Date sent: 08 December 1999 From: THEDAMNBEE Subject: Christmas 2003. Will Scully have to celebrate it without her partner? Where the hell is Mulder?
Like the boxes on my loft (1/1) A Christmas story
Author: THEDAMNBEE Email-address: THEDAMNBEE_sas@excite.de Category: Mulder/Scully friendship or romance Spoiler: Post-Modern Prometheus, Fight the Future Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully and all the other wonderful characters don't belong to me but the incredible Chris Carter, FOX and Ten- Thirteen Productions. The story is invented by me and belongs to my fantasy. I don't make any money with it, so don't sue, I have no money:-)
Summary: It's Christmas 2003 and a letter from Mulder she finds on her loft reminds her of her former partner who left her 3 years ago after the consrtium had killed Samantha. Will she ever meet him again? Will things still be the same?
Author notes: This is my first attempt to write fanfiction, and I'm German, so please forgive me any mistakes.
Feedback, criticism and comments are welcome. Please don't hesitate and write to me. My Email-address is THEDAMNBEE_sas@excite.de Like the boxes on my loft A Christmas story
Part one New York City 9 PM, December, 21st 2003 Dana Scully's apartment
"The same procedure as every year", Dana Scully thought when wrapping the Christmas presents for her family. "Damn it!" she said when recognizing that she had forgotten some paper for her mother's present. It was not the first time for 3 years since she had left Washington D.C. and taken the new job at a medical laboratory in New York that she forgot a thing. Her new job was really hard - including working at night.
She did so last night and - by God - she was not in the mood now to go to the paper shop, a 100 Santa Clauses crossing her way and everybody wishing her "Merry Christmas" and "A happy new year". Happy new year? Had she ever been really happy during the last three years?
She switched the light on and made her way through the masses of boxes filled with different material of her time in Washington, her childhood and the time when she was a teenager. Sometimes she thought of putting all this stuff away but somehow she couldn't. She believed that each thing was a piece of herself, a piece that let her become the person she was now.
"Dana Scully, you're getting sentimental once again" she thought and walked straight to the box with the old paper and opened it. "Ah, here it i...... ." Suddenly Scully froze when she looked at the thing in her hand. It was a letter whose sender had written "SCULLY" on it in a handwriting Scully knew and that made her heart beating faster. She didn't want to open it because she knew what was in it would hurt her once again but somehow hypnotized she finally opened it.
Tears got in her eyes when she started reading:
"Scully", it said, "You know I'm not a very good writer but anyway I cannot go away without explaining you why I have to go this way. Did you ever thought things would run as terrible and unfair as this? They stole me everything when they killed Samantha and they killed me when they made me leaving you, my partner, my friend, the person I feel so close to that it scares me. Maybe you will hate me for this, for leaving you but I have to think things over and I have to escape from this city, this job, everything that reminds me of my sister and her death. I can no longer do this job, the X FILES because I see no sense anymore in searching for the truth. They took my reason for searching. I will not and I cannot let you live and work with a man who lost his aims and himself. Dana, I beg you, do not search for me but live your life and do not think you could have done anything against my decision. You have to go your way and I have to go mine. You always respected me and my wishes and I know you will now. Maybe someday you will understand and you will not hate me anymore. Forgive me. Love, F.Mulder"
"Oh yes, I hated you Fox Mulder and I think I still do", she cried, tears running faster.
Suddenly she heard the telephone ringing, so she tried to clear her mind, she took the letter with her and ran downstairs to the phone.
She took a long breath before she answered. "Scully", she said, trying to sound calm so that whoever was on the phone would not notice her having cried before.
"Agent Scully? Walter Skinner here. I hope you still know me."
"Skinner?" Scully asked, "I did not expected it to be you, Sir. How are you?"
"Fine, thanks, Scully. But by the way, you sounded as if... as if you had cried", her former boss asked politely.
"Oh, yes....uhm.... I excited myself about a thing...well, nothing really important, Sir."
