A/N: I'm bbbaacck! And no, I haven't given up on Charade! PROMISE!

Don't own a thing, except my own high-ass expectations for Season 3. Pretty much random angsty oneshot about Chuck's pain 2.22-2.25. You don't HAVE to enjoy, you just HAVE to review. : D

Summary: CB oneshot 2.22-2.25, Chuck's point of view. "His heart is on his sleeve here and he's desperately tugging at his blazer, determined to keep it concealed."

GRAVITY

He admits it; he probably shouldn't have cut her loose only to immediately be stuck in the same room with them for long periods of time. God, there they were, a mere 5 feet away from him, Nate clinging to her like a leech and Chuck's blood boiling. He feels so out of place and scared because obviously she will be happier with his best friend, but all he can think about is how badly he wants to take care of her. His heart is on his sleeve here and he's desperately tugging at his blazer, determined to keep it concealed. It's hurting him, physically weakening him, but he won't string her along any longer. He won't watch her wait in the shadows for the unchangable boy to change.

When they are all together like this, especially to help Serena, it reminds him of the beginning of Chuck and Blair. Nearly the same circumstances as now; he felt the plague of guilt for being that taken with his best friends girl. He shouldn't feel his knees weaken when she enters the room or the longing to run his fingers through her hair or to kiss her until she feels the gravity, the weight of his feelings for her.

Lord, he thinks to himself, absolutely nothing has changed. If anything, he just...he loves her, even more....more than he could have ever imagined. More than his pride would ever let him admit.

He shakes his again as Nate and Serena stare at him, his silence concerning them. He needs to focus on the task at hand, helping Serena, whom Blair is overwhelmingly worried for her.

It's one of the things that dazzles him most about her, her unconditional care. No matter how many times Serena and Blair continue to hurt each other, all they truly care about is each other's well – being. It's then that he realizes he's doing things for her without realizing, going out of his way to see her happy to the point where his happiness and her happiness become blurred into the same grey area. He doubts Nathaniel has that problem. But whatever.

It happens to be the day before prom and his heart is still aching to see Blair content. She'd spent the entire day with her shoulders tense ,(and begging to be massaged) too worried about S to take a moment to think about herself. Unfortunately, after Chuck fell for Blair he never seemed to go a moment without thinking of her, so he formulates a plan. Nate's oblivious and Chuck almost feels guilty. Because, fuck, he's lied to him more in the past two years than he ever has in a lifetime. He can't remember how many tines he tried to convince him that he wasn't in love with his girlfriend, that their affair was nothing, that he wasn't in pain without her.

When the plan commences and he sees Blair on stage in all her shining glory, he can't help himself. He opens his fat ass mouth and tells Serena he's set the whole thing up. Serena, her best friend. Serena, who has basically been couseling him on his Blair issues for months. Serena, who knows for a fact that his heart belongs to Blair Waldorf, and that at this rate he will never admit it on his own.

He doesn't know why he thought she wouldn't tell her. If he were in Serena's shoes, he would fucking tell her.

So he's not surprised when Blair comes stalking towards him, chocolate curls free from their pins and cascading down her shoulders, heels in her hands, lips still cherry red, and God, he wants her. He clears his throat.

"Are you gonna admit to it, or am I going to have to drag it out of you?"

"I don't know what your talking about Blair, but I must say...you looked gorgeous on stage tonight."

"Cut the bull, Bass."

"Never, Waldorf."

"You said you were done. You cut me loose."

He clenches his jaw and becomes fascinated with the floor.

"Maybe I had something to do with it."

"But...why?"

He's silent for a moment to long, still a bit too afraid of her to meet her eyes. Finally, he does, and his are pleading her. He whispers his beckoning, only for her ears.

"Can we please...forget about it?"

"What?! Bass, no! I don't understand, if it was a game, why would you-"

"Look, Blair. I just...I can't do this right now."

"Just answer me this; were you lying last night?"

"Blair..."

" I need to know."

He sighs loudly, his inner turmoil evident. The hardest part is that it feels...right with her, dammit, it feels like fate. His heart tell him he's an absolute idiot because everything he ever wanted, all he could ever hope for is right in front of him, loving him too, and he's pushing it away. But he doesn't think he'd make her happy, and he refuses to hurt her like that.

Still, she can see right through his lies so there is no point in trying to pull any shit over on her.

He sighs once more, this time taking one of her soft tiny hands in his. He places a tiny kiss on her ring finger and moves her hand to his chest. He notices as an afterthought that she can probably feel his heart beating and faltering.

"I...uh...I was lying when I said that it was just a game. You know it's not, Blair, you know it's real with me and you. But I wasn't lying when I said you were free to go. We both know I can't make you happy, and I can't watch you be as miserable as I am."

"Chuck..."

" I care about you. And it's real. Can we just leave it at that?."

Everything about her is silent, from the way she lies her other hand on top of his on his chest, to the tear on her cheek. She nods, knowing she couldn't possibly get anything else out of him, but the hammering in his heart assures her that he does indeed love her, too. Plus, the way he's gazing at her helps.

Serena comes a moment later and tells her the limo is leaving soon and Chuck squeezes her hand once more. It's clear to the both of them he's been missing her. She won't them continue on like this, mutally miserable and convinced it won't work. She kisses his hand this time, and says goodnight, relishing in the fact that there was still 4 weeks left to senior year. Plenty of time.