A/N: Hey guys, it's Big Tasty here! Since its 4/13 and I've been itching to write this fanfic idea for YEARS by now, I was thinking, 'Why the hell not?!' This is my first Homestuck fanfic, not my first fanfic though, so be gentle with me please. Its HumanAU and Kankri and Cronus. I really like this pairing, like you have no idea and it ticks me off that there's not that much fanfics of them. But I will change that…
Anyways! Homestuck doesn't belong to me, it belongs to THE HUSS!
Enjoy!~Big Tasty
Chapter Uno: Old Farts still Smell
Past Time...
"Porrim, please. Your roaming hands travelling up and down the length of my stature is very triggering, and it may seem that-OW!" The short troll quickly jumped out of Porrim's hands, a small glare settling on his face and he gazed at the needle that just pierced his skin. Porrim merely grinned at Kankri's attempt to look threatening. He's just too cute. "I'm sorry Kanny, but if you would quit fidgeting-" "Well if you were more careful and fully aware of the task at hand, I wouldn't have extra holes in my body." Kankri scoffed. He pouted as he looked down to rub the spot of flesh that was still sore, suddenly he quickly looked up at the taller woman," And it's Kan-kri." Porrim ignored him and strutted over to him arranging his gradational robes around his frame. "Oh hush, Kanny. By now you should be over that faze of being triggered by what people call you" "I also expect the pet names to end from you too Maryam, considering the fact that you're older." Porrim chuckled and knelt down to sow the ends of the garment that were dragging on the carpet floor, "May I remind you that it's not my obligation to do this Kankri, you can walk out on that ceremonial stage wearing this robe like a fool." Kankri raised a brow at Porrim's statement. She was in fact, right. And if anything else that bothered Kankri was that he did not want to look like a fool. Especially on his graduation day.
He'd just have to shut up and put up with the needles for now…
But before silence could hit the occupied room, a small tune rang through Kankri's small phone that sat on a chair across the room. He turned and began to walk towards it. Until Maryam stopped him. Kankri looked down at her sharp face filled with makeup and piercings. He never really knew what everyone saw in Porrim. Yes, he did agree that her figure was what an average man would lust for but Kankri was anything but average. His phone rang a second time. He watched as Porrim expressed a face of pure annoyance," What?" "Don't move." "But it could be something important." "Kanny." "Maryam let me just-" "Kankri!" "Porrim you are not my mother, do not order me what I should-" "KANKRI." "Porrim…can you just…" he looked up at her with pleading eyes, "get it for me?" "…" "Please?" "…You're lucky you're cute Kankri…" Kankri inwardly smirked as he watched her get up and retrieve his phone. She unlocked his phone and hummed as she went through his things. "Porrim! Please! Just give me the phone!" "You have messages." "From?" She walked back towards him and slipped the phone into his hands, she once again regained her position and started to do her work. Kankri looked over to his phones screen and saw 2 messages from one of the only being he would consider as a friend. Cronus Ampora. Kankri opened the new messages and began to read, the corners of his mouth twitching into a small smile.
[CRONUS]: aye chief
[CRONUS]: ready to wvork you're stuff?
[KANKRI] Cr9nus I d9n't even kn9w if that was a c9mpliment 9r way t9 get under my skin 6ef9re the cerem9ny even starts.
[CRONUS]: it wvas a compliment, Kankri
[KANKRI]: Ugh, m9ving 9n.
[KANKRI]: Are y9u even there Cr9nus? I w9uld assume that y9u messaged me 6ecause y9u're 69red and need s9me9ne t9 pester.
[CRONUS]: that's a no to both, Kankri, it's pretty damn hard to find the auditorium wvhen all these cats and kittens roaming around me
Kankri tsked and glared at the screen. He stiffened when Porrim suddenly began working on his sleeves.
[KANKRI]: Need may I remind y9u that th9se 'cats and kittens' are what kept y9u fr9m studying, which the cause 9f that effected the reas9n why y9u're n9t even graduating.
[CRONUS]: don't swveat it chief, I already told you, I'vwe got a plan B
[KANKRI]: Plan 6? S9 y9u're intenti9ns didn't rev9lved ar9und graduating to 6eing with?
[CRONUS]: never gavwe a damn about it since the beginning babe
[KANKRI]: Cr9nus.
[CRONUS]: sorry.
[KANKRI]: Then please, d9 enlighten me 9n what this plan of y9urs will help y9u gain a future with9ut the help 9f kn9wledge, 9r in y9ur case, a degree.
[CRONUS]: wvell I'm planning on making my old man take me as heir of his shipping enterprise. My intentions during college wvas to just get a feel at howv college really felt, anywvays I have to go this lil kitten's beckoning me over.
[KANKRI]: Y9u are g9ing t9 make it t9 my cerem9ny, right?
[CRONUS]: wvouldn't miss it for the wvorld Kan.
