A/N Hey guys. This is my first time writing in the Bleach universe so I hope if you read it that you'll enjoy it. This story is based before the 1000 Year Blood War Arc and some events from the other arcs have been changed. For example some characters that survived the Winter War are dead and vice versa. So I guess you could call it an Alternate Universe of sorts. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

Summary: Ichigo Kurosaki had survived the Winter War. He had survived when others he cared about had not. Years later when Ichigo thinks he can finally heal, Grimmjow returns and tries to break him down and make him suffer with the promise of a new war. Ichigo once again tries to overcome the odds with the help of Shuhei but is sucked down into something even more dangerous than a war...

Warnings: Violence, Swearing, Adult themes, Possible OOC and Yaoi but not until much, much later.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. All rights go to Tite Kubo

Chapter 1

Peace and quiet. That is exactly what Ichigo Kurosaki was hoping for on his night off from his Shinigami duties. For Ichigo though, peace and quiet was just wishful thinking. Instead he found himself on the outskirts of Karakura Town dealing with a persistent problem in his life. The Moon was well into the night sky and silence had fallen over Karakura town only to be disturbed by the sound of two swords clashing together ferociously.

"It's over Grimmjow" Ichigo said as he deflected Pantera with his Zangetsu, disarming Grimmjow in the process. "The outcome is always going to be the same, you seek me out, then we fight and then I win. It's as simple as that" Ichigo said with a defeated sigh. This has been the 8th time in the last two months that Grimmjow has sought out Ichigo to once again try and kill him. Ichigo just couldn't understand why he kept on returning. 'He's persistent, I'll give him that' Ichigo thought.

"It's not over until I say it's over, Kurosaki!" Grimmjow roars as he gets up and aims a cero towards Ichigo. Grimmjow looked to be on his last legs and Ichigo knew that the cero that was coming his way wouldn't have much of a kick to it. The cero was deflected with ease which caused even more immense anger within Grimmjow to arise, distracting him. Ichigo flash stepped towards Grimmjow and sent a kick into Grimmjow's abdomen causing him to be thrown through the air and into one of the many abandoned buildings located in the outskirts.

"Why do you keep doing this to yourself, Grimmjow?" Ichigo asked as he reached the building where Grimmjow was laying in the rubble of the wall he went through. "Do you think I enjoy doing this to you, time and time again?"

"Oh I bet you enjoy it, Kurosaki" Grimmjow said with a scoff while avoiding eye contact with the orange haired Shinigami. "Don't act so high and mighty. You and I both know that you live for the fight. It helps distract you from how pathetic your life truly is! Stop hiding away from the truth!"

"The only pathetic thing here is you coming to me all the time to get your ass kicked" Ichigo said angrily. "I should have just killed you to save all this trouble for me."

"You? Kill me? Don't make me laugh! You are too much off a pussy to do something like that!"

"Go to hell Grimmjow" Ichigo said as he turned his back on the Espada.

"When I do go to hell, I'll let your Mother and that four eyed Quincy know that you say hi" Grimmjow said while letting out a maniacal chuckle. In the space of a second Ichigo's sword was at the base of Grimmjow's throat with a look of pure hatred on his face.

"Go home, Grimmjow!" Ichigo yelled. "It's fucking over! I don't have any time to waste on a pathetic scumbag like you!"

"Hit a nerve did I?" Grimmjow said with a smirk. Ichigo didn't respond and just glared at him with heated anger for a second longer before sheathing his sword and turning away. "This isn't over, Kurosaki! You have no idea about the plans we have in store for you and that fucking Soul Society! Everything and everyone you love will be reduced to nothingness soon and I cannot wait to see the look on your face when that day comes!" Grimmjow yelled with delight to Ichigo's retreating form. "There is a new war coming and there is nothing you can do to stop it!"

Ichigo stopped in his tracks with a cold sweat running down his spine. "War? What are you talking about!?" Ichigo said as he turned around to see that Grimmjow had disappeared. Ichigo would have just passed that off as a pathetic attempt at taunting him if it weren't for the sinking feeling in his gut. Ichigo was a man of instinct and his instinct at the moment was saying that there might be truth to what the blue haired Espada had just said.

…

'I am going to kill that kid, no matter what it takes' Grimmjow thought to himself as he headed towards the rendezvous point. The forest was the best place for them to meet up due to the fact that it was concealed, dark and was well away from Karakura town so they wouldn't gain any unwanted attention.

