Hello, this is Muffin the Imaginary Penguin. I do not own any of the characters or Black Butler in general. I wrote this one-shot as a back story for Sebastian in my multi-chap, Welcome to Stockholm. I hope you enjoy it.
He was beautiful. He had black hair almost to his shoulders, golden eyes, and glasses that always looked as though they were going to fall off his nose. Sebastian first saw him in a random grocery store; he was trying to find the snack aisle, just wandering around. The beautiful man had accidentally bumped into him with his cart.
The golden-eyed man looked up from his shopping list and smiled at him. He set down the piece of notebook paper and signed out "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention," thoroughly confusing Sebastian. The man got a pen out of his pocket and wrote something on the back of the list and handed to him. "I'm sorry for bumping into you."
"It's alright. No harm done." Sebastian smiled back at him, still curious to why he wouldn't talk.
"My name is Claude. What about you?" He wrote down, letting Sebastian see it.
"Sebastian. If I may ask, why are you writing this instead of saying it?" Claude blushed lightly and wrote his answer down.
"I'm a mute."
They had exchanged phone numbers, even though it was silently acknowledged that they would text instead of calling each other. Sebastian would take any opportunity to get to know him, he was too gorgeous to just let slip through his fingers.
Claude and Sebastian texted all night, as well as all of the next day, and the day after that. They didn't see each other for another week, with conflicting schedules and schoolwork. The two guys met up in a local coffee shop, neither could think of anything better, with one of them not being able to contribute much to an audible conversation.
That day was surprisingly one of the happiest days of Sebastian's life so far. Claude had taught him the basics of sign language, mostly greetings and how to sign his and Claude's name. When Sebastian got home that day, he thought about all he had learned about Claude, and how he didn't let being a mute keep him from getting to know somebody and being happy.
He thought about how Claude also loved classical music and art, and that he had a pet tarantula named Allie. Claude said he could come over to his house to meet her, but Sebastian politely declined, never being fond of spiders. His favourite color was royal blue. Claude was a sweet person, if not more serious than he should have been at times. He treated Sebastian for his coffee, but ordered tea for himself. He wanted to be a photographer when he got out of college, or a gallery curator. He wanted a career where he could live his life happily surrounded by art.
"Who has you smiling so wide? You go out to the coffee shop and you come back with the 'I'm in love' smile." His roommate, Finny told him, looking up from his botany homework.
"You have no room to talk, running around with that culinary dropout." Sebastian replied jokingly. Bard had graduated from high school with a scholarship to one of the best culinary schools in the country, only to drop out because he wasn't close enough to his boyfriend.
Finny stuck his tongue out and went back to working. "I just hope you'll be happy with him."
"I am." Sebastian went back to thinking about Claude before falling asleep.
They hung out a few more times in the next couple of weeks, before they went out one night that they were both scared to call a date.
After ordering dinner, Claude's face turned a light pink and stared at the basket of bread in the middle of the table. "Will you be my boyfriend?" He wrote down on the small notebook he always carried around with him, and became more nervous as Sebastian read it silently. Sebastian reached across the table to lace his fingers with Claude's and gave a small smile, staring at the bread basket as well.
He finally looked up at Claude after a few moments and nodded, making him smile wide. They were happy together, and in love, though neither of them knew it yet.
Claude and Sebastian were happily together for six months, they now knew that they were truly in love with each other, but they were too afraid to tell the other. It was the day before Valentine's Day, and they were lying in Claude's bed, listening to music and talking. Over the months together, Sebastian was almost as fluent in sign language as Claude was, so that he wouldn't have to carry around the notebook wherever he went.
"Claude? I need to tell you something." Sebastian signed, sitting against the headboard while Claude was sitting in the middle of his bed with his legs crossed like elementary kids sat. He looked up at Sebastian and nodded for him to continue. "I love you." Sebastian started blushing as Claude grinned and kissed him.
"I love you too, Sebastian." Claude signed and kissed him again.
The kiss became more heated and clothes were discarded to the floor. It was the best Valentine's Day either of them had ever experienced.
They lost their virginities that night, and agreed to move in together, so they wouldn't bother Finny or Thomson, Claude's roommate. Bard became Finny's new roommate and Thomson's triplet brothers Timber and Canterbury joined him.
They should have realized that happy endings are just stories that haven't ended yet.
On August 14, on their first anniversary, there was an accident. A drunk driver sped down the road outside of the apartment complex they were living in, late at night. Sebastian was coming home after a class that ran late and having to pick up Claude's anniversary present. He walked across the street without thinking to look.
If he had stepped off the curb a few seconds later, the present wouldn't have been ruined and he wouldn't have been hit in the side, making him hit the back of his head on the pavement. The driver wouldn't have committed a hit-and-run.
Sebastian was rushed to the hospital by an older woman that had seen the whole thing. Claude sped to the hospital an hour later when the doctor called the person that was listed as Sebastian's emergency contact. He wasn't able to respond, but he texted the doctor with shaking fingers that he would be right there.
Sebastian was rushed to the operating room because of the internal bleeding and a couple of his ribs breaking. The surgery happened without complications and the victim stayed in the hospital for another week and a half.
"Are you Claude Faustus?" Doctor Red asked the man sitting next to Sebastian's bed while he slept. Claude nodded and the doctor gestured for him to follow her.
