Disclaimer: Tintin and Co belong to those chaps at Moulinsart. Is that how it's spelled? I don't know. Anyway, they're not mine. And the characters that are mine are pretty rubbish. Haha! Enjoy...
Author's Ramble: In the last You've Been Served story (which I can't top, by the way) there was a line about a ghost-hunting group holding a seance in Tintin's bedroom. This story grew from that. It was just too funny a concept not to be used. It had to be done. Many, many thanks to the wonderful K-mee (or TheFrenchGal as you may know her) for translating an increasingly strange series of phrases and old movie titles. Bless you, my friend: this is dedicated to you and every other person who reads my stories. Thanks for reading, everyone, and thanks for the kind words of encouragement and comments.
PART ONE: LES CONTES DE LA CRYPTE
29th of October
1: The Grey Morning of Misery
After it was all over, Tintin supposed that it had really all started on Monday morning at 7:30am. He was standing at the front door of Marlinspike Hall, still dressed in his pyjamas and shivering as he waited for Snowy to go to the toilet. The morning was dark and overcast, and a persistent rain had poured on Moulinsart and the surrounding countryside all weekend. A new week had bloomed, unlike the flowers, and the rain still didn't show any sign of abating. In fact, it was joined by a cold breeze and a certain damp chill that had invaded the air. He really wished he was wearing his slippers.
At the bottom of the stone steps that led up to the large front door, Snowy had finally cocked his leg and stared miserably up at his master. It was ignoble to pee outside at the best of times, but it rustled his jimmies to have to do it in the rain while someone watched. "Hurry up," Tintin hissed through chattering teeth. Then he heard a horn beep. It was loud, but distant: a truck or a lorry. Definitely nothing as small as a van. It was followed by a low rumbling.
Tintin trained his eyes on the driveway. It was flanked on either side by the leafy verge of the local forest, part of which ran through the Captain's land, making it hard to see who was coming until they had almost arrived, but luckily this truck was large enough that Tintin could see it – and recognise it with a frustrated groan – from a longer distance away.
Rhyl's Bouncy Castles, the truck read. Tintin knew it without seeing the writing (which was still hidden by the trees): the truck was a distinctive blend of rainbow colours. The Captain had used Rhyl's before, and they were good – their giant inflatable footballs were a hoot, especially when you borrowed the Captain's ride-on lawnmower to play with them – but they were also noisy and never listened to what anyone said, and there was about to be a lot of shouting and confusion.
The truck honked again as it turned and skidded to a halt outside the door. Two men jumped down from the cab and waved to Tintin. "Where do you want it, friend?"
"I don't know where it's going," Tintin called back. Snowy trotted over to the truck, sniffed it, decided it wasn't anything edible, and went back to Tintin. "Wait here, and I'll find out for you."
"We'll just start putting it up."
"Don't put it up! It's not staying here!"
"Fine, fine. You go and find out where it's going, and we'll just take it out."
"Don't take it out! Don't put it down on the ground, and don't – do not – start putting it up here! Ok?" Tintin looked from man to man. "Leave it where it is, and I'll go and find out where he wants it. Just… step inside out of the rain and leave it where it is!"
He hurried back upstairs, taking the steps two at a time, until he was outside the Captain's bedroom. He knocked once as an afterthought and pushed the door open. The Captain was still in bed, the blankets pulled up over his head. Snowy dashed passed Tintin and leaped onto the bed and started to dig, trying to reach the Captain. "Where do you want the bouncy castle?" Tintin asked urgently.
"Guh?" the Captain said. He pushed Snowy away and pulled his head out from underneath the covers. "Whu?"
"The bouncy castle. It's here. Where do you want it?"
"What?" The Captain stared at him, blinking, until he woke up a bit more. "The bouncy castle?"
"Yes, the bouncy castle. Where do you want it?"
"'snot coming till this afternoon."
"It's here now. I think they're putting it up."
"What!" The Captain sat up. "No! They're supposed to be here later, after the marquee's been put up! Tell 'em to stop what they're doing!"
"They won't listen to me!" Tintin protested. "You remember what happened last time?"
"Thundering typhoons! All them inflatable footballs in the grand hall! And you didn't help much either, with that ride-on lawnmower…"
"So what do you want to do?" Tintin demanded. "And don't blame all that on me: you were the one that fetched the lawnmower in the first place."
"Get down there and tell them to stop what they're doing," the Captain repeated firmly as he got out of bed. "I'll be down in a second. I don't care how you stall them, just stall them!"