I'm sorry
Disclaimer: Seriously, I'm not good enough to write Twilight so obviously I don't own the story or characters. DUH! (:
Prologue
My name is Bella Swan. I'm not your normal teenager. I hang around by myself. Everyone's just plain scared of me. I'm what you may call an EMO.
I've been kicked out of 3 different schools and been in prison more than once. I've even been admitted to hospital due to suicide attempts. But none of this meant anything anymore. I was stuck in this life and I would just have to live it. You may all be wondering how this started, so let me explain it a little bit.
2yrs ago.
I was sitting on the lunch table with my friends. I looked up and saw the school hottie, Josh, walk up to me. He showed me his 'sexy' smile and winked at me before sitting down. He moved his chair closer to mine and started rubbing his leg up against mine. He bought his head close to my face and I could feel his breath against my skin.
'Do you wanna meet up after school babe?' He muttered into my ear. I had the eyes of everyone on the table on me. I nodded numbly.
*Ok, thinking about it now, I should have seen it coming, but I was such a complete prat, I didn't.*
I got into his car with him. Driving erratically, he locked the doors. I gulped looking at him.
'Wha... What are you doing?' I muttered. He smiled slyly.
'I was dared to see how far I could go with you. I have a lot riding on this, so you had better be good and no one will get hurt.' He muttered evilly, pulling onto a dirt track, well away from the main road.
He leaned over and started kissing me. His hands grabbed my breasts and I could feel him straddling me. I pushed him away.
'Get away from me you perve!' He shook his head at me before replying.
'Don't tell me you don't like this, I know you do.' He said again before kissing me again and running his hands up my legs to the base of my skirt. (Why the HELL did I have to wear a skirt?!!) I felt him go hard against me as he pushed my legs apart and moving closer to me.
Whilst he unbuckled his trousers, I knew I had to act fast. I reached out for anything sharp I could find. Grabbing the nearest thing I could, I plunged it deep into his back. He immediately went limp on top of me, and I managed to push him off. Fumbling for the lock, I wretched the door open before running to the main road.
*And of course people made up the story. I arranged to meet up with him and planned to kill him. Yes, that's right. I killed him. I couldn't help it that the object I had grabbed was a knife. Anyway, carrying on with what happened next.*
It had started raining as I stumbled home. Cold rain mixed with my hot tears. Reaching my front door, I pulled it open, and shut it quickly before collapsing against it. My brother came out.
'Geez Bells! I was about to send out a search party...' he trailed off as soon as he saw me. I was covered in blood and going hysterical.
'GET IT OFF OF ME!! PLEASE! JUST GET IT OFF!' I screamed, scratching at my skin, trying to get the blood off of me. I looked up at Emmett who just looked confused.
'I didn't, I didn't mean too. His hands were everywhere,' I spat, before breaking down in endless sobs.
*God knows what poor Emmett did. Somehow he managed to get me showered. Thankfully, the police believed me, but nobody else did. Even my friends left me. In the end, I went completely off the rails, not even my brother knew what to do.*
Sitting down in the bath that was full of boiling hot water, I got the pair of scissors, and like I did every evening, I let them sink in the water, waiting for them to get hot. Trailing my hand up and down my left arm, I looked at the scars that covered it. Most of them were fading as Emmett had hidden my scissors, but now that I found them, I could begin again like I had done in the past.
Picking the scissors up from the bottom of the bath, I opened and applying as much pressure as I could, I bought the razor down my skin. Hissing in pain, I watched in satisfaction as the water turned from a clear colour to a blood red. Doing it again, I suddenly realised how deep I had actually cut.
Shit. If Emmett finds out he's gonna fucking kill me. I thought as I dragged myself out of the bath. Blood dripped onto the floor before I found a towel to stop the blood from leaving my body.
*After this, it suddenly got a lot worse. Josh's sister came to see me after school. I couldn't cope anymore, after all the death threats it just got so bad.*
'Come here bitch while I'm talking to you. You're a murderer do you know that? It should have been you that died that night, not him. I'm going to hunt you and your family down, and murder you all one by one.' Josh's sister yelled at me as I walked away from her. I turned round and smirked at her.
