The Will of The Hanyou

Book 10

(Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha. I only own Saeka, Saaya, Sakura and whomever else you don't recognize)

The Need For Loved Ones

It was raining. But it was sunny outside. In Saeka's mind and world however, it was storming and raging and she was uncovered and barraged by sleet and hail: her sadness and grief in disguise.

" I can't believe he left." She whispered to Kagome, sitting beside her at the lakeshore. " He never even found out that—"

She broke off mid-sentence and started to cry again. " Why? Why did he do this?" she sobbed. " He knows better than that! He's the one and only thing that kept me going after he saved me from my father!"

Kagome felt she could nothing more than to hug her, knowing words couldn't describe the incredible pain Saeka was feeling right now. " I know." She said. " I could tell how much you loved him. If only he had waited a little longer, and found out…he might have stayed." She whispered the last part. Saeka stared grimly at the surface of the lake. " I can't believe this." She mumbled.

" And what's worse, we can't go looking for him." Kagome said. " I know Sesshomaru, too. He always means what he says. He just might leave Japan forever if you go searching for him."

" He wouldn't lose me. I'd follow him to the ends of the earth. Heck, I'd follow him to hell and back." She said. She suddenly made a cramped noise and clutched her stomach with both arms, gritting her teeth. She was resisting the urge to vomit again. She took a deep breath and swallowed a few times. Then she sighed. " I've never gotten morning sickness like this before." She said wonderingly. " I wonder what brought this sudden change on."

" Who knows." Kagome murmured. She leaned back and sighed unhappily.

" I just don't get it." Saeka whispered. " Whatever gave him the idea I was unhappy with him? My life had never been better."

" I understand. Does Saaya know her father's gone?" Kagome asked gently.

" No. I haven't seen her. Like him, she wanders off a lot. But she never ups and leaves like he did."

As they were talking, InuYasha came up behind them with Sakura in tow.

" Hey." He said quietly. " Saeka, any ideas yet?"

" Not a one. I'm trying to figure out why he thought he was the cause of all of this." She replied. InuYasha furrowed his brow. " This doesn't seem right. I know for a fact he loves you, Saeka. You're the only thing he's ever strived to protect as much as he did you. In fact, you're probably the only thing he ever protected, besides Rin and Jaken, I mean. But the two of them are gone."

Suddenly, Saeka's head shot up. " Maybe he's going to the continent to look for Rin." She said.

" No, he said he'll only leave Japan if we try to find him." Kagome pointed out. " He'll keep his word, too. I'm sure of it."

" If he only knew that…that I'm…." she broke off again and buried her head in her arms. " How could he do this to me?" she muttered.

InuYasha frowned. " You know, I think we should go after him. I hate to admit it, but I'm a little concerned. This isn't like him. He never runs away from anything."

" How?" Kagome asked. " We have no way of following efficiently. Besides that, Saeka's pregnant. She can't travel long distances up to a certain point."

" Oh yeah. But he shouldn't be that hard to find. I know his scent well enough by now." InuYasha grumbled.

" He's sure to have disguised himself." Saeka sighed. " Don't underestimate him. He took down my father after all and that's not easy to do." Saeka said.

" But didn't Kassenah take him out?" Kagome said. Saeka's eyes lit up all of a sudden. " Kassenah! It can open portals to other places! Maybe it can take me to Sesshomaru and I can convince him to return!"

" Didn't Sesshomaru seal Kassenah shut with Steel Bee Wax?" InuYasha asked.

" Yes, but he managed to force it out of the sheath. That's how I got us to the world of the dead so he could visit the grave of his father. It's still in Kaede's hut beneath the floorboards!"

" Awesome!" Kagome exclaimed. She jumped up and scooped Sakura into her arms. " Let's go!" she called. They hurried to catch up with her.

" Lady Kaede!" Kagome cried, bursting through the door. Kaede appeared startled and her eyes snapped up. " What is it, child?" she asked wearily. Kagome stepped aside to let Saeka through. The healer made straight for the floorboards beneath her pallet and tilted a loose one up. Instantly, she gasped and covered her mouth. " No! NO! Oh my god!" she exclaimed in frustration. She slammed the board back down and pinched the bridge of her nose. " I don't believe it! He wasn't kidding!" she groaned.

" What is it?" Kagome said concernedly.

" He's taken Kassenah. He predicted this, he's serious this time." She moaned.

" Great. That idiot." InuYasha grumbled, balling his fists. " How could he be so stupid?"

" And now of all times." Kagome said, glancing at Saeka. " If he'd only found out, he might have at least waited until it was born."

Saeka sighed gloomily. " I just don't get it." She murmured. She turned to Kaede. " Lady Kaede, where is the letter he left me?"

" I placed it beside thy bed." She replied. Saeka turned and sure enough, her letter from Sesshomaru was sitting there. She leaned over, picked it up and got to her feet. Instantly, she moaned and shook her head. " Dizzy." She muttered. Taking the letter, she stumbled out of the cabin and shut the door behind her.

