Chapter 1

Jade

Convulsing I laid back heavily into my pillows panting softly. My legs began twisting in the bedding and my torso arched. I bucked the heel of my hand over the thin moist cotton of my underwear and felt myself coming down. Sitting up I threw the sheets from around my legs black waves falling all around my face. It had been a long night and I'd been so keyed up I couldn't help but to relieve some of the pressure.

"Fuck." I groaned looking at the clock, it was only three in the morning leaving me more time to ponder rather than sleep. Tomorrow would be hell if I spent it tired but to hell with it I thought. Jumping up I yanked off my pajama pants and panties to get a fresh pair. Looking down I stared at the lacy catastrophe of my underwear. Twisted up and moist stained from my recent activities. My face reddened. I was so pathetic. How long was I going to push people away? How long was I going to deny touch? Shrugging my doubtful thoughts off I threw the pants and underwear in the hamper, pulled on a fresh set, and made my way downstairs to the kitchen.

I treaded softly on the hardwood floor hearing the pads of my feet shuffle making a muffled sound.

Growing up my father had always told me not to go near the "special cabinet". He was reluctant to tell me anything after he had caught me peeking around getting close to his stash.

"Daddy has things he likes and they aren't for little children. This cabinet is not to be opened at all understand Jade?"

"What's in the cabinet daddy?"

"It doesn't matter. Daddy just wants Jade not to go in there."

"Alright "

"End of discussion let's get you ready for school."

I smirked opening the cabinet grateful that it did not squeak. Bringing the bottle back to my room I sat on the floor lotus style. Alcohol always had a special place in my heart. Being my first friend, the only one to comfort me when my mother died, my escape, the burn in my chest had me feeling so twisted I was in another world. I uncapped it and poured it into a cup my mouth watering at the sight and smell. I downed the first cup no problem soon a second and a third had me feeling tipped and bold. Struggling I grabbed my bed sheets getting off of the floor. A few taps on my phone and the sexy southern riff of Animal began and I sang along rattling out the words rasping in the right places.

If I didn't want you

Would I cry your name out loud?

And curse it as I wander

Into this maddened crowd

I always felt like another person when I drank. Sexy, bold, unstoppable I ran my hands up my body as I sang.

And if I didn't need you

Why do you run right through my veins?

Savage and so dangerous

You linger and remain

Gripping my long black disheveled hair, I sang out with passion draining from my voice to my imaginary lover across the room.

And if I didn't want you would I arrive outside your door?

"Jade? " A familiar voice floated above the music.

I slung my head around feeling the room spin. In the doorway my father stood his striking hazel eyes piercing mine.

"Do you have any idea what time it is young lady? "

"I cou- couldn't sleep." I looked down feeling stupid ready for his anger once he figured out I was drunk.

"I'm sorry." I hurried trying to beat him to the punch.

"Get some rest Jade. You have a long day of packing. I expect that when I leave this room there will be silence."

I simply nodded sharply my head feeling heavy. He nodded back and closed my door leaving me to myself. I stood up feeling exhausted, drunk, and wide awake. I decided to give in and plop on the bed the cold pillows and sheets soothing my heated skin. I quickly fell into a deep sleep wondering how this could all be.