It's not like Grimmjow actually tried to kill the orange haired Shinigami every time they fought against each other in the last two months. Orders were orders and the orders were to fight against Ichigo Kurosaki to gain Intel. 'Oh how I would love to wrap my hands around that little neck of his' Grimmjow thought.

Once again, just by thinking of Kurosaki, his anger had risen to extreme highs. Just the thought of those condescending, hateful eyes of his would send Grimmjow into an absolute rage. Grimmjow finally reached the point of meeting to see that no one was there. 'You have got to be shitting me!' Grimmjow thought with even more anger.

"Oi, Asshole! Hurry the fuck up and get over here!" Grimmjow shouted, not caring who heard him.

"There is no need for such foul Language, Grimmjow" said a man with pink hair and golden eyes who appeared out of nowhere. Accompanied by him was a tall, lanky man with long black hair who was wearing an eyepatch.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Nnoitra?" Grimmjow asked, unamused.

"I came here to watch you get your ass kicked by that little Shinigami you love so much" Nnoitra said with a wide grin, showing his piano like teeth. "It was rather entertaining."

"We should have left you to rot in the ground!" Grimmjow growled as he put his hand over his sword and was about to draw it out when the pink haired male stepped in front of him. "Step outta the way, Szayel!" Grimmjow spat out through gritted teeth while not taking his gaze away from Nnoitra who was grinning at him.

"Now is not the time for horseplay, Grimmjow" Szayel said while readjusting the glasses on his face. "We have finally gained enough information on Ichigo Kurosaki for the plan to proceed. You two can have at each other like the animals you are after we relay this information back to Lord Aizen."

"And how the fuck are we supposed to inform Aizen of this information when he is locked up in the fucking soul society!?" Grimmjow growled intensely, trying to fight back the urge to kill Szayel right then and there.

"Well he is not going to be imprisoned for much longer now is he?" Szayel asked rhetorically.

Grimmjow grunted in agreement and took his hand off his sword. 'These bastards can die along with Kurosaki for all I care' Grimmjow thought angrily to himself as he walked away to where the garganta was about to open.

"Someone's in a feisty mood tonight" Nnoitra said, patronisingly as Grimmjow walked off.

"Don't fucking test me" Grimmjow said angrily, as he stepped into the now open garganta.

With the three Espada gone, silence once again regained the night.

…

Ichigo stared deeply into his cup as he thought about the events that had just transpired. Not knowing how to fully process what had just happened, Ichigo sat down on his couch and turned on the TV. Was Grimmjow telling the truth? There was no way of knowing. Ichigo's mind was in enough pieces as it was, so it was impossible for him to think straight at the moment.

"I wish things would just make sense for once" Ichigo said silently to himself as he flipped through the channels of the TV.

The Kurosaki residence was a lot more dull and lifeless than it used to be ever since Ichigo's father left with his two younger sisters to somewhere as far as possible from Karakura town. Isshin thought it was best to leave the town to keep the girls safe since lately Karakura seemed like a massive death trap. Ichigo wanted nothing more than to go with them but he was ordered by the soul society that he had to stay put in Karakura no matter what since it was a spiritual hotspot and was most likely to draw unwanted attention of dangerous elements.

When Ichigo received the news that he was not allowed to leave Karakura with his family, he was absolutely heartbroken and had a few choice words that he spewed at the Captain General. Those words were not well received but he at least got his message across.

Ichigo pretended like it was no big deal to his family and insisted that they go without him and that he would be fine on his own. Isshin wasn't worried for Ichigo since he had faith in his son and knew that Ichigo could handle things on his own. His sisters however did not take kindly to the news of Ichigo staying behind. There were tears from Yuzu and fists being thrown form Karin. Ichigo felt like he was dying inside and out but still tried to have a brave face on and act like it was no big deal. It's a memory that Ichigo will never ever forget.

"I fucking hate Soul Reapers" Ichigo muttered under his breath without much conviction behind it. The loneliness inside him was slowly eating him up day by day and it was getting too much for him to bare. Ichigo lost a lot of people he cared about during the Winter War and it absolutely destroyed him. Ichigo was amazed that he hadn't crumbled up and broken down already. It was nights like these though, that he was closest to losing it. Nights like these was when he felt like crawling up into a ball and never move again. Ichigo pulled his knees up and placed his forehead on them. "Maybe Grimmjow was right about my pathetic life" he whispered. "It's too much."

