Paramount owns, I just play with their toys.

AN: Kes-prytt happened about a year ago. In my story it is Wil, Deanna and Beverly, not Lwaxanna, who are abducted by DaiMon Tog. I wasn't sure who's POV to write the story from so chapter 2 is the same story from Beverly's POV.

"In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes for they in thee a thousand errors see. But tis my heart that loves what they despise. Who in despite of view are pleased to dote. Shall I compare the to a summers day, thou art more lovely and temperate..." I had to play convincingly enough to fool Tog but also had to put enough ham in the performance to fool my own crew as well. I really would like to blow Tog's ship out of existence but I wouldn't harm a hair on Beverly's head. And it was hard to recite poetry while looking at her lovely face and not say it with real meaning and heart, I had to over act to fool my own crew. How I really felt about Beverly was my own business. It wouldn't do to have a crew see their captain being all moony eyed and unsure of himself. This was my greatest performance and with the highest price. If I didn't act well enough my life might as well be over. I kept up the reciting as Beverly cleverly told me that I must stop killing all her lovers. That got DaiMon Tog's attention. I decided it was time to pull out all the stops.

"Listen Tog, I must possess Beverly. And if that means destroying your ship in the process, so be it!" I yelled.

"Captain, I had no idea Beverly..."

"Don't let him threaten you. You can defeat him." she told Tog. Then she said to me, "The only way you'll ever get me back is over Tog's dead body."

"That can be arranged!" I growled. "Mr. Worf, arm phaser banks and photon torpedoes. If Beverly Crusher is not back in my arms in 10 seconds throw everything you've got at the Creighton."

"But you will destroy Beverly!" Tog flustered.

Lapsing back into reciting I went on, "When I have plucked the rose, I cannot give it vital growth again. It needs must wither. Nine. Eight. Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Seven. Six."

I heard DaiMon Tog say, "No, wait..."

But I continued my countdown, "Five. Four."

"Beam her to their bridge!" DaiMon Tog ordered one of his crew. "Now!"

"Three. Two." and as I said "One." I thought I would collapse from relief when I heard Beverly materialize back on board safe and sound. But the channel was still open and I still had a role to perform. I wanted to collapse with relief but instead I calmly sat down in my chair like getting my way was how things always went and I had fully expected her return. Beverly was keeping up her role as well as she blithely danced over to me and sat in my lap, draping her arms around me in a very possessive way giving all indication that we were very familiar with each other's bodies. No touch has ever been as sweet. Not just because it was Beverly but because it meant she was here, safe, with me. I think my heart started beating for the first time since I heard she had been abducted.

I composed myself and gave DaiMon Tog a parting shot to put a fear of me and Starfleet in him. It should be awhile before he tries to cross Starfleet and he'd better never cross me again. I was happy to end that communication and get one of my audience members out of the way. Now for the rest, as soon as the communication was ended Beverly popped up off my lap like she'd been stuck with a pin in her cute derriere. My elation deflated just a bit, she still didn't want to take our relationship beyond friendship? I had spent much of the time during her abduction kicking myself for not crossing the friendship line, perhaps those thoughts didn't cross her mind. Whatever makes her happy is what I will do but after nearly losing her my feelings were all up at the surface and I had no choice but to examine them. Again, I am acutely aware of how much more than friendship I want with this woman. It's always been her, I've always loved her and only her. No one else can take her place. Sure, I've had dalliances with other women but it was never serious, they could never be her.

Beverly started towards the turbo-lift and I quickly followed. "Beverly, I want to hear everything that happened to you on the Creighton. Number One, you have the comm." I could see she was still playing her role, being brave. Nothing gets her flustered, always the picture perfect Starfleet officer. I know her too well to believe that now.

"Can you imagine? Me? Being the sex slave of a DaiMon?! And DaiMon Tog!? Disgusting!" she said with more composure that she should have right now. Then she gave a half laugh and half snort but I swore I could hear a waver in that laugh. She was close to breaking. I intended to be there to pick up the pieces. She was nearly to the turbo-lift.

"I wouldn't be too worried, you wouldn't have been there long. Even DaiMon Tog would discover quickly that he'd bitten off more than he could chew. You are far too much woman for a troll like him. He'd send you back pretty fast." I said as we entered the turbo-lift and would quickly leave behind the audience.

"Deck 6" she said as the door began to close.

