January 28th, 2013
The room is dark, dry, and cold. An orange and black basketball climbs the air directly upwards, stopping for just a second at the peak of its velocity, then falls gently back into the hands that threw it. Up again, then down into the hands. Up, down. Up, down. Up, down. And eventually, the ball slips from its path and bounces upon the wooden-slated floors, polished with expensive preservatives and sparkly mop-and-shine. Too lazy to retrieve the ball, the boy lies ventral on the bed, staring straight at the ceiling. His arms flow down to his stomach, where they tie with each other and raise up and down with his slow breathing.
"How the hell am I going to tell my mom," Troy whispers to himself. "She's going to kill my ass."
He pushes his tired fingers through his dark hair and blinks tears away from his blue eyes. The stress has been tearing him apart for months, and he has to hold it all in. He can't tell his mom. She has enough on her plate as it is. He can't tell his grandparents in fear that they will tell his mom. Somehow, someone told the secrets months ago at school and everyone there knows his secret.
Scratches fall upon his wooden door. It creaks open and stops at about six inches wide. An oversized dog snout sneaks in. It turns to the left and nuzzles the door open wider. The light reveals a steel-grey dog, approximately a meter tall, with flecks of a lighter color all throughout the coat. His face is ragged and hairy, almost covering the eyes.
"What's the matter, bud?"
The door pouts a bit at the door, pawing at the floor anxiously.
"Come in, Rex."
The dog bolts inside the room and finds the oversized dog bed in the corner. He circles on the bed a few times before plopping down in a satisfying manner.
His iPhone began to sing to him. He groans with anxiety, knowing that the ringer that is playing is none other than the person he really didn't want to talk to.
He had to talk to her. He can't bail out on her. She's alone, too.
His fingers grasp the buzzing phone and he looks at it. The name across the top reads "Jessica" and he cries out in angst. He slid the bar across the screen and turned it on speaker.
"Hello?" he says.
"Troy? Is that you?"
"Yes, it's me."
"Oh, you sound different," Jessica says sarcastically. "So, what's your problem today?"
"Everything," he barks sharply, "you, mom, dad, this house, my schooling, my friends, life in general-"
Troy sits up and sighs deeply. He turns the phone on speaker.
"What do you want from me, Jessica? More paperwork, signatures, headaches?"
"No, not really. I just want you to come to my sonogram tomorrow ."
Troy's heart fell out of his chest. He knew that it wouldn't be a good thing for him to do, but he knew that he signed up for it. He has to go. If he doesn't go, the courts will penalize him. His gut twists and his throat dries, but he can't back out. After all, he helped create this mess, so he has to help clean up the mess. With a twitch of his mouth, he says something.
"I can't."
"What? What do you mean 'I can't?'" she gasps.
"I promised my mom I would spend the day with her," he lies.
"Who's more important? Your mom, or your baby?"
"My mom, bitch. That baby is as much mine as it will be yours when you hand it off to the dip-shits that are going to take it. Stop calling me, drug whore!"
He hangs up on her and sets his phone on the nightstand beside his bed. It isn't worth going to look at a baby that he is never going to see. He doesn't want anything to do with her or her kid. He doesn't even consider their baby his. All he really considers himself as is a sperm donor. That's all he wants to be is a sperm donor. Not a father, not a relative, nothing. A screwed up sperm donor.
…..
"Stop it! Stop it! Mitch, stop!"
A girl wriggles and giggles while a kid Troy's age tickles her and kisses all over her. Troy watches intently. His eyes wander across her plump breasts, petite figure, little butt... Of course, his TV is too small, so they can't go all the way being on his TV. He loathes Mitch with a burning passion. He misses having a girlfriend, but he can't just go run out and get one. He learned his lesson with that one. He misses the one that he did have, not Jessica, but his first love, and his only love.
The doorbell buzzes and Troy jumps to his feet. He drags them across the cold ceramic tiles and finds the front door.
"Why are you guys here?"
Troy stands at the door in his sweats and a muscle shirt. Two of his friends and one of their girlfriend stand there with a 6 pack of beer and pizza.
"Happy birthday," the person in front says.
"It's not my birthday, Keith."
"Bullshit, it is your birthday, don't lie."
Troy opens the door wider and says, "Come on in."
The friends file inside of the house. The friend with the beer shoves it in the fridge and the friend with the pizza sets it on his kitchen counter.
"Bryan, fetch me a beer," Keith says.
"I want one!" his girlfriend, Randy cries.
"Make that two," Keith makes himself comfortable on the couch with Randy.
Troy closes the front door and scratches his head, trying to remember when he invited them over for a party with beer and pizza. He remembers the last party they had ended up with over fifty people and a lot of drunk teenagers. It was a party that he hosted at his house, and a party that got him in big trouble. He gives up on trying to remember and shrugs to himself. He once again drags his bare feet across the ceramic tiles and plops down in his living room chair.
