Remembering
He could picture his wife's face in his mind, her blonde hair brushing across her face as it normally did. Her blue eyes bring hope and joy to his darkness that had filled his life everyday. He had his demons, even before that fateful day. Being on the job for so long had shown him that there were some evil people in the world and that faith was hard to come by. However it was his mother that had helped him through it, along with his father and grandfather but mainly it was his wife who kept him sane. This was his happy place. Being with the people he loved most, his family. He could picture his camping trips with his brothers and sitting down with them around the open log fire that they had built listening to Pop's war stories. Also annoying his only sister in what guys she was allowed to date including reminding her about what their family did for a living.
But what he missed the most was Sunday dinner. Sitting together with his whole family, taking the time to listen to each other about what their day had been like. Which always ended up with someone talking shop, and earning a clip around their ear from his mother or his grandmother. There was no shop talk at the dinner table when people were eating. That was one rule that never really got followed unless the conversation got out of control.
However he wasn't really there. Not really. It was all in his head, he wasn't with his family.
His mother's face appeared in his mind smiling at him, but she wasn't really there. His mother, who had battled through cancer but always with a smile. She never showed them if she was scared or worried. She was the anchor in the family. She was the one that held the family together, but also she was the one that they could all turn to if they needed anything. She was also the one person he could talk to about things his father could not answer. Mainly about Linda. However he had seen her cry only a few times. One when he had woken up in a hospital bed after 9/11 as they had been told that he may never wake up. Another time was when he had told his parents that he was being deployed to Iraq. However the first time he had seen his mother cry with joy was seeing him and Linda on their wedding day. It was tears of joy only because he knew that she had never thought that she would see that day. His mother was everything to him, and being the eldest he knew that one day she wouldn't be there. The first time he had seen his mother cry with sadness was when news came to them that his father had been shot. The fear was very clear to him that day. So he had to step up not just for his siblings but for his mother too. Seeing her face again in the flesh was everything to him now.
However as his mother's face vanished from his mind, he saw his father's. His father like him had seen war. His father was a man of not many words but he could tell you what he meant by a single look. He had helped him so much, dealing with everything that had happened to him. But also he knew that his father only wanted the best for them and that was the reason that he and his siblings couldn't get away with anything. And he had tied everything when he was younger. He was a rebellious teenager and he had been lucky he hadn't gotten into too much trouble that had stopped him joining the force. However his father had always stood up for him when he needed someone in his corner, if he had a problem with anything it was strange but he could speak to him and even if he couldn't give him an answer he would say something that help him deal with his problem. It was one of these moments he had with his old man, the day he had been shot on an arrest gone wrong when he didn't know if he could go back to the streets. He was a lot like his father, including his hot irish temper. His mother often mentioned that he had a lot of the Reagan side in him.
After when his father's face vanished it was replaced with his little sister Erin, who wasn't that little and his little niece Nicki. Even if he didn't like her husband, something good came out of it. And that was a bounce little niece who had attached herself to his leg nearly everytime he came round. Or on a sunday. Erin had joined the DA and was working on a few large cases as the second chair which was why their mother had said that she would have Nicki so she could return to work. But that meant everytime he would go around for some reason he would get attacked by a little crazy toddler who was normally covered in chocolate or mud.
After watching as the Erin's and Nicki's faces faded he saw the two cheeky faces of his two younger brothers Joe and Jamie. The two had been as thick as thieves. However they were his brothers, even when they drove him up the walls sometimes. Joe was his partner in crime whenever he needed on when they were growing up. And when he joined the force, Joe had told him that he wouldn't have to wait long before he was right there aside him. Not that their mother was happy with the idea. But Joe wanted to make a difference like they all did. Jamie on the other hand was quieter than all of them. He however knew that Jamie wouldn't follow him and Joe into the force. Jamie was smart and he knew that he would go far. And he had mentioned once that he wanted to become a lawyer like Erin. On the outside he went with the others in the idea of him being a lawyer and sometime he would be against him in the courtroom but on the inside he was glad. It meant one less brother to worry about. He wouldn't have to worry about getting the call that Jamie had been shot or he was in trouble. He already had those ideas with Joe even though he had been working the beat for a year. But he loved them both.
