She didn't let herself remember her often but when she did, she absolutely succumbed to every emotion, feeling, memory, detail, and shard of pain that her mind could release.
She had lost count of how long she had been crying, it didn't matter now since she was still letting heavy flows of the droplets run rapid down her face.
The image of her still haunted her, still tormented her fragile mind until she couldn't tell if the spectral she was looking at was from her memory or not. She knew that she was dead; in her heart she knew that. But her mind was in denial.
"Elphie," she let the name of her decreased friend out into the open air for what seemed like the first time in years. The air seemed to chill at the name, as if it was something foreign that the world did not accept.
Glinda shuddered at the accuracy of the natural occurrence. Elphaba had been something that the world had not accepted, and it was chilling if not a bit frightening that the air would have gotten cooler at the mention of her name.
Though Elphaba had been dead for what four years now? The world still remembered her as someone else, The Wicked Witch Of The West. Glinda harbored a guess that she was the only one left who had known her as Elphaba Thropp.
"I miss you," confessed the blonde woman in a longing, hoarse whisper as the tears blurred her vision.
The image that appeared suddenly in front of her was of Elphaba, a mix between looking like the girl she had known at Shiz and the woman that she had become after pronouncing herself as The Wicked Witch Of The West.
Glinda knew in her mind that she was in her bedroom right now, she knew that Elphaba had been dead for four years now, she had seen the woman die right in front of her so any rumors of her living were wrong, but even still Glinda couldn't help but succumb and believe (at least this once) that Elphaba was alive.
Their relationship whether it had been a strong friendship or something more was a disaster from the start. It was bound to end in tragedy. They were two separate people, observed Glinda, as she looked on at the ghost of Elphaba, two very distinct women in two very different worlds. Glinda lived the life of a pampered rich woman, who on the inside was beyond miserable and desperate to find something to live for. Elphaba had lived the life of a fugitive, of purpose and of meaning.
She had, to Glinda at least if to no one else, died as a tragic hero.
"I love you," the blonde whispered in such a soft, pleading voice it was sounded almost like a last whisper of the dying.
To this, the ghost said nothing but merely smirked. Oh how Glinda loved that smirk. It brought more tears to the surface of her already drowning eyes.
"I should have come with you, that day after we had seen the Wizard, I shouldn't have let you go that easily," the blonde was beating herself up now in remorse for things even she knew she could not change.
She rambled on and on, tears filling in her eyes when they were empty, but to this the ghost of her dead friend said absolutely nothing.
"Ozdamn it, Elphie! Just say something to me!" begged the blonde as she slammed down her hands in anger on the bed that she was sitting on.
Glinda could barely remember where she was at the moment. Was it the Emerald City? Shiz? Or maybe it was back in Frottica? All she knew was that Elphaba was standing right in front of her and the green woman would say nothing to console the blonde, who was obviously drowning and consumed in her own grief.
"Hold out my sweet, hold out if you can," were the only words Elphaba said and they were just enough to send the blonde into a spiraling world wind of insanity.
All the hurt, pain, sorrow, guilt, remorse, and self-loathing that those words had brought the first time Elphaba had spoken them now returned with a thousand times greater the impact.
Glinda felt like her heart had shattered and she let a fresh wave of tears and guilt overcome her. She hadn't realized that a person could cry this long and still feel empty and sad inside.
"I can't though," she admitted in a scared whisper, "I can't hold on, Elphie."
Elphaba looked as if she was about to say something, to speak those words of advice and comfort that had always brought the blonde clarity in making decisions, when she suddenly faded away from view.
Glinda bolted off of whatever she was sitting on (it didn't matter anymore did it?) and staggered and stumbled over her dress to where Elphaba had been.
"Elphie!" she cried out as one hand launched itself forward to keep Elphaba here. It hit glass, and thankfully did not shatter it.
When Glinda looked up she expected to see Elphaba looking back at her, but what she saw was her own reflection.
How she hated to look at herself in recent years. Her own appearance disgusted her.
Too much makeup. Too pale. Too old. Too many wrinkles creasing on her face. And she wasn't even that old to begin with!
Stringy dull hair hung like ratty old curtains and had a faint golden hue to them. Eyes of faded blue looked back at her with some glint in them that the blonde could never figure out these days. Her lips were bloody from biting down on them constantly and not bothering to clean them up. Her complexion had deteriorated from her prime years. Her figure had thinned out dangerously, almost to a point where Chuffrey would comment on how corpse-like she looked.
Everything about herself was disgusting, revolting to be exact. Glinda longed, would give anything to have an emerald green complexion, black silky hair to complement her dark eyes and thin body.
Glinda would even give up her own sanity to have it.
Upon further inspection of herself Glinda noticed something rather odd. A spot of her skin, near her upper hairline area was an unusual color. It was green. A bright emerald green. The blonde watched in fascination with no horror attached as it spread down her neck and slowly down the rest of her body.
Her hair, at the same time as her skin, had started to change as well. Blonde curls straightened and became as black as night.
After her body had finished changing, Glinda looked up to see herself completely transformed. Her eyes were now a warm brown, her hair was black, her skin pigment green and Glinda no longer looked like Glinda. The woman looking at the reflection in the mirror couldn't even tell who she was anymore. Glinda or Elphaba?
But it was then that something was clear to her. She couldn't, shouldn't be defined by how she looked. It was no matter what her skin color was, what her eyes looked like, if her hair was curled or not, and if she was as beautiful as a goddess or as plain as a piece of paper.
It mattered about traits, genes and your behavior. If she was comparing to herself to either Glinda or Elphaba than the woman looking in the mirror had to reluctantly call herself Glinda.
Elphaba was a woman who had never really fit in. Someone who had tried so hard to find her place in the world, had been labeled a villain just because she was different, and had been casted aside in the eyes of the world.
Glinda on the other hand had fit in naturally within the world. Someone who had charmed everyone, and had graced the land of Oz with her presence. But Glinda was a fake and she had been one for so long that she barely remember the girl, the young girl that she had once been.
They were so different but yet when Glinda looked at her reflection she saw no difference between Elphaba and herself.
Tears still ran down her face in anguish that she had been so close to Elphaba, and with each droplet sliding down her cheek it wiped away the green color leaving a streak of pale skin in its place. This continued until Glinda found herself back to normal. Pale skin, blue eyes, blonde hair and everything.
"You are the piece of me I wish I didn't need, Elphie," she whispered faintly as the truth suddenly hit her and she realized that it was all a hallucination, something that had been happening quite frequently, "But I guess I'll always have you with me since I always need you."
Her eyes flickered upwards and in the reflection Glinda saw that her eyes were gleaming with a newfound color almost hidden in the irises of her deep ocean blue eyes. Her orbs of blue had a blinding glint of green in them. Whether a nod to Elphaba's skin color, or a spiritual representation of Elphaba herself Glinda found the color to be calming.
She smiled for the first time in years and turned away, ready to go back to whatever duties she had to attend to, her eyes glinting green the entire way.
I'll be the first to admit that this is really weird but I will also be the first to admit that I really loved this. This was inspired by the song Clarity by Zedd featuring The Foxes. I blame any weirdness on the fact that I've been working outside for ten hours a day for the past two days. And the fact that I'm exhausted and can barely think. But my muse was calling and I just had to do something about it.
I promise I will try and write more to either After Ever After, The Main Attraction or Glitz Glamor and Murder. Or I could write another one shot.
I'm going to stop typing now before i say something stupid.
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