Kankri gave out an exasperated sigh and noticed that Porrim was done the exact same time his conversation with Cronus had ended. He watched as Porrim arranged her sewing kit and collected the pieces of extra cloth that wasn't needed"I absolutely detest him." Kankri knew she was talking about Cronus. "Remind me how you are even friends with that man?" Kankri simply shrugged and walked over to the mirror," Thank you Porrim." "You only have friendly feelings towards him, right?" Kankri turned to Porrim to glare at her again and tell her to drop the subject but he stopped when he saw her face filled with pure concern. Why should she be worried? Cronus wasn't bad; yes he had a bad reputation of flirting with anyone who crossed his path and smoking. But besides those facts, he really was an okay kind of guy. Desperate yes. But dark and mysterious, no. Kankri believed that he knew Cronus better than anyone, that and the fact that he was Cronus only friend (and vice versa) throughout their years attending college together. In addition, Cronus seemed the only one who would tolerate Kankri's long sermons. While Kankri would tolerate Cronus's futile attempts to flirt with him, unless it lead to something that really triggered him. But the question was. Did Kankri really think of Cronus as a friend? Sure there's been times were Kankri would be caught in a tight jam and Cronus would be there to save the day. But he never thought of him as-wait. Kankri reeled his mind back to those times. The times the greaser themed man would open up. Or when he would silence those among his peers that interrupted his sermons during class presentations. Or the times they would dine out on special occasions like passing a test or Kankri's birthday. Those times. Kankri felt as a mass had collected in his chest and was dragging him the same way gravity did: down. He quickly snapped out his thoughts when he felt Porrim's intense stare waiting for his response.
"No…I don't feel the same way"
I hope.
The auditorium was booming with clicks and filled with flash from cameras of all sorts. Kankri was extremely nervous. His legs were buckling because of the amount of people that were squeezed in. No sign of Cronus. He didn't want to fall and fail to present himself as the top student amongst the rest but he didn't also want to seem like a stuck up child (A/N: When is he not). Kankri peered behind the curtains as he saw Maryam, along with his little brother Karkat sitting down in the front seats with a proud smile laced on their faces (except for Karkat's pout of utter annoyance). No sign of Cronus. Kankri flinched when the person in front of him suddenly walked out on across the stage when her name was called, of course Kankri was going to hear what Aranea had to say in regards of their accomplishment. How couldn't he? Aranea was graduating with honors right behind Kankri, he always reminded her that she would have a tie with him if she stopped seeing Meenah so often. But no one can truly have a good rival could they? Kankri smiled at Aranea when her speech ended and applauded amongst the others, the crowd cheering at her wondrous speech.
"WHOOT! HELL YEAH! THAT'S MY GILLFROND UP THERE!"
His eye twitched. Somethings will never change, he guessed. He watched as Aranea turned to him and began to call his name stating that he was the one who soared above everyone. No sign of Cronus. Kankri gladly took this as his que to walk. As he walked across the stage the room was filled with roars of cheers and through the corner of his eye he saw that Karkat had stood up on the seat of his chair and was cheering him on with a huge grin on his face.
How endearing-
"WAYDA GO FUCKASS!"
Karkat…
However, as Kankri reached his destination he noticed that he wasn't simply looking at the crowd for no particular reason. He was still searching for Cronus.
Did he seriously get lost? No, stupid, he's been in the auditorium way too many times. Maybe something happened? He's capable of taking care of himself, he knows how to use a gun. Did he lose track of time? He has a phone. Did he…did he take his time with that person? ...but he promised. Kankri feelings and mind where pushed back as he reached over to grab his certificate and turn to smile at the large crowd. No matter how franticly his eyes searched the thick crowd he couldn't find the guy.
He promised.
Kankri drifted off to the right side of the stage still smiling.
And he didn't come.
But then again, Kankri had better things to think about. Like how he was going to being his life to his own tastes. This idea was hard to think about. Especially when he was struggling to breath, had an intense headache and his heart felt like it was being clutched by a force that was cold and bitter.
You could say that Kankri was drowning in his own emotions.
Present Time…
"Alright class it seems father time has decided that class is officially over, and you're time to return to the humble comfort of your sweet home. But before you go, may I remind you that tonight is open house and I would really like to meet your guardians and talk about you're grades of this first semester. You're art work has been placed on the wall outside so that all may marvel at how creative little genius's you all are. If you would like to contribute to snacks that would be very helpful but a quick reminder that if you do not bring enough, it will trigger others and they will feel very unwant-sad. Quietly get up and walk out the door, in a clam orderly fashion. Please do not rush because that may tend to trigger other-"
"GOODBYE MISTER VANTAS."
"-people…"
Kankri frowned as he watched his class erupted from their seats and raced to the door. Children these days so eager to get home and fill themselves with TV and other goodies that Kankri hated. Really now, all that stupidity could influence a child and turn them into idiots! What happened to reading a good old book now a days? Kankri eased the ends of his bright red sweater and roamed around the room to arrange the seats.
