They sat around the dinner table, quietly listening to each other chewing. The TV was on in the background. It was lasagna yet again.
"Do you wanna come over and play today?" she asked with hopeful joy radiating from her round eyes. He sent her a smile. "Sure, mom said we're coming over for dinner."
She glanced up at him. He was watching the television as always while eating with his elbows off the table.
"Same news as yesterday?" she asked and tilted her head into her palm, trailing patterns in the juices on her plate with a fork.
"Yeah."
The boys pretended to run as fast as they could when the girls came charging after them. A cold breeze spread across the school yard, cooling down their young flushed faces. Her friend, Elizabeth, caught up with one of their classmates, and she called everyone over when she finally got a hold of his shirt. "No!" Gilbert complained and tried to cover his face with his hands.
"Thanks for dinner." The tall guy opposite her pushed his chair back and collected his service.
"Aren't you gonna sit with us till we're done?" his mother asked.
He shook his head. "I have to study for my last exam."
She watched as he left and as his mother started to complain about him being an unmannerly teenager, her father just nodded.
Looking down at her plate, she poked the greasy pasta mountain a few times.
He was running just a few centimeters ahead of her when she caught his scarf. The other girls came to her aid and held him even though he did little to fight back as she leaned closer to place a kiss on his cheek. Most had to stop and take a break to catch their breaths at that point.
"Can I be excused?" she asked a few minutes later.
Her father looked at her plate and then back up at her. "You hardly touched your food."
She shrugged. "I'm not very hungry."
"Kids these days."
She and Natalia watched from afar as Elizabeth made her way over to the blond boy with pointy hair.
She knocked on his door.
"It's from Bella," Elizabeth stated and handed him a folded piece of paper.
"Tim?" she cracked the door open and peeked inside. He was sitting at his desk with a pencil in one hand, looking at her over his shoulder.
"Yeah?"
"Will you be my boyfriend? Check "yes", "no" or "maybe"," the letter read. He smiled to himself, borrowing a pen from Elizabeth. The brunette took the neatly folded letter back to her awaiting friend.
"Can I watch Beverly Hills in here?"
She unfolded it in anticipation.
"Sure. Just keep the volume down."
She smiled.
And she sat down on his bed, turning on the TV even if she knew the squared box was the last thing she would be watching.
"Aw, don't they look cute together," Tim's mother said. The two kids could easily listen in on their parents' conversation, but they kept on playing. "It's hard to believe it's already been 6 years. I've barely known my husband for that long." Bella's mother replied. "Yeah. Can you imagine having a friend you've known from the minute you were born?" "No, I don't think that happens very often. People just grow apart, don't they?" "I'm sure these two won't, now, will you?" she said, directly approaching the two kids who were sitting on the ground near them. "You're gonna get married someday and have kids and grow old together." They both went red. "Stop it, mom," Tim mumbled while both kids' eyes stared holes in their muddy shoes.
The cellphone next to Tim vibrated and he picked it up without even looking at the caller ID.
She watched him closely as he leaned back in his seat, silently listening to the person on the other end of the line.
It was not hard to guess who it was.
Tim's eyes were fixed on her, his hands buried in his lap. The tears streamed down her face. She did not even care to try and hide it. Neither of them needed to say anything. He knew exactly how she felt seeing that he had been through the exact same thing just a week earlier. "Do you. Think. They'll. Ever. F-find back. To-to-together?" He found her eyes and wrapped his arms around her jumpy body. "Maybe."
After some time, he put down his cell and went back to his homework.
"Who was it?" she asked.
"Natalia."
"Is she coming over tonight?"
"Yes."
"Oh." She slid her legs to the side, her feet touching the carpet. "I'll go to my room then."
"Okay."
He did not look at her once.
