A/N: hey everyone! I'm starting a new fic, one I've had an idea for for awhile. I figure there's no harm in doing so since I need to get back into the swing of things. I have this one pretty fleshed out so far, in terms of where I want to go with it, so I'm going to publish it and update whenever I feel I have the chapters ready to go. They likely won't come out on a regular basis but I'm going to try and go for at least once a month if I can, if not no biggie, cause I'm gonna keep updating until I'm done.

Anyway, it'll take a bit to actually get into the meat of the fic, so for now here's the prologue arc, Death is a Gateway

"This... isn't so bad." She says, looking out over the rolling fields of flowers and soft grass. "I mean, at least we have a good view, huh?"

I can't bring myself to do much more than nod in agreement, giving her the smallest and briefest of smiles. She isn't exactly enthusiastic about our current predicament, but she's certainly handling it with grace. Or, well, not really but at least she's a little more enthusiastic and lively than I am.

"That's..." I sigh, and run a hand through my hair before shrugging, not bothering to finish my train of thought.

"Hey, you know I don't blame you, right?"

I shrug in response, not bothering to say anything as I walk down the hill we were on top of, and bury myself in flowers. I can't hear whatever it is she says next, and I'm glad. I don't need her pity, and I don't need to hear whatever enthusiastic and optimistic quote she has up her sleeve. For all I know, it could be from some anime I'd never seen and she'd just be pulling the wool over my eyes. The anime wool, that is.

"Oh come on!" I can hear her shout, but thankfully she doesn't bother to deal with me just yet.

It's nice to have a moment to myself, what with all the chaos we had just been through. To all the shit I had been through. Or rather, all the shit I had done, all of the things I had caused myself. I'd buck up and deal with this like a big girl in a few hours, or days, or years, or whatever this dumb plane of existence allowed me. It wouldn't be long, but if I could nap (heh) for awhile, I'd be fine. I just needed a moment to collect my thoughts, and I'd be alright.

I just - oh god is she crying?

I rolled over onto my stomach, and peeked through the flowers and up the hill, only to confirm my question. Sarah was, indeed, crying at the top of the hill. Her head was buried in her knees and her arms were wrapped tightly around herself. Her shoulders shook with sobs, and her pink hair was a mess.

Well, that wasn't my problem, she just needed a second to cope, I understood that. Crying it out was the best idea for her, she could get out all of the sadness she had, all the shock, and she'd come out the other side all the better for it, wouldn't she? It was just a matter of time, and time heals all wounds! I sighed and flopped back onto my back, closing my eyes and stretching out on top of the soft grass. Just a little rest, and I'd be fine, just like after she got done crying, she'd be chipper and right as rain!

Oh fuck it.

I sighed and stood up, dusting myself off before going up the hill to sit next to her, wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"It's- It's not okay, but it's going to be, alright? Even if it takes awhile, it can't really get worse, right? We'll be okay, both of us." I said softly, gently tugging on her shoulder to try and pull her into a hug.

She doesn't even really seem to register the contact for a moment, and I consider pulling away, but before I even get the chance to lift my fingers even a centimeter, she's wrapping her arms around me. I smile and pull her closer, gently patting her back. I can't help but do this, she reminds me so much of my siblings, all clambering for hugs and comfort when upset. She deserves a better pseudo-sibling than me, but if I can help her, then maybe it helps atone even a bit for my recklessness.

She stays pressed to my side for a long while, although her tears fade fast. She says nothing for a long moment, before opening her mouth and closing it again. She doesn't seem to know what to say, but I don't mind, we have all the time in the world, and it's not like either of us are going anywhere anytime soon. She's stuck with me, and I'm stuck with her. At least, until the show gets on the road, and we get forcibly removed from this place, but that's some time away I'm sure.

"Thanks." She says after a long while, and I smile, giving her a thumbs up.

"Of course! It's the least I can do." I say, unable to stop myself from smiling wide at her.