As soon as the door had swished closed I wanted to reach out for her but I hesitated for just a second. What had happened to her over there? Had she been mistreated or attacked in any way? Would my embrace be soothing or frightening? In that one second hesitation, she turned and slid her arms around my chest and held on tight. She buried her face in my neck. She was holding on tight and her body was still very tense, she was still trying to hold herself together. I called out to the computer "Halt." and the lift stopped, a safe cocoon with no one but the two of us. I started rubbing my hands up and down her back, hopefully in a soothing manner. "It's ok, Beverly, it's just me. You can let it out now."

She relaxed just the tiniest bit. She was still coiled up tight, ready to fight or flee. She lifted her head just enough to speak. "Get me out of here. Take me someplace safe. Please."

"You are safe. You're back on the Enterprise and you are with me. You are safe." I crooned.

"No, Jean-Luc, I cannot cry in the turbo-lift. Someone might see me when we leave. I need to be someplace safe. Please." she implored.

"Deck 5." I said and continued to hold her and run my hands up and down her back as the turbo-lift took off towards a safe place.

When the turbo-lift opened I took a quick look out into the hallway. "It's clear." I informed Beverly. We quickly walked to the door of my quarters. "Open." I said and we went in. All of the senior staff and a good number of the crew have been in the first portion of my private quarters. It's a receiving room for small social gatherings or meetings. Very few on board have gone beyond that room. We went right on through. Beverly has been beyond the receiving room many times for meals together or just to sit and talk or play cards or even a few occasions of the two of us just sitting in the same room while we each read a good book. I led her over to my couch and we sat together. She curled up into my side, her face against my shoulder and started to shake. After a moment she started to cry softly. My heart nearly broke and my head about exploded with anger at DaiMon Tog for making her feel this way. But right now was about her. I let her cry and kept letting her know she was safe, she was with me, she was back on board our ship, it was ok to let it out and I held her. Sometimes I would let a hand wander to caress her hair, arm, back... but mostly I just held her.

After a while the crying and shaking stopped and eventually the sniffling grew less as well and Beverly started to melt into me a bit more, she was exhausted from her ordeal. I started to move and she protested, clinging to me harder. "Jean-Luc, don't go."

"Shhhh it's ok, just lie down." I murmured as I eased her down along the back of the couch and moved behind her to hold her while she slept. We spooned on the couch, she used one of my arms for a pillow and held on tight to the other one like she needed to be assured I wasn't leaving her alone. I thought to myself, 'Mon coeur, I will never leave you and for right now you will not be out of my sight until I'm sure you are ready.' After just a few moments I heard her breathing slow. I was a jumble of feelings and took the time while she slept to sort out these feelings. Mostly I was relieved she was safe. I was furious because of what she had been through. I was thrilled to be holding her close. I was humbled that she trusted me enough to let me help her through this emotional time. I was nervous about broaching the subject of taking our relationship to the next level. I pondered on how to bring up the subject, wondering when it would be the right time for me to bring it up. Obviously, she'll need time to recover emotionally from her abduction before making any sort of decisions. I'll have to tread slowly and carefully and watch her reactions to know when to press on and when to back off.

For about an hour she slept peacefully while my mind was whirling. As much as I was thinking I was still enjoying holding her, being close. Then she started to whimper just a little. She must be starting to dream and not pleasant dreams. I didn't want to startle her awake so I pulled my arm from her hold on it and lay it over her, softly rubbing her shoulder, just enough to ease her out of sleep gently. She continued to whimper. Then clear as a bell she said, 'No, not my Jean-Luc!' and then she was quiet. I think, beginning to wake. I tucked away the memory of her dreaming of me, I assume, being hurt or taken from her. It hurt me to know her sleep wasn't peaceful because of dreams of me. But it thrilled my heart to know she cared enough that her subconscious was worried about me and she called me 'my' Jean-Luc. I was hers, all hers. Beverly started to stir, she stiffened just a little when she realized someone was holding her, then relaxed when she recognized where she was and who was holding her.

She rolled over to face me. My heart skipped a beat. Her sleep-relaxed face and tousled hair were a precious sight to behold. I wanted to see it again and again after long nights of holding her close. She gave a small embarrassed smile, "Hello."

"Hello to you too, how are you feeling?" I asked.

"Much better, thank you. How long did I sleep?" she asked as she snuggled closer to me, using my shoulder for a pillow.

"Only about an hour, would you like something from the replicator?" I asked her. I didn't know if they'd fed her or what kinds of food Ferengi eat.

She looked back up at my face and got a small impish smile on her face. "Food is not what I want, Jean-Luc."

