Super Mario Vs Sonic the Hedgehog
Chapter 1: First Contact
One day at Mushroom Hill Zone Sonic was running around at his usual blistering pace. Then Tails appears from the sky spinning his irregular two tail in flight chasing after Sega's mascot.
"Tails who said you could follow me?" Asked Sonic annoyed by the fox.
"No one did." Said the two tailed freakshow. "I just want hang out with you Sonic."
"I work alone so split!"
"Not a chance!"
Tails doggedly pursues Sonic much to Sonic's fustration, Sonic eventually finds the arched tree and runs through it causing Tails to crash on the bark above the hollow area and he fell to the floor dazed.
"Ha ha! What a retard!" Sonic laughs.
Suddenly Sonic sees an unfamiliar face in the distance. A fat moustached midget in overalls and a red cap bumbling around the forest picking up mushrooms and chomping them down like they were popcorn. Sonic didn't have the foggiest who he was but he knew he hated him with all his heart. Sonic asked himself "Who the fuck is that!?" Sonic then approached the mysterious magie addict.
"Hey shroom head! Who the fuck are you?" Sonic asks the stranger.
The fatty replies "Man I really gotta get off these shrooms, I'm starting to see talking animals and shit!"
"That ain't the shrooms, bud! Now better get out of my turf or I'm gonna introduce my foot to your ass!"
The tubby man kneels over and threw up. Sonic's power sneakers were caked in vomit.
"Big mistake asshole!" Said Sonic pissed off immensely. Sonic crouched and started spindashing, the portly guy jumps out the way before Sonic shot off rolling at a blistering speed.
"Hey paisano! Don't you know who I am? I'm Super Mario!"
"Super Mario, huh!? You sure move fast for someone that looks like he shoves pasta down his throat every day." Sonic taunted. "Better question is, do you know who I am?"
Mario squints his eyes to take a good look at Sonic. He's too fucked on magic mushrooms to see clearly. "Are you Megaman's long lost brother?" Mario replied.
"I'm Sonic the fucking Hedgehog and you hit my bad side already. Just what's so special about you anyway other than special needs?"
Mario pulls a flower from his overalls, and causes his clothes to change colour from red and blue to red and white.
"Heh, your clothes changes colour, is that it?" scoffs Sonic.
Mario suddenly blasts fire from his hands like Ryu, Sonic got hit by the fire ball, knocking him over and his rings scattered all over the place. Knowing the next hit will be decisive he focuses on nimbly dodging the fireballs.
Sonic then finds a fire shield monitor. "Ah just what I need!" Sonic spin jumps the monitor and is surrounded by a fiery red force field. Mario continues to throw fireballs at Sonic but they bounce off. In the comfort of the flame shield Sonic raises his two middle fingers at the fire flinging Italian.
"What's the matter, Danny Devito? No balls left?" Sonic taunted. He then spin jumps into the air and suddenly hurdles himself at Mario. Mario shrunk when he was hit then he put his hands down his dungarees and started rummaging inside the crotch area.
Sonic turned his head put his hands over the side of his face. "Nasty! I know we all have urges to jerk off in public but control yourself!"
"Oh yeah just what I needed!" Said Mario removing his hands from down his dungarees, he brought out a feather and he magically regrew and sported a yellow cape.
"Ha ha! Wearing that blanket around your neck makes you look like you got even more problems!" Said Sonic preparing for a second attack. He jumps into the air for a second strike but Mario started spinning and whacked Sonic in mid flight with the cape sending him to the floor again and somehow deactivating his shield.
"Did I just get my ass handed to me by a fucking blanket?" Said Sonic getting back up.
Mario started running around in a circle with his arms stretched and then he took off soaring high into the air, Sonic tries to spin jump at him at him again but he couldn't jump high enough. Mario plummets to the ground and caused an earthquake making Sonic fall on his ass again.
"Forget this, I'm going to Sonic for a chilli dog!" Sonic fled from the fight at all due speed.
"Well that fight built up an appetite for more shrooms!" Said Mario in victory.
Later at the Sonic joint. Sonic sits on the pavement because he can't afford a chilli dog after losing most of his rings. "Got any spare rings? Seriously help a brother out!" Sonic starts harassing the passerbys for spare rings like a hobo in desperation.
"Hey Sonic!" Said a familiar voice.
"Oh shit it's Tails!" Sonic said under his breath.
"I thought you'd be here but why are you out here and not in there eating a pile of chilli dogs?"
"None of your business! Hey, by the way do you have do ya have any spare rings?"
Tails handed Sonic his spare rings from behind his back, Sonic snagged the rings off of his hands. "Thanks, "pal!" Sonic said in a sarcastic tone. "Y'know Tails. I've been thinkin'... Maybe, just maybe this time I need your help just a little bit!"
"Wow you mean it?" Tails suddenly lights up.
"Keep it down, I don't wanna be heard having this conversation with you!"
"Sorry. What seems to be the trouble?"
"Some midget porn star muscled in on my turf, didn't look strong but I'll give credit when credits due. He is one tough SOB."
Meanwhile in Brooklyn at the Super Mario Bros. Plumbing Co. Mario enters the building with a full sack on his back.
"Luigi I'm back!" Announced Mario.
"Hey, welcome back Mario. Did you get the pasta?" Greeted Luigi.
"No but I got something much better!" Mario announced, as he threw the sack to the floor and opened it. The sack was full of mushrooms very likely to be magic.
"Hey brother, these look like they come from the Mushroom Kingdom. It's forbidden to take these to the real world!" Luigi said in a panic.
"Oh no, Luigi these are from some place far away from there. I got there from a random warp pipe I found recently." Mario assures Luigi. "Help yourself!"
"Don't mind if I do." Luigi grabs a mushroom from the sack and takes a bite, his eyes grow large until barely any white on them can be seen. "Mama mia, that is one funky mushroom!" yelled Luigi.
"There's lot more where they come from, Luigi!" Says Mario. "But I ran into some trouble with this blue spiky haired midget."
"Blue spiky haired midget?" Luigi takes interest. "Boy, Mario. These 'shrooms must have clogged up your brain pipe!"
"I know what I saw Luigi!" Mario scolded. "He looked like some kind of rodent. He treated me with major disrespect and we got into a fight! He was pretty tough."
"Did you jump on him? That usually works!"
"Don't you think I tried to do that you idiot? Hell he was even immune to my fireballs. But he ran when I broke out the cape. I don't know if he's one of Koopa's but I got a feeling he'll get in my way again."