Skinner knew what might have excited her, she was still suffering. Although she had always been trying to hide her feelings he knew that Mulder's decision to leave her without saying where he wanted to go to 3 years ago was the reason to cry. And he could understand her because he was sure that their feelings for each other were not only the feelings friends or lovers had for each other. It was more. It was what most people were searching for but could seldom find.
"However", he tried to change the topic because he knew Scully was not the person who would discuss her problems on the phone, "Agent Scully, I have a meeting with Director Kurtz, the new FBI Director and so I'll make it short."
What could it be that made Skinner phoning her after 3 years, Scully thought and sat down near the phone, the letter still in her hand.
"Well", Skinner went on, "After you and Mulder had left the FBI and the X FILES we tried to find anybody to fill this blank and what do I say, we failed several times. The fact is Scully, nobody was able to do the work with that kind of success you and Mulder had and now I'll ask you only once whether you come back and do your old job, or not."
Scully was shocked of Skinner's directness. She would have expected everything but this. Her old job - she loved it once and she loved it still - but the thing she knew was she would not do it without him, her partner, the one she thought she hated. Where the hell was he?
"If you'd asked me when things were different, when..." Scully stopped. She could still feel the pain inside herself.
"Scully", Skinner interrupted her, "I know what I ask you for but I fear that they might close the X FILES forever if you don't come back- with or without Mulder."
"Sir, I have been searching for him a long time now and god knows I would give my everything to have him here but I'm tired. I would like to start my life again without Fox Mulder..."
"I suppose he is still in your mind Scully, isn't he?"
Scully did not answer. She knew he was right.
"I only want you to think it over, Scully. And you have to decide what is best for you. I will accept every decision and call you back after Christmas. Goodbye."
"Goodbye", Scully said but Skinner had just hung up. She was paralyzed by his words and staring at the letter in her hand she heard them again and again: "He is still in your mind, isn't he?"
"Yes, damn it, he is."
Scully walked into kitchen, back into her living room, into the kitchen and again into her living room. She was nervous. She looked again at the letter Mulder had given to her and held it against her nose. She could smell his after-shave, could see his face, his beautiful eyes full of passion and mystery. She could hear his laugh and he had been the only person who had ever been able to make her laugh. She saw everything she had been missing for so long and suddenly she decided to change this. She did not want to miss even a piece of him, a laugh, a tear any longer. She had to find him, to comfort him, but where the hell could he be? Where would he go to if he wanted to think things over? He must have told anyone. He'd always cared about her and he still did, Scully thought. So he need to be informed by somebody if anything would ever happen to her . Who could be such an informer?
Yes, everything became so clear to her. She had been such an idiot. There was only one person Mulder could contact if he wanted to be informed about her: her mother, Margaret Scully.
Scully picked up the phone and dialled her mother's number, still running out of and into the kitchen.
"Margaret Scully", a friendly voice answered.
"Mum, it's me. I know that you know it, so don't try to deny it", Scully said angrily, "Where is Fox, mum?"
There was silence. Obviously, her mother did not know what to say and how to explain.
"Dana, honey, I'm so sorry, but I had to promise...I had to..", Mrs Scully tried to calm her daughter although knowing that it was impossible.
"Mum, don't tell me he forced you, he begged you, he tried to shoot you or he turned a somersault. I have wasted enough time, so where is he?" Scully's tone became sharper.
"Okay, the last time he phoned me, he said he was in Rhode Island, their former summer residence.... Dana, he said he needed time. He was so upset and depressed, he did not want to bother you with this..."
Scully could not believe what she heard. "He did not want to bother me? Why the hell not? Did he ever think of the fact that this would depress me? Did he ever think of the fact that he means so much to me?" Scully became angrier.
"Dana Katherine Scully! Why do you tell me that? Tell him. And by the way, we can discuss everything on Christmas Eve. Meet you then. Charlie will also be there."
"Mum, forget our meeting."
"What? Do you mean..."
