Title: "Playing Jedi"
Author: Gillian Taylor
E-Mail Address: USSTrustNo1@hotmail.com
Rating: R (for some rather suggestive language)
Category: S/H
Spoilers: Up to and including Season 6
Keywords: Mulder/Scully UST
Summary: Add Mulder, Scully, a fake braid, lightsabres and the Force and you come up with a volatile combination.
Archive: Gossamer, and anywhere else as long as my name's kept on it!
Disclaimer: Ahem. Let's all sing along! Chris Carter, oh can't you see? I know they don't belong to me. They belong to Ten Thirteen. Mulder and Scully and all the rest, they are the best. I'm borrowing them with utmost respect; they'll be home before you guess. And now I will call this lame song to a rest.
Author's notes: Once again, the product of a strange inspiration lies below this note. Only a basic understanding of Star Wars is needed. As long as you know what a lightsabre is and who the Jedi are you'll be fine. Special thanks go to my betas- Crysta, Astoria, and Mrs. H and to my friends and crew on the USS TrustNo1. The Lone Gunpersons rule!
"Playing Jedi"
by Gillian Taylor
SCULLY: Mulder, what are you doing?
MULDER: Practicing with my lightsabre.
SCULLY: You've watched *way* too much Star Wars.
MULDER: Hey! You're just jealous because I'm a Jedi and you're not.
SCULLY: Mulder, having a fake braid tied around your ear and carrying around a 3 dollar lightsabre toy from Walmart does *not* make you a Jedi.
MULDER: It's not fake!
SCULLY: Mulder, I happen to know for a fact that your hair is *not* that shade of brown.
MULDER: Oooh, for a fact huh? What if I dyed it?
SCULLY: What if I took that braid and pulled it off?
MULDER: I like it when you play rough, Scully.
SCULLY: Who says that I'm playing?
MULDER: No...Don't come any closer Scully, or else!
SCULLY: Or else what?
MULDER: I'm going to use the Force!
SCULLY: Mulder, you don't have the Force.
MULDER: Do too!
SCULLY: Ok, then show me. Lift up that pencil.
MULDER: Which one?
SCULLY: The one on your desk, doofus.
MULDER: Doofus? Gee, Scully you're getting so creative with names.
SCULLY: Shut up, Mulder, and lift the pencil with the Force. I dare you.
MULDER: ((concentrating)) I can't get it to lift!
SCULLY: Like I said, you don't have the Force.
MULDER: Uh-huh. It's probably because Cancerman was just in here. The Dark Side seriously impedes my powers.
SCULLY: The dark side.
MULDER: Yeah! He's the prime example of a dark lord of the Sith.
SCULLY: And have you seen *his* lightsabre, Mulder?
MULDER: Now that's rather kinky, Scully.
SCULLY: MULDER!
MULDER: ((soft chuckle)) I don't have to perform 'magic' tricks to prove that I have the Force, Scully. A Jedi does not these things.
SCULLY: I believe that the correct phrase was, 'A Jedi *craves* not these things.'
MULDER: Creative license.
SCULLY: Uh-huh.
MULDER: Really, Scully. I've got the Force. I'm a Jedi.
SCULLY: Then prove it to me.
MULDER: Ok, what do you want me to do?
SCULLY: I want you to...tell Skinner that he needs to give us waivers on the expense report that's due tomorrow.
MULDER: Scully!
SCULLY: Use the Force to make him do it. If you can.
MULDER: Scully, that's straying into the Dark Side.
SCULLY: How?
MULDER: I can't just force someone to do something that he wouldn't normally do.
SCULLY: Well, there goes my next idea for having Frohike confess his undying love to Skinner.
MULDER: ((laughter)) Scully! That's just cruel.
SCULLY: What? He's wanted to do it to me!
MULDER: Yeah, but you're *female.*
SCULLY: And what are you implying?
MULDER: Nothing! Just...
SCULLY: What, Braid-boy?
MULDER: Braid-boy?
SCULLY: Just answer the question.
MULDER: Well I seriously doubt that Frohike leans that way, ok?
SCULLY: Gee, and I could've sworn that I had seen him looking at your rear the other day.
MULDER: SCULLY! That's just...gross!
SCULLY: I know.
MULDER: I know what I could do.
SCULLY: What's that?
MULDER: Use the Force on you.
SCULLY: Right. Well now that you've told me I could fight you off.
MULDER: Really? And how's that?
SCULLY: 'Cause I'm a Jedi too.
MULDER: Uh-huh.
SCULLY: Really. I've got my lightsabre right here.
MULDER: Um...Scully, what are you doing with Qui-Gon's lightsaber?
SCULLY: I'm impressed, Mulder. It's actually Luke's lightsabre. I got it at Target. And unlike yours...it actually makes sounds. ((soft whirring))
MULDER: Impressive.
SCULLY: I thought you'd like it. So go right ahead. Force me into doing something.
MULDER: Ok.
SCULLY: Mulder?
MULDER: ......
SCULLY: C'mon Mulder...
MULDER: You will kiss me.
SCULLY: That's it? ((laughter))
MULDER: You will kiss me.
SCULLY: Are you going to keep saying it?
MULDER: You will kiss me.
SCULLY: Face it, Mulder. You just don't have the Force.
MULDER: You will kiss me.
SCULLY: Mulder...stop saying that right now. Otherwise I'll...
MULDER: You'll what? Kiss me?
SCULLY: Ok. Don't mind if I do.
MULDER: Mmmm...Hey Scully?
SCULLY: Yeah, Mulder?
MULDER: Let's play Jedi more often.
SCULLY: You've got it, Braid-boy.
THE END
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Feedback is greatly appreciated. As is Mulder showing up at my apartment carrying roses...
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