YOU MUST READ THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE BEFORE YOU READ THIS STORY!

Whoo. Hope that caught your attention. I just need to explain a bit. This is a play!fic, which I've never seen anyone do before. Hooray for originality! It's based off a play I was in at school this year, called Robin Hood and the Lady of Sherwood. For my best friend's birthday, I re-wrote the script with Merlin characters, since she was in the play with me. Then when I got this account, I thought, why not? Maybe someone out there will find some entertainment from this. So here you are.

Most of the characters are pretty OOC, by the way. This is in no means meant to be taken seriously. Pairings are canon. Spoilers through season four.

I also don't own Merlin.

Enjoy!

Robin Hood and the Lady of Sherwood…

Merlin Style!

In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man… his name? MERLIN!

It is May Day in Camelot. A jousting tournament can be seen getting set up in the background as the knights and ladies dance. Coming out of the castle are Morgana, wearing her usual black dress and crazy hair and makeup, and Mordred, now a strikingly handsome but evil young man in a deep green cloak. They watch the dancing for a time.

MORDRED: I despise May Day.

MORGANA: (her voice oozing with sarcasm) But Mordred dear, it's such a lovely occasion. It's always wonderful to see all the people of Camelot gathering to celebrate the arrival of spring.

MORDRED: But I hate flowers. Don't press me Morgana. I am in a vile temper.

MORGANA: Oh, don't be like that. (Agravaine enters)

AGRAVAINE: Oh, my dear Morgana, how lovely you look in your black dress today.

MORGANA: I always wear black, Agravaine.

AGRAVAINE: Why… of course you do. I merely meant that you look…well…lovely.

MORDRED: What do you want, Agravaine?

AGRAVAINE: Watch your tongue, boy. I am the one in power here, remember? (Morgana slowly draws her knife)

MORGANA: Is that so, Agravaine? I thought we agreed that once we had earned the allegiance of the people of Camelot that I was to be placed into my rightful throne as Queen. You are simply holding the position until we can locate Arthur and execute him.

MORDRED: And do not forget, Lord Agravaine, that Morgana and I both have magic. And you only have greasy hair.

AGRAVAINE: Why… uh…. Yes. I apologize for my…uh…

MORGANA: Stupidity? Nobody likes you, Agravaine. Not even me.

MORDRED: Not even Guinevere and she likes everyone.

AGRAVAINE: Oh… uh… yes…

MORGANA: Just go back in the castle and put more grease in your hair. (Agravaine looks ashamed and he walks back into the castle) Good riddance. That man's such a creep.

MORDRED: I can hardly blame Guinevere for despising him. He's creeped on her too.

MORGANA: We'll kill him as soon as Arthur's dead. Which should be soon, according to our plans…Speaking of which, are you certain they will work?

MORDRED: Of course the plans will work. Everyone knows that it is traditional for there to be a jousting tournament on May Day, and if there's one thing King Arthur can't resist it's a traditional jousting tournament.

MORGANA: And along with him will come his irritating servant, Merlin.

MORDRED: You will have plenty of time to take care of the servant after we have disposed of the king.

MORGANA: And I will look forward to it. (Gwen, wearing her pretty lilac dress from season 4, breaks from the dance and comes over to Mordred and Morgana. They do not see her.) When will the tournament begin?

GWEN: Whatever could we be discussing in such hushed tones?

MORGANA: Guinevere! We were just discussing details about the tournament.

GWEN: Please, Lady Morgana, call me Gwen. All my friends do.

MORGANA: Is that so, Guinevere?

GWEN: Uh… yes… my lady.

MORDRED: Well, I must go off to sharpen my sword. And practice making devilishly handsome evil faces in the mirror- I mean, practice my speech for this evening. (Mordred leaves)

MORGANA: I must be off as well. Good day, Guinevere.

GWEN: Good day, Lady Morgana. (Morgana exits same way as Mordred. The knights, namely Leon, Lancelot, Gwaine, and Elyan, approach Gwen)

GWAINE: Well, aren't those two fun?

ELYAN: The life of the party. What were they saying, Gwen?

GWEN: I'm not sure Elyan. Morgana told me they were just talking about the tournament, but I think there's more than that afoot.

LEON: Like what?

GWEN: They were obviously discussing something of importance… something they didn't want me to hear. I can't help but think it's about…

LANCELOT: About what?

GWEN: About Arthur.

LEON: The king? He's been in hiding for months. No one has seen him for ages.

GWAINE: Or Merlin, for that matter.

LANCELOT: And it had better stay that way until we can figure out where they are. If they even step one foot in Camelot Morgana and Mordred will kill them.

ELYAN: We would help them in an instant, but no one has any idea where they are. It's best to just pretend we're loyal to Morgana until they show up.

GWEN: I don't like it.

GWAINE: No one does, Gwen. But we have no choice.

LANCELOT: Morgana and Mordred would certainly kill us if they knew where our true loyalties lie, and we're no use to Arthur dead.

GWEN: I know, I know. But that still doesn't mean I like it. Let's talk about something happier, it is May Day, after all. Who were those girls I saw you all flirting with earlier?

GWAINE: Oh, you've got it all wrong. These three were just watching in awe as all the ladies professed their undying love for me. I didn't do anything.

LEON: Yeah right, Gwaine. You were practically slobbering all over them.

GWAINE: I do not slobber! But you've got to admit, those ladies liked the look of me…

ELYAN: If only that were true. Now come on, we've got to start preparing for the joust.