"So, how old are you today?" Bryan says from the kitchen.
"Seventeen," he sighs.
"Oh, the big one seven, huh?" Bryan enters the living room with four beers. He throws one to Keith, one to Randy, and offers one to Troy.
"No thanks," he shakes his head.
"Why not?"
"I don't like beer and I don't drink."
Bryan shrugs and sets the beer on the table. He plops down in the loveseat across from Troy. The TV channel is flipped to a scary movie.
"Ooh, I love this movie!" Randy's eyes become saucers.
Keith sets the remote on the table. "Where's the party? Cake? Ice cream? Music?"
Troy reclines the chair and looks up at the ceiling. His head begins to ache slightly as the smell of fresh pizza enters the living room. He closes his eyes.
"There is no party."
"What? No party for your seventeenth birthday?" Keith stands to attention. "I demand a party!"
"Today hasn't been a good day," Troy rolls on his side and stares at the ornate flowery wallpaper.
"Is the bitch bothering you? Do you want me to take care of-"
"She only called. I'm just stressed out about school, mom, dad, and Gabriella-"
"Gabriella?" Bryan raises an eyebrow. "You guys have been broken up for at least a year now, right?"
Troy curls up in his chair and stares at the wall, sighing
"You're really going to beat yourself up over her?" Keith's chuckling switches to laughter. "C'mon now, Bolton! You're a big boy, don't let a girl like her bother you. Someone who doesn't believe you when you are telling the truth doesn't deserve to be with you. You deserve a lot better than her."
"I didn't cheat on her," Troy cries, "I never cheated on her!"
"And we believe you, don't we Bryan?" Keith turns his head to Bryan.
Bryan gives a worried laugh, "Then how is Jessica pregnant?"
"I dated her after Gabriella broke up with me," Troy says, "and then she got pregnant..."
"Oh..." Bryan says awkwardly. "Do you need some time to yourself?"
"No, I'm perfectly fine," Troy sits up.
Keith looks over at Randy, "Are you okay?"
Randy's eyes are still saucers. She stares at the TV with such intent that every movement of hers is involuntary. Keith shakes her arm and says her name again, but she does not respond.
"She does this every once in a while," Keith says.
Troy stands up and stares at Randy for a second, then turns his back and enters the main hall of his house. The front door stares at him as he passes by it, beckoning for him to look at it. It draws him in mysteriously. He stops, turns to it, reaches for it, and opens it slightly. Outside, fluffy white snow falls delicately from invisible clouds above. Every flake finds its place on the frozen land and rests beside its buddy. They create frozen mounds of white water and create barriers between everything on Earth. Troy pulls on his shoes and stands in the doorway.
Rex enters the hallway. He stands there for a moment before putting on his pouty face towards Troy.
"You can come, I guess. You better be good, though."
Rex wags his tail slightly and inches towards the door.
"Go on," Troy says.
Before Troy exits, Bryan finds Troy in the hallway
"Where are you going?" Bryan almost walks past Troy.
"Just tell Keith and Randy that they can stay the night if they want. You can stay too, I could care less," Troy says without looking at Bryan.
Bryan backs up a few steps and leans against the wall, "Is there something going on, man?"
"Nah," Troy shakes his head, "I'm just heading out for tonight."
Troy can tell that Bryan understood. Troy needs his space. Troy always needs space. Even when there is only one person around, he needs his space. Bryan nods at him.
"You need a ride?" he asks.
"I'm okay, I can walk. It's good exercise for Rex." Troy replies.
"Pizza's on me this time," Bryan chuckles.
"You were going to make me pay for it?" Troy sarcastically laughs.
"I didn't have the money, so Keith paid for it."
"Oh, I see," Troy shakes his head. "See you sometime tomorrow."
"Yep."
Troy unhooks his keys from the key holder beside the door, pulls his coat off the coat rack and shuts the door behind himself. He pulls his coat on and zips up the front quickly, gasping at how freezing cold it is outside. Snow engulfs the domain in front of him. More heavy snow falls and traps the land around him. This is his town's heaviest snow of the year yet. Their estimated fall is up to 20 inches of snow. Troy begins to slosh through the thick snow with nothing but jeans, sneakers, and an old coat. He begins to regret selling his mom's car.
"God damn weather, snow, fucking life..." Troy throws an armful of snow out of his way and looks desperately for the street.
"Seven miles in this weather isn't going to do me any good," he says to himself.
When he finally finds the road, he discovers that the plow had recently went over it, since the snow was only about a quarter-inch high. Rex runs to Troy with a stick in his mouth and then finds his place walking beside Troy. Troy looks over, pats Rex on his wiry head, and sets off on his journey.