"I think I have to meet a good old friend, mum, if he wants it or not", Scully replied. "See ya." Then she hung up. Margaret Scully started smiling. Her daughter, always self- controlled and rational thinking had become emotional. There was only one person who could make her getting emotional and she was relieved that she had told her where this person could be found.
Part two The Mulders' residence Rhode Island December, 22nd 2003 9:30 PM
"Oh my god!" Dana Scully thought it to be colder than in New York and she was freezing when she walked up the way to this little house at this wonderful place. She could imagine why Mulder had always told her that he'd liked to stay here with his family when he was younger. It was the only house she could see and it had some kind of romantic atmosphere. The snowing got more intensive and she went faster, too. The only things she could see were the snowflakes that flew in her eyes.
When she arrived at the house, she couldn't see any light in it and she hoped Mulder was really there.
Her heart started beating faster when she knocked on the door. What would he say to her and what would she answer? Would things between them still be the same? She knocked again but there was no answer. Somehow she was feeling a kind of relief although she knew that she had to meet him, to talk to him about some things that had not been said before if she wanted to get happy and - of course - if she wanted him to be happy. She knocked for a third time but again there was no answer so she went to the backdoor. Mulder had mentioned it once when he had told her about him and Samantha stealing through the backdoor when their parents had permitted them to leave the house. Scully pushed against it and it finally opened.
"Thank you god", she said to herself. Her clothes were getting more and more wet and she had not taken any clothes with her except an old T-shirt and a pair of old blue jeans. When she walked in, she tried to find any kind of a lamp. She finally found one and switched the light on. She walked through another door and saw that the fire in the fire-place was still burning so Mulder must have been here not long ago. Probably he had to get something and would be back soon. Scully put down her bag she had taken with her and pulled off her jacket. Her hair was still wet and cold and so she decided to warm up herself and sat down on a pillow near the fire-place. Holding her hands against the fire, she felt the warmth slowly going through her body and that made her getting more and more tired. Again some thoughts went through her mind. What would Mulder think of her when she told him why she came? Why did she really came ? She even did not know it herself. Would he still be Mulder or would time have changed him? What if he had found another friend? How should she react when facing him again? Dana Scully lend her head against the sofa and fell asleep.
Fox Mulder hated it. He hated Christmas and he hated himself for having been so stupid to went into town just to buy some food, candles and some other stuff that would help him survive the most depressing time of the year. He really hated it. Now he was standing in front of the door, two filled bags in his arms and trying to find the right key. "Oh, come on you damn key", he murmured. Then finally the door opened.
Dana Scully awoke when she heard someone unlocking the door. She stood up and could not say a word when she saw him. There he was, standing 5 metres in front of her, with an open mouth and staring at her the way she stared at him. He hadn't change, wearing a black pullover and jeans. He let the bags fall down, still staring at her. Scully tried to stop the silence.
"Hey, got the PLAYBOY's special Christmas issue?"
"No, they only had a video with some attractive Santa Clauses", Mulder answered and started laughing.
There it was, Scully thought. The smile she had been missing for a long time. She could not help herself and ran to Mulder, then hugging him as strong as she could. Mulder leant his head on her shoulder and pulled her closer. God, she felt good, he thought. He would never let her go, never, but then he reminded himself that he already had and regretted everything. He started crying and Scully caressed his neck. "It's okay, Mulder", she tried to calm him but she couldn't. Tears were running over her cheek as well. Although Mulder's clothes were wet, she could feel a warmth, his warmth. They stood there for seconds, for minutes, or hours - nobody of them could tell. Then Mulder pushed her softly away saying "Scully, you should not have come here...I was just getting through....Oh god, why the hell did you come?"
Mulder could not believe what he had said. He was so happy that she had come but it hurt, it hurt so much....
Scully got angry. "You ask me why I came? You ask me why I came?! Oh, I'm sorry that I disturbed your plans but I was only searching for a person that left me 3 years ago without saying a damn word. Instead he told my mother!" Scully cried in a sarcastic tone. "You ask me why I came?! Mulder you should know!"
