They were dancing in a rhythm, all the dancers in the large courtyard that was. Everyone around her were wearing masks of all kinds. She couldn't tell who was who but yet she felt like she was at peace. That she belonged in a strange way. Her face was bare, her hair hung loose and her dress was tattered. But she still belonged.
"Helena." Her eyes went wide as she heard her name whispered. It echoed all around her, everywhere she turned, and yet no lips were moving. Everyone was busy dancing with each other in their masks and glorious dresses. Couldn't they hear?
"Helena." This time it only came from behind her. Quickly she turned around and and spotted a man holding out a hand to her. A sudden urge of excitement and tears rushed through her. She didn't know why, but she had this feeling that she had missed him for some time now. I don't even know his name.
"Valentine." His name slipped out of her lips as though she had known it all along. And she had, how could she ever have forgotten this lovely man? Even though he wore a mask she could easily tell anyone exactly what he looked like. Blue eyes, waist long blond hair, almost beautiful features. He was like an angel. Her angel.
He took her into his arms and began to dance to the music. She melted into his arms easily and closed her eyes feeling more relax then she could ever remember. One, two, three, four, turn. The moves played in her head over and over even though she had never danced this dance. Everything was like a dream. If it was she hoped to never wake up.
Valentine held her tightly while stroking her hair. "I missed you." His lips moved against her hair and even though he did not say she knew he missed her as well. "Keep me with you." No answer this time.
Hot breath met her ear as he whispered to her. "Hallelujah." Suddenly the atmosphere changed as he spun her in a circle. Around and around she went till she began to fall and fall. Fear rushed through her body and her mouth opened to scream but it never came. Valentine had caught her in his arms and was now cradling her.
Tears were pouring from her eyes as she looked around. They were in a building made of stone and there was only a single bed and fireplace with a small table as furniture. Glancing down at herself she saw that no clothes were on her. She was naked and Valentine was holding her. Yet, she didn't feel embarrassed and Valentine was not looking at her in a lustful way. Just a caring manner.
The moonlight poured through the window and cast it's glow on the man. He was naked as well and the light only intensified his beauty. She allowed him to put her down on the ground and he allowed her to move her hands over his body. He was warm, his skin was so soft and she thought of him perfect. Did he think of her the same?
As if to answer her thoughts Valentine pulled her up close to him and pressed his lips to her forehead. With that one single movement she knew he cared about her as much as she cared about him. Once more she was pulled close to his body and once more she ran her fingers through his long hair. Closing her eyes she felt him sway with her along the cold marble, floor. Up against him though, she was warm.
In his arms all her worries, doubts, fears went away. In his arms she was safe. "Please never let me go Valentine. Please." I want to stay in your arms forever.
He pulled away from her and looked down into her eyes. She found herself falling to her knees without his support as memories flooded her mind. Screams, evil words, blood, death. All of that and more took over her mind. Memories she thought she had forgotten. "Hallelujah." His word whispered throughout them.
She was at school now. Her hair was back to being long and her face was pierced in random places. The clothing she wore was baggy, dark and kind of stank of pot and alcohol. She was supposed to be in class but instead she was in the hallway writing down poems, songs, and her thoughts. They were both dark and morbid.
Everything was so familiar as she looked down at that other girl. It was hard to remember that this was her! This was her just two years ago! Take me away Valentine. Please take me back to you.
He answered her but not in the way she had hoped. Now she was at a dirty, old apartment. There she was a few moments ago. On the couch, beer in hand and so gone from the world not even an earthquake could wake her. Drugs littered the floor along with empty bottles that had contained hard liquor.
She was ashamed but she didn't let her eyes tear away. Valentine was showing her this for some reason and she was not going to hide. She was going to be strong, stronger then people thought she could ever be. "I wont ever be like this again Valentine. I promise."
Those words rung true to both of their ears. However, even though this was a start of a new life she still felt sick to see that pathetic version of herself. Both of those girls were no longer her but it had been her. How did she get this bad? How did she get this weak?
"Hallelujah." His whisper sounded broken and cold as though those memories were hard for even him to see. The world spun once again and she was back to facing Valentine. Both of them still naked to the other save his mask. Beautiful in all of his glory he stood with his hand reaching towards her.
"Thank you for showing me that." Helena whispered to him while standing on her tip toes and placing a small kiss on his lips. "You saved me." Those poisonous memories still played in her mind and she so wanted to get rid of them. Please give me mercy!
In a urgent try to rid of them she wrapped her arms around the man and placed her lips on his own. Her hunger and hopelessness poured through that kiss and yet Valentine pushed her away and met her eyes. She had to remember. She had to get through the pain. "It hurts though."
Pain filled his eyes and he pulled her closer to him once more. Bending down he kissed her with a soft, passion filled kiss. He moved her over to the bed and slowly laid her down allowing his eyes to caress her lovingly. Helena pleaded with her own for him to make her stronger with his love. I need you.
Valentine entered her with every inch of his soul. He moved within her, never letting her go. Every bit of strength, love, grace, and blessing moved inside of her. His hands caressed her face, his eyes bore into her own and even though his mask was still on he knew she could read him like a book. He wanted her to be happy, to be loved.
Helena moved with Valentine. She drank up everything he was giving her, never wasting a drop. Her arms wrapped around his bare body holding tightly onto him so he would never let her go again. She didn't want to be alone, she needed him, she wanted him if she wanted to survive. Keep me with you forever.
She didn't get an answer from him but she didn't care. She knew he had heard her and she knew he would answer her in his own little way. Valentine brought his lips to her ear and whispered that familiar word she had grown to love. "Hallelujah." The feeling of intensity ran through both of their bodies causing the world to spin, the colors to mold, the furniture to disappear along with Valentine.
"Helena! Helena! Wake up!" Helena opened her eyes and bolted right up only to be pushed back down onto the bed. "Oh thank God you are alright." Her mother's eyes were brimming with tears as she knelt down on the bed and caressed her daughter's face. "The doctors were afraid the alcohol poisoning might have killed you before they got there. Your neighbor had heard a loud crash and called 911."
Helena was not listening though, this was the first time her mother had ever visited her in ten years. She was putting on an act for the doctors who were smiling down with their fake grins. They didn't care if she lived or die. She was just another alcoholic to them. They were probably hoping she would die. One less trashy person in the world.
"I am fine mom." Even as she said the words she knew they didn't ring true. Valentine had left her again just like he did those two other times. And yet she still loved him because deep down she knew he loved her. She would never admit it to anyone, to everyone who knew her she loved no one. Not even herself.
Looking out the window she felt the tears start to roll down her face again. No one would see them though. The doctors had left the room and her mom was pretending to thank them while signing sheets to put her in rehab. No one would see the pain filling her core, no one would see her trying to go back to that world with Valentine. Because no one was looking.
The light from the window shined down onto her face trying to dry her tears. Helena closed her eyes tightly wanting to see if she could hear Valentine's voice. I am not strong anymore. She was though, she was stronger than before but she was still so very weak. I can't do this. She could if she tried but she feels as though she needs him. In all reality she does.
Now she was alone again in the doctor's room. She was still facing the window with the bright light and hope of Valentine. Licking her lips and drying her tears she spoke in a hush, broken, cold voice. But in her single word lay a hidden layer of strength. "Hallelujah."