LEON: I wish Arthur could be here. He couldn't resist jousting tournaments. Or any kind of tournament for that matter. (Elyan, Gwaine, and Leon exit, ad libbing about the tournament. Lancelot stays with Gwen)

LANCELOT: Gwen, are you alright?

GWEN: Yes, I'm fine. I just really miss Arthur.

LANCELOT: I'm sure he's fine. Besides, he's got Merlin with him.

GWEN: I know, and I'm grateful for that, really. But I don't think Merlin would be much help in the middle of a fight. He can barely wield a sword.

LANCELOT: You'd be surprised…

GWEN: What do you mean?

LANCELOT: Uh… nothing.

GWEN: I'm just worried about what Morgana and Mordred are planning. And I could tell they were plotting something because Morgana would not stop smirking.

LANCELOT: She should really learn to control her facial muscles. She'll never be able to keep a plot secret with that smirk.

GWEN: You should get going, Lancelot. My brother was right, you need to prepare for the joust.

LANCELOT: Yes, I know. I just don't want you feeling…lonely.

GWEN: Thank you Lancelot. That means a lot to me. Now get going or you'll never be ready.

LANCELOT: As you wish, my Lady. (he kisses her hand and exits)

(Gwen watches him leave. As he exits an old man walks on upstage, apparently lost. He is wearing a long red robe and has a long white beard and hair .GUESS WHO?He sees Gwen and walks toward her.)

OLD MAN: Pardon me, my daughter-

GWEN: Ah! Who are you? And why are you calling me daughter?

OLD MAN: Hey, don't freak out! I just called you daughter 'cause that's what we old people do to younger people… call them son and daughter and stuff.

GWEN: I still don't know who you are!

OLD MAN: Fine! I'll tell you. I am called… ahem….DRAGOON! The great.

GWEN: Oh, I remember you! You were the sorcerer who told Uther you'd enchanted Arthur and me to be in love… but weren't enchanted…

DRAGOON: Yes, that was me…

GWEN: And you're the sorcerer who Arthur said killed Uther! (she pulls a knife out of a hidden sheath on her leg) What are you doing here?

DRAGOON: Hey, woah there Gwen! I didn't kill Uther! (he hits his head when he realizes he called Gwen by name.)

GWEN: How did you know my name?

DRAGOON: I know more than you can possibly comprehend!

GWEN: What is that supposed to mean?

DRAGOON: Hey, I don't know! It's worked before!

GWEN: You're making no sense.

DRAGOON: I usually don't. Gah, this went so much better in my head.

GWEN: What are you doing here? Are you coming to make an alliance with Morgana, seeing as you both have magic?

DRAGOON: Why would I ever want to ally myself with that traitor? No, I'm here to warn you. And put that knife away.

GWEN: Why should I? And how can I believe anything you say?

DRAGOON: Because… because… (she gets closer with the knife) I said put that away! (he uses magic to sheath it) That's better.

GWEN: Hey! That's not fair!

DRAGOON: I'm not going to hurt you, Gwen.

GWEN: But you're a sorcerer…

DRAGOON: That doesn't mean I'm evil. I've always protected Arthur. And Camelot. And you, for that matter. You said yourself that you and Arthur weren't enchanted to be in love. But Uther thought you were and was going to execute you.

GWEN: But he didn't… because you told him you did it. And that you'd enchanted me too.

DRAGOON: Exactly!

GWEN: But… why?

DRAGOON: Because I'm your friend. And Arthur's friend. And I always will be.

GWEN: But… I swear I've never actually met you before, but you seem really familiar. Are you in disguise?

DRAGOON: Wow, I'm impressed. Arthur never quite figured that part out.

GWEN: So you are in disguise.

DRAGOON: Maaaaybe. But I digress. I'm here to warn you.

GWEN: Warn me? Of what?

DRAGOON: Arthur's being a complete and utter idiotic prat. And he calls ME the idiot…

GWEN: Wait, what? You know were Arthur is?

DRAGOON: Uh, yeah. I do. But that's not the point. The point is is that no matter what kind of wisdom and counsel his excellent, efficient, intelligent, and underappreciated servant gives him, Arthur is coming to the jousting tournament.

GWEN: What! That's suicide!

DRAGOON: I know, that's what I- his servant told him.

GWEN: Arthur needs to listen to Merlin more.

DRAGOON: Gwen, I always knew you were an incredible and lovely person, but now you've just proven that you are worthy of even greater praise.

GWEN: Is Merlin coming with Arthur?

DRAGOON: No…his royal prattishness is forcing Merlin to stay where they are. He says that the two of them together would be too recognizable. As if Arthur on his own wouldn't be noticed anyway…

GWEN: I must tell the knights.

DRAGOON: Yeah, tell them. Maybe they can intercept him before he gets himself killed.

GWEN: No… I think this is the chance we've been waiting for. This may be our chance get Morgana, Mordred, and Agravaine out of here.

DRAGOON: Oh, yeah. That too. Well, I'd better get going. Don't want Arthur to find me here when he gets here. Bye! (he hobbles offstage)

GWEN: That was strange. And he called Arthur a prat… The only person who calls Arthur that is… But no. That's impossible.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Well? Whaddaya think? Was it stupid? Funny? Just downright strange? I have the whole play written out already, so just let me know if I should continue posting!

In the next section, we meet Percival! And Arthur and Merlin show up! That's exciting! Right?