She grins back, before settling in again, her head on my leg as we watch the flowers wave in the wind. She doesn't have to say anything, and I'm glad she doesn't. It gives me just long enough to cope, or at least, try to cope, and if I try to empty my brain just hard enough, I can almost forget she's there.

Almost.

[Line]

Eventually, the two of us are on better terms.

Which is to say, we refuse to even slightly acknowledge what happened to us, and on Sarah's part, that means pointedly refusing to say a word when I even slightly hint towards trying to blame myself. I can almost be thankful for that, but I know that she's just unwilling to process what happened yet. Another point is she probably doesn't want to think about it because of me. I mean, it's my fault, and she's stuck with me. There's no way that she wants to be angry with me for however much longer we're stuck here, and for all she knows, it could be an eternity.

I know better, of course, but that doesn't mean she does, and I take a great amount of comfort in it.

I don't want to have to explain things to her, and I don't want to explain how I know things. It isn't all that important in the long run anyway, and if I can get her better sooner, rather than later, that means she can move on from me and forget all about what I did. It wouldn't take much effort, and it'd help me get on to wherever it is that the path of dainty blue flowers leads. I didn't want to just leave her here, and as appealing as the path was, I was sort of sick of this whole game where I pretended to be excited to lose all of my memories again.

Well, most of them that is.

"-ey."

I mean, I do still have little bits and pieces from old lives, but nothing too important, small sensory details mostly. It wasn't important in the long run of course, but it was a fun bit of conversation in the right situation. I mean, bringing up details that others couldn't place from long ago? Neat party trick, and it had got me into the beds of a few different people.

"Hey!"

In the long run it wasn't a good plan of course, people start questioning, and you could get noticed by the wrong people. Really it wasn't profitable for much of anything other than adding a unique and indescribable twist to things, or getting laid. Getting laid wasn't too bad of a end game though, I mean, it never led to any of my lasting relationships for the most part, but-

"Hey! Stop ignoring me!" Sarah said sharply, poking the middle of my forehead for emphasis. "Geez! Am I that boring?"

"Ah, sorry!" I apologize, letting out a small laugh, before realizing there was something on my head. "Huh?" I ask, placing a hand on the object in question. Or rather, objects.

"If you had bothered to listen to me," Sarah says with a grin, crossing her arms smugly as she leans back a bit. "When I realized you weren't going to listen, I started piling the flower crowns on top of your head. A couple fell off, but the record was ten. Until you moved and knocked them all down that is."

"Oh." I look down at the flower crown in my lap, then at the ones that fall of my head, then the ones scattered about around me. "Oh my god."

I can't help myself, and start absolutely losing it.

I'm laughing so hard I can hardly breathe right, and it doesn't take long for a snort to leave Sarah's mouth, then a laugh, then she's on the ground busting a gut too.

When I'm done, I can hardly remember what I was thinking about to begin with.

It's been months since we first came here.

I know that she knows this is the afterlife, and she knows that I know, it's not a hard thing to put together, after all. But for some reason, I still can't bring myself to mention it. She says nothing on the matter either, perhaps waiting for me to bring it up first, but I just couldn't find the will to do so. I don't know how things normally pace for other people, and in fact I have no idea how things like this go at all with people around. This was the first time I'd ever been locked in an afterlife with someone else for more than about ten minutes without me moving on first, or without them disappearing within the first twenty.

At least, I think so? It's hard to recall, but I have the distinct impression I'd never stuck around long.

Anyway, I was starting to get antsy. I knew it wasn't my choice when she moved on, and I didn't exactly have a itching to go and follow the dainty blue flower path for me, but I couldn't help getting restless! I couldn't exactly tell the time that passed, but it just got so boring, sitting there day after day, with nothing to do. I busied myself mostly with sleeping, or stretching out on a hill and enjoying the fresh breeze and soft sunlight. Time didn't pass here, which meant that night never came, the sun never changed position, and jack all changed about the clearing.