His brother's faces vanished to show his grandparents. Pop's might be the police commissioner and in turn his overall boss but he loved hearing Pop's war stories and he gave him good advice if he had trouble with any cases he needed help in. However he never asked for him to get involved. He only wanted advice. One thing he had learnt was that with the last name Reagan, everyone thought that he would be pushed through the ranks as quickly as every untill he was at a chief office within four years. They had a problem when he made detective in only a short period of time but then it happened. He had been working on a case when he found himself at the world trade center that fateful day of the 11th of September. He was lucky that day to make it out of there alive, even if he had some help by two firefighters. His grandfather had helped him through the pain that he had felt months after which had ended in him enlisting. He had supported him. He had felt like he had more support with his choice with joining the marines from his grandfather than he did from his father. On the other hand his grandmother could say more with a single look than any words. His father had inherited that from her, and he knew it well. She however was a woman that he could always talk too and he knew that with the help of his mother they had spoken often with Linda about being a police officer's wife. That was something he was always thankful of. As he knew that he was changing, every day of the job was changing him in a little way. But also he knew about the meetings between Linda, his mother and his grandmother after he had broke the news about him enlisting in the marines. They had also been the wives of servicemen too. But Iraq was going to be different to their war. And they all knew it.
But then his grandparents' faces also vanished and he was left in the dark. In the pitch blackness of nothing. Then he saw a flash. A red flash coming closer and closer to him from far away. He could feel the heat as it flashed towards him. It reminded him of 9/11. The flashes of the fuel burning as it gripped the towers. And then it consumed him. The heat wrapped itself around him like a blanket and then he felt it for the first time.
Pain. That was what came to mind. Pain. His whole body screamed with pain. It was the first thing that came to his mind when he had returned from the darkness. It was the only thing he could think about, the pain consumed him from the moment his mind started to remember what had happened. However at this moment all he wanted was for him to fall back into the blackness he had been in before.
The pain was too much to move and even to open his eyes. The pain had been shooting through every nerve in his body from what felt like forever. He had never felt pain like his before. However at the same time he knew what the pain meant, it meant he was alive. Whatever had happened to him, he knew that he was alive and that what mattered. He had a chance to get home again. To be with his family again. But he couldn't think about that now. He had to stay alive.
The air around him was warm, but that was normal for where he was. But this time it was different. The air was mixed with a thick dust. The dust choked the hot air that he had only just pushed into his lungs. It made it hard for him to push even the little amount of air, but he knew that he was covered in the same dust that had started to fill his lungs. But he knew that it wasn't just the dust that covered his uniform, body and head. He knew he was hurt, the warm wet feeling coming from his head and his neck pointed that out to him very clearly.
From the fact that he was still breathing, he only guessed that he wasn't bleeding that badly. But then again, from personal knowledge he was still bleeding which worried him and that he couldn't see where he was bleeding from, it worried him.
The ringing in his ears had started to annoy him. The high pitch whistling that had started from the moment he came too. It was driving his mad but it had started to lessen and in that time he had started to hear the things around him. Shouting. That was what he could hear, shouting coming from all around him. However there was screams mixed in with the shouting. Both in english and arabic.
What had happened? How had everything gone so wrong? A few minutes ago, which felt like forever now, he was joking in the humvee with his friends pulling up at the location of their newest task. He locked up the humvee and then jogged to catch up with his team but the second he pulled up at the door to see his men, everything changed. He was meet with a blanket of dust and pain.
That was what he remembered. A blanket of dust that threw itself onto him pushing him down. He could move his arms, this started be him moving his fingers along with cold dusty floor that he had been laying on and after thanking the lord for not taking his arms he slowly started to move his elbow and then his shoulder. His arms were still there. Well that was the thought until he tried to move his right shoulder only to cry out in pain as a hot burning pain shot through his body. Injured but not lost. He thought and then moved on to his legs.
After kicking the floor with his boots he found that they like his arms were still there. But he had no idea where exactly he was. He remembered the task but had no idea if any help was coming or what had happened to him?
As he brought up his bloody and beating hand up to his face, he tried to clear his vision to see where he was but couldn't. All his hand came across was wet blood that had come from the wound to his face. He knew that he was in trouble but then voices came closer to him. Voices that spoke in english. And they were close to him, that he could feel the vibrations that they caused on the floor. He dropped his hand away from his face as a burning feeling came from his chest. It was then that he felt it, someone's fingers on his neck feeling for a pulse. The voice was clear and the one thing that he he got from this voice was that the man wasn't american.
"It's alright mate. We got you." The voice said and then he felt himself being pulled from the floor by two people. And a few seconds later he felt a cold air brush on his hot face. He had no strength in him to help the two men carry him to wherever they were going but he didn't care. All he wanted to do was to fall back into the darkness and away from the pain that he felt.
"You got him mate, I got to get back." Another voice said and soon he was gone. All his weight was now on the one man. But he didn't have to carry him far until he felt himself being placed in the back of a humvee.