" InuYasha, I'm worried." Kagome said.

" Why?"

" In the letter, he explained that he wanted her to find someone new and start over. How could he fathom that she'd agree with him? She'll never find someone new because the only one for her is him. He's the only one besides your father who ever cared about her. As far as she can remember anyway."

" Yeah, I know. Looks like we'll be busy in the upcoming days." InuYasha grumbled. Kagome looked at him questioningly. " What do you mean?"

" Before I got into details, we'll have to send a message to Sango and Miroku. We'll need their help for this. We may even want to find Kohaku and Rin."

" Are you saying we're going after him?" Kagome exclaimed, shocked. He nodded grimly. " Yeah. I don't care what he says. We'll find him and clear his mind of his delusions once and for all. I don't know where he got that stupid idea that this all happened because he and Saeka were together and that she'd be happier without him, but one thing's for sure, we've got to get him to see the light. Saeka needs him. Especially now."

Kagome nodded. " Right. We'll find Sesshomaru, if it's the last thing we do. We all need him." She whispered. InuYasha looked at her strangely. " Huh?"

" InuYasha, over the years, I've come to see Sesshomaru as sort of a brother to me. Even though he may not realize it, we're all his family now. Think about it, hasn't he been alone for much of his life?"

InuYasha glanced at the ground. " Yeah, I guess so. I know he and our father weren't always on the best of terms, but I know nothing about his mother."

" That's just it. He's had no family until Saeka came into his life. He had you, but you two hated each other. Saeka is the one thing that made all of our lives that much better. She's done nothing but help us for almost nine years and it's time we did something for her in her time of great need."

InuYasha smiled determinedly. " I suppose you're right. She got Sesshomaru to lighten up a bit."

Kagome smiled at him. " Let's get to writing those letters. They need to reach Sango and Miroku before it's too late. We can use Kirura."

Saeka sat by the lakeshore, waiting for Saaya to arrive and scanned Sesshomaru's letter for any hints other than what he'd revealed. So far, she'd found nothing except that he was very poetic when he wanted to be and that he still felt a deep connection with her. She'd only seen him a couple of days ago. Before she'd left him to return to the village, he had had a strange look in his eyes, she recalled. But she'd thought nothing of it. After all, all the time that they spent together usually had at least one strange thing happen in it, so she'd grown used to that sort of thing. But now as she thought of it, it chilled her to the bone and she instinctively placed her hand on her stomach without even realizing it. Every time she thought of the developing life form inside her, she started to cry, knowing that he had no idea of it and had left that way, believing his presence to be a bad thing.

" Damn." She hissed. " Why now? Why couldn't he have at least waited until it was time?"

With that, she pulled her knees up and buried her head in her upraised arms, sobbing quietly.

The next nine months were going to be torture.

Saaya emerged from the trees, Naraku close behind her. She had been gone for some time, helping him determine whether he was recovered enough to face InuYasha. Judging by how sore she was, she figured he was ready.

As she poked her head out of the bushes, she caught her breath in her throat when she saw her mother sitting by the lake, studying a scroll. There were tears running down her face and falling onto the paper. Concerned, she motioned for Naraku to stay put and carefully made her way over.

" Mom?" she said tentatively. Saeka jumped and looked up at her.

" Saaya. Oh, Saaya!" she cried, leaping up and embracing her daughter. Saaya hugged her back and waited for her mother's sobbing to subside. When it finally did, Saeka let her go and quickly apologized. " I'm sorry honey, I'm just, a little down." She murmured.

" Mom, what happened? What's that scroll?"

She pointed to the scroll lying on the ground, having snapped back into a cylinder. Saeka glanced at it and sighed. " Saaya, there's something I should tell you." She said.

" Can you tell me later? I have to ask dad something." She said. Saeka made a weird noise and covered her eyes. " That's what I need to tell you." She whispered.

" Did something happen to dad?" Saaya asked, voice bordering on panic. Saeka nodded.
" Where is he?" Saaya exclaimed.

" Saaya. Your father left." Saeka murmured.

" When will he be back?"

" He won't."

" What do you mean, mom?" Saaya said. Saeka turned around. " I mean, he's left us. He took off. He went to face life. He's…gone." Saeka said, voice breaking again. On the word, 'gone', she broke and collapsed on the ground. She held up the scroll. " He left this for me! He never even found out about what I needed to tell him!" Saeka cried.

" Tell him what?" Saaya whispered, trying to keep calm. Saeka turned to look at her, a small weak smile on her pale face. " You're going to be a big sister, Saaya." She murmured. Saaya gasped. " You're pregnant?" she gasped. Saeka nodded. " Yes, but he left before I had a chance to tell him." She choked out. " I don't know if we'll ever see him again. Once he sets his mind to something, he follows it through."

" No." Saaya whispered. She closed her eyes, forbidding the tears that she knew were coming. Then, she raised her head to the heavens.

" How could you?" she screamed as loudly as she possibly could.