Sarah, however, didn't seem to mind much.

She would spend most her time enjoying the flowers, braiding them into her hair, making them into flower crowns, or just laying on the ground. She didn't mind the fact that I didn't talk much, and she didn't either - which was good, because even though I did want to get to know her a little better, it would be overall more beneficial if we didn't, because in the long run we'd just separate again, and it'd suck. Instead, she babbled about interests of hers to fill the time, and don't get me wrong I did too, but I found it was a lot easier to listen to her talk about whatever anime was on her mind.

She talked about anime a lot, way more than I would have expected, but then again, she did dye her hair pink.

There were a few I knew of, and could continue to talk with her about for extended periods of time - Naruto, Bleach, and One Piece were the big name ones. She talked about a few I'd never heard of - Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Toradora, and some anime I couldn't even remember the name of it was so long. Naruto was a common point in conversation, mainly just because it was one of the only ones we both knew the most. Or rather, it was the one she knew a lot about, and it was the one I'd seen the most of.

She talked a lot about how shitty it was that the girl characters, who were highly capable and badass, often got shafted for male development. I could agree, but only because I'd seen quite a few people make that same point in and out of fanfiction. She had a special affection for Ino, and another point of conversation that was extremely common was Sakura. She was clearly Sarah's inspiration for dying her hair pink, even if she wouldn't admit it, and it was clear she looked up to her. However, she often complained about Sakura's character development suddenly taking a nosedive, and how she could have been a lot more.

We... talked a lot about anime.

So much so that I actually started to just recount the plot of video games I had liked just to get her to stop talking about anime for two seconds. It wasn't that I didn't like anime, god no I loved it, but there's only so much Naruto talk you can take before you start running away from the other person with your arms flailing wildly behind you. I needed variety! Sarah didn't seem to mind at least, she just liked the silence filled more than anything I think, so it didn't really matter what we talked about as long as we were talking.

So it wasn't so strange that we were talking when it happened.

"Oh my god if I have to hear another fact about your waifu I'm going to go apeshit." I groaned, flopping back into the grass as Sarah snickered, pushing at me with her foot. "Please, spare me oh great anime master, and leave me in peace..."

"Oh stop being so melodramatic." She laughed, rolling her eyes at me. "But if you insist, we could go and explore some, I'm starting to get bored too, and wherever that road leads is probably better than this."

I sat up and looked at her, a big, forced grin on my face despite the way my heart stopped and my veins went cold. She didn't notice, thank god, but whether it was because she was ignoring it, or she genuinely didn't see my expression or body language, I didn't know.

"Sure! Go ahead and lead the way, oh Anime Master." I say, unable to stop myself from adding a dramatic hand flourish and a bow. "I trust your wisdom, and guidance."

"Oh shut up!" She laughs, gently punching me in the arm as she rolled her eyes, before taking my hand. "Come on, let's go see what's out there!"

She wastes no time in leading me forward, an eager grin on her face as we ventured away from the sweet little meadow we had come to have as a temporary home. Or, well, base of operations. It wasn't really a home, and had never intended to be, so calling it such was somewhat insulting to the perfectly good flower hell that we were exposed to. And a perfectly good meadow it was, very calm. Doesn't mean much in the end, considering the way it flickered from view in the end, one last glimpse of cerulean blue on the horizon before it disappeared completely.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out the meaning, everything considered. The message was clear, concise, and poignant, the dainty cerulean blossoms waving in the wind, flickering from view with hardly a care. The road I had been meant for closed, gone with the flowers that made up my own personal yellow brick road. I was certainly no Dorothy, and my way home to Kansas was a little harder than clicking my heels, but it had been right there. A way back to life, a life meant for me.

And so I set upon my path with a stranger I had killed, down a path I could not see, the road I was certainly not meant to follow.