The soft, rhythmic lapping of waves helps sort my thoughts as I walk along the surf. The sea spray speckles my face and sand spills between my toes. No shoes of course: who wears shoes on a beach? I'm not really sure as to why I am here, but I suppose it is because I cannot sleep, and this is one of the few places I can get my head straight. But then again, I'm probably not the only one. Tomorrow is the Reaping. Tomorrow twenty three children will be sent to their imminent deaths, to be broadcast on National television. I can feel the bile rising in my throat as I think what a twisted idea it is.
Shaking my head I turn to look out towards the horizon. If I stare for long enough, I can make out the small smudge of baby blue sky that is sunrise across the deep night. I am suddenly overwhelmed by an urge to swim out towards that light, just to escape. I could swim until my lungs burst and my muscles screamed but I wouldn't stop. Anything to escape. I think I almost am about to when a flash of movement in my peripheral vision causes my head to whip around.
I can make out a rickety pier made of wooden planks, going out across the water. I walk quickly over to it and stand at the end. The early morning light reveals the faint outline of a girl sitting at the end. I walk along the planks, quietly, until a load creaking noise gives me away. Her head whips around and she looks at me with her mouth slightly open and startled eyes. I see she is holding a cigarette in one hand, its embers crumbling into the sea. Her legs are draped over the edge of the final plank, her toes just dipping into the water. I suppose now would be a good time to say she is beautiful. She has the tanned skin of someone who spends hours working in the sun, the thick hair of someone who spends a lot of time in salt water and the sea green eyes of our district.
I suddenly feel like an idiot standing there and I stutter, "S-sorry…I just wanted to see who you were..." feeling even more stupid I shift my weight from side to side.
Her head cocks to one side slightly as she studies my face and the ghost of a smile graces her features. "That's alright. I couldn't sleep either." She slowly takes a drag from her cigarette and blows the smoke upwards. I take that as an invitation and sit beside her, my ankles becoming submerged by the sea.
"By the way I'm Finnick Odair." I say, giving her my trademark lopsided smile, the one that makes all the girls drool. It is something I take pride in, and it can be useful in situations like these. However the girl does not even give me a sideways glance but smiles slightly.
"I know who you are." She drags again and carries on staring out at the horizon. I sigh inwardly. Of course she knows who I am. There is not a person in this district who doesn't know who I am. I wonder what terms she associates with me when she hears my name. Victor. Celebrity. Slut. Killer. All of these things are true, but they are not who I am. And all I want is that for once, someone, anyone, would see past all of that…and just see me.
A few moments of silence pass between us. It isn't awkward, just peaceful. I'm desperate to know the girl's name, but I don't want to be the one to break the silence. The small streak of light blue sky has stretched further towards us, reaching out to us almost as if…
"It makes you feel so small."
The girl's voice almost makes me jump, it so suddenly interrupting my thoughts. "Sorry?"
"The ocean. The sky. They make you feel so insignificant. How will any of us ever be remembered if that is how small we are? Everyone wants to leave a mark and be remembered, but how can we do that if we have such a fragile, fleeting existence?" She turns now to make eye contact with me, her eyes full of curiosity and sadness.
Her statement takes me by surprise I take a minute to process it. Besides I am too busy getting lost in her eyes to form an acceptably intelligent answer. "Not all of us want to be remembered," I say quietly a while later, thinking what people will think when they remember Finnick Odair. I push that thought away and stare at the water. I can feel the girl's eyes on me but I don't look up.
"You are nothing like people say you are, Finnick Odair." I look up to meet her eyes now, and they are slightly crinkled at the side from her smile. It isn't a polite smile or a try-hard smile, but it is genuine, the type that makes your brain slow down and your heart rate speed up.
Then, without a word, she stands up and starts walking back down the pier. I want to follow her, but I stay sitting. I carry on watching the girl and she treads through the sand until she disappears over a sand dune. I lie on my back so all I can see is the night sky. She was right; it does make you feel so small.
I start walking back to my house in the Victors village. The girl was probably the strangest I have ever met, and I am also questioning whether this was a dream. She is also the only girl who has made my pulse quicken and my head spin. If only I knew her name.