Big, green iris vainly tried to see something in space. Nothing, only the faint movements of light, changing into the gray shadows. He felt characteristic, metallic taste I his mouth. Even the air seemed to be heavier and more dense than usual. His hands burned because of the bites. He did it himself. He had never thought he would be able to do it, but yes. Jaeger thought that a hidden skill of every human is crossing imposed barriers. He recently doubted the existence of unbearable pain. He was able to withstand so much, but still felt weak. In terms of both mental and physical. Of course, there would admit to it, because ... why? Eren didn't want to be weak in his eyes. Somebody as perfect as nothing else in this dangerous world. Person who was standing only one meter from him, but still...but just...but...
... slightly out of reach.
"Can he see?" short question, spoken completely without emotion.
"He will, Corporal! I promise!"
"He can't move" said icily.
"It's temporary! He's a titan and the all of his wounds have to heal faster and ..." fell incoherent answer, paradoxically said in an excited tone, full of excitement and curiosity.
"You have no fucking idea what influences the rate of healing his wounds, have you? I said, no experiments before this expedition, Hanji. Here's the result of your stupid ideas"
"I suppose that the rate of healing his wounds depends of his feeling and emotions. What about sharing room with Mikasa? The presence of a loved one will..." began Hanji, but her sentence was interrupted by the sudden opening of a door.
Eren didn't lose consciousness. He heard everything and everyone. Paradoxically, he was too weak to move and communicate with the other. He couldn't remember what happened before. Memories consisted only of faint details which were dancing in his head and messing more and more... Tangle of sounds and images. He associated rustle of leaves, the smell of the grass, warmth of the steaming bodies of fallen titans. He remembered the rider in front of him. Corporal Levi Ackermann and his dispelled hair and his cold, cobalt eyes. Everytime he had looked behind to make sure that Eren was there, the heart of young Jaeger seemed to stop. That's all he remembered. This expedition and its effect remained shrouded in mystery.
" Heichou! The commander Erwin Smith calls you to himself. It's urgent" female voice rang out in the room. It was Petra.
Levi cursed under his breath. He passed the girl and left the room. He walked down the hall. Although the building was still smelling of many cleaning supplies, Corporal felt only one smell. Eren's blood was too strong and overwhelming. Levi had a very good memory. Not only to faces, but also to any odors, names, words. During observing Hanji he often wondered what it feels to be such an emotional person. She used to externalize all the time. Expression of Ackermann's face was usually impassive, despite of different stages of irritation which he sometimes showed. Nothing else. The mask of indifference covered him in childhood, like a wall hiding the sky in the underground part of the city. He was like a box for emotions. Closed forever. Feelings that the others so readily manifested, he learned to keep in himself. On the one hand, this feature was useful, on the other hand, emotions liked to attack with a vengeance. Especially when he was alone. Therefore, he slept three hours a day. Tiresome memories results as insomnia.
He opened the door for the Erwin's office without knocking.
"What else?" he asked.
"The control from military police is coming" said seriously Erwin, looking up from the pile of documents.
"What does it mean?"
"The fact that they are looking for the slightest excuse to arrest Eren. People are afraid. In theory they gained a warrant to search the building. They said it will be a normal visit, but in practice, just imagine how it will look. It's about safety standards. They do not say directly that they are looking for a boy who has ability to transform into a titan, but it is the reason of their appointment"
"I am pretty sure they will direct first steps to the dungeons..."
"Well, I think the same. To the dungeons. However there is the one room in this building they mustn't enter" Corporal room entrance, but they do not have. Levi, see to it that night and just took responsibility for it"
"Which one...?"
"Corporal's room, of course. You promised to take the responsibility for him"
"I know"
"Levi, take care of him tonight."
Ackerman didn't say anything. He only narrowed his eyes, as if in reflection and nodded in affirmation.
"Hurry up, they can be at any time" said Erwin.
