The Worst Day Ever
Leslie just wants to be alone after the craziest of days. But Kelly has something to tell her. Severide/Shay. One Shot. Takes place directly after that crazy finale!
The ride back to the apartment was quiet and Leslie Shay was glad. As she walked up the stairs to the huge space she shared with Kelly Severide, just lifting one foot at a time seemed like an impossible task.
Her limbs were heavy. Almost as heavy as her eyelids. But neither were as heavy as her heart.
Kelly was at her back, dragging his feet up the stairs as well. They no longer had to put on the uncomfortable and awkward smiles they put on for Renee in the privacy of their home. Once they'd both reached the door, Leslie just leaned against the door frame. Kelly reached around her and unlocked it.
They said nothing as they removed their shoes in the foyer. They said nothing as they went up the spiral staircase to their rooms. They said nothing as they retreated to their own beds.
Leslie didn't let her eyes water or even a little tear fall from her face until her door was shut. She rushed over to her queen sized bed, dived into the blankets face down and put a pillow over her head. She squeezed her eyes shut and let a painful sob out of her mouth.
Now she could cry.
And she cried for what felt like hours. Leslie tried not to relive the day. The day was officially over. Why torture herself? Except, this day would probably never leave her mind. With her face buried in pillows, she wept because she'd never felt so defeated.
And then it got hot under those pillows. She could barely breathe because of all the carbon dioxide her body was producing. Leslie pulled the pillow off her face, rolled over onto her back and wiped her eyes.
'You just can't turn that EMT shit off, can you, girl?' She thought. It was her paramedic skills combined with her keen eye for observation that told her what was happening before her brain had time to fully register. Leslie saw the protective body language of Renee, the tell tale belly hold and she just... knew. She knew about two full seconds before Renee even said anything. And the look on Kelly's face when he turned to look at her...
Leslie closed her eyes again and felt another pang of agony rising in her chest. His face said, 'I can't believe this is happening.' Leslie couldn't believe it either.
After everything she'd been through trying to get pregnant, of course Renee waltzes back into town and takes from her the one thing she wanted most.
She didn't like Renee. She almost succeeded in taking her best-friend away from her, for some stupid move to Spain. That made smiling in Renee's face tonight even harder. In the beginning she didn't really care much either way. Because, honestly, this is Kelly Severide we're talking about here. Renee just seemed like the flavor of the month. The exotic beauty with the perfect cheekbones was a nice addition to the 'Kelly Collection of Beautiful Babes.'
That's what she called Kelly's exes. Those women were undeniably gorgeous. All of them. His taste in women was exquisite. It drove Leslie nuts because she had great taste too. And as she'd seen with her own two eyes her best-friend was not above screwing her ex-girlfriend. But, oh hell, sometimes she ended up lusting after his latest one night stand, too. That was usually all Kelly had: one night stands.
Leslie didn't want to admit that she was jealous. Not of Renee. Not of her baby. But she was. She wanted a baby. A new wave of tears hit her and she covered her face with her hands to cry some more.
She must have done a very poor job of concealing her sad sounds, because she jumped when Kelly knocked on her door.
Through her despair she cried out, "Go away!"
"Shay... c'mon, lemme in."
She tried to dry her eyes, but her hands were already damp with tears. Glancing at the digital alarm clock on her nightstand, Leslie saw that it was 2:13 a.m. They got in late after chatting with Renee... Leslie was sure Severide would be fast asleep by now.
Kelly took her silence to mean you can come in, however after the day she'd had he didn't want to just barge in. He stood there in the hall, one hand on the doorknob.
Finally he heard her sigh from inside. She said, "Get in here."
He opened the door and gave her a sheepish smile. Leslie was sitting up in bed now, her hands in her lap. He shut the door behind him. Even though they were the only people here, Kelly knew that it irked Leslie when he opened her door and left it ajar. It was one of those little things about her. A thing you can only learn by living with someone.
"I'm sorry, I - "
"Stop. It's not your fault," she said holding up her hand.
"It is my fault," he said, moving across the room in the darkness towards her bed. Kelly perched on the edge. With her eyes fully adjusted to the lack of light, she could see that he was wearing pajama pants and nothing else. Leslie hadn't even gathered the strength to put on her pajamas. That was how rough this day had been.
"Damn swimmers."
She shook her head and in spite of herself she smiled.
"Kelly, seriously, go to bed."
"I have to talk to you," he said, looking up at her. She could tell he was still exhausted from his voice alone.
Leslie shook her head again, "Nu-uh. No. Whatever it is, it can wait until the morning."
"It's already morning."
"OK, the afternoon."
"Leslie."
The use of her first name gave her pause. At this point, she was running on fumes. She was all cried out. Her body ached. Her heart ached. If he was springing something else horrible and depressing on her, she was gonna punch him in the throat.
"What?" She finally squeaked out, her throat dry and scratchy from crying.
"I want us to try again."
Leslie groaned. "You cannot be serious."
"I *am* serious." His voice took on a strong tone. "I made a promise to you. And I'm not gonna break it. It wouldn't be right."
"And so you're gonna what? Be me and Renee's baby daddy? Split the duties 50-50? If that's the case, Kelly, we're gonna need another crib."
There was a long silence. Kelly turned his head away from her.
"I haven't thought of all that yet."
Leslie laughed. It was also dry and came out more like a squeak. She sank down into the bed and groaned. Her groan then turned into a moan and then into more tears of confusion. Kelly shifted. He scooted closer and rubbed her arm.
"Don't cry."
"How can I not?" She closed her eyes. "I can't win. No matter what I do, I can't win."
"What are you talking about?"
Leslie tried to hold her tongue, but she couldn't. "It's like the world is saying, 'You shouldn't have a baby. Not like this, it's not natural.' "
"Leslie, c'mon."
"I feel like I'm doing everything wrong."
Kelly sighed. "You know that's not true. You're gonna get through this. You're gonna have a baby of your own. We can do this together."
"No," she whispered. "You're going to marry her. You're going to marry Renee and be a great, *great* father to her baby. Because it's the right thing to do. And you know it."
"I don't know what I'm gonna do next," Kelly said as he pulled away.
"Yeah, well, me neither." Leslie held back the few little tears she had. If she didn't, all her pillows would end up soaking wet.
Kelly looked away. "You're technically already a mother."
"What?"
"Henry."
She'd completely forgotten.
"You're a godmother," said Kelly as if it was the greatest thing in the world to be a godmother.
And for a moment, Leslie believed that it was. She sat up, scooted over to Kelly and threw her arms around him. How could she forget? That had happened today, too. It didn't take away the pain of knowing she wasn't pregnant. And it didn't make Renee's return any easier to deal with, but it was only good thing that had happened to her today.
Her godson. She had a godson. She'd never been a godparent to anyone before. All the things she felt in the hospital room, came rushing back. All the joy and excitement. Leslie let Kelly go and sniffled.
"Thanks."
"Anytime."
"Go to bed."
"Yes ma'am." Kelly smiled and Leslie smiled back.
He stood up, crossed the room, opened the door and shut it behind him.
I don't own Chicago Fire, this is just for entertainment. No lawsuits. Please comment