"Scully, stop talking to me like that!" Mulder could not see her crying and he did not like her sarcastic tone. "I did not mean...."
Scully did not care. She ran around and went on crying. Okay, she thought, I will tell you, I will tell you. "You want to know why I came, Mulder? You want to know why? I got a call from Skinner, if you know who he is. He asked me to reopen the X FILES...but..."; Scully paused. No, that was not the real reason why she came. "But I told him that I could not reopen the files without you and that you would never come back to the X FILES...."
She stopped again. No, that was not the reason, Dana Scully, she thought.
Mulder looked at her. "You say you came to convince me of joining the X FILES although you knew that I would not agree, Scully?", he asked unbelievingly.
Scully shook her head. "Yes...... no.... I mean..", she stuttered. "Mulder, I missed you, I need you to go on living, I don't care whether you will join the X FILES or not. I could not sleep and I could not breathe...you mean so much to me. I simply missed you and wanted to know that you are OK Why can't you see it, Mulder?"
Mulder was impressed by her directness. She had never said this to him before.
Scully faced him and then turned back. She should not have come. He had been right. She passed him, took her bag and ran outside without saying one more word. Tears still ran over her face.
Mulder tried to stop her and caught her arm but she ran away. "Fox Mulder, you are such an idiot", he said to himself. He started to run and followed her outside. "Not again, he thought, not again."
"Scully! Wait!"
It was still snowing outside and he could hardly see her but at last he reached her, took her arm and wanted to stop her. It was very icy and suddenly, both agents fell into the snow, Mulder lying on his former partner.
Scully tried to get up but Mulder pushed her down. "Mulder! Get away!", she shouted.
"No, I won't go, Scully. I should not have gone 3 years ago."
Scully calmed herself down and looked into his eyes.
"I'm sorry Dana", he said.
Scully still looked in his eyes, she could feel his heartbeat and she knew that what he said was true. Then, she grinned.
"Mulder, I don't know whether you already know it but we are lying in the snow and if you don't get up soon, tomorrow they will find two persons lying in the snow who tried to discuss their problems during a blizzard."
They looked at each other for a second and then could not help but laugh. If somebody had seen them he would have thought them to be crazy or childish. Mulder stood up first and gave her his hand. "Okay, Agent Scully, if you don't like it here then may I offer you my sweet, warm home?"
"Yes, you may", Scully answered and smiled at him. She took his hand and got up. Mulder put his arm around her shoulder and they both went into the house. Nothing had changed, Scully thought. Nothing.
Part 3
"Damn it, Mulder", Scully said to him still freezing when they stood in the house again, "Why couldn't you think things over in Hawaii, for example? It's not that I do not like this place but... oh, it's so damn cold in Rhode Island."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Scully. Can you forgive me this?", he teased her. Scully liked it when he teased her. It made him so puerile. Of course, she liked to tease him as well.
"Well, anyhow, I will look for some clothes for you and you can have a bath if you like. The bathroom is here." He showed her a little room. "And believe it or not - the water is warm."
Scully smiled again. "Thank you Mulder. I think that's exactly the thing I need now." She walked into the bathroom and closed the door.
She turned on the faucet and got undressed. When she was lying in the bath-tub she noticed that for the first time since she had left New York, she felt really relaxed. Any kind of strain had gone. Only one question made her feel sorrowed: Would Mulder agree to join the X FILES again? But suddenly she shook her head. That was not important. The main thing was that he lived and he was here with her. And she noticed that Mulder had not seemed to be such depressed anymore. Perhaps he had got over Samantha's death. It was hard and she knew it herself how hard it could be. She had felt terrible when Melissa had been shot. For some time there had been a big gap in her life.
Then there was a soft knocking at the door. "Scully? I got some clothes and a bathrobe for you. But I don't know if you will like it."
"Why not?", Scully asked.
"Well, uhm... I only found an old night-dress of my mum or I can offer you one of my large shirts."
