akashi's voice sounded so miserable. Kuroko scrambled to regain his composure and sat back down. "Sei-kun, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No, no, don't be sorry," Akashi said in a hushed voice. He lifted a hand to cup Kuroko's face and angled it towards him so that he can look into his eyes, where pain and sorrow were reflected in them. "That long... And I never knew..." he breathed almost regrettably.

Oh, but he knew. Sometimes he'd catch the bluenette looking at him when he thought he wasn't, catch glimpses of the feelings he'd tried so hard to conceal from him. It was easier to ignore them, and easier to ignore his own growing affection for the bluenette because Akashi had always thought that he didn't deserve more than being a friend to Kuroko after everything that he had done to him, things that were unforgivable in his eyes.

"It's alright, Sei-kun," Kuroko said, covering Akashi's hand with his. "It's not fair of me to say all those things. Besides, you have Mayuzumi-san-"

"Chihiro has no part in this," Akashi said and dropped his hand away from Kuroko's face. Still holding Kuroko's hand, he added firmly, "There is nothing going on between Chihiro and I."

"But you were sleeping with him," Kuroko argued, even though a part of him was elated at Akashi's revelation.

"I slept with him, yes, but that's all in the past now," Akashi said, trying his best to make Kuroko understand that whatever that had happened between him and Chihiro has no meaning whatsoever. "Chihiro and I were never in a relationship."

"Yet you-"

"It's only for physical release. Just sex, and nothing more. Chihiro is aware of that; we were clear on that part."

It was a lot to take in, and Kuroko's mind reeled. "So, you don't...like him?"

Akashi sighed. "Of course I like him," he said, and laughed when Kuroko tried to jerk his hand away from. "As a friend," he clarified, but Kuroko was still frowning.

"But am I not your friend as well?" Kuroko sulked.

"Are you insinuating that we should do the same things that Chihiro and I did?"

Blue eyes widened comically as he tried pulling his hand from Akashi's grip. "What- NO!" he yelled as Akashi collapsed into him in a chuckling fit, his forehead leaning on Kuroko's shoulder. Kuroko glared at him and huffed, "Can't you be serious about this?"

"I am serious," Akashi said as he rearranged himself, laying his head on Kuroko's lap, the rest of his body stretched out on the wooden seat. Kuroko looked up and exhaled as if asking patience from whoever up there was listening while Akashi continued talking. "Ne, Tetsuya..."

"What is it?"

"I love you," Akashi said quietly, all trace of mirth gone. Kuroko gaped at him in disbelief, not quite sure if he had heard him right. Akashi looked at him in understanding and nodded sadly. "I know. I understand if you find it hard to believe. But it's true." He reached out to caress the curve of Kuroko's jaw, his touch light as a feather. Kuroko shivered and he lowered his hand where it rest above his heart.

"Why?" Kuroko's shaky whisper cut through the stillness.

"I always knew you were special," Akashi said with a serene smile that touched Kuroko deeply. "When we traded places, I knew that you will be the one to change me back. And you did. You made me a better person. You make me happy. When I'm with you like this, I feel like myself. Not the heir, not the captain, not the student president... Just me. You're presence is soothing, calming. It felt like... It felt like home." Akashi's gaze locked with Kuroko's astonished one. "And I love you for that. But I don't know if I deserve this," he gestured at the two of them. "Sometimes I wonder if you hated me for the past. Surely you did?"

Kuroko lowered his eyes to him. Akashi looked so vulnerable right now, the way his eyes seemed to suddenly lose its sharpness, resembling that of a lost child. "I could never hate you, Sei-kun. I could get mad at you, or annoyed, or frustrated, but never that. I never did." Gently, he brushed the hair on Akashi's forehead.

Akashi was staring with wonder in his eyes. Letting out a soft snort of fond exasperation, he said, "And you ask me why. There was only one person that I want, Tetsuya. And it's you."

"Well, it took you this long to admit it," Kuroko pointed out, poking the redhead in the middle of the forehead twice.

"At least I'm not drunk when I said it," Akashi shot back proudly. Suddenly, he sat up and beckoned Kuroko to move closer. Kuroko obliged and found himself in Akashi's lap, with Akashi's lips pressing against his own. It was a chaste kiss, sweet and gentle, yet he could feel his heart hammering in his chest like he'd just ran a marathon. He could almost sense the other boy's reluctance as he pulled away, tipping his head back to look at her with those beautiful crimson eyes. Akashi touched his face with his fingertips, delicately running them over the planes of his cheekbones, down to the curve of his mouth.

And ruined the perfectly romantic atmosphere by opening his mouth.

"And I kiss people I like when I am sober."

Kuroko shoved himself off Akashi's lap with an annoyed glare. "Yeah, and what was that about losing your virginity to Mayuzumi-san? You said both of you were drunk."

It was one of those rare instances that Akashi looked unsettled. However, he recovered nicely and instead, avoided the issue at hand by getting Kuroko flustered. "Ah, that reminds me... To whom did you lose yours, Tet-su-ya?"

Kuroko blushed furiously as he tried to escape the hand that was keeping him in place. "No one!"

"Heh, still a virgin, then?" Akashi chuckled, internally pleased at the information. He'd almost thought that perhaps Aomine or Kagami had taken a pass at the bluenette. Happily, that was not the case. "Saving yourself for someone?"

"You don't have to be so smug about it," Kuroko hissed. Akashi can be so merciless when it comes to teasing.

"Well, that can be easily rectified," Akashi murmured suggestively, and Kuroko shot up to his feet, almost hitting Akashi in the process and bolted out of the gazebo.

"Nigou! Let's go!"

Getting to his feet, Akashi had to jog a bit to catch up with them. "Someone's excited, I see..."

"Who's excited?" Kuroko mumbled, looking at anywhere but Akashi. "I just want to go home."

Home. The word made Akashi smile. He reached down and took Kuroko's hand in his.

"Aa. Kaerou."

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And we're finished! Quite long, isn't it? Ah, but I've had a lot of fun writing this one... And dear Amanozako-hime was laughing so much over the phone while she was reading the finished version to me... Good times...

Anyway, reviews, reviews, reviews! Arigatou, minna!