All I Have Left

by hikari-aozora

You, Roxas, are all I have ever had.

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---- ALL I Have Left ----

---- a oneshot by ----

---- hikari-aozora ----

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It was bright.

Really bright.

So Roxas was forced to squint his eyes as he stared across the bland table at Namine. The young witch, on the other hand, was busily drawing who-knows-what on her sketchpad ... as usual.

Usual was right. That's all she ever did.

It's not like her obsession with drawing particularly annoyed Roxas, but considering they were good friends, he just wished that she would take time away from her sketches to look at him, for a change ...

At least every once and a while ...

It was quiet.

Too quiet.

But that's how it was around here these days, ever since she told him he was ... ahem ... never meant to exist.

The blonde boy sighed and lowered his head, suddenly finding a single gold speck on the table he was seated at quite fascinating. He scratched at it, attempting to remove the imperfection, but alas, his spiky tresses fell into his face, and his view was obstructed. Oh, well, he thought. It doesn't matter anyway.

Nothing mattered anymore.

Sketch.

Sketch.

Sketch.

He sighed, letting his hand slide off of the table and into his lap. Slowly, he raised his head, so that once again his gaze was focused on the girl, her golden locks of hair cascading over the top of her open sketchpad. He blinked once, twice, as if expecting her to look up when she sensed his eyes on her, but she never did.

Silence.

He broke it. "Hey, Namine?" he called softly, his voice dripping with a mixture of boredom, sadness, and confusion.

She heard him, but she never looked up. "Hmm?" was her simple reply.

"I'm not ... bothering you, am I?" he asked. The answer was obvious; if he had been bothering her, she would have been distracted in some way. But no, she was as focused on her work as ever ... whatever it was that she was doing.

The girl shook her head, and then lifted a hand to reposition the hairs that had just been knocked out of place. "Of course not, Roxas," she said, and he assumed she was smiling.

They sat in silence for a while longer, as Roxas waited for an extention to her reply. When it didn't come, his face fell, and he shrugged. He had been expecting a, "I enjoy your company, Roxas," or even a, "Why do you ask?" Was that too much to ask for?

Brushing this aside, he decided to answer the latter question anyways. "It's just that ..." He sighed again, his shoulders heaving, but he never took his eyes off her. "Well," he continued, "don't you think ... all this silence ... is a bit boring?"

Namine cocked her head slightly backward and to one side, uncovering her eyes which mimicked the deep, azure blue of his own. She twirled her pencil around in her fingers, its point facing upward as she erased an apparent mistake. Then, after she had finished her corrections, the pencil swiveled again, and she continued in her work. This task was completed with so much delicacy and focus that, for a moment, Roxas actually believed she hadn't heard his question. But then, just as he opened his mouth to restate it, she acknowledged him. "You could always hang out with your friends for the day, instead of coming here," she said. "You know ... Hayner, Pence, and Olette."

Roxas grunted in response. "I wish I could ..."

"And why can't you?"

This last statement of hers stunned the boy. He sat there, frozen, gaping at her, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open in astonishment. For one thing, he had said that so quietly he was sure that she wouldn't here, and for another, she, of all people should know exactly why!

Was she mentally challenged?

Roxas clenched his teeth to hold in his frustration. This ... on top of everything else ... was overwhelming. Talk of the Organization ... his past life ... his pitiful existence ... the chance that he could just one day up and disappear ... fading ...

It was a lot to handle.

Too much to handle.

But there's nothing I can do about it ... is there?

He sighed heavily, breathing away the pain in his heard, closing his eyes in hopes that maybe, when he opened them, it would all just be ... gone.

But when he slowly lifted his eyelids, nothing had changed. He was still sitting in this stark, white room at this stark, white table in this stark, white chair. He was in the same damn place.

And nothing was going to change that.

Sigh.

So why should he be angry? It's not like he could actually feel the anger anyway ... right?

Then why does this pan feel so real?

"You ..." His eyes wandered back to where they had started, fixed upon the girl seated so close to him, yet so far away. She was unique, she was special, she was gifted, and yet, they weren't so different. True, dispite being a bit vague and reserved, she had been nothing but kind, patient, and understanding. He couldn't be angry with her no matter how hard he tried.

So, as the faintest smile graced his features, he uttered those painful words that were so hard to say.

"You're all I have left, Namine."