Levi saluted, he put his hand to his heart and had a strange feeling that it begins to beat faster. Stress? But why is so nervous? He lowered his hand, turned on his heel and left. Erwin also mastered a strange feeling. Awareness of unfinished business. He felt like he wanted to say something else, but he couldn't do that because of stupid mental blockade. Although Levi closed the door behind him, Erwin was still staring at it with some kind of fascination. As if the door were invisible. As if a curtain of beech wood didn't exist. He seemed to still seeing the silhouette of a Corporal who was walking away. He imagined the wings of freedom moving rhythmically with Levi's every step. He get used to this view. Levi liked to walk quickly, usually something pushed him to the front, while Erwin stayed a few steps behind him. That's why he coded the image of wings embroidered on Levi's dark, green cloak. What's funny all of the uniforms were the same, but the one worn by Ackermann seemed to spread an impression of greater dignity Erwin smiled. He realized that he was still staring at only a small part of the door. He heard the mighty thunder. The snowstorm was coming. Commander's office flashed a white light. Erwin turned his head and looked out the window. He felt a peculiar nostalgia. Why that moment was so weird?
Everything happened so quickly, but haste didn't serve the precision. Eren was transferred to the Levi's office. Corporal instructed at that time the rest members of Survey Corps. No one can talk about Eren. The illusion of cordial relations with the gendarmes should confuse their vigilance. They couldn't feel supervised. They had permission to walk around. Also to the dungeons, from where disappeared all traces of the Jaeger's presence.
Levi headed toward the door and then he saw a pair of big, girl's eyes which was looking at him with possibly the largest reproach.
"I see them!" Armin looked out the window and saw four horsemen.
"Is there any possibility to ..." Mikasa began, but Levi didn't even let her finish.
"No" he said firmly and went straightly to his room.
He guessed how could question sounds. His mind composed a few versions of Mikasa's sentence and each of it seemed to be more annoying. The message was clear. She wanted to be with Eren. Ackermann didn't doubt that this kid was the first person about whom she was thinking about after waking in the morning and the only one she was dreaming about in the night. Annoying...He couldn't understand why he didn't like her so much. He stopped in front of the door to his office, locked it, and went inside. He stared at the door. The consciousness that someone was sleeping in his bed was strange. He listened Eren's ragged breath. He was behind him. In his own fucking bed.
Cool look of cobalt eyes rested on wrapped in a thick duvet person. It was his duvet! Levi was completly stripped of privacy. He had anyone to each other is not allowed. He had a very good memory. Not only to faces, but also any smells, names, words, but the worst was the memory of being touching. That feeling was hard to explain. Foolish, casual touch on the shoulder of the person he didn't like was...just enough. He could feel it for several hours, and sometimes all days. He hated it. It wasn't normal. It isn't the same like the pain during the fighting, abrasions from the leather straps of Vertical Maneuvering Equipment or stupid wounds which sooner or later will be healed. Touch was something different. The point is that it wasn't something painful. It was just dirty. Dirty and disgusting.
"It's cold" quiet whispered
Shitty brat woke up. Levi said nothing. He lit a candle which was standing on the dresser and started removing parts of his uniform. He hang the jacket and cape over the chair.
"Very cold" repeated Eren.
Levi sighed. He was wearing the trousers from his uniform. Perfectly clean shirt was partially unbuttoned. Ackermann thought that this kid was. The room was extremely cold. He went to the window, making sure that it is sealed. It was, but there was a horrible snowstorm outside. The cold air filled the room. Levi looked at Erena, who was trembling because of this coldness. Poor, incapacitated, blindfolded kid. Finally, Levi put his cool hand on Eren's forehead to make sure how high fever he had. At that moment, Eren's hand tightly grabbed Corporal's wrist. Levi shivered. Eren turned his face directly toward him. The moment of silence...
The kid coughed and finally decided to speak.
"Mikasa" said Eren.
He was convinced that the girl was in the room. Levi clenched fist. At first he wanted to bring him violently to the ground. However he recalled what Hanji had said. What if the emotions actually affect the rate of wound healing? Maybe if he will still thinking that person next to him is Mikasa, he will mentally calm down and fall asleep again...
"Mikasa don't interrupt me, please. I just have to say that."
Levi felt like someone was holding his hand. Characteristic pulling down suggested him to change the positions. He lied down next to Erena. His head was still higher than Jaeger's head. He preferred to look at him that way. He kinda liked it. For some reason he was curious what was Eren going to say.
"I don't feel anything. I'm so emotionally exhausted, every time you risk your life to protect me, I feel like useless. Maybe not useless, but...but...Just don't do it anymore!"
