I needed to wash out the bad taste left in my mouth from last week's SDCC fiasco and this is my Listerine.
They're only friends, they're only friends, they're not gonna get together, they're only friends!"
Like a wounded Howler monkey, Agent Winn Schott squeals the protestation at the top of his lungs while pacing around the DEO headquarters. His friends and colleagues watch on with a mixture of humor and irritation as he continues to ramble.
"Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor, it's never gonna happen, people, ever, ev-er!"
Agent Alex Danvers is the first to speak.
"Look, Winn, I'm not exactly thrilled about their — whatever it is you want to call it — either…"
Alex catches a glimpse of Detective Maggie Sawyer in the corner who is unable to contain her knowing smile as she shout whispers across the room for everyone to hear.
"I believe 'it' is called a boatload of sexual tension, sweetie."
"Thanks, Mags."
After giving her girlfriend a wink and the thumbs up, Maggie now turns to Winn, holds up her index and middle fingers at him and wiggles them wildly. The computer guru hides his eyes and grimaces as J'onn J'onzz the Martian Manhunter enters the room.
"What is all the ruckus about?"
No longer silent, CatCo's James Olsen chuckles and nods at his Guardian sidekick.
"Winn believes Kara and Lena are only friends."
J'onn folds his arms and then glowers at Winn.
"Huh, I thought it was something life-threatening, I believe we have more important matters at hand."
"But they are all seeing something that isn't there between Kara and Lena who behave like normal, regular BFFs."
Alex, Maggie, and James respond in unison.
"Sure they do!"
Outnumbered, Winn turns to J'onn.
"Papa Bear, help me out here, please."
"I mind copulate with anyone and everyone in the room, I am not the best judge in this situation, Agent Schott, and stop calling me that nickname, it is irksome."
"Sorry."
"I know I should not be divulging this but, once when I had to scan Kara's thoughts during a security breach, I accidentally stumbled upon a fantasy where she was eating Lena's potstickers… and, well, it had nothing to do with an Asian appetizer."
Both Maggie and James erupt into a fit of laughter. Alex rolls her eyes and sighs.
"Guys, c'mon, J'onn is right, we have a possible Slarxx infestation we need to worry about more than my sister's, ahem, appetite."
Totally ignoring Alex, Winn is now stomping his foot viscously on the floor and waving his hands in the air like he absolutely cares a bit too much.
"But a Luthor and a Super, it can't happen, it just can't happen!"
James mimics Winn's dramatic moves and does a little dance.
"Bro, you really need to dial it back a notch, it's like you've turned into a Broadway star with all of your theatrics."
"Maybe, but a tech nerd pays his bills better than any actor."
"True."
Winn collapses into his ergonomic chair and attempts a logical argument.
"Okay, let's put aside their lineage rivalry for a nanosecond and focus on the fact that Kara Danvers is not gay, she's not, she told me so herself."
Suddenly, Maggie's jovial face turns sober. She looks directly at Alex.
"Do you wanna take this or shall I?"
Alex holds her hand up to her girlfriend and spins around to face Winn.
"You're totally right, my sister is not gay…"
A victorious smirk plasters his face as he folds his hands behind his head.
"See, Alex is the absolute authority on this and she says I'm right."
A perturbed Detective Sawyer narrows her eyes as Agent Danvers clears her throat and winces.
"You didn't let me finish, Winn, Kara is not gay but…"
"Buuut, whaaat?"
"Bisexual, maybe, at least when it comes to Lena."
"Oh, gimme a break, Alex!"
Maggie interjects.
"Why is that so hard for you to believe, we've all seen the way they look at each other, and, trust me, I have been on the receiving end of countless looks like that from supposedly straight women…just ask my new girlfriend."
Maggie and Alex blow kisses to each other. Leaning against the wall in a GQ pose, James tosses in his two cents.
"Don't forget that Kara is also an alien, she could be a lot of things."
Alex switches on the serious tone.
"Unfortunately, when it comes to relationships, we Danvers sisters fall into the 'late bloomer' category because we've been a little distracted all of these years, Kara is still figuring things out for herself but you cannot deny the chemistry she has with Lena, it's like a whole other periodic table."
The DEO's tech guru attempts to push the boulder up Mount Everest one more time.
"But that's natural, best friends have chemistry, James and Kara have chemistry, Kara and I have chemistry."
Agent Danvers goes in for the kill.
"And didn't you both kiss Kara?"
Winn's mouth opens to say something but only a small hiss of air escapes. Maggie raises an eyebrow as James shakes his head. Alex adopts a stank expression on her face.
"That reminds me, last month when I came over to Kara's apartment, I found you, James and Mon-El sitting around the kitchen table playing Yahtzee with her and I thought to myself if it weren't for the dice canister, you all would be gang-banging my sister."
"Whoa!"
James looks for any corner to hide in while Maggie covers her mouth.
"I think I'm going to puke."
J'onn fails to get the painful image out of his head and walks away in silence. Slowly drowning in a frozen lake of his own making, Winn sputters his last defense.
"But that's… but that's… but that's different."
James throws him a very thin, very frayed rope.
"Dude, we all love Kara in our own way and she loves us back, did you ever think she might feel the same for Lena?"
"Sure, as a friend, but I don't think she or Lena will ever go beyond that."
"I thought the same way about Mon-El, you think I liked watching her flirt with that little Daxamite turd?"
Winn remembers how he felt watching Kara flirt with James and slumps his shoulders. James continues.
"But, as an award-winning photojournalist, I can assure you that the camera never lies and what I see through my lens when Kara and Lena look at each other… well, it's a helluva lot more than all of us hombres combined, sorry, man."
