Gaara was a man of distinct tastes. He was a fantastic ninja (otherwise he wouldn't have been made Kazekage, obviously), but he always had a secret that was never really secret.
He loved cake. He once went on a D-class mission to deliver a wedding cake to someone, and ended up eating three-quarters on their way (Temari reprimanded him for two full hours, and he took it because it was all true).
In any case, it was about to become a fraction more public, all thanks to a chain of ridiculous events.
Gaara was calmly eating cake at the yearly party to celebrate all hidden villages' alliance when Kankuro chose to start a fight (just for fun, of course, nothing to endanger the treaty. Besides, it was all totally consensual) to see who was stronger. Gaara was currently enjoying his piece of vanilla cake when Temari bumped into him while rising to her feet. "Kankuro! Would you quit messing around? This is a serious place!"
Literally everyone turned towards the fight and started placing bets - except for Gaara, who stared mournfully at his cake. "She... made me drop... my vanilla cake..." Gaara spoke haltingly. Temari didn't notice, otherwise she would've diffused the situation. She'd jumped over the table and began fighting, too.
Gaara was still in shock, staring at the precious dessert. Without knowing the consequences, Naruto stepped on the cake (Gaara released a high-pitched squeal) in preparation of joining the fight. "Now, listen up! If you were real men, you'd take it outside, dattebayo!"
A dangerous tick mark erupted on his forehead over his Kanji symbol. A powerful almost visible purple aura of danger cropped up around Gaara. Suna's leader calmly got up, then punched Naruto in the face, sending him flying into the brick wall. "WATCH WHERE YOU'RE STEPPING, IDIOT!"
Temari and Kankuro immediately paused and came back to Gaara's side. Quickly diffusing the situation, Kankuro kept Gaara occupied while Temari rushed off for another slice of cake, hurrying it back to Gaara. Gaara greedily took the fragment of cake and plopped the fragment in his mouth. Gaara was instantly calmed, and everyone else who didn't already know about his cake obsession sweatdropped.
That had been what he was so upset about?!
Gaara was about to eat another piece of cake off his fork, only to notice everyone's exasperated glares directed towards him. He ate what was on the fork and swallowed without tasting it before lowering the fork again. "Kankuro, Temari? Why is everyone staring at me?"
"You went crazy over cake again." Temari spoke bluntly.
"I see. Who did I punch into the walls this time?" Gaara asked nonchalantly, as if this is what he did on a regular basis. Again, everyone sweatdropped.
"Naruto." Temari replied, equally nonchalant.
"Send him enough money to but a lifetime's supply of ramen." Gaara sighed, taking his slice of cake with him and leaving the reception.
It took about a minute for it to sink in for everyone else after they'd slammed the doors that the Kazekage had left with a porcelain plate and metal cutlery.
I hope you enjoyed! I'm trying to get better at humorous stories.
If I get five or more reviews by the end of March saying I should continue this as a series of oneshots or as an actual story with real plot, I will continue it. Otherwise, I'll let it die.
Thank you!
-Sapphy Ink