Then she leaned up and brushed those soft lips of hers across mine. Feathery light touches. We'd had a few chaste friendship kisses that were barely there but although these kisses were barely there I can honestly say there was nothing chaste about them. She pressed her lips more firmly to my own and although I'd been roaming the heavens for decades, I had finally found a real heaven. I didn't think, I just enjoyed, reveled, savored... my arm found itself around her back and pulled her in even closer than the confines of my couch demanded. Then Beverly slid her tongue across my lips asking for entrance. Oh, sometimes it would be so easy to be a selfish cad and take what I want but shouldn't have for... well, whatever reason it is that I shouldn't have something. I wanted nothing more than to allow our kisses to deepen but this was not what she needed. I needed to be strong for her in this too. "Bever..mph" I leaned back away from her seeking lips, "Beverly, we should stop."

"Isn't this part of the kind of exploring you were talking about wanting after our time on Kes-prytt? I'm ready for a lot of exploring tonight." Beverly purred and arched her back to show me exactly what she meant.

I had to be strong for both of us right now. I let go of Beverly and turned and sat up. "I waited too long." she whispered. "You don't want me any more." she said and a tear fell from her eye and she looked crushed.

Oh, I was so sorry to have to deny her but I knew she wasn't herself. If we were going to go here, she had to make the decision with a clear head. "On the contrary, my love, I have always and will always want you."

She lifted her head and her expression was confused, a bit hurt, maybe a bit hopeful. She scooted over to lay her head on my thigh and her hand too. Too close for comfort to parts of my body I was having enough trouble controlling. "Then why not?" she asked.

I was stroking her hair, her beautiful red hair. "You know why not. You've had plenty of psychology training in medical school. You know after a life-threatening trauma like you just had a person may want to have sex just to feel truly alive. Tomorrow you may feel differently and I don't want you to have any regrets. I don't think I could cope with that. You are too vulnerable right now to be making any kind of decision. I love you, I always have. And I do want you, like I have for a very long time. I will both love and want you next week or next month or next year... if you decide you want me once you've recovered from your psychological trauma." I finished my little speech and held my breath.

Beverly sat up and looked at me. She just stared for several minutes. I could see the wheels turning in her head. "I think that either you do not want me and the after-trauma decision thing is an excuse, a true one, but maybe just an excuse." I started to shake my head no. "Or... and I think this is the right answer, you really love me with all your heart and want to do what is right for me, even if it hurts us both at the moment. Thank you, Jean-Luc. I love you too. I have for many years now. And I won't change my mind about wanting you tomorrow, next week or next year. I have been kicking myself for a whole year, ever since we left Kes-prytt and I was a fool enough to turn you down."

I took her hand in mine. "You were not a fool, you were still scared. That just meant you weren't ready yet. Maybe now you are ready but – not until at least next week and I expect you to have a few post-trauma sessions with Counselor Troi."

A mischievous smile graced her lovely face and she said, "Aye, Captain!"

Two can play at that game, "Don't you 'Captain' me, Doctor Crusher!" I said and we both laughed. Tensions broken, sexual atmosphere dissipated, contented friendship at the fore with romantic feelings in the wings.

Her demeanor changed and she looked serious but hesitant. I asked her, "What? You look like you want to say something."

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way but I'd like to stay the night." she said.

"Beverly, I don't think that such a good..." I started to say.

"No, Jean-Luc, I don't mean that way. I am still pretty shook up from my abduction and what happened to me over there, what I had to do... I don't want to be alone right now." she explained.

"I understand. You can take my bed and I'll sleep on the couch." I offered. "And I'll be ready to hear what did happen any time you are ready to tell me."

"Um, I don't think you do understand. I'm afraid of nightmares and I would like to sleep in your arms so I'll feel safe. I promise not to attack you... this week." she said. I heard the light-hearted way she put the request but I could also see I her beautiful blue eyes how much she needed this. She gave a weak smile and continued, "Who knows, I might dream of having to rub DaiMon Tog's ears again. Seriously, Jean-Luc, that is the worst of what happened."

I did not show it on the outside but inside I heaved a huge sigh of relief, I had pictured much worse than some ear rubbing. "Of course you can stay, right this way..." I said and led her to my bedroom. I'm not sure in the years I've been on this ship that anyone else had been in my bedroom until tonight. As we entered, I really looked at my bedroom with different eyes. It's too austere and bare, she'll find my lack of any décor strange. Maybe some of my archeological mementoes should be displayed in here. No, out there is where I see and enjoy them. I spend my time in here with my eyes closed. I opened my dresser and took out a fresh soft tunic, the only one I had long enough to cover her sufficiently. "Here, you can wear this, it should be quite comfortable. I'll just step out and get us a nightcap while you change."