"There is something I need to inform you of. The psychologist that talked to Mr. Michaelis told me of a very unfortunate, but real possibility." Doctor Red sat down and Claude sat down in the chair across from her.
"The impact of Sebastian's head very luckily only caused minimal memory loss. But the trauma caused to his brain caused the opportunity for a mental disorder to develop. In this case, it is very likely for him to develop Dissociative Personality Disorder, or a similar disorder."
"Are you serious? He hasn't acted any different so far." Claude wrote down on a sheet of paper the doctor handed to him.
"Sometimes symptoms take a longer time to show, or maybe there just hasn't been anything to trigger it. But if he does have a disorder like that, they often bring out violent tendencies in the separate mentalities." The doctor told him, trying to be gentle about it to the distraught man.
"Is there any way to tell if he has it or not?" Claude wrote to her. He loved Sebastian more than anything, but he didn't want to be put in danger or anything like that.
"I'm sorry, but we can't tell definitely unless symptoms begin showing. Just spend time with him, and be aware of what you do. Anything could trigger it." Doctor red told him before he left the office. Claude slowly walked back to Sebastian's room and thought about what the doctor said.
Be careful with what I do. I can do that. He thought, sitting down next to Sebastian's bed.
"Hey babe. What did the doctor want?" Sebastian asked happily from where he was laying on the bed. Claude swallowed nervously and looked everywhere except his boyfriend.
"Just to ask me something about…your allergies." He signed with shaking hands. He sighed in relief quietly when he saw Sebastian smile.
"Why are you lying to me? I thought you loved me." Sebastian told him, still smiling, but the happiness had faded from his eyes, replaced by anger.
"I'm not lying to you." Claude signed, becoming very nervous again.
"Yes you are. Why won't you speak up? Stand up for yourself for once in your life, you spineless moron." Sebastian replied, his voice coated with venom. He didn't mean it. He didn't mean it. He's just sick. He'll get better. Claude thought to himself, looking down at his hands.
"I'm not lying, Sebastian." Claude signed again, not looking up at him.
"You're lying again, Claude. Why are you lying to me so much? Don't you love me? Or was that a lie too."
"I love you more than anything, Sebastian! Trust me, I do." Claude was afraid of what could happen. He could hear his heart pounding. Sebastian wasn't himself.
"You lied to me. You probably lied about everything. I bet you aren't even a mute, you just told me that for attention. You don't love me. You only said those things because you're just a sympathy whore. Get out of my sight." Sebastian practically spat the words at Claude, who was close to tears.
"If you feel that way, then I'm sorry for staying so long." He signed before standing up. "I love you, but I can't be around you like this. I'll get my stuff out of the apartment tomorrow." He walked calmly out the door before collapsing in one of the chairs in the hallway, silently crying.
"Claude? What's wrong? I thought you were talking to Sebastian." Doctor Red sat next to him and handed him a tissue. Claude wiped his eyes and stood up.
"We broke up." He signed back, before walking away. He went back to the apartment and got out the boxes he used when he moved in. Sebastian had drawn little cartoon cats all over them with Sharpie. Claude smiled sadly and sat down on their bed, looking around the room. So much of the stuff he considered theirs at this point, not Sebastian's and Claude's.
He started packing up, not having a lot of time to get them out of the apartment. When he was done he sat on the faded couch in the living room and remembered all the memories that he was leaving behind. He got out the old notebook he didn't need to use anymore and a pen.
Dear Sebastian,
It hurts to say this, but I would rather be away from you than with you while you're angry. I like to think that you don't mean the things you said, but that doesn't change the fact that you did say them. I hope you find somebody that can make you happier than you made me, but I don't think that's entirely possible. I love you, Sebastian, and I always will.
I hope you remember these things when I'm gone, but I'll feel better knowing that I reminded you.
-Turn the lights off when you leave the apartment. If you don't, your bills will be really expensive, and you don't have a job.
-Remember your keys and phone when you leave. You shouldn't have to call the landlord every day.
-Lastly, remember to do the laundry at least once every two weeks. You may think that you did it yourself, but I did the laundry for you every time.
I love you. I would say I wish we could see each other again, or get back together, but I don't know what would happen then.
Goodbye, Claude.
He sat the notebook on the coffee table along with his keys and started carrying the boxes to his car.
He drove back to the triplet's apartment, hoping they had room for the heartbroken college student.
True to his word, by the time Sebastian was discharged a day later, all of his stuff was gone. The apartment felt empty and cold without the sound of classical music coming from the kitchen while Claude made dinner or the sound of him tap dancing a little too well for not going to a lesson in the living room.
He regretted every word he said as soon as they left his mouth, but he couldn't take them back. It was too late for second chances.
Sebastian collapsed on the couch in the living room, not knowing what to do anymore. He saw the notebook on the table in front of him. He hasn't touched that notebook in months, he doesn't need too. He picked up the notebook and read what his ex-boyfriend had written, tears clouding his eyesight and spilling down his cheeks.
Claude truly was gone.
Sebastian took longer than he wanted growing used to being alone again. He moved out of the apartment, not being able to live in the rooms that were dripping in happy memories of him and Claude. He moved into the large house in the middle of the local forest that his parents left to him and surrounded himself by his art, savoring being alone.
He was happy again. He spent time with Finny and Bard, and didn't know they were the only two people that could tell his smiles were a little too forced. Sebastian should have realized that happy endings are stories that haven't ended yet.