Prologue:
I was just another person in a sea of desperate people with a wish, wanting it to be fulfilled. My name is Echizen Ryoma, I'm 20 years old, male, and I was in love with a man named Yukimura Seiichi, my lover, who was dying in the hospital. To say life was unfair was just not enough; it was too generous of me when life was but a bastard. Time was jealous, death was greedy, and heaven was impatient.
I never thought love was for me, but resisting was futile and soon, I became one of its victims. It felt immoral, I felt so dirty and impure. The feeling was so violating, everything turned upside down, as if I was in another world, and it was like I was in a daze, I felt like I was losing myself… and I hated it.
Such foreign feelings, so disgusting, it was sickeningly sweet and pleasant, like the feeling of being reborn, I was a whole different person. I hated the way it gives me warmth in my once cold heart, how it makes excitement rushing through my veins, and how it makes my muscles contract to form a smile. To be straight to the point, I hated love. It was heavenly yet it hurts like hell.
What does love mean to me though? Love… is the scar in your heart that never goes away, a drug that slowly kills you, and the color of dark crimson from the slit on a wrist in scorching pain. Love turns all into fools. I may be in love myself but that isn't to say I'm not allowed to describe what love means to me in a way that is dark, gruesome, and morbid so resentfully. I'm just saying what's true or what I at least think so and not out of my own hatred.
Right now, when I say this, it is the truth; when we fall in love deeply, in the end, we're left looking like the fool. We're all fools ourselves when we're in love and even I wasn't an exception. Although they call me intelligent, that doesn't mean I don't do stupid. And never dare say I wasn't foolish because that one person I know noticed me as a person, the most foolish of all fools, in a sea of desperate people with one stupid wish. What was my wish though?
"For me to grant your wish, you must form a contract with me. To form a contract with me, you must accept a trade with me and you must trade me your soul in exchange for me to grant your wish. Saa, Echizen Ryoma, do we have a deal?"
I knew the consequences, I knew what would happen if I formed the contract, I knew in the end that I'd be gone in the world, but it was without a second thought; a deal was made.
"Just get on with it and grant my wish! I wish Yukimura Seiichi to live!"
And if you ask me about happiness, it was a lie. We are people only blindfolded by naivety. Happiness was nothing but a lie and so was love. They never last forever…
"As you wish…"
TBC...