And here I am, lying on my bed thinking if she ever loved me... like I loved her.
Because I tried to, I thought that I was doing well. But each fight... were clear signs that I was wrong... and I didn't notice it.
I shouldn't let my feelings go around her, it hurt me, it shouldn't be like that. I loved her, and I still love her, and everytime I remember that I let her go, I think I'm an idiot. I could stopped her, I could told her that I didn't want it to end so soon... but I didn't tell her that. I told her that we could broke up at midnight, because I wanted to spend a little more of my life with her. A little more. I notice too late that it was not what I wanted, I want to spend all my life with her, but I wasn't too brave to tell it to her in that moment, if only I had dared...
And now I'm such a stupid, using Carly to make Sam jealous... Carly... the girl who I thought I was in love, but it wasn't true. I never fell in love with her, I only thought it. What would I did? I had in front a pretty, intelligent, friendly and funny girl... it was normal that I thought I loved her. But, with Sam... it wasn't only a thought, it was a feeling that I noticed very soon, but I decided to ignore it. Why did I do that? Now, maybe I wouldn't thinking about this lying on my bed if I didn't decide to ignore it. But I can't turn back time...
- Focus Freddie - It's true, I've deviated from the topic, by going where? Oh, now I remember...
And now I'm such a stupid, using Carly to make Sam jealous, for revenge. Revenge of what? She also tried to make me jealous, so... she still loves me, or at least that's what I want to think... but still hurt that she did it. Why don't I approach her and I tell her that I still in love with her, that I never forgot her? It would be so easy... and so difficult at the same time.
I'm a coward for not try it. What could I lose? Nothing, I would only get one more humiliation from Sam Puckett. Only one more. And... what could I win? The girl of my dreams. Do you thing it's little? Because I think it's the greatest thing in the world.
My mother already told me: "you shouldn't listen to other people's conversations". She was right, if I didn't listen to Carly, Spencer and his girlfriend/babysitter's conversation... maybe Sam and I would be watching a film now. But, what are you talking about Freddie? The fault is only mine, for letting her go, and I will be angry with myself for doing that.
But I can fix it, I only have to tell her that I love her. I have to be brave, if I don't do it now, I won't forgive myself in the rest of my life.
I stand up of my bed and I sit down, I pick up my mobile phone from my night table and I try to dial her number. But I don't dare, nerves prevent me from doing it. But I have to do something, so I send her the simplest, clearest and most direct text message that I can think at this moment
''I love you!"
I leave the mobile phone on the night table and I lie down on my bed again.
And even if I try, I can't stop thinking is she ever loved me... like I do.
And here I am, lying on my bed thinking about him.
Why? Why I mess with him since I know him? Maybe the things wouldn't be like that. The first time I saw him... I liked to know him and be his friend... or something more. But while I was walking towards the boy who probably will be my first love, he started to flirt with Carly, my best friend.
It's true, I was frustrated, but I shouldn't act like I did. I walked towards them, but changing my thoughts about that boy. Trying to hide my feelings the way that I did.
I managed to hide it many years, and as more time passed, more consumed me that feeling inside of me. I thought I forgot him, but I was wrong... you don't know how much I was wrong. Since our first kiss, I can't stop thinking about him. If I just avoided it... but I didn't, I couldn't avoid something that I was waiting all my life. It happened, and that kiss made my feelings grow all that dropped in the last years.
Until I could no more. I... just kissed him, that night. I would expect any reaction from him, but he wasn't altered... or angry, he just... smiled at me.
Finally we could be together, as I had wished for so long, but it didn't work for my fault. If I didn't mess with him since the beginning, if we didn't pretend a false hate for each other for so many years... maybe we wouldn't fight so much and it all wouldn't finish like it did.
Because now, I would like to be at his home, watching a film lying on his lap. But here I am, lying on my bed while some tears are streaming down my face.
All the happy times I spent with him, pass in front of my eyes as in a slide show. And I miss every one of those moments. I shouldn't broke up with him, it is the most stupid thing I've done.
Suddenly, I hear a beep from my mobile phone. A message, apparently. But I don't find it. Why don't I tidy my room? Finally, I see it inside a pocket of one of my trousers, so I pick it up and I sit on my bed to read the message. It's from... Freddie:
''I love you!''
He had told me that he love me... What should I do? I am a coward, but... I can't let me be a coward, I'm Sam Puckett, so I answer him:
''I love you too''
I leave the mobile phone on the night table and I lie down on my bed again.
And even if I try, I can't stop thinking about him.
Did you like it? I hope so :) I hope to leave me reviews for this chapter, because I have decided that it will be a two-shots.
:: See you later ::