Shuuhei ran. There was nothing to explain the irrational fear going through him, but it was there. There was darkness, and he smelled blood. As soon as this became evident to him, he felt an even deeper fear shudder through him. It was the room, the same place where he had watched his parent's being murdered.
Shuuhei didn't want to, but his mind and body reacted on its own, propelling him forwards to the small crack of light. His eyes widened as he looked through and he felt the childish curiosity from before take over. Shuuhei felt like he had once been, trying to understand just what was going on before him.
His father was lying on the floor, back to him. e heard his mother crying, her body pressed against the table. The brunette prepared to run out and help his parents when another figure suddenly appaeared, walking from the right. Something glinted in their hand, but he couldn't see their face. The crying grew louder, Shuuhei feeling his own tears welling in his eyes.
His father began to struggle as the figure hovered closer to his mother, the shadow suddenly turning to him. The brunette instantly shrunk back, body shaking with fear. The figure kicked his father and he rolled over, Shuuhei able to see his eyes. He knew immediately that those eyes would haunt him forever.
They were sad, angry, and full of fear, glinting with tears in the darkness. Shuuhei shifted closer, watching as the figure moved back to his mother. His heart sped up, tears beginning to run down his face as he gasped, finally realizing what the man meant to do. That was when his father seen him.
The man shook his head violently, pleading with the brunette throug his eyes not to say anything. Shuuhei felt his breath being sucked out of him as the figure raised what he realized was a knife. He readied to run out but his father shook his head no, motioning with his feet to run.
Shuuhei sat there, mouth opened in a silent scream as the knife dove down. He heard his mother scream in pain, saw the blood drip onto the floor, his tears eventually blurring his vision. It all happened so quickly. He couldn't move, his body shaking with terror and sadness at what he had just witnessed.
Shuuhei shuffled backwards as the figure came towards him, but he realized that they hadn't seen him just yet. His father looked at him with wide, screaming eyes. But he couldn't move; the fear kept him rooted there, eyes and mouth wide as his limbs shook.
The shadowy figure, one he knew would haunt him forever, placed his foot against is fathers' side, pressing down. Shuuhei whimpered as the knife dove down, a splatter of blood going across the paper screen before him. A drop of it landed just below his right eye, running down his face.
The brunette finally felt himself move, his feet propelling him as he ran. He wasn't sure where he was going. All he knew was that he couldn't stay there any longer. He heard breathing and the pounding of footsteps, but they weren't human.
Something crashed into him, Shuuhei rolling along the ground until he slammed into a fence. The brunette forced himself to sit up, eyes wide as he looked in the direction from which he came. A large, four-legged creature stood snarling at him. It moved forward, Shuuhei's body shaking with fear and realization at what was about to happen to him.
Those eyes flashed, white teeth glinting in the darkness as foul breath washed over him. The dog moved forwards, leaping at him. Shuuhei felt claws dig into his shoulders, teeth about to close over his face.
The brunette jolted upright, his sudden movement causing his body to slip onto the floor. Shuuhei whimpered, curling up against the cold floor. His shoulders were shaking, tears falling onto the floor. "Hey, hey, hey," a voice whispered, the brunette flinching as someone touched him. Warm arms pulled him against someone's chest, Shuuhei struggling to get away. He was still in shock from the nightmare, and he hadn't fully regained his memory yet.
"Shuu, calm down. It's me," that voice whispered again, the brunette's breath slowly easing back into a normal pattern. "Sai," he whispered, clinging to his lover. "It'll be okay. You're safe now." Shuuhei whimpered, hiding his face in the raven's chest. Sai rubbed his head gently, holding him to his body tightly.
"It's cold on the floor. Come back to bed," he whispered, lifting the brunette from the floor. Shuuhei curled against the bed, Sai slipping in next to him to pull the blanket over their bodies. The raven wrapped his arms around Shuuhei, rubbing his back gently.
"My scar hurts," Shuuhei said quietly, reaching up to rub at it. "It's today, isn't it?" Sai asked, the brunette shaking in response. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry!" Tears stained his cheeks, sobs wracking his body. "No, no, no, don't apologize! Shuu, it wasn't your fault."