Scully had to laugh. "I think I will take a shirt of yours, Mulder, that'll do."
"Okay if you want so. I will lay it down in front of the door."
"Thank you, Mulder."
Two minutes later, Mulder knocked again at the door.
"Scully?", he asked.
"Yes?"
"You can swim, can't you?"
This big child. "Oh, go away Mulder!"
Half an hour later, Scully left the bathroom and went into the living room. She wore one of Mulder's white shirts and the bathrobe. The fire of the fire-place was still burning and Mulder had prepared some snacks for them and had lightened some candles. He had also changed his dress and was sitting on a pillow near the fire-place. He stared into the fire and listened to the radio which played old Christmas songs. "Hey", Scully said. "Hey", Mulder turned to her. She looked nice in his shirt and his bathrobe. Scully sat down beside him. They both stared into the fire while listening to the songs the radio played. "Mulder?", Scully whispered and took one of the snacks Mulder had prepared. "Hm?" Again he looked at Scully. "How are you?" "What?" "I forgot the most important thing to ask you because I was so angry." "Oh, you mean the thing about Sam and her... her death. I don't know, Scully. There are days when I can see and feel her everywhere and then there are days when I can forget about it", Mulder told her seriously. "Scully, I know what you are asking for but I don't know if I can already go on working with the X FILES. I mean, tell me the reason why I should start again, why I should go on fighting against the consortium and all this crap. Samantha, she was my motivation and they took her from me. Who will be the next they take from me, Scully? What if it will be you? I don't know what I would do if they.... if they killed you." He looked on the ground. "Fox", Scully took his hand and noticed that it was the first time for years that she had called him by name. But Mulder did not say anything against it. "Fox, I understand you. But they have won if we do not go on fighting against it. And by the way, if they killed me, it would not be your fault. It would have been my own decision and you should never feel guilty for it." "Scully", he interrupted her, "It's no question of guilt. I don't want to lose a person I lo....I mean, I don't want to lose a person who stands so close to me again. I would kill myself if I lost you." Still holding his hand, Scully listened to his words. She suddenly felt a kind of tension between them, a tension she had only felt once so strong when they both had stood in Mulder's apartment and she had told him that she would leave the X FILES. Mulder had told her that he owed her everything. He had held her head in his hands and then they had come closer and suddenly a bee bite her. Sometimes, she was a little bit scared by this increasing tension. "Mulder, you don't need to explain. I just want you to be happy and if you are happier without the X FILES, I will understand. I only want you to know that I'll be there, no matter what your decision will be like." "I know. You were always there, Scully", he whispered. Both looked at each other. Suddenly Mulder stood up and passed her his hand. Scully looked confused. "Do you know this song?" Mulder pointed at the radio. "Yes, I think so, but what...." "Then would you mind dancing with me, Agent Scully? I remember we only danced to the refrain." "Mulder, you are spooky, do you know that?" Scully stood up. "Most people tell me that", he answered and took her in his arms. Scully laid her hands around his neck and they started dancing slowly to the first passages of "WALKING IN MEMPHIS". After a while, Scully looked up to him saying, "Mulder? You just wanted to change the topic, right?" Mulder grinned. "Scully, why do you think of me so bad? I would never do so." "Certainly not." Again, Scully lend her head against his chest. It did not matter. She remembered when they had once danced like this during a Cher concert. She had really enjoyed it. This moments made her feel like a normal person and not an agent of the FBI, always searching for killers, monsters or aliens. She loved Mulder for sometimes giving her such a feeling. Yes, she felt like a normal person but - of course - in the arms of a special person. When the song was over, Scully relaxed the hug softly and told Mulder that she was tired. She really was. Mulder nodded and promised to show her the bed. When they walked up the stairs, Scully touched his shoulder.
"Mulder, you can have the bed if you want. I can take the couch instead."
"Hey, I won't argue about that. Have you ever seen me sleeping in a bed, Scully?"
No, she had not.
"Okay, here it is. Hope you will like it", he said to her when they reached the room.