Homework had gotten a lot more difficult now that Bella was in 3rd grade. She was fortunate to have someone like Tim to help her. He had been through it all the year before, after all. While explaining something about division, he reached his hand out to point at something on the paper, brushing her hand in the process. It made her smile. Whenever he touched her, she got this warm and fuzzy feeling inside her body. She could not quite explain it, but she imagined a soft kitty lightly brushing up against her heart. All the girls in her class were jealous of their relationship. They wanted a boyfriend too, but most boys their age were not interested in girls yet. She felt lucky that Tim still wanted to be with her even though his friends teased him with having a younger girlfriend. "Kids?" They both looked up at the two people in front of them. Tim's mother sat down next to him, but Bella's father kept standing. "There's something we wanna tell you."
She pulled off her pants and put on an old, washed-out t-shirt, noticing her reflection in the mirror before she went to lie down on her bed.
Tim and Bella were speechless. "Isn't it great? Now you get to play everyday." Tim's mother ran a hand over his hair. "And you get the brother you always wanted," Bella's father added.
She stared into thin air, not being able to sleep.
It was always like this whenever Natalia came over.
"Did you hear yet?" "Hear what?" "Your brother and Natalia are dating, isn't it great?" Bella stared at her best friend. Even she did not seem to think there was anything wrong with their common friend dating Bella's childhood crush and boyfriend. It seemed everyone had forgotten about it. Then again, they were just kids back then, right? It was not anything serious. They were high school students now. And they were siblings. Natalia could do whatever she wanted. Same went for Tim.
The doorbell rang and soon after, she heard Natalia's voice.
It made her cry.
She was not sure why, but she just could not keep the tears from falling.
The sting in her heart had not felt nearly as bad with his previous girlfriends.
Her eyes were plastered to her brother and his girl that sat at another table, talking. When a slow song started playing, Natalia yanked Tim to his feet and dragged him out onto the dance floor. She was so focused on them that she did not even notice Mathias – Tim's closest friend – before he was close enough to touch her. "Wanna dance?" "... Okay," she answered, not giving it much thought.
She did her best at muffling down her sobs.
"I'm sorry, but this isn't working out." "What do you mean, did I do something wrong?" "No." They had been going out for nearly a year. She knew she should have told him sooner, but she just never knew what exactly to say. He was a great guy, not the type she would usually hang around with, but he was fine once you got to know him, and he had always been nice to her. She had no reason to break up with him. That was what made it so hard. Tim had not even mentioned their relationship. He had just told them "Cool," when he first found out they were together. She truly regretted those 10 months.
-
Bella came home from school late that day. She let herself be persuaded into going to a café after school with Elizabeth and Natalia. She was not thrilled about the idea of spending time with Natalia, but she could not keep turning them down without them starting to ask questions.
Dropping her bag onto the floor, she went to the kitchen to get herself a nice, cold glass of juice before heading for her room.
But she stopped in her tracks when she was just outside her brother's door.
She had a feeling she knew what was going on in there, but she could not stop herself from stealing a glance through the keyhole.
And the glance became a stare.
She wanted to move away. Give him privacy. But her eyes were locked to him.
His broad back arched.
She loved his back.
He was beautiful even when he sat on his bed with his pants around his ankles, watching girls making out and touching each other on his computer.
Her heart pounded faster. She should not be watching him.
He suddenly stopped and she was afraid he had noticed her. But he just sat there quietly for a brief moment.
Then he closed his browser and hesitantly led the mouse towards a folder on his desktop filled with various pictures.
Now she found herself watching her brother finishing himself off while looking at a picture of her. His sister. A picture of her smiling right into the camera lens.
She was shocked.
And flattered.
And felt strangely happy.
She was not sure what this feeling meant. It was like greeting and old friend you had not seen in a long time. A feeling that was never gone, but had been kept locked away inside her for obvious reasons.
When he buried his head in his hands, she was sort of disappointed.
But she gained back focus and sprinted back into the hall as soon as he slammed his laptop shut, pulled up his pants and went for the door.
In a way, he looked surprised to see her when they met in the hallway on his way to the bathroom. But he did not answer her when she said, hey.
Later that same evening, when their parents had gone to the theater, Tim was studying at his desk when Bella entered his room without permission or any warning.
Her hair was still wet and she had put it up into a bun on the top of her head so it would not soak the shoulders of her kimono.
He looked at her for second before returning to his computer. "What's up?"
The room went silent.
"Tim?" she whispered.