Shuuhei clung to the other. It had been is fault. He had frozen in fear and let his parents be killed without so much as trying to help them. "B-but it w-was! I d-didn't do anyth-ing!" Sai stroked his head gently, lowering his mouth to Shuuhei's ear. "You did everything that you could, Shuu. You were even attacked, so don't blame yourself."
The brunette was silent, his shaking the only sign of his inner turmoil. But soon that stopped altogether as he fell back asleep. Sai held him, trying to understand just why Shuuhei was different. There was something about him that was different than the others. It may have been the lonliness inside of him or even the vunerability that the brunette had.
Either way, the facade that the other put on in front of people was anything but how he truly was. In reality, Shuuhei was a very sad being, and before he had met Sai, he only left his room to go to classes and movie sets. Other than that, he had kept to himself.
Sai planted a kiss on Shuuhei's head before he too slipped into sleep.
The next time they woke, Shuuhei was surprised that Sai was still with him. He usually left before the brunette would wake. So he held still, looking up at his lover's sleeping face. Sai was surprisingly peaceful, his breath quiet and even. Shuuhei closed his eyes and snuggled closer to the raven, feeling those arms tighten around him.
"It's okay, Shuu," Sai murmured, his eyes opening. The brunette looked at him for a moment before hiding his head in the oters' chest. "You're still here," he mumbled, fingers tightening in his shirt. "Why would I leave?" Shuuhei looked up at Sai again. "You're always gone when I wake up so . . ."
Sai's arms wrapped around him, hand petting his head gently. "Today's different," the raven murmured. Because you don't have a client or because you pity me, Shuuhei thought, rolling away from his lover. He didn't want to see his face at that moment. "Shuu, what's wrong with you?" He asked, wrapping his arms around the brunette's chest.
"Why now? Is it because of last night?" Shuuhei whispered, feeling fresh tears well up in his eyes. He'd told Sai that he was done crying, but that was for a completely different man. "I feel bad for you, Shuu. I want to be here to comfort you when you need it." The brunette curled in on himself slightly, a few tears sliding down his cheeks.
"So I was right. You are looking down on me," Shuuhei whispered. "Of course not, Shuu! I want to be here when you feel upset, and nightmares certainly fall into that category!" The brunette felt another tear slid down his cheek and he sat up, hiding his face in his hands. "I'm sorry, Sai! I was just so scared and I . . . It's just I . . ." The raven sat up, pulling Shuuhei into his arms.
"You don't have to be scared anymore. I'm here for you, so you aren't alone anymore." That voice made him shudder, heated tears falling onto his lover's shoulder. "Why won't you let me comfort you? Everytime I attempt to help you. you push me away and act like nothing happened. Why can't I take away your lonliness too?"
Shuuhei sobbed against the other, half from his nightmare and half from the sudden realization that he knew almost nothing about Sai. The raven knew numerous things about him, his past, how he had grown up. But all Shuuhei knew about the other was his name. As that became apparent to him, the brunette fell silent, slumping against the other.
"Have you calmed down now? Why don't we go take a shower?" Shuuhei kept silent, Sai gripping his shoulders gently so that he could move the brunette away from him. "Hey, Shuu~" He swallowed and looked up at his lover. "Who . . . who are you?"
Sai was taken aback, his eyes wide. "S-shuu, you don't . . . recognize me?" Shuuhei shook his head. "I know your name and your face, even your body but . . . I don't know you." The raven shifted backwards a few inches, staring at his lover with surprised, disbelieving eyes. "You know almost everything about me but I . . . don't know you." Shuuhei brought his knees to his chest, hiding his face from the other.
"Shuu . . . I . . ." Sai began, but he couldn't seem to finish his words. How could he explain to the brunette that he hadn't intended on staying with him? How could he tell Shuuhei that their encounter was supposed to be a one night stand without hurting him? ". . . I wasn't ready to tell you yet."
Sai watched as Shuuhei's face completely changed, turning into a mix between hurt, understanding, and . . . self-loathing? For himself? "No, it's okay Shuu. I'll tell you one day, just not now." But how could he promise something so uncertain?
"I'm sorry," he heard the other whisper, staring down at the sheets. Sai moved forwards again, wrapping the other in his arms gently. "It's not your fault. You didn't know." They sat like that for a short while. "Are you still offering that shower?" Shuuhei murmured into his shirt, closing his eyes.
"If you're still up for it," the raven said. The brunette gave a small smile; love was such a horrible thing sometimes.