A/N: So… just a little crazy idea I had. Mind you, considering the die-hard Four/Tris fan that I am, this was incredibly painful to write, yet somehow I just couldn't resist it lol. A lot of the dialogues and writings have been borrowed from V. Roth, hence I do not own them.
Here is the first installment of Tobias' two-shot. I do hope you enjoy :)

AMOUR

(TOBIAS' POV)

I walk out of the arena with clenched, bloody fists and a racing heart, and when I'm sure no one is following or can see me anymore, I run. The Dauntless compound is a good place to recover. It's dark and full of secret, quiet places. So I find a hallway near the Pit and sit against the concrete wall.

My head is pounding and my body is sore all over from the fight, but I barely register any of it as I stare at my knuckles that are tacky with blood- Eric's blood. Feeling disgusted by the reminder of what I just did, I try to rub it off but it's been drying too long.

I won the fight. I am now first in my initiate class and that means my place in Dauntless is secure for the time being. I may have chosen Dauntless as a haven, but I'm not just surviving here, I'm excelling. I should feel satisfied, maybe even happy that I finally belong somewhere. But instead I feel afraid that the cost of being Dauntless means harnessing pieces of myself that I would rather have banished away into oblivion.

While I was fighting Eric he began to taunt me as he hit me, reminding me that he knew my name, my father's name. I felt my pain disappear into rage, and I grabbed his arm to hold him in place as I swung at him again, and again, and again. I didn't even see where I was hitting him. I didn't see or feel or hear anything. I was empty, alone. There was just nothing. But then I heard his screams and it brought me back from the nothingness, and when I saw him clutching his face with his hands, bright red blood soaking his chin and his shirt, I became afraid- afraid of what I am, what I might be becoming. And so, without having been dismissed, I excused myself from the training room before anyone could see the terror in my eyes.

Just then I hear quick footsteps running toward me and I see a silhouette turn the corner at the end of the hallway.

"Quit sulking, Four," he says. "Everyone's impressed with you. Embrace it."

I look up to see Amar smiling down at me and I can't help but feel glad that it's him and not somebody else. I like hanging out with him and his Dauntless-born friends, but I prefer when it's just us. He treats me differently when the other initiates aren't around. At first I didn't know what to expect from him, but I quickly learned that whatever type of friendship we share does not exist inside the training room. Understandable, I guess. He probably doesn't want the others thinking that he favours me for whatever reason.

I give him a half smile before I quickly turn my eyes back to the floor.

Amar takes a seat beside me on the floor and asks, "What's going on, Four? You're sitting here like you just suffered a pathetic loss but you just massacred Eric."

"Exactly," I say quietly.

Amar raises an eyebrow at me and tilts his head to the side. "Can I ask why that bothers you?" he asks me.

I just shrug and say, "It's stupid."

"I'm sure it's not," he says and he places his hand on mine. A part of me feels the urge to take it and hold it tight and another part of me wonders why I have that urge any at all. This is all new to me. Many times I don't know what these gestures of affection and comfort mean to the Dauntless.

I look up to see Amar giving me a strange look—eager, like he expects something from me. I shift, uncomfortable, until I realize that he's expecting me to tell him what's bothering me.

"I just don't like the violence," I admit. "I don't see the pleasure in causing someone else pain."

I almost lost my first fight. It was against an Amity girl. I didn't know how to beat her without hitting her, and I couldn't hit her—at least, not until she had me in a choke hold and my vision was starting to go black at the edges. My instincts took over, and just one hard elbow to her jaw knocked her down. It was enough to leave me guilt-ridden for days.

"Is that some kind of Stiff thing?" Amar asks.

"Maybe. I don't know. It just doesn't feel like a game to me, that's all," I say, and it's the first time I've expressed that to anyone. I know why it doesn't feel like a game—because for so long, it was my reality, it was my waking and my sleeping.