"You're killing me, partner!"
Reluctantly, Alex and Maggie reenter the ring. Maggie goes first.
"Agent Schott, I don't know what your hang up is with this — whether it's the Luthor thing or the girl-on-alien-girl thing — but you really need to let it go for the sake of your friend."
"Maggie is right, Winn, as her sister, I would feel a lot safer if Kara was still with that annoying blockhead Mon-El than with a nemesis like a Luthor but it's not for me to say."
"Since when, Alex?"
"Since we've learned our boundaries with each other as adults and whatever happens or doesn't happen between Kara and Lena, they are as valid as any other couple and, ultimately, it's Kara's choice."
Maggie applauds while Alex clenches her jaw and stares out of the large central window.
"And right now, she's deliberately choosing to fly across the Pacific Ocean to find Lena."
Lena Luthor should be on cloud nine. Despite being cloud level in her elaborate penthouse near downtown Osaka, Japan, the L-Corp CEO is anything but happy.
Earlier in the day, she finalized a multibillion-dollar acquisition of Yatagarasu Industries. This particular deal took several years to complete. Lillian couldn't do it. Lex couldn't do it. But when Lena took over her family's company, she relied on patience, persistence, and a lot of hard work for it to happen.
And, it did.
Even when last-minute negotiations threatened to fall apart, she pushed all thoughts of National City aside and handled it like a pro. Like a boss. Like a superhero.
And only a short time ago, throngs of prominent business executives and their glamorous guests were all gathered outside on her rooftop garden, drinking and eating and laughing. A world-renowned DJ was flown in from Las Vegas to spin electro house. A Michelin star chef served his take on sashimi and soba. They were all there to help Lena celebrate her landmark deal.
Sadly, it wasn't enough.
The brilliant L-Corp CEO is always eye candy dressed in her formal work attire but tonight she is beyond breathtaking in a traditional black and white silk kimono with hand-painted cherry blossoms dotting the back. Her raven hair is swept up in a bun sporting a silver beaded kanzashi and her full lips are accented with matte crimson.
After the uncomfortable footwear is kicked off and the festivities dwindle down, Lena laughs to herself as both male and female suitors offer their own version of an after party on their way out. With emphatic politeness, they are all turned down.
Once again, she is alone except for her conflicted feelings for Kara Danvers. Now standing on a small wooden bridge near the end of the garden, the lovely Luthor sips her warm saki and gazes at a giant koi fish in the pond below.
"Why do I always let her do this to me?"
The fish responds with a gulp of its mouth and a swish of its tail.
"It's been a while since the Daxamite invasion and Kara can't return one simple phone call or text?"
The multicolored fish swims away as Lena calls after it.
"She wan't the only one hurt by what happened, you know, she hasn't the slightest clue what I went through with Rhea!"
A curious turtle pokes its head out of the water as she continues with her lament.
"I shouldn't be surprised, though, Kara is a lot like you… disappearing inside her shell and only returning when she wants something from me."
Lena wipes a tear away with her thumb as the turtle continues to stare at her.
"Yet, I keep giving her whatever she desires, every single time."
The patio door slides open. With soft, respectful footfalls, a thin, older man approaches the bridge. He converses with Lena in Japanese.
"Ms. Luthor?"
"Yes, Hitoshi?"
"Is there anything else I can get for you?"
She considers more saki but decides against it.
"Thank you but that will be all for now."
The assistant hesitates and attempts to find the right words.
"There is a bearded man in your guest bedroom."
"Certainly not by my invitation!"
"I believe he is pretending to admire the artwork."
"Oh, I bet that's the prince, he's still chasing me after all of these years… please tell him thank you for attending tonight and then kindly send him on his way, take security if you need to."
"Yes, Ms. Luthor."
He starts to leave but turns back around.
"And there is the matter of a young woman wearing nothing but a gold medal in your jacuzzi."
"Hmm, the Olympic swimmer from Australia… tempting… but she needs to be given a large towel and escorted home."
"Right away, Ms. Luthor."
Lena swallows hard, hoping against hope that a bespectacled female is lurking around the building.
"Anything… or anyone else?"
"I believe that is all."
"Heh, the one person I want here with me is nowhere to be found."
He has a questioning expression on his face as she sends him off with a grateful bow.
"Goodnight, Hitoshi."
"Goodnight, Ms. Luthor.
The assistant leaves the same way he entered and all is quiet again except for the ambient noise of the bustling city. Lena studies the orange glow of a lit stone lantern across the pond. She drains the rest of her drink and then chucks the petite cup against the back wall. Something between and clink and a crack is heard. Ironically, the tiny fragments cascade into the zen garden where a serene Buddha statue mocks her.
"And that's my cue to take a swim."
Heading over the bridge, Lena yanks the kanzashi out of her hair and begins to disrobe. She steps angrily to the upper end of an in-ground lap pool. The Luthor daughter is infuriated that she let Kara rob her of her triumphant moment, yet she is still horny as all hell for her.
Yatagarasu Industries is well known for cutting edge bioengineering and thermodynamics. And that is why it is such a big get. But a not-so-public division of the company specializes in — loosely translated — 'Pleasure Instruments Man Woman Not Childrens.' Also known as, sex toys. It's rescission proof and the quarter numbers are always in the black.
For a brief moment, Lena considers fetching their latest model, the same one she has been using on herself for the past several evenings, but jumps into the water instead. She swims the entire length and back again.
"No more, Kara Danvers, no more Supergirl!"
As the cool water shimmers against her nude body, Lena does not notice the glowing light in the stone lantern suddenly extinguishing. Red booted feet drop from the air and stride confidently in her direction.