SPIRITSHIPPING!!!

I'll sleep after I finish typing this! I know my sleep would be peaceful when I just came from typing a SPIRITSHIPPING fiction.

Oh, this pairing affects me a LOT!!!

I'm back!!! I'm alive!!! I'm with a new story!!!

I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX or any of its characters and I'm happy its Kazuki Takahashi's anime.

Proudly saying! I'm a Yu-Gi-Oh! R/GX/5D'S fan for life and eternity!

Hope you enjoy! ^_^

Chapter 1 – Payment

"Go to sleep Johan…" Judai whispers after he kissed Johan on the forehead.

"Do I have to?" Johan slightly pouted, pulling the covers up to him.

Judai sighs, "Don't play dumb Johan, you know you have to or you'll not be in a better shape."

"You won't sleep with me?" Johan asked, looking with pleading eyes on Judai.

"I actually want to…" Judai whines.

Johan's eyes lightens up as he raises the covers enough for Judai to slip in. "Then come on!" he pats the bed. "Lay here!"

"Johan, I'm sorry, but I admit I want to but if we're in Duel Academy's clinic I would sleep with you. But, sorry to say, we're in Domino Hospital. Somebody could see us…"

"So what?" Johan pouts

"So what?" Judai sighs, "Hey… you know the reason Johan."

"Yeah, of course I know." Judai sighed in relief in the thought of their little argument finishing. Johan frowns and looked away. "That's another thing you got from maturity, isn't it?"

"Johan… I know you understand…" Judai said feeling guilty, feeling his shoulders fall a bit, looking desperate.

Johan turns his body to a side, his back facing Judai. "I miss the old Judai…" he mumbles to himself, it was only audible enough for Judai to hear, though.

Judai looks away, feeling that Johan couldn't accept the new him. "You always say that… It makes me think that… you don't want me anymore." He felt his heart constrict when Johan didn't reply a word.

Johan doesn't reply because it's true he misses the old Judai… so much. Because it's the Judai he loved. But he was willing to accept the new Judai, even though he doesn't know how. Everything is just… new.

Judai sighs, not feeling comfortable and bored of this current issue. He felt like doing this, something that would felt like mature, something that old Judai won't do. He wanted to make Johan realize that new Judai is better. He looks at the disappointed body on the bed. "Want to cool off?"

Judai was shock when Johan suddenly turn around and sit up and looks at him with anger in his green-eyes. "So you're the one who doesn't want this relationship anymore!"

Judai calmly lean over to Johan, raising his arms forward slightly to an explaining gesture. "I just want us to think - "

"And realize that gay relationships are illegal?" Johan finished, anger lacing more to his voice. "I know you're maturity gave you that idea! That you should always follow your mind and not the heart!"

"Johan, that doesn't count."

"Of course it is!" Johan said in a high pitch voice. "I know where you are heading Judai! I know you are matured enough; you are thinking what is illegally wrong and legally right. I know you want to break up with me because adults think right! Adults think straight! And their gender should be straight!" Johan pants after his ranting, he looks at Judai who is shamefully avoiding his gaze. It pained Johan more, so does it mean he is right? Judai want to break up? "You should have realized it before…" Johan looks at his left, smiling angrily. "…before you told me you love me…" Johan roll his eyes with his head to look at Judai. "Men… you should have think twice when you told me you'll never change… whatever happens."

Judai looks at Johan, still keeping himself calm "Johan… changes can never be stop. I have grown, got it? But even though I know our relationship is really… forbidden… I… want us to be with each other forever." Judai eyes soften. "You know I love you…"

"Is that the same love you presented to me before?" Johan stare at Judai's eyes, searching for the love he always see in those eyes, the joy those eyes always gave him, the strength it passes. All sudden it was lesser, where's the pure and innocent love? Where's Judai?

Judai sat beside Johan and tries to kiss him on the lips but Johan turn his head away to avoid Judai. "I still love you like before."

Johan closes his eyes. "I was expecting another answer." Judai gave him a questioning look.

"What do you want me to say?"

Johan shut his eyes firmer because his emotions are getting to his eyes he knows he will cry. But he had to make a decision. Judai sounded so mature, Johan feels like he wasn't fit for him anymore. Judai acts so straight, so serious. He should make the first move. He felt his heart stop as the words gets freedom when he spoke it. "I want to break up."

"Johan, you don't want that!" Judai hollered, his eyes widened, as fear of losing Johan sprawled all over his body.

Johan stare at him with firm, serious-looking eyes, "It's a matured decision Judai…" then he lie on his hospital bed and cover his whole body with the covers of his bed.

Judai was shocked in all possible. Johan just made a decision… the same way Judai thinks he was doing? "A-are you sure?" Judai anxiously asked, knowing full well that if he was really a matured guy, he must respect Johan's decision.

"I'm sure." Johan replied firm without even making a single motion.

Judai sighs to make himself calm. He knows his eyes are staring to get blur; knowing exactly what will his eyes will do on the near moment. "I… just remember… Johan…" he choked, surprising himself and knowing Johan was surprise too, having to be seen the little body response of his former lover. "If you will change your mind… I'll be waiting…"

Johan closed his eyes, allowing his tears to completely stream from his eyes.

"I love you Johan…" Judai whispers and walks out on the room, his head on bows, not wanting for anyone to see how sad and empty he looked.

Johan let out his voice to sob. He regret so much the decision he made. Because he still loves Judai deeply. He still loves him more than his life. "Judai… I'm sorry…" But he knows Judai will learn from it someday. And someday he wishes he will be beside him again.

Outside Johan's room, Judai leans on the wall sliding down to the floor, staring blanking at the white ceiling of the hospital. He let his tears stream down to his face, to his cheeks and drip down from his chin.

Is this the payment for his maturity?

… Losing Johan …

Chapter one is done… Don't Kill Me!!! ^_^

Yep, it's sad! I feel really sorry for Judai and Johan because I love them both so much!!! And their relationship is very important for me!!!

Oh! But I like drama! I think I'm good on that category.

Prove me wrong or prove me right in your reviews!!!

Read and review ^_^ Thank you…

And on the next chapter you'll know why Johan was sent to Hospital.