At a table set in the shadows to one side, the Jedi sat quietly, almost invisibly. Padmé gravitated towards him instinctively and sat down, slipping into the shadows beside him.
"Senator." Obi-Wan was tired, she noticed, as he greeted her formally. His eyes glittered midnight blue but he wore a heavy frown.
As was their custom, they spoke of politics, and of war. Of serious matters. A justification for meeting like this. They talked, as always, freely and openly. At least up to a point. Below the surface there were unmentioned feelings, emotions and longings, which, as if by mutual consent, remained hidden.
After a while, the conversation dwindled and they fell silent. Obi-Wan watched Padmé fiddle with a glossy ringlet which had fallen loose from the hood of her thick purple gown.
Force, if she doesn't get more beautiful every time I see her, he thought. The very sight alone was usually enough to lift his spirits. That evening though, he was overwhelmed by a distinct sense of foreboding.
The Force told him that tonight would be the last time the two of them would meet like this. Beyond that, the future was murky, unseen, dark. Perhaps the next battle would be his last. He was not afraid to die, only to leave behind... He froze the thought and squashed it swiftly and instinctively, as he always did, before it took him any further.
Somewhere in the club, someone started playing a musical instrument. The Noobian piano, he realised as Padmé smiled, recognising the music of her home world. The sound was sweet and light, and brought back memories of happier times. Impulsively, Obi-Wan stood, taking Padmé's hand and gently pulling her to her feet.
"Obi-Wan! What are you doing?" She protested in a loud whisper, "someone might see."
"There is no one here," he responded calmly, still holding her hand, "and anyway, even if there was, surely there's nothing controversial about dancing with an old friend?"
She shook her head with a small smile of concession. He pulled her towards him, placing one hand at her waist, the other gently clasping hers. The truth was, in fact, that he didn't care if they were seen. Right now he needed an excuse to touch her. Padmé looked down, avoiding his eyes, the contact triggering emotions she didn't want to feel.
Gradually, they began to sway together to the soothing music. Padmé leant instinctively to rest her forehead his bearded cheek. Just for a second she allowed herself the fantasy that they were simply here, together, as two people in love. No Jedi, no Senate, no war, no secrets. The fantasy that tonight, he would stay with her, and in the morning he would not leave.
The soft tones of the music changed to the steady chords of a familiar song, and a soulful female voice started to sing. It was a simple, happy, love song but tonight it was sung slowly and wistfully, the words resonating with a sadness only two people in the room could really understand.
I don't know what it is that makes me love you so
I only know I never want to let you go
'Cause you started something, can't you see
That ever since we met you've had a hold on me
It happens to be true
I only want to be with you
Tears welled in Padmé's eyes as the words took her back to Naboo, all those years ago. The balmy summer evenings that following sun-bleached days. The giggling of her handmaidens as she dared to ask the serious young Jedi to dance. How young she was then. So idealistic and romantic. Padmé closed her eyes, trying to hold in the tears as she remembered the feeling of falling in love with Obi-Wan for the first time. Her kind, brave, gentle, Padawan Obi-Wan.
It doesn't matter where you go or what you do
I want to spend each moment of the day with you
Look what has happened with just one kiss
I never knew that I could be in love like this
It's crazy but it's true
I only want to be with you
Obi-Wan felt Padmé's breath hitch as her silent tears started to fall. He understood exactly why she was crying, because the same memories flooded back to him too. Youth and innocence, both lost now. Optimism and hope, gone, to be replaced by cynicism and fear. Two souls finding each other, only to be lost again. Everything that could have been, but never was.
He held her a little closer, breathing in the fragrant scent of her hair and sliding his arm around her waist. He wondered what it would have been like if he had let himself love her, properly. He had been tempted, compelled, almost, to give up everything to be with her.
You stopped and smiled at me, asked me if I'd care to dance
I fell into your open arms and I didn't stand a chance
Now listen honey, I just want to be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together honey I don't care
'Cause you started something, can't you see
That ever since we've met you've had a hold on me
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you
As the song came to an end, Padmé thoughts turned to their last night together on Naboo. The kiss that had ended, agonisingly, with him pushing her away. She would never forget the look in his eyes. In an instant she had known he loved her, but that what was between them was about to end.
She had long since come to terms with the fact that he would never leave the Jedi Order for her, and that there would be no compromises, no secret affair. He was Obi-Wan, it wasn't in his character, and that was just part of why she loved him.
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you
Padmé looked up at him, smiling sadly through her tears. Obi-Wan brushed her cheek gently and then wrapped both arms around her, holding her close in a way that he had not done for almost thirteen years. Nothing in his life had ever felt as right. He placed a soft kiss into her hair and tried to absorb the sensation of her in his arms, locking away the memory for whatever darkness lay ahead.
Held securely in her love's embrace, Padmé heard him speak. His voice was a whisper, so quiet it was barely audible.
No matter what happens, Padmé, I will always be with you. Always.
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(A/N The song quoted is"I only want to be with you" by Vonda Shepard)