I took the opportunity alone to let Wil know that Beverly was a bit shaken by her experience and would be staying in my quarters and neither of us would be returning to duties until the morning. I could hear the smile in his voice although the words were professional enough. I'm sure he was thinking there was more going on here tonight than there would be but he was discrete enough to keep it to himself with the notable exception of Deanna. I didn't mind that he would tell her, it would give her more information at the ready for her session with Beverly tomorrow. I also made that appointment for early tomorrow morning so Beverly wouldn't have a chance to come up with excuses as to why she couldn't go. That all took several minutes, enough time for Beverly to change and get into bed. It was strange, I knew going in my room that she would be there, in my bed and wearing my tunic but to actually see her like that was quite a shock. A lovely, blood-stirring, heart quickening shock to my system. She looked for all the world like we had already made love, her in the bed with her tousled hair and wearing my clothing. I admonished myself, 'No, tonight is for comfort only. If you want this relationship to grow and last for the rest of our lives you must be strong tonight. She's had a frightening day and needs a friend to hold her, nothing more.' But, to be honest, I did take a few second daydream about what it would be like to live through was the situation looked like. It was wonderful.

I was standing staring too long, she was beginning to wonder about me. "I didn't know which side of the bed you like to sleep on so I chose the middle for the moment. Which side do you want? I can move either way."

"I honestly don't know. I've never really slept with anyone long enough to find out if I have a 'side' of the bed. Why don't you choose your side? I'll adjust to whatever side is left." Have I really gotten to this age without a long term relationship? I sighed inwardly, yes, because the only person I wanted that relationship with was taken, then off limits out of guilt and then not ready for the relationship and no one else mattered. But here she was, finally. She moved to her right and settled in while I got in bed on the other side. "Computer, 06 hundred wake up." I said and heard the computer beep it's acknowledgement. "Oh, I'm sorry, Beverly, did you want a different wake up time?"

She smiled, "That depends, does 06 hundred give us enough time for coffee and croissants together?"

"Lights off" I called out and the computer obliged. In the dark room I reached out for my love but only to hold her. She came willingly into my arms. I have always slept on my back since my heart replacement surgery and Beverly tucked herself into my armpit and laid her head on my chest with one arm thrown across my body. 'Steady, nothing sexual going on here, just a friend helping out a friend.' I reminded myself. We were both tired from the day and fell asleep within minutes.

02 HUNDRED

I awoke confused. There was a heavy weight on me and movement in my bed that was not me. I was shocked for just a second until I remembered: Beverly. Then came the flood of memories: Tog, abduction of my Beverly, Deanna and Wil, then Deanna and Wil returning without Beverly, bluffing Tog into returning Beverly, her crying in my arms and then sleeping in my arms. Then her wanting more than she should be wanting tonight but settling for sleeping in my arms again for the whole night. It was her that was the heavy weight and once I realized it was her she didn't seem so heavy, more like a blessing being pressed into my own body. It was also her that was moving and starting to make noise as well. She must be dreaming. Good dreams or bad? Do I wake her or leave her alone? I continued to hold her and just waited, listening. She was mumbling in her sleep. It was beginning to sound like a bad dream and I was about to wake her when she called out, "No, not my Jean-Luc!" like she had before. Then her body jerked awake and she sat up breathing heavily.

I didn't want to grab her and startle her. She had just abruptly woken up in a strange bed and would need a moment to remember where she was and with who. Her breathing slowed and she lay back down, pillowing her head on my chest. "Beverly? Are you all right?" I asked quietly.

She sighed, "I'm sorry I woke you, Jean-Luc. It was just a bad dream."

"Care to talk about it?" I ventured. Talking about it would probably help but I had to admit to myself I wanted to know what had her calling out my name that way.

She hesitated, "It was just a nightmare about my abduction. I'm ok, really."

The perceived anonymity of darkness can encourage people to open up when normally they wouldn't so I pressed a bit harder. "So, tell me about it. It might help. If you can work it through your conscious mind it probably won't bother your unconscious mind when you fall back to sleep."

She hesitated again before softly starting to relate her dream. "We.. we both were abducted. DaiMon Tog had us both. When we were really abducted I couldn't see how you would find us. I knew you would somehow, but it seemed hopeless. We were supposed to be on the planet for several hours so I thought Tog had a big head start on getting away clean. We all knew you'd be looking for us but didn't know how you'd find us. Hey, how did you find us?"