'You know what? That was the best night of my life. The day that bastard left, never to come back again.'
After that statement, she came at me. Grabbing my hair, she smashed my head into her car wind, smashing it and causing me great pain.
'Take that back,' she whispered into my ear. I started laughing as she once again smashed my head into the car. 'I said, TAKE IT BACK!' I stopped laughing as I twisted out of her grip. She advanced towards me before she realised what was in my hand.
It was my pen knife I kept in my pocket for moments like this. Pulling it towards myself I laughed harshly before speaking to her.
'You think that I fear death? You think you would see me beg for mercy before you actually killed me? I would have welcomed all the pain you gave to me. But I would much rather kill myself knowing that you would never get the pleasure to do it for me.' And with that I pulled the knife against my skin the hardest I had ever done before.
A couple of moments later, my whole body went limp and the knife fell to the floor. I crashed to my knees, gasping for air. As I laid down, waiting for death, I heard one voice. One voice that still haunts me, even now.
'Bella? Oh my God! BELLA! Stay with me now! What have you done to yourself?'
*So after that I was admitted to a lunatic's home. According to Emmett they would keep me 'safe'. Little did he know it took 3 of them to keep me pinned down to sedate me.*
Pulling my little box out from under the bed, I opened it to see the blade, shining at me, taunting me almost. Smiling to myself, I raised it to my skin and started pulling it across, sighing in satisfaction and I felt the skin rip. How easy this was.
'Bella! STOP!' Damn it. One of the nurses came in. Pushing a small button, more people came in, including 3 huge men. Hell! They could give Emmett a run for his money.
'Give me the knife. We don't want anyone else to get hurt.' One of the men said advancing towards me.
'Say please.' I muttered.
All 5 men lunged towards me. Using my knife as a weapon, I lashed out hitting as many people as possible. It didn't last long though. I was tackled to the ground while a delightful nurse sedated me. I thrashed around, kicking and biting anyone I could reach.
5 minutes later, I went limp again as the sedative took effect.
'There now, there's a good girl. Good to sleep and the better you are, the sooner you'll get out of here.' The nurse said loudly, as if I was 6, not 16.
Smiling to myself, using all the energy I had left, I spat into her face before the darkness took control of me once again.
*6 Months later, I was let out. Everyone knew who I was. I was the nutter who would attack anyone if they so much as looked at me. Renée, my mother, couldn't control me anymore, so I was sent to live with my dad, Chief Swan. What fun. Let's go live with a policeman with my record. He was not impressed when I started being bought into his police station.*
Six policemen surrounded me with their guns pointed and loaded. I stood in the middle of their little circle, hands in the air, holding my knife as I did so.
'Drop the knife. Or we will be forced to take action.' One man yelled out.
'What action will that be officer?' I asked innocently, as I got tackled to the ground. I screamed as my knife was taken away from me and I felt the hand cuffs go round my wrists. Thrashing around, it took 3 guys just to hold me whilst I was standing.
Being bought into the station, the first person I met was Charlie.
'Hi Dad.' I spat at him. He looked at me with a look in his eyes that showed me he wanted to kill me.
'Take her to the cell and leave her there. She can stay there for the week.' He said to the officers holding me.
My eyes grew wide in shock at what he said. I panicked, throwing myself down onto the floor as I was dragged into the cell.
'Dad? DAD! DON'T!! PLEASE DON'T!! I'M STILL YOUR DAUGHTER!! FORGIVE ME! I didn't mean it. I never mean any of it.' I Screamed as the door was slammed in my face.
'Please?' I whispered as the tears started up again.
*So that's pretty much my life. Many of you out there will probably think she's making up. That I'm a little attention seeker. But the truth of it is. I scare myself. I do all those things because I'm scared.
What I didn't realise though, was how much my life was going to change dramatically. I would hate it, but when it became better, it would be too late, and all I knew would be taken away from me.*
Duh duh DUH! Hope you like it guys! It's gonna be wayyy better than my other fanfic I can just tell! :D Sorry that this chapter is really cheesy, It will get better and it will calm down abit.
Well, you know the drill review. Was it good or bad? Ideas on how to make it better. ANYTHING! (:
Your darling writer
Shady8967
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