"Oh," Amar says quietly, finally understanding. I know he does. He's seen my fears after all. "Well then don't let it be a game," he says. "You don't have to be cruel when you fight. You fight hard but you fight fair and after you've won, you stop. You can become Dauntless on your own terms. Even if that means that a part of you will always be a Stiff." He grins and punches me playfully in the arm.

I look at Amar and the kindness in his eyes eases me the way it always does for some reason. "I guess you're right," I say, finally letting myself relax.

"See? That wasn't so bad," he says, smiling. "You don't need to be embarrassed around me, you know. We all have our secrets."

I scoff. "It's not a secret if someone else knows."

"It is if that someone else is your friend and promises to keep it a secret."

Marcus kept me locked up most of the time, so Amar is the first real friend I've ever had. When he barely even knew me he gave me a new name, helped me start over. He even took me out a couple of times with friends of his, blessing me with a much less than socially appropriate exhibition of the Dauntless lifestyle. Last night we played Dare and I watched him pull his butt out in front of a bunch of Erudite noses. I've never laughed so hard in my life. I was dared to get a tattoo, and even then Amar protected my secrets, justifying the scars on my body by some other means other than my sadistic father.

There is something in me that wants to trust Amar more than I've ever trusted anyone. But then there's something else holding me back, something I can't quite put my finger on.

"Ok," Amar says with a sigh as he sits up off the wall, sensing my reserve. "How about we square things off a little? I'm gonna tell you something about me that not many people know." He smiles at me and I wait expectantly. And then he says, "I'm gay."

He waits for a reaction from me but I don't know how to react because I've never heard the word before a day in my life. "What does that mean?" I ask.

Amar looks at me curiously for a while and then he says, "It means I don't do girls."

"Oh." Then I ask, "So you're celibate then?" But that's not really a big secret. At least not for me. In Abnegation boys and girls don't get to mix and hold hands and play around like they do so freely here in Dauntless. And we're only allowed to date when we're of marrying age. Celibacy before marriage is actually enforced in Abnegation, but I guess among the Dauntless they might think it's downright strange.

Amar laughs heartily as he presses his palm against his forehead and I instantly begin to feel uncomfortable again. Why is he laughing at me?

"I'm not celibate, Four," Amar says, still laughing a little. "I'm into guys."

I gasp and then I stay quiet for too long trying to make sense of what he's saying. He can't be saying what I think he's saying… Can he? He smiles as he sees the wheels turning in my head and suddenly I know that I'm right.

"But… How does that work?" I stutter. "I mean… Is that really a thing? Is that… allowed?" I ask carefully.

"Yeah," Amar simply nods. And I have to remind myself to close my mouth. I have to remind myself that I'm not in Abnegation anymore.

"So… why don't people know? Are you ashamed of it?" I ask.

"No, I'm not," he says levelly. "I don't deny it if people have the balls to ask me, and all my closest friends and my family know. But I don't go around advertising it either, but that's just because people can be stupid, Four. Especially the guys. They think that just because I'm gay that automatically means that I'm in love with every single man in Dauntless, themselves included." He rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

"And you're not?"

Amar simply smiles at me. "Considering your upbringing, I'm gonna let that slide and use this as an opportunity to educate you," he says kindly. "No. I'm not in love with every man in Dauntless. In fact I'm not in love with any of them. I have likes, dislikes, and preferences just like any other person."

Just like any other person, yet these types of relationships are unheard of in Abnegation. I can hear Marcus already, although he's nowhere in the vicinity. "Selfish! Selfish! Selfish!" he'd scream, and he'd be right. I mean, a relationship of such nature could only be selfish. What purpose would it have? It could never fulfill the most basic responsibility of humankind, which is to guarantee our continued survival. That should be important. Even more so when you live in the lone city that's all of what's left of mankind.

"It's not wrong you know," Amar says, almost as if he senses where my head is at.

"What isn't?" I ask anyways.

