Gibbs' thoughts were broken by the shrill ringing of his phone. He decided to ignore it and continued carefully sanding his boat. The ringing stopped only to start again a few seconds later. He muttered under his breath. Couldn't whoever it was just leave him alone? He didn't want to talk to anyone. He went over to his work bench and answered it with a gruff 'what?'.
"Um, hey boss," he heard Tony's voice. "Sorry to call but, uh -,"
"Spit it out, DiNozzo," Gibbs said.
"I just wanted to check you were okay," Tony said, he spoke so quickly it took Gibbs a few seconds to process it.
"I'm fine, DiNozzo," Gibbs growled.
"It's just we were wondering when you're coming back to work?" Tony asked. "None of us have heard from you. You're not in Mexico again are you?"
"No," Gibbs said, "I'm taking time off; it's between me and the Director."
"Okay, boss it's just that -," Tony said, but Gibbs hung up. He wasn't up to this now.
It had been three long weeks since that fateful day when Jenny had been killed. Gibbs remembered calling her to confront her about her involvement in La Grenouille's death and the feeling of his stomach sinking when he heard Tony's apprehensive voice. At first he couldn't believe it.
He had been so angry. He had lost her all those years ago when she had walked out of his life, he didn't think he could bear losing her again. But she was gone. After the case had been finished he had requested immediate leave from Vance. He had retreated to his basement and drank himself into oblivion.
In these last few weeks, he had been through more bourbon than he remembered drinking in years. He just couldn't face the painful memories. He had lost her again. His Jenny… she was gone and she wasn't coming back. How could he go on? How could things ever go back to the way they were?
Ducky had visited a few times in the first week. He was concerned, and so were the rest of his team. Gibbs had refused to talk about Jenny and Ducky had given up eventually, deciding to give him space.
He knew he had to face reality eventually. He had to go back to work and get on with his life. But it all seemed so hard now. He remembered the times he and Jenny had shared. He remembered her laugh and her smile. She was so infuriating but at the same time so endearing. He needed her.
He knew now that he loved her, he had just been too proud to admit to himself before. He had been angry at her for leaving him in Paris all those years ago. He regretted not admitting it earlier, for not telling her how he felt. He wished this nightmare would end and she would walk down his basement stairs as she had done so many times before with that teasing smile on her lips.
But he knew that would never happen again. His redheaded angel was gone.
**
Tony, Ziva, McGee were all down in Abby's lab. It was getting quite late at night but they had just finished a case. Their suspect had given a full confession. Abby's computer screens were plastered with images of Gibbs, just like when he had gone on hiatus in Mexico.
"He'll be back," Tony said.
"How can you be so sure, Tony?" Ziva asked, "After all, he was in a bad state after he heard about Jenny."
"Because he's the boss," Tony said.
"He has to come back," Abby said. "He can't just leave."
"Vance said he was taking some time off," McGee said, "He probably just needs some time to get his head around things. He and Director Shepard were very close, after all."
"But this isn't just a tough case," Tony said, "This is about Jenny. What if he's gone back to Mexico?"
"What happened to 'he'll be back'?" Ziva asked.
"I don't know. I'm not sure about anything anymore!" Tony said, "Director Shepard is gone, Gibbs is 'on leave'."
"Maybe we should go and see him," Ziva suggested.
"He'll just yell at us to leave," McGee said. "He's probably drinking bourbon in his basement."
"We have to do something," Abby said. "We need to show him love and support."
"I don't think he'll appreciate us intruding," McGee said. "The boss is a very private person after all."
"Yeah," Tony said, "He hung up on me when I called. Remember?"
"Well what are we supposed to do?" Ziva asked.
"I don't know," Tony admitted. "We wait, I guess."