The girl slowed to a stop, so that she was frozen in place, letting the words sink in. She blinked a few times, and swallowed hard, but besides that, made no movements in reaction to his statement. All he has left ... huh ...? she thought, really considering his words. Does that mean ... am I ... really that important to him, now?

Blink.

Blink.

Roxas was still waiting patiently for a reply. She's got to feel something, he thought. I mean, she'd at least feel sorry for me, right? She's part of the reason, after all.

But no. She didn't move. For what seemed like ages, they just sat there, completely still, silent as ever. The absense of sound was painful, heart-wrenching ... and just so absurd! And yet, this had become routine for them, this pattern of siting still with blank looks on their faces, just sitting, just thinking. Don't get him wrong, Roxas loved having Namine as a friend. But at least, when they had first met, they'd had something to talk about, even if it was life, the pointlessness of it all, and how it was never meant to be in the first place.

So what the hell were they still doing here?

"Namine--"

"If you want me to feel sorry for you, Roxas," the girl began, cutting sharply through his sentence, "it's not going to happen." Her head snapped up at that, and in her usually kind, understanding eyes, he saw the faintest glimmer of anger. "And do you want to know why, Roxas?"

Roxas was almost afraid to answer the question. For as long as he had known Namine, though it was but a short time, he had never seen her even the slightest bit upset. So, reluctantly, and with a bit of hesitation, he finally replied. "Um ... why ...?"

Namine instantly jolted up out of her seat, her palms slapped flat on the table, her chair toppling over behind her, and her beloved sketchpad fluttering to the floor. Her lips were pursed, her eyes opened psychotically wide, and for once, Roxas was actually frightened. "Because, Roxas," she began, struggling to keep her tone low, but astonishingly intense, "you say that I am all you have left. But you Roxas, are all I have ever had!"

The glimmer of anger in her eyes turned into shimmering tears, and Roxas watched in horror as one trickled down her cheek. His mouth hung open in astonishment. "N-Namine ..." he said, slowly getting to his feet and extending an arm to her as a gesture of what he hoped was interpereted as kindness and consolidation, but Namine just shook her head furiously in response.

"No!" she shouted, and she pulled her own arms in close to her body. "Don't try to comfort me, Roxas, because you have no idea what it was like! You have no idea how painful it was to know that there was nobody you could talk to, nobody who would listen, and when you cried, nobody would be there to comfort you!" She kept her gaze locked with Roxas' for a few agonizing seconds, and then she broke away, abruptly turning her head to the side, folding her arms around herself. And then, she began to cry.

And all Roxas could do was watch.

That was all he could do.

Because he knew all too well that the pain, guilt, and overwhelming urge to hold Namine in a comforting embrace he was feeling right now were nothing.

Or at least ... that's what I keep telling myself ...

And so, before Namine could let out another sob, she found herself in a warm embrace, Roxas' arms wrapped around her small frame, her head resting delicately on his chest, muffling her cries. He was holding on to her tightly, as if he never wanted to let go. She tilted her head upward, looking into his enchanting eyes, and he smiled, brushing away the stray tears with his thumb before letting his hand fall back into place around her body. All of the sadness, all of the pain fled her body, and she smiled back, throwing her arms around his neck and resting her head against his chest once again. She felt safe, she felt happy ...

And for once in her accidental life, despite the fact that her heart was racing because of the contact, she actually felt important.

"It's alright, Namine," Roxas said softly, stroking her hair to calm her down, his warm words soothing her. "You have me now ... and I have you ... We don't have to feel alone anymore ..."

Upon hearing these words, Namine looked up at Roxas again. "A-And you won't ever leave?" she asked him.

He smiled down at her, and said, in a reassuring tone, "And I won't ever leave."

Namine grinned back, relieved to hear him say that. "Thank you, Roxas," she said

Roxas chuckled and hugged the girl to him once more. "You're welcome, Namine," he replied.

The girl sighed, and she smiled even wider than before. For once, she felt whole, complete, as if nothing could go wrong. She had someone beside her to talk to, who would listen, and comfort her when she cried. "You truely are a great friend, Roxas," she told him. "I would be lost without you."

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(A/N: My first Roxas x Namine piece. Fluffy. I like fluff. R&R, and flame, if you must. Oh yeah, and if you like it, feel free to subscribe to the C2 (whatever it stands for) I created, and make me happy XD! It's full of lots of other pieces like this, thanks to my awesome staff! Happy fanfic reading!)