"To pursue happiness," he replies. But I don't know what to say to that. Happiness is all but a foreign concept to me. I've been bred to forget self.

"What makes you happy, Four?" Amar asks, sitting up a little straighter and looking at me intently. "You never spend any time with the other initiates and I literally have to beg you to come out with us. Joining a faction is about more than getting through initiation, you know. For most of the Dauntless, they meet their best friends during initiation, their girlfriends, boyfriends, whatever. Enemies, too. But you seem determined not to have any of those things."

I shrug. "I'm used to being alone," I say.

"Yeah, but do you like being alone? What do you enjoy doing? What are your preferences?"

I've seen the other initiates together, getting pierced together and showing up to training with red, studded noses and ears and lips, or building towers out of food scraps at the breakfast table. It never even occurred to me that I could be one of them, or that I should try to be. It's like the natural instinct of a desire for pleasure and delight have been squeezed right out of me, like venom squeezed out of a wound.

"I don't know," I say finally.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I don't know. I've never thought about it." I've never been allowed to think about it.

Letting out a breath, Amar leans back into the wall. "You Abnegation are all sorts of fucked up."

I chuckle. "What about you? What makes you happy?" I press my head back into the wall and I turn to the side so that my face and Amar's are only inches apart when he turns to face me too. I've realized that I love watching him talk. I love the energy and emotion that he puts behind everything that he says. It's like he's alive in a way that I've only ever dreamt of being.

Amar smiles. "Food, games, friends… and honestly? You," he says seriously. "I like you, Four. I won't lie to you. I find your virtue and chivalry refreshing. You make me feel like there really is some good left in the world." And when I find myself blushing for some reason, Amar says, "And when you do things like that it makes me wonder if you like me too."

I suddenly catch myself and I even out the grin on my face. Swallowing hard I say, "What do you mean?"

"I see the way you look at me sometimes," he says. "I've noticed the way you're comfortable when I sit close to you and the way you let me touch your hand just now, but you cringe when anyone else tries to touch you. And then you flush whenever I compliment you." And he smiles and says, "It's adorable, really."

And then I just stare at him, holding my breath.

I wish I knew why I feel the way I do around him and why he affects me in a way that no one else does, but I don't, because the truth is I don't even know what I feel for him. Maybe this is what friendship feels like, but what if he's right and this is more? I don't know because I've never felt this way about someone before; girl or otherwise. And if I were in Abnegation, if I ever did find a girl that I liked, I would go over to her house for dinner with her family, I would find out what volunteering project she was working on and insinuate myself into it. Not because that's what I would have necessarily wanted, but because that's what would have been expected of me.

In Dauntless where my choices are my own and my boundaries are the ones I make for myself, I have no idea how to go about this, or how to know if I even like him that way any at all. I mean, before today I never even knew that Amar and I could be more than just friends if we only ever wanted to be.

"This is… new territory for me, Amar," I say softly.

"I know that," Amar says. "Yet you're still sitting here after I just confessed that I like you. That means something."

I nod because I know that he's right. And as I look into his eyes I can't deny that although I don't know what it is, there's something between us, something meaningful. He takes my hand in his and I smile when he does.

Suddenly, the inches between our faces disappear and I feel rough yet moist lips against my own as Amar presses a kiss there. I feel a charge rush through me and I panic and I freeze, my lips stiff and unyielding. And I stare wide-eyed at Amar as he pulls away with a pained look in his eyes.

"If you're not into guys or into me just say so," he says to me, hurt. "I can respect that. But don't play with me."

I let go of his hand and I stand to my feet, unsure of what to do or what to say. Didn't he feel it?

"I'm not," I say nervously, rubbing the back of my neck.

"You're not what?," Amar says, looking up at me. "Into guys? Or playing with me?"

But I'm too afraid to face the answer, so I say nothing… and then I walk away.

A/N: Loved it? Hated it? Let me know ;) I'll be back in a few.