Levi wanted to say something, explain this stupid, shitty brat that he is not Mikasa but ... their fingers had been already collided. Strange, new feeling but it wasn't disgust. Although Levi's face remained impassive, he felt some kind of tension and excitement. He was listening the words which was reserved only for one person. That person definitely wasn't him.
"I saved you in childhood, but you did so much more for me ... I'm in disarray. I don't remember many expedition and experiments but I promise I will get better. I will learn to control myself. I want to be like...eh...doesn't matter. All I want to say that you are the best sister ever, Mikasa. I love you like my own sister..."
Eren firmly grabbed Levi's arm. Too much. Corporal snatched him and saw the blood. Bites on the Jaeger's hand were bleeding. Scarlet liquid stained Levi's hand. Ackermann jumped out of a bed. He had to decontaminate Eren's wounds. He heard another apology from this kid. Shitty brat. That wasn't what Levi had expected. He was pretty sure that Eren would say Mikasa that he loves her... Levi looked in the medicine cabinet. He had only one an empty bottle of hydrogen peroxide. Finally he pulled from the dresser a bottle of vodka. He got it from Erwin.
"Are you mad at me?" asked Eren.
Levi said nothing. He sat in a cross legged position, vigorously grabbed Eren's hand and put it on his lap. He took off his bloody bandage. He opened the bottle and poured Jaeger's hand. The kid shouted. The smell of alcohol mixed with blood was spreading around the room. Levi took a sip of vodka. He didn't know why but he did it. He felt hot liquid warming him from the inside. Eren was keep trying to explain his feelings, but Levi didn't listen until kid touched him. At first his elbow, next forearm and then, finally hand. Yes, Levi gave him the bottle. What's more he approached to Eren to help him drink. Levi was watching with amusement as kid was wincing, but finally he swallowed it.
Good job, shitty brat.
"Warmer" said Eren.
He didn't believe that he was drinking vodka with Mikasa. She was acting like an overprotective mother, but that time she seemed to be different. He didn't even feel her intense, sweet, lavender perfume which he really hated.
Levi took a bottle from him to take another sip, then he put the bottle on the do this he had to lean over Eren. Fast motion, but when he returned to the previous position someone touched him again. Arm, back, elbow, forearm, hand ...
"I can feel the blood. Is it my blood?"
You can't tell the heart to beat faster. You can't the wound to less bleeding. You can't tell the feelings to disappear...
He laced their fingers again. Smell of blood mixed with alcohol... why is it still better than devilishly sweet lavender?
Levi leaned even closer. He didn't understand why, but he did it. He ran a finger along delicate Eren's hand. His skin was so soft. Impossible! The wounds began to seclude. So that's what Hanji said about emotions...Was it true? All about the mental peace?
"I'm sorry, I ... I ... a moment ago ..."
Eren didn't understand himself. When he started that conversation he was treated Mikasa like a sister, but now this closeness seemed to be the most enjoyable thing he has ever experienced. They were silent. They heard only their breathing, which were rhythmically accelerating. The silence seemed to be unbearable.
Levi raised himself to his knees and rapidly leaned toward Eren. The smell of alcohol, the blood, the smell of the shampoo, which obsessively used Levi and grass, which fell Eren after regaining human form. Repressed emotions, obsession with cleanliness and striving for perfection.
The Last Hope of Humanity and the Strongest Humanity Soldier
Screw humanity. People are weak. People are bad, but after all ...
...they were only humans too.
Levi was kneeling in front of sitting Eren . He at him again and he felt a fast rush of adrenaline. Ackermann's lips clung to Jaeger. He gave this silly kid just a second for reaction. Eren opened his mouth and than corporal pushed his tongue in. They kissed passionately. Not like a couple of timid kids, but like a separated, secret lovers who were longing for each other for a years.
Another thunder interrupted them. Thin thread of saliva connecting their lips was broken. Levi instinctively turned his gaze out the window. The storm was amazing. Thousand snowflakes with a vengeance were knocking to the window. Eren's warm hands were still hugging Levi's neck. That's funny, corporal didn't even remember the moment when the kid hugged him like that. He took a deep breath trying to remember. Yeah ... it was right after he wove his fingers through his hair and ...
Moment... If Eren wove his fingers through Levi's hair he had been pretty sure that the person next to him was NOT Mikasa.
Why that moment was so weird?