"Hey mate, you with me?" The voice asked again. He nodded, letting the man know that he was still awake even though he didn't want to be.
"This is going to sting." The man said and then a cold liquid suddenly hit his face. He pulled back in shock at the water but it helped. The cool water cleared the dust from his eyes enough to allow them to open.
"Hey mate, it's only water. Looks like your head is still in one piece. But I'm no medic." The man said wiping away the blood from his face. Slowly, but surely his eyesight was coming back and soon he found himself looking at a young man possibly 24 in a military uniform who was also covered in dust.
"What happened?" He asked looking at the burning building that they were next too. He couldn't remember much and he could remember that his friends were there too.
"Bomb. Bastards blow up so many people today to get them into a hospital and then blow up the hospital. One good reason why I don't mind killing the bastards." The man said in front of him as he wrapped a bandage around his arm.
"Your names Reagan right?" He asked pointing at the name tag on his uniform. He nodded. But said nothing else, a bombing. What had made someone blow up a hospital? This world had gone to hell.
"What's your name?" He asked the man who how was cleaning the multiple cuts to his arms from what he guessed was shrapnel. He only just remembered that he don't gotten the other soldier's name or who he was with.
He saw the soldier softly smile. "Names Mick Rawson. Short for Michael but I only get that if I'm in trouble for something. It's just normally Mick. British Army." Mick said but then he stopped as he saw and heard multiple military humvees pulled with soldiers quickly jumping out. From what he could see, it was a mixture of both British and American troops.
"Rawson. What happened? Our boys ok?" A british soldier said running up to them and looking directly at Mick.
"Our boys didn't go inside, the american marines did. This is Reagan, he's the only one we found so far. He needs a medic. But he will live." Mick said and looked at the other troops that seem to with hearing that their fellow marines were missing looked like they were ready to run into the hospital to find them.
"They all dead." A new voice said as another british soldier joined them. "They all died in the explosion. They never stood a chance."
The news hit him hard. His friends were dead. He had lost many friends in his war but never did he think that he would lose his entire unit in one event. He had only just being joking with them a not long ago about what they were going to get up to when they were shipped state side. And now he would make that trip alone with his friends following him in boxes.
The man that clearly had rank growled and quickly said."Ok. Get the rest of your unit Mick ready to move. I am sending you after this bastard. Even if I have to send the whole bloody S.A.S after him I will. Go grab your kit. I will inform the Americans and they can collect their dead. There is nothing more for you to do here. I want the SOB nailed to a bloody pole." And with this the man turned away and headed towards the American and other British troops but before he got too far away he turned back to the three men. "And Rawson, you get this bastard in your scope. Don't miss." And then he left them.
The other soldier quickly followed those orders and went to get the others. He hadn't asked Mick what regiment he was in but now he knew. He had been saved by members of the famous British Army Special Air Service. And with the last comment the other Brit said he guessed he was a sniper.
"Sorry about your teammate. I knew what it's like to lose friends like this." Mick said and in his voice, he could tell that he meant the statement.
"Mick." A voice said and soon they were joined a man in an american marine uniform.
"I'm fine Coop. Reagan this is Sam Cooper, Marine intelligence. I know he will need to talk to you but I have to go." Mick said picking up his rifle with he had set down next to him without him knowing.
"Mick?" The man named Coop said again. It was a mixture of worry and concern in the man's voice like the two had known each other your years.
"I'm going to get even Coop. They can't get away with bombing a hospital and killing nearly a full team of marines. This can't happen. I have my orders and I will be fine. This is what I do best. You take care Reagan, we will make these bastards pay for this." And with that Mick left the two alone.
And from there he didn't remember much, soon he was confronted with two marine medics and was quickly sent back to base. His friends hadn't suffered. They had died the second the bomb went off. He had just been lucky. Sam Cooper told him that for some reason God had spared his life that day when he came to visit him in the hospital two days later and that was when he heard from Mick Rawson who had came in with a bullet in his arm. They had gotten their man and as was told to them by another British Soldier the guy had never seen it coming. That the ghost of the S.A.S had gotten revenge on the man who had killed the American Marines.
He might of lost his friends that day but at the same time he had meet two more. Cooper had told him a lot when he had visited him in hospital including that he was former FBI and would soon be returning back to the agency if he needed any help when he went back to being a detective. Mick on the other hand had become more of a mystery. He found out that the man wasn't 24 but only 22. The youngest ever to join the ranks of the S.A.S. but as he said the British Army knew talent when they saw it.
Maybe he was ready to go home and forget this war. But at the same time he couldn't he was needed here as well as back home. He needed to be there for his marine brothers and now his new friend.