"Ichigo!" a voice called from behind him causing Ichigo to jump and fall to the ground.

"Fuck, Rukia! A little warning next time!" Ichigo practically yelled from the floor as he tried to get his heartbeat to slow down. "You can't just walk up behind someone and yell at them without expecting them to have a heart attack!"

"I called your name 4 times, Ichigo" Rukia said with a sigh. Rukia was assigned to Karakura town for the month and was staying with Ichigo for the time being. It helped Ichigo a whole lot to have her live with him but yet it still couldn't fill the gaping hole inside him. Whenever Ichigo was about to completely lose it, she was there to bring him back down to earth again. There was no way that Ichigo was going to tell her that he was suffering though. It just didn't seem right to burden her with his problems. "Well sorry for startling you" Rukia said as she closed the front door. "By the way I think I saw Riruka while I was patrolling."

"Riruka? I haven't seen her since Ginjo died. Are you sure?" Ichigo said sullenly.

"I am not too sure. I just saw those pink piggy tails of hers amongst the crowd of people on Main Street. It was dark though so they might not even have been pink." Rukia replied as she walked up to Ichigo. Ichigo looked up at her and saw her face go into shock. "Jesus Ichigo, you are all cut up. What happened?!"

"Grimmjow happened" Ichigo said tiredly as he got back up on the couch and put his head in his hands.

"Again? I am guessing it went the same way as the times before" Rukia said, sitting down on the couch next to Ichigo.

"You could say that… but this time something strange happened and I am not sure how to take it."

"Something strange? Like what?"

"Well…" Ichigo said, trying to think if he should even bother telling Rukia. It might have meant nothing at all and would get Rukia all worried for no reason but on the other hand, Grimmjow could have been telling the truth. "Grimmjow said something after I defeated him" Ichigo said slowly and looked at Rukia who nodded for him to continue. "He said that they have plans for me and the Soul Society."

"What plans and who are these people?" Rukia asked in a serious and concerned tone.

"I am not sure what plans and I have no idea who the people are. Grimmjow was gone before I had the chance to interrogate him. It might have just been him trying to get under my skin."

"It could be" Rukia said slowly. "Also he might have been serious. Did he say anything else?"

"Yeah he did" Ichigo said darkly. "He said that everything and everyone I love will be reduced to nothingness and also… that there is a war coming and there is nothing I can do to stop it."

"Those are some serious accusations he is making" Rukia said angrily. "It would be best if we report it to the Soul Society, even if it just turns out to be an outright lie. We cannot take what he said lightly."

"Yeah I know" Ichigo said as he combed his hands through his messy hair. "There was something in the way he said it that made my stomach turn."

"That bastard!" Rukia spat through gritted teeth as she clenched her fists. Rukia may be small but the amount of anger she has can be well and truly frightening. "Okay, let's go."

"Where are we going?"

"To Urahara's. We will see what he has to say before we contact the Soul Society."

The Seireitei

In the Squad 9 barracks, Shuhei was almost panicking over the amount of work that Kensei had left for him to do. 'There is no possible way for this to be done by tonight' Shuhei thought to himself. Mashiro should have been helping him but was too busy either daydreaming or following Kensei around like a lost puppy. Sometimes Shuhei thought there was no point in having Mashiro around but he would never raise his opinions to Kensei. If Kensei thought it was the right decision then so be it.

This amount of paper work may be a pain but it was also a welcomed distraction for Shuhei. Without a distraction his thoughts always went to the Winter War and all that he lost in it. Those thoughts plagued him night and day. Awake and asleep. There was no escaping them. He lost his former Captain, Kaname Tousen, who was like a father to him and he also lost his best friend Izuru Kira.

The crushing pain of knowing that he would never see his best friend again was almost too much for him to bare. Nothing will ever be the same without him but that is to be expected of war. In Shuhei's opinion, in a war both sides lose.

Every night Shuhei would go back home and open a bottle of sake and pour two cups. One for himself and one to honour the memory of his best friend. He would sit at the table for hours in silence until the sake took a hold of him and would pass out and if he were lucky, no nightmares.