After 8 years since his graduation Kankri had decided that he needed to help others and society. There was a calling to him that he needed to improve the flaws that could lead to more success for others! Porrim believed it was a very noble quest but the idea of being a 3rd grade teacher didn't sound so heroic to her. Kankri simply placed it like this, "If I being fixing flaws at the beginning they surely will lead and become a success to the future! Not only that but what they become will determine our future and I don't mean to sound selfish or anything but I do want a perfect future." Now here is Kankri sanitizing the desks since early today Gamzee had been sneezing all over the place not even bothering to cover his sneezes with his arm or a tissue. That boy seriously was a dull one in his class and boy, was Mr. Vantas going to give his guardian an earful on manners during open house.
When he finished cleaning and properly placing everything in its place Kankri took his time and began to walk outside of his class and see the pictures that had been placed up on the wall. He couldn't find time to do it for himself so Kankri asked his younger brother to do the job for him, much to his surprise Karkat agreed. Kankri walked down the hall and looked at the scribbles his student's have made from the beginning of the school year. Apparently Gamzee had a nice flare to creativity, his drawing filled with multiple rainbows and the word 'Miracles' squeezed in the picture overlapping the rainbows numerous of times. He smirked when he came across little Captor's drawing of bee's. Seriously, did the bee loving run in the family? Mr. Vantas grinned at himself; Karkat had done a very good job displaying the best drawings of his student's. He would have to make it up to him later on. Suddenly, his eyes halted on a drawing that was placed at the very end.
The drawing had a, what Kankri would assume, little girl with wild hair in the air with a hole through her body with red circles on the floor, what Kankri believed was suppose to be blood. Through the hole were white lines that shot through her body and came from a wand that came from a little figure that wore a purple cape and big glasses. Kankri growled as he snatched the drawing from the wall and marched to his desk. His hand darted for a book that contained all his students guardian's number just in case of emergency and in this case, it was. Kankri's eyes traveled to rows and rows of last names that started with 'A's until finally he came across what he was looking for.
Ampora.
He punched the number into his homeroom phone and waited for someone to pick up. Eridan Ampora had been one of the student's that Kankri was a bit concerned about. He was very violent towards some of the other kids and always claimed that he was 'Supreme' or 'Highblood'. Whatever that even meant. But besides that, he did very well in his school subjects and was the top student among his class. Yet, there was the fact that he was very violent…especially to Sollux Captor. Kankri couldn't even count the number of times he's had to pull those two apart from killing each other! He can say the same for the number of times he's called this same number.
Then something suddenly stuck. Kankri's never meet Eridan's guardian. Nor has he ever heard of him from his previous teachers. It struck him a bit odd, that and also the fact that Eridan's last name reminded him of something or someone who he couldn't remember. Yet he couldn't shake the feeling-
"Hello, yes, you're calling Ampora Enterprises of Ships and Shipping Buildings. This is Mr. Ampora's office number and his secretary speaking how may I help you." Kankri blinked at the velvet like voice that spoke through the phone without any flaws what so ever. It was probably a man answering, yet, Kankri believe that the voice sounded, in some aspects, familiar.
"Yes thank you answering my call," Out of all the ones I've sent these past months, "I would like to speak to Mr. Ampora in the regards of my concern for his son, Eridan Ampora. I would like him to come and talk with me about how to deal with Eridan, and tonight is open house so I was assuming tonight would appropriate-"
"I'm sorry but it won't be, Mr. Ampora has a busy schedule-"
"Yes but maybe he can do something about it? It's his son I'm speaking of, surely he must care-"
"He doesn't care." The voice answered sharply.
"…"
The other voice on the line sighed and to Kankri's surprise dropped the prim and proper act, "Look, I'll find a way to squeeze you in on his schedule, lemme remind you that I don't do this for anyone. May I ask whose calling?"
"His teacher, Kankri Vantas."
There was small pause but the voice continued to speak,"…Alright, well Saturday at 2 pm sharp please present yourself at our company, it's on 1113 Orphaner St. in down town. Did you write that down?"
"Yes, thank you very much."
"It's a date then, good day, Mr. Kankri Vantas."
Kankri was fazed by the way the person slurred out his name and he quickly snapped out of it as he heard the dull ring of the phone being hanged up by the other line. Kankri smoothed out his hair and regained his composure, trying to stay calm. Yet, the only disobedient one here was his rapidly beating heart. Maybe it was just simple nerves of meeting the children's guardians. Or maybe it was the voice on the phone he just spoke with a few moments ago.
Kankri couldn't decide which one was cause of this. But he at least knew one thing.
Karkat wasn't going to get any Rom-Coms tonight.
A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed! Omg, Kankri shut up I'm surprised Gamzee hasn't gone insane with all you're constant rambling. May god help those poor kids. And if you guys haven't guessed the dead girl Eridan drew was Feferi. R&R are very much appreciated ~Big Tasty