"Mulder, you could have shown me a bench and I would have taken it." She was really tired.
"Well, I think it's much more comfortable than a bench."
Yes, it really was. It was a big bed with lots of pillows on it. Scully noticed that there were lots of photos hanging on the wall, showing Mulder and his sister in their younger years, their faces smiling. How could this have been destroyed so suddenly? Scully crept under the coverlet and laid down on her side.
"Hope you sleep well, Scully", Mulder said when he wanted to leave the room.
"I am sure I will", Scully replied. When he opened the door, she suddenly turned to him. "Oh, Mulder?" "Yes?" "Would you mind staying here till I fall asleep?" Scully thought this to be childish but she felt better when she knew he was there. "Sure", Mulder shortly replied, walked to the bed and sat down at her side. Scully turned away and after a while, he thought her breath to be calmer and supposed her to have fallen asleep. He put out the candle he had taken with him and watched her sleeping for a while. Then he softly stroke her head with his hand. Everything was so peaceful. "She looks beautiful", Mulder thought. For him, she was the most beautiful woman he knew. Then, he shook his head. How could he think of her like this? God, she was his partner, wasn't she? No, she was more than that, more he ever had expected she would be. With each day that had passed their relationship had become stronger and more close. Even now, he could feel this closeness. He was thankful that she was there. He did not take it for granted that she was. Why shouldn't he let her be the reason, his motivation for going on searching for the truth? She has always been his strength.
He slowly laid down beside her, softly pushing his chest against her back. He did not want to wake her up. His hand searched for hers and he finally took it. Suddenly Scully squeezed his hand but she said nothing. Mulder softly leant his head against hers and she could feel his breath. "Scully?", he whispered, "I took a decision." Scully did not answer. "Would you like to go on searching for aliens and all this stuff with a spooky guy named Fox Mulder?" A tear ran over her cheek. Squeezing his hand stronger she closed her eyes. They were together, again.
Part4
December, 23rd 2003
When Scully awoke next morning, she saw that Mulder was not there anymore. She laid her hand on the side where he had slept and it was still warm. He must have got up some minutes ago. Scully smiled. He had not left her last night. She could smell the coffee and decided to get up as well. After she had pulled on her jeans and Mulder's shirt, she went to the window and all she could see was snow, snow, snow. It must have been snowing all night, she supposed.
She washed herself, combed her red hair and went downstairs into the kitchen. Mulder leant against a chair and stared out of the window. When she went in, he turned to her. "Hey, Scully, would you like to throw some snowballs outside?", he grinned at her. "Later Mulder, perhaps later." She took a cup of coffee and went to him. "Mulder, I have to tell you something that may depress you." "What?" Mulder got serious. Scully could not help herself but smiling when she saw his shocked face. "What?", Mulder asked again. "Merry Christmas, Fox Mulder", Scully said and kissed him on his cheek. "I fooled ya, right?" Mulder laughed. "And this after all that I have done for you, Scully." He took her hand. "However, Merry Christmas for you, too." Both looked at each other. Then Mulder broke the silence. "It has been snowing all night, Scully. I suppose you will not be able to join your mother's Christmas meeting. It's impossible to reach the town, either." Mulder knew that Scully had wanted to meet her family because he had spoken to her mother a week ago. Scully nodded. "I will phone her and tell her that I will meet her later. I think she won't mind." "If Charles is also there, send him the best wishes, Scully." Then, after a while, he admitted, "He hates me right?" Scully nodded. "I don't think he would come to your birthday party, Mulder." "No, probably not." He paused. "Okay then, I will try to find some wood for the fire-place outside. I know it's nearly impossible to find some dry wood but maybe it has dried a little bit so I can use it the next days. Wanna go with me?" "No, thank you Mulder. I don't trust you. You will throw a snowball at me, I am sure." "Who said anything about snowballs, Scully?" "I don't trust you. I think I will go to this little shop I saw at the edge, buy me some magazines and then I will relax a little bit on the sofa." "Okay, if you want so. But, by the way, you don't need to buy magazines. I have some here, Scully." "Mulder, will you really tell me that you have some magazines in which people are dressed?", Scully tried to tease him. Mulder smiled. "Okay, I see it's not good to discuss with you, Scully. Then I will go alone. Bye." "Bye, Mulder. Oh, by the way, if you see an appropriate Christmas tree, take it with you, okay?" "Whatever you want, ma'am", Mulder said and closed the door.
