Friends

By Bren Ren

Summary: Steps toward reconciliation for Luke and Lorelai

She rounded the hay bale corner and nearly walked right into the plaid chest of Luke. She stumbled backwards a step, and he automatically reached out to catch her, his hand snaking around her waist.

"Sorry," she managed softly.

"Sorry," he replied. He let his hand drop.

They stood there for a moment, just taking in each other's presence.

"So… how are things?" Lorelai attempted a friendly smile, but she felt it coming out like a grimace.

Luke smiled. "Good, good. April's here… somewhere, lost her a few turns back," he said, glancing over his shoulder.

"Oh… that's great." For a woman of many, many words, her tongue seemed to be escaping her today.

"And you?" he asked.

She paused, catching her lower lip with her teeth at the corner of her mouth. Her breath caught in her throat a moment before she could speak.

"Good, really. All things considered."

"All things," he repeated. He frowned for a second before continuing. "I heard… about you and… and Christopher. I'm… sorry that didn't work out for you." His jaw clenched, one small muscle twitching slightly.

Lorelai sucked in a short breath. She really hadn't expected to find herself talking to him about that. She shook her head gently. "I'm sorry, too… for everything."

They stood, eyes locked in silent communication for a long moment. Her eyes searched his, seeking and finding understanding and acceptance. The corners of her mouth turned upward ever so slightly; he braved a small smile just for her.

"We all make mistakes, and we both managed the hugest ones. I never should have shut you out the way I did…It wasn't just once, it was over and over again, and if I had it all to do over…"

"Unfortunately life doesn't come with do-overs. I wish it did… there's a lot I'd like to do over." She swallowed hard once before speaking her next difficult words. "I never should have gone to Christopher…and I certainly shouldn't have kept going back. Or getting married to him. It never felt right. I tried so hard to make it feel right, but it just didn't… It was wrong. It was the wrong life, it was someone else's life I was living, and I kept waiting to wake up from this dream that felt so wrong, waiting for it to start feeling right, but the whole time, I knew. I knew it was real and it was my life and I had completely screwed it up again because I went and married a man I didn't really want to be married to…And the worst part is, he knew. The whole time, he knew I didn't really want him, that he really was the rebound, second choice, and he was the one who finally called me on it. It was only then that I realized… he is not, and can never be, 'the one'."

Luke stood quiet for a moment after her torrential outpour, trying to process it all as quickly as he possibly could. He searched her eyes for something, he didn't quite know what, but something important, something only she knew. Something he couldn't quite give voice to.

"I thought I knew. I thought it was you for so long… I don't know how I thought I could replace that with anyone else. I'm sorry, so very sorry, Luke." She finished with a slightly husky voice, her eyes beginning to brim with unshed tears. She blinked fast to clear them.

"Lorelai… I'm not sure where to go from here." Luke was still staring into her eyes, deeply and frighteningly close. She idly wondered when they had gotten so close.

Lorelai sucked in a brave gulp of air before speaking again. "Well, if we go back that way, we just wind up back at the beginning," she said, glancing behind her back. She turned back and offered Luke a small smile.

He returned it with a slight grin of his own. "If we go that way, we end up walking in circles."

Lorelai looked around, spotting an opening between hay bales a couple of yards behind Luke. "Or we choose door number three and hopefully find our way out of this mess and on with our lives."

"I like door number three," he returned.

"We can do this, can't we? Be friends." She glanced at him with eyes suddenly gone shy.

"Sure we can. We have been all along." His eye contact never wavered from her, and for the first time in a long time, it felt good to bask in Luke's stare.

"We have, haven't we?" She replied in a soft voice. "That's something. Something important, something special… Something we can hold onto."

"Hold on as tight as you need." He stared at her a moment longer, his smile growing, before he turned away, gesturing with his arm for her to proceed.

Lorelai began walking toward the opening when she felt a slight pressure at the small of her back, from Luke's hand. She let go of the tight rein and a great big smile broke free, lighting up her eyes. Things were going to be good again, she knew.