"Your servant from the planet contacted us when he returned from berry picking and couldn't find you anywhere. Data knew the bouquet of flowers that were found were from a Ferengi world so that put us on the right track. We just had to find the Creighton, since they had just been with us at the conference and Tog had behaved so badly towards you. It was Wesley that received and understood Wil's signal so we knew exactly where you were. Go on with your dream, please." I encouraged.

"In my dream, I'm more scared than I was in reality. I knew you'd keep searching until you found me. But in the dream you were with me and I wasn't so sure the others would be able to find us. Then..." she stopped.

Very quietly I prodded her along, "Yes, then what?"

"DaiMon Tog wanted me to himself and didn't like the way we looked at each other so... he... he..." she stopped and took a deep shuddering breath. "Jean-Luc, he beheaded you right in front of me. Your head rolled over to my feet and you looked up at me. It was horrible!" she cried.

"Shhh, it's ok. I'm ok. I won't let DaiMon Tog hurt either one of us." I soothed. Now I know what had her crying out in her sleep. I shudder to think what it might do to me to have the same dream with her being the one beheaded. I'd need someone to hold me too but as the captain I wouldn't be able to show it.

Time to lighten the mood and dispel the fear and horror of the dream. "So, with my bald head did it at least roll straight?"

"Jean-Luc! How can you say such a thing!" she admonished. Good, she was getting angry and losing the fear.

"Well, a bald head has to be good for something, maybe that's it. Of course, by the time you get that advantage you can't enjoy it." I teased.

She gave a small laugh. "No, your head did not roll straight. It wobbled all over like a drunken sailor. And bald is beautiful and sexy!"

"Damn, a drunken sailor, huh? Must be my big nose throwing it off balance. Bald is sexy, huh? I never knew you thought that. Not even when we were on Kes-prytt."

"Care to find out how sexy I think some bald heads are? Or at least one in particular." she said as she brought her hand up to stroke said bald head.

Whoa, I need to reign in that line of conversation quickly. I removed her hand from my head and brought it to my chest and kept it there by holding her hand. Let's bring things back around to Tog and make him less scary. Hmmm how to do that? "Beverly, do you think maybe Tog is a nickname? A shortened form of his full name?"

"Tog? What would Tog be short for?" she mused.

"I don't know about you but I'm pretty sure it's short for Toglodyte." I smiled at the pun.

"Toglodyte?" she asked.

I had to explain. "Oh sorry, troglodyte is an archeology term for a very primitive, smelly, offensive early human with no social skills whatsoever."

She laughed out loud, I could feel the vibrations against my chest where we touched. It felt wonderful in many ways. Wonderful to be this near to my lady love. Wonderful to hear and feel her laughter. Wonderful to provide her with the laughter. Best of all, wonderful to be able to help her heal from her trauma of yesterday and take the fear out of the image of Tog so he won't darken her dreams, hopefully, any more.

We lay quietly in the darkness for a while before she quietly spoke my name. "Jean-Luc?" she said it so quietly and softly but my name on her lips was a balm to the part of my soul still ragged from her being ripped from my life, however briefly.

"Yes, Beverly?" I replied.

"How long?" she asked.

I was confused. I tried to work out what she meant but I had to ask. "How long, what?"

"How long until you are convinced that I'm recovered from my ordeal and ready to make important decisions?" Wasn't that a loaded question? I was glad she couldn't see my face in the darkness because my mind and probably my face was in shock and scrambling for an answer. How long? I'd like to say about 3 seconds but that would be wrong and selfish, she is not ready, not over her ordeal. 3 days? A week? A month? How could we know in advance? But she wanted an answer.

"If you go see Counselor Troi a few times I think a week might be enough, but we'll just have to see how things go. I am not going to let you make what might be a mistake. This is too important. We are too important to rush into anything." I held my breath, hoping I'd said the right thing.

She laughed out loud again. I was confused and hurt, why was she laughing? I see nothing funny about two people who love each other taking careful steps towards each other. "Jean-Luc! Rush into anything?! You've loved me for over 20 years. I was attracted to you right from the start and I think I fell in love with you about 10 years ago so we're not exactly rushing into anything."

She was right, my choice of words was comical giving the situation. I laughed with her. Carefully, in the dark, I leaned down and kissed her nose. "Good things come to those who wait."

"Mmmmm..." she purred as she snuggled a bit deeper into me. "Then we ought to be phenomenal together after all the waiting we've had."

"Oh, I agree, we will be phenomenal together for the rest of our lives, Beverly." I vowed. Then we both drifted off in each others arms to happy dreams of those phenomenal times.