Dipper and Steven were playing a video game called Contra in Candy's house, enjoying themselves to some snacks as well. Both of them were laying on their bellies, looking up at the television screen, getting REALLY into the gameplay. "Watch the guy behind you!" Steven warned Dipper as the enemies got nearer to him in the video game. They were clicking the buttons on their controllers really fast, trying to save themselves. "Jump, you bastard! Jump!" Dipper yelled at the TV. "Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot!" Steven kept warning Dipper, but then, Dipper's character got killed.
"GAAAAAAH! Fuck this racist game! They ALWAYS go after my red ass! They never bother to shoot the blue guy!" Dipper yelled in frustration, throwing his controller down, knowing that he has to pick it right back up. Steven just gave him a smug look. "Jesus, Dipper! Give it a rest! It's just a game!" Steven said, trying to calm him down.
Then, Candy just came downstairs from her bedroom to see what the guys were up to. She already knew the boys brought their game to HER house earlier today, but she just wanted some company while Grenda and Mabel went to the store to take care of a few arrends.
"Hey! What'cha play'in?" Candy asked the boys with a smile on her face and her hands behind her back. Dipper was still into Zen Mode playing the game while Steven has the time to answer Candy's question. "We're playing Contra. Well, I'M playing Contra. Dipper is just dying and making excuses..." Steven told her, pointing at the television to show it happening. As soon as Candy saw the game, she got really excited. "CONTRA?! Hot-diggety-Donky-Kong! Pass me those buttons!" she cheered in a cheerleading pose, then kneeled down REALLY close to Dipper.
Dipper felt uncomfortable to have Candy so, so close to him, but the feeling of that quickly subsided after both him and Steven heard what she just said. The boys looked at each other and started laughing, which got Candy very curious.
"Ha ha. Cute, Candy." Dipper said, still smiling when he start going back to playing the game again. "Yeah, Candy. Really funny. Regular hut full of chuckles." Steven said, going along about toying with Candy. Candy just wasn't catching on, so she asked, "Come on, guys! It's my Nintendo! Why can't I play?" They finally stopped laughing and tried to be serious with her for a minute.
"Because you're a girl, Candy. And it's a scientific fact that girls can't play Contra. Sorry." Dipper tried to be reasonable with her because he knows who Candy might react to their response. "That's why Contra is a MANLY GAME!" Steven said, as he started to play the game too. And Dipper was right, those last few words that were said really ticked her off her rocker this time. She stood up, stared at the boys and clenched her fists tight by her side. "... WHAT?!" Candy screamed, feeling like she just got rejected from a club or something. Dipper stopped playing the game for a bit and tried again to talk to her.
"Come on, Candy. It's not that we don't WANT you to play... It's just that you CAN'T! Don't take it personally!" Dipper said, giving her that annoyed look on his face, but it didn't work on her. "That's it! Step aside! I'm gonna tear through that game like a cheap six-pack!" Candy growled, shoving both Dipper and Steven aside and picked up one of the game controllers. Steven didn't like the shove, but he ignored it, wanting to see what happens next. Dipper, on the other hand, was now more worried. "Candy! No! Don't! You'll hurt yourself!" Dipper warned, but Candy ignored.
"... And after I totally dominate this game, Dipper, I'm taking you into my bedroom and I'll show you what else a girl can do!" Candy's rage continued. "Candy! Don't do it!" Dipper's final warning was trying to alert her, but it's no use. After she first pressed a few buttons and moved the joy-stick ONCE, she already noticed the pain.
"OW! MY THUMB!" Candy bawled, quickly dropping the controler. Dipper just simply gave himself a light slap on the forehead. "My thumbs! Dipper! I can't feel my thumbs!" Candy whinned, holding her hands together. "Well, maybe next time a man tells you something, you'll listen!" Steven pointed out, wanting to be in the conversation. Candy kept on refusing, trying her hardest to grab the controller again.
"Nnnnnnooo! Must... Work through pain! Beat Contra! Rub it in Dipper's ant-eating snoot!" she cried out a few words. Now, Dipper got mad yelling, "My 'WHAT', bitch?!" Then suddenly, after Candy pressed a few more buttons, she dropped it again and ran out of her house screaming in pain, "AHHHH! HANDS ON FIRE! HANDS ON FIRE!" "Women..." Steven said as Dipper just shook his head with the most pissed-off look he could ever make.
Author's Note: I might have overdid this crazy story, but I ALWAYS try to create something funny. Leave a comment if you can because that makes you awesome and thank you so much for reading.