When Mulder came back, it had become dark and he was relieved to reach the house. When he opened the door, he found Scully sitting on a blanket in front of the fire-place. She had lightened all candles she had found and was staring at him with a smile on her face.
"Scully? What did you do?", Mulder asked her confused. "What do you... Oh, you mean the candles and the wine? Well, it's Christmas, right? The fact that we are imprisoned in the snow does not consequently mean that we can't celebrate Christmas, does it?" Mulder looked at her. She was right. But he was surprised of it. "What about you Mulder? Will you tell me, you have been all the time away searching for wood?" "Yes. Believe it or not." Again he went outside and then came back with a small Christmas tree in his arm. "You don't know how difficult it is to get an appropriate tree." He sat it down and pulled off his jacket. Scully smiled. "Mulder, when I said you should bring a tree with you, I did not mean it." He sat down next to her on the blanket. "Well, it's Christmas, right?"
"Right", Scully answered. She could not believe it. Fox Mulder got himself a Christmas tree. The man who said again and again that it was the most depressing time of the year. "Hey, did you phone your mother? Was she angry?" Mulder turned to her. "Yes, I phoned her. She understood everything." "Really? I mean, it destroyed your family meeting. What did you tell her, Scully?" "I told her that there are things in my life that are more important to me, with a person that is more important to me." Scully looked down. Mulder did not know how to react and softly raised her head, putting a finger under her chin. There it was again, this incredible tension between them. But this time, both did not fight against it. Still looking in each other eyes, Scully put her hand around his neck and Mulder caressed her cheek. Scully shrugged when Mulder leant his forehead against hers. Never before had she felt this way. Mulder himself trembled, too. Now, the person he felt so close to was closer to him than ever before. His heart beat faster and he could hear Scully's as well. For minutes they held this position without saying a word. No words were needed. Mulder hesitated to do anything but then softly pulled her closer and leant down to her. He stopped a second and then kissed her lips softly. They looked at each other as if nobody of them knew what was happening to them. "Mulder...." "Scully...." Mulder smiled, then Scully took his hands in hers and kissed him for a second time. Anything they felt was now expressed in this kiss. Never had they thought that they would break down the invisible wall between them and now it had happened suddenly, spontaneous and they could not believe it. Scully started kissing him all over his face and Mulder kissed her neck. Then, she passed with her hands over his chest and stopped at one of his shirt buttons she softly opened. Mulder looked at her and tried to say something. "Scully, are you sur....",he tried to ask when she put a finger on his lips. "Sshh, Mulder", she said, slowly laying down on the blanket. She could feel the warmth of the fire. Mulder carefully leant over her, passing a hand over her head. He gazed in her eyes and kissed her again. "I don't know if it says enough when I say I love you Scully." "I love you, Fox Mulder", Scully whispered. This night, they came closer to each other than humans normally come. The fire was still burning, when Scully awoke in Mulder's arms, both still lying in front of the fire-place under the blanket. It felt unusual and strange but it felt right. Her head laid on his chest and she listened to his heartbeat. Mulder was looking at her without saying a word. She thought he could not believe it either. She kissed his lips and touched his cheek. "Mulder?", Scully asked. "Hm?" "Do you know what you mean to me?" "I think you showed me this night." "No, I mean, if I was asked to describe it." Mulder looked at her confused. "What would you say?" "I would say you are like one of the boxes on my loft. I could never let you go." Mulder smiled. He knew what she meant and held her closer. He would never let her go either. He loved Christmas, he really loved it.
THE END
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