Rangiku would check up on him most nights and would sit with him in silence as well. The memory of Gin still haunted her and sitting in silence with Shuhei was her way of honouring his memory, though she would never admit that to anyone. More often than not, Shuhei ended up sleeping with her to try and numb the pain but every single time they had sex, Shuhei ended up feeling emptier.

When in public, Shuhei would try his best to have a brave face on and would try to not let people know about how much pain is inside his heart. In Shuhei's eyes, everyone was suffering and it would be selfish of himself to burden them with his anguish. It just wouldn't be fair. Shuhei hated himself for feeling so pitiful. He was a lieutenant of the 9th division and shouldn't be acting like an absolute mess… but that was easier said than done.

"I better get started" Shuhei said glumly as he started on the first piece of paper work. Two hours went by and he wasn't even half way through the pile. Shuhei was hoping that by now, Mashiro would have come and collected her share of the work but that was just wishful thinking. Shuhei leaned back on his chair and stretched.

There was a knock at the door which startled Shuhei and made him almost lose his balance. Shuhei quickly regain his balance and sorted his paperwork out. "Door's open" Shuhei called out while arranging his papers.

"Thought I would just check up on you" Renji said as he walked through the door.

"Just doing work" Shuhei said, continuing his work. "Nothing to report."

"Mind if I stay a bit" Renji said nervously. Shuhei looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. What is he planning?

"Yeah okay" Shuhei said slowly. Renji grabbed a seat and sat in front of the desk Shuhei was working at. Renji had a conflicted look on his face which only worried Shuhei but he ignored it and went back to his work. Renji just sat there for a moment while twiddling his thumbs and looking around the room nervously.

"So…" Renji said after a couple minutes of silence. Shuhei didn't look up from his work. "What work are you doing?"

"Okay, what is the real reason you are here, Renji?" Shuhei said calmly. "I doubt it is to talk about work." Shuhei didn't look up at Renji but he could feel him tense up.

"What?! Well…Th-there doesn't need to be a reason to come and see a friend" Renji replied with slight panic.

"Lying was never really your strong Suit" Shuhei said looking up at him. Renji looked away and took a deep breath, his expression hardening into a sad one.

"Captain Muguruma told me that you were almost killed by a hollow on your last mission and that if he didn't step in you would have been dead."

"That's just a part of being a soul reaper. Your life is always in danger when you go up against hollows" Shuhei replied with no emotion. What is he trying to get at?

"Yeah but you didn't try to stop it. You just let it happen and watched as it charged at you" Renji said, his tone becoming serious. "Why would you do that?!"

"That's none of your concern."

"Look" Renji said, turning his gaze towards Shuhei and looking into his eyes. "I am worried about you. We are all worried about you. You never go out with us anymore. You actually never go anywhere in general. You lock yourself up in your home and get wasted to the point where you pass out. You are really starting to scare us all. It seems that you have just given up."

"I don't see how I choose to cope with things is any of your goddamn business" Shuhei said angrily, getting out of his chair.

"That's the thing, you aren't coping."

"I am coping just fine" Shuhei said coldly. "You can leave now."

Renji picked up an empty bottle of sake from underneath Shuhei's desk and shoved it in his face. "You see this!? Drinking on the job is not coping! Drinking every day is not coping! Pushing everyone away who cares about you is not coping! You need to snap the fuck out of it!" Renji yelled, finally losing his cool.

"Snap the fuck out of it?! You think I haven't tried!? It's not something you can just snap your fingers at and make it all go away! Stop pretending that everything is fine when it's not! Izuru is dead!" Shuhei yelled furiously. Shuhei was on the verge of breaking down and if Renji kept on pushing him, it was going to happen.

"I am not pretending everything is fine, Shuhei" Renji replied mournfully. "Izuru was like family to me and I know for sure that he wouldn't want you to throw your life away because of him. He would have wanted you to get on with your life."

"Well I can't do that! Izuru would have still been alive if it wasn't for me!" Shuhei screamed with tears threatening to spill. "I basically killed him!"

Renji flinched in shock at Shuhei's words. Now he was starting to understand what was going on with him. Survivors' guilt. Renji walked over to Shuhei who was on the verge of hyperventilating and put his arms around him. "Shuhei, you didn't kill him. How could you possible think that?"