Over in the trees, Naraku, waiting patiently for Saaya and wondering what Saeka was fussing over, jumped a mile at the sound of Saaya's scream and without thinking about it, dashed out of his hiding place and hurried over to her. " Saaya, what's wrong?" he demanded.

Instantly, as they both stared at him, stunned, he knew he'd made a grave mistake.

Saeka's face went stony and she glared at him with eyes fit to stab.

" Naraku." She growled. He backed away cautiously. " Wait, Saeka, please. I heard what happened. You have to trust me." He said quietly. She stood up, eyes flickering. " Sesshomaru was right. You are still alive. Not for much longer, though." She said, clacking her claws together. Saaya stepped between them.

" Mom, please. He's been here for days. You have to give him a chance." She pleaded. Saeka seemed skeptical and unmoved. " Saaya, I understand how you felt, but—" she stopped as the rebound of her own words came back to her from the night Sesshomaru killed him.

I have not forgotten. I have forgiven.

Her hands shook visibly at her sides, and then she sighed. " I cannot kill you." She whispered. She turned away. " I don't think I'd have the energy to, anyway."

" What do you mean?" he asked. She gave him a calm evil eye.

" Sesshomaru left me." She managed to get out. He gasped slightly. " He left you?"

Saeka nodded once. " He said all of our bad luck was his fault. But why am I telling you all of this? I don't need convincing as much as InuYasha and Kagome will." She warned him. He chuckled once. " It's funny, Kagome and Lady Kaede already know I'm alive." He said. Saeka didn't move. " Somehow, I'm not surprised." She sighed again and started toward the cabin. Naraku glanced at Saaya and she shrugged.

" What are you going to do?" he asked.

" I don't know. I'm still in shock, so I'll probably need you to stay later." She mumbled, turning slowly to face the water.

Dad, she thought. How could you do this to mom? How could you do this to me, and my new brother or sister? How could you do this us?

Naraku, having forgotten his own parents many, many year's prior, didn't know what it was like to go through what Saaya was experiencing. He wasn't sure what to say to her, so he said nothing. She sat down beside the water and he followed suit, taking a seat beside her. " I'm sorry about this, Saaya." He said quietly. She bowed her head, her white bangs covering her eyes. " It isn't your fault. Dad was probably mad at me because I loved you: his supposed worst enemy. If that were true, then my only option would be to tell you to leave. But I just can't do that."

Again, he was at a loss for words. But around Saaya, this was normal. She often made him speechless just by glancing in his direction. He hummed and looked out over the surface of the water, contemplating.

" Are you all going to go and look for him?" he asked.

" Possibly. But there's the wolf demon tribe to worry about. If we leave, that'll leave the village with no protection and Koga wants out village more than anything. Also, I noticed that Kisho escaped, but he's nothing to worry about. I suppose the worst that could happen is they could follow us. Then maybe they'd leave everyone else alone." She suggested, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around them thoughtfully. Her ponytail blew slightly in the breeze.

Naraku tentatively reached his hand out and gently fingered her ponytail, noticing how smooth her hair was. He ran his fingers delicately through it, also noting how few tangles there were. He saw her head droop as her body relaxed from the hypnotic feel of it and he smiled slightly. She sighed. " That feels surprisingly good." She murmured. He continued to brush through her hair and thought about the approaching confrontation between himself and InuYasha. He was sure Saeka would alert everyone and they'd be out to kill him in minutes. He knew that only InuYasha and Kagome remained of the original group he'd fought with almost nine years ago. He wasn't sure where Sango and the monk where, but he wasn't too concerned. If he could only convince InuYasha that he had changed, then he wouldn't have to worry about them for some time. In any case, InuYasha was his biggest worry because of the Tetsuaiga. He knew what the Wind Scar could do. He'd been hit with one before and it wasn't pleasant.

As he was thinking, the tie holding her hair back snapped suddenly and he yanked his hand away in shock. She groaned and reached behind her head, removing the string that had been her taut tie. " Dang it, this was my favorite one, too." She grumbled. He watched as her pure white hair fell in waves over her shoulders and down her back. It was longer than he'd first thought. She sighed irritably and reverted back to her position. In his view, she looked a lot like her mother would only with white hair instead of a shade from black.

" Stupid hair tie." She grumbled. He smiled lopsidedly and resumed weaving through her hair. It was even softer without the tie. Once again, he felt her tension slowly ease away with the soothing rhythm of his fingers in her hair.

" Naraku?" she murmured.

" Yes?"

She gazed up at him; her emerald eyes sparkling " Thanks." She said. She placed her head back on her upraised arms and closed her eyes.

He sighed and looked out over the water.

I never want to go back.

A/N: The next book is up. Mind you, this might be the last one in the series. But I'm actually working on another book that will follow this one if it's the last called The First Legacy. I'll leave you to decide what it's about. You should probably remember. And Silentmoondemon, I want you to promise not to kill me at the end of the series. You probably won't like it. I have my dreamcatcher you know!