When he finally turned around on his chair, she made sure to lock eyes with him. She needed time to build up enough courage to loosen the silky belt around her waist and let the kimono slide off of her shoulders.
She gazed at him. He gazed right back.
He was definitely caught off guard. His expression told her so. It was a nice change compared to the usual stoic face he wore in almost any kind of situation.
She looked at him with great anticipation when he got up from his chair and came over to her. But he simply picked up her robe, handed it to her, and went back to his computer.
She stared at his back for what seemed like forever
Then she left.
-
Elizabeth placed the tray with 20 shots lined next to each other in front of Bella.
"Let's get started," she said, smiling widely. "Can you believe it's already been two years? Only one year to go. I thought high school would never end."
"Me neither."
"Cheers."
They took 5 shots each before they were interrupted.
"Bella, you need to come, fast!" It was Michelle.
"What?"
"Tim and Mathias are fighting!" They knew she was probably being a tad over dramatic.
She sighed, looking at the shots they still had left.
"Again?" Elizabeth asked.
Michelle nodded quickly.
When they turned the corner of the street, the first thing coming into sight were a group of people they knew from school and a police car.
Tim and Mathias were talking to each their officer.
She hurried to his side.
"Will you please step back a little," the policeman asked.
"I'm his sister. Are you taking him to the station?"
"Butt out. I already told him it was just a misunderstanding." He scowled down at her, making the officer raise a brow.
Mathias stood only a few meters away from them. She had already noted the blood running from his nose.
"I think he needs to get some sleep. If you make sure he gets home now, I'll let him off with a warning."
"I'll call a cab right away." She smiled and went to notify her friends.
Tim was awfully quiet throughout the entire drive. She asked him for what reason they had gotten into a fight this time, but he did not give her an actual answer. He only sat staring out the window.
She texted Mathias, asking if he was okay.
Mathias was alright and he wanted her to know how sorry he was for ruining her night. If there was anything he could do to make it up to her, he would. And if she was interested, he would like to ask her out for dinner.
She stared at the display for a while. Then stuffed her phone down her pocket.
"Here you go. Thanks for the ride," she said and handed the taxi driver some money Tim had given her.
Subsequently, she followed Tim to his bedroom, hoping he would open up to her.
He stood in front of his closet when stripping to his underwear and putting on a loose pair of gray sweat pants. She sat on his bed, watching.
"What happened between you two... You never used to fight like this."
"Nothing happened. He's getting on my nerves. That's all." He did not look at her. Instead, he picked up his dirty clothes and threw them into the laundry basket. "Is mom and dad home?"
"No... They went to that reunion thing, remember?"
"Oh."
They went silent.
"You should go to bed, sis."
Her eyes dropped to the floor. "It's funny. I can't seem to get used to you calling me that."
He finally looked at her. She got up and met his eyes.
They stood toe to toe. Her gaze was stiff compared to his flickering eyes.
"It was never Mathias." She grazed his arm with her fingers.
His breath felt warmer and warmer against her skin.
And their faces met in an act they had not met in for too long.
She pulled him down onto the bed, running a hand through his hair and parting her thighs.
It felt right for his hard body to move along hers.
Pressing her cheek against his, she could not stop herself from whispering, "I love you."
He paused, pushing himself a bit away to look at the person who was smiling underneath him.
She only just saw his expression changing before everything went dark.
It was impossible for him to understand what she was mumbling and when she started screaming, he put more pressure on the pillow.
Kicking, punching and pushing, she tried to make him stop.
Soon, there was no power to her attacks.
Her fingers ran down his wet cheeks just before her hand hit the tangled bed covers.
When their parents opened the door, they found Tim sitting on the edge of the bed, his head buried in his trembling hands with Bella's naked body lying right behind him.
-
"I'm almost there. Which ward was it?" She waited for his mother's answer. "Okay... Yeah, I'll say hello from you."
She walked past a sign reading, "Secure Psychiatric Unit," clutching to the bundle of flowers in her arms.
At the counter, she got a hold of a nurse. "Hello, my name is Bella, I'm here to see Tim Van Dijk."