"Rangiku ran off and I was incapacitated and couldn't chase after her so I begged Izuru to go after her even though he was profusely bleeding and then he… then he…" Shuhei trailed off as the tears started to fall down his face silently. "Then he died on the way to stop Rangiku. He died alone and… and when I was able to move, I… I went after them and I… found him laying there and the only words he said to me was… 'I'm sorry'. It's all my fault."

Renji wrapped his arms around him tight while Shuhei wept silently. Renji had never heard this before. All he was told about his friend's death was that he died fighting against Aizen and his Espada and that he died an honourable death while defending the Soul Society. No wonder Shuhei wasn't coping. 'We should have known. We should have tried harder to be there for him' Renji thought to himself. "I'm so sorry Shuhei. I had no idea" Renji said quietly. "It's still not your fault though."

Shuhei pulled away from Renji and looked at him with hopelessness. "How can you even say that? You heard what I said" Shuhei said with dead emotion as he sat back down in his chair. The tears were gone once again.

"Izuru was not that type of guy to leave his friends behind, Shuhei" Renji said with a sad smile. "He would have gone after Rangiku even if you didn't ask him too."

Shuhei didn't reply and just sat there staring into space. There were no more tears but the sadness never left his face. "I don't know anymore, Renji."

"You need to stop blaming yourself Shuhei" Renji said. "You need to open up to people like you just did to me. It may be painful but it will be really helpful. We are your friends and we are always going to be there for you no matter what."

"You might be right" Shuhei said with a sad smile. "I don't even know what I am doing anymore."

"That is fine, Shuhei. We are all here for you. We are going out for dinner tonight so why don't you come with us?" Renji asked, full of hope. Shuhei thought about it for a second. Shuhei wasn't sure if it was such a good idea to go out with his friends tonight. He didn't want to bring down their mood and ruin their night. That would be extremely selfish. On the other hand, it would help Shuhei a lot to go out with his friends. After all they are his friends and sometimes it is okay to ask for help.

"I'll come" Shuhei said with a defeated sigh. "I'll see you guys tonight."

"Oh fuck yeah!" Renji shouted in glee, causing Shuhei to roll his eyes and go back to his work. "Just you wait, everything is going to get better for you. I'll make sure of it" Renji said with a warm smile as he left through the door.

"Better would not be the word I would use" Shuhei muttered under his breath.

…

Another two hours went by and Shuhei was just about to pack up his work and head off to meet with the others for dinner. Shuhei was actually petrified about going out to dinner with everyone else but if he wanted to get 'better' than this should be a good start. Also he would have lots of apologising to do for pushing everyone away. "This is not going to be fun" Shuhei mumbled.

Shuhei was just about done packing up when Kensei walked through the door causing Shuhei to automatically get out of his chair and stand straight. "C-captain!? What can I do f-for you!?" Shuhei stuttered. Kensei rolled his eyes. Why does this kid always become a nervous wreck around me? Kensei thought to himself.

"We have received word from Ichigo Kurosaki and Rukia Kuchiki that a former Espada has threatened the world of the living and the Soul Society with war. We don't know if the Espada was serious or not so you will be sent to the world of the living along with several others to try and shed some light on the case. You will leave as soon as possible and will meet up with Ichigo and the Kuchiki kid for further details."

"Yes Captain!" Shuhei said with a bow.

"Why don't I get to go Kensei!?" Mashiro yelled, popping out of nowhere. "It's not fair! Why does Shuhei get to have all the fun missions!? Boring people shouldn't get to do the fun stuff!"

Shuhei just rolled his eyes at her. For some reason it seemed like Mashiro had a vendetta against Shuhei and he just couldn't figure out why.

"I swear to god if you don't shut up I am will destroy you" Kensei said coldly while his eye twitched.

"You wouldn't hurt me Kensei" Mashiro teased as she left the room.

"I swear, one of these days I might actually kill her" Kensei muttered under his breath as he left the room.

A moment went by and Shuhei realised he was still standing up straight in the same spot. There was something about Kensei that made Shuhei a stuttering mess and he had no idea what it was. It might be because Kensei was he his childhood hero, who knows.

Shuhei took a look at all the paperwork on the desk and sighed. Looks like instead of going out to dinner he would be going to world of living. "I really couldn't think of anything worse" Shuhei said to himself as he made his way to the door.

A/N So that was the first chapter and I hope you guys enjoyed it! If you have any questions about it, feel free to message me :)