The movie business is a harsh place, with people doing whatever they can to get ahead. There isn't a top dog actor or director out there that isn't above stooping down to sabotage or blackmail to make an extra million on an abhorrent movie. Now, I wouldn't consider myself a saint, but I know I'm definitely better than these people. I make and perform pure art, and the only reason I receive scalding reviews is because these same actors and directors are out to keep me down - I mean, 'Click' was obviously a masterpiece of a movie, deserving nothing less than a 10/10. For the most part, I ignore these people, knowing that my movies are reaching true appreciators of art. This formula has persisted for years, however just the other day I received information that could very well tip the scales of this war in my favour. It was an address I received from a fan, and I was told the man who lived there had the same mindset as me. Knowing this was destiny calling out to me, I headed to the address without a moment's hesitation. It is now that I find myself at a large gate outside of a huge mansion, one that truly puts any other building to shame. The courtyard had a massive fountain that could and surely was used as a swimming pool. The courtyard itself had such green and lush scenery, complete with large trees and even wildlife, that it could be classified as a forest. The mansion literally stretched forever in every conceivable and inconceivable direction. Every single window had the lustre of a diamond, and stained glass was a common sight on the building's walls. The entire view moved me deeply, but I knew I would have to take in its magnificence at a later date. There was important business to be dealt with, so I held back on my gawking. I press the button on a buzzer nearby, expecting a security guard's voice to sound from the system. Instead, I was met with an intense gust of wind that nearly dropped me to the floor. Dust flew into the air, obscuring everything in what seemed like a full kilometer radius. After recovering my balance and allowing the dust around to settle, I soon found myself face to face with a man that can not be described in just a few words. He was no less than 9 feet tall, with muscles so large and prominent you could swear he was made out of pure marble. His skin was perfectly tanned, and he was completely covered in oil, except it seemed like the oil was a permanent fixture of his body. He was bald, and his face, in expression and complexion, was a perfect embodiment of godliness and ecstasy. He wore nothing but a dangerously small leaf over his genitals. The man radiated light from his body, as though he was challenging the sun itself. Looking at this man long enough would surely cause blindness, or even death.

"You are... Adam Sandler, yes?" The living statue asked.

"Uh, yeah, but how did you know my name?"

"I Am. Thus, I know." He replied.

A strange silence passed between us. 'Godly' didn't even begin to describe the air this wonder exuded.

"Come. We have much to discuss." The man turned, strutting with extravagance towards the mansion.

Following after him, I had an unobstructed view of his finely-toned ass. It put the greatest of pop stars to true shame. As we entered the mansion, I found the interior to be as grand as the exterior. A massive golden statue of the unknown man served not only as the centerpiece to the room, but seemingly to the entire estate as well. The statue had an innumerable height that easily overshadowed the tallest of skyscrapers, and the diameter of the stand it rested upon could easily cover football fields. There were many other wonders in the form of staircases, paintings, sculptures, chandeliers, and carpets, however at this point the pure absurdity of how incredible this place was left me too amazed and annoyed to fully take in everything around me. After traveling several marathons at the strange man's powerful and exhausting pace, I was finally brought to a room deep inside the mansion. The room was surprisingly tame in comparison to the rest of the mansion. In fact, the room was too simple, by any standard. It was a perfectly cubical room with white walls and no furniture besides a fairly nice looking yet plain office chair, and a stool that, quite frankly, was shitty. One of its 3 legs was broken off, so it didn't even manage to stand upright, and strange stains and molds made it anything but a pleasant sight, not to mention it was child sized.

"Take a seat, Sandler." The demigod offered me.

Expecting the usual gag, I prepared to sit on the stool, but before I could make my move, I saw the strange man propping up the dysfunctional furniture for himself. He took a seat, managing to balance himself perfectly despite the awful quality of the furniture. I was fairly impressed for awhile, until I saw him struggling to maintain his balance on the stool. As he shook more and more, threatening to fall off the tiny stool, the idea that this godliness he exerted was all an act slowly crept into my brain. My disappointment reached its height when he eventually fell, and proceeded to resort to sitting on the floor.

"Take a seat, Sandler." He repeated, maintaining his ludicrous stoic expression

I headed over to the office chair and took a seat. To my surprise, however, the office chair was equally as shitty, and its supports quickly give way. After a somewhat shocking fall, I find myself on the ground with the man, who is now taking a serious tone despite the ridiculous series of recent events.

"My name is Q, and I-"

"I'm sorry, you said your name was what?"

"Q" He responded, a straight and unshaken expression on his face

"Like... Like the letter Q?"

"Yes"

"Huh... Alright"

"You are Adam Sandler, and I know all about your bad movies."

"Hey, hold on now. I don't know what you've heard, but I make great movies."

"I know you've been looking for a way to get out of this rut of yours." He continued, completely ignoring me.

"Hey, like I said, there's nothing wrong with my movies. It's just the business giving me a hard time, you know?"

"Fear not, my son, for I have your solution."

"A solution, eh? Well alright, show me what you've got." After saying this, a rather surprised expression appears on Q's face.

"Show... You? What I have? Is that what you want?"

"Uh... Yeah?"

Q began quivering slightly, apparently moved by what I had said. He quickly wiped away a tear, and exploded with what I can only explain as pure, untainted human passion.

"Very well! Adam Sandler, I shall show you all that I have!"

Time seemed to slow down as the little that was around us faded away into black. With one fluid movement, Q moved his right arm from his shoulder down to his crotch, producing afterimages as he moved. He removed the small leaf found at his nether regions, and for some reason I couldn't turn away from what he was about to expose to me. As the leaf was removed, a brilliant light shone from his crotch. I was blinded completely, yet I couldn't help but continue to stare. It was as if the light was expanding, absorbing me and all that was around me. As the light seemed to encompass the entire universe, I managed to blink in the middle of Q's magnificence, and in the short time it took to close and open my eyes, the brilliant light was gone. In fact, the entire room was gone, Q along with it. As I began to take in my surroundings, I soon deduced that I was falling from the sky.