Disclaimer: the Skulduggery Pleasant series belongs to Derek Landy and Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

Note: set after Dark Days and somewhere in Twilight (not too sure whereabouts chronologically)

Valkyrie Cain, once known as Stephanie Edgely and now known as Isabella (Bella) Swan, looked out the window into the rain and sighed. It had been ten years since she fled Europe, always travelling under an assumed name to keep from being found by her former partner and secret crush Skulduggery Pleasant. Now, hidden in the rainy town of Forks, in Washington State USA, she found a cover.

Vampires.

There was a coven (although they preferred the term 'family') of class-one vampires here, living off the local wildlife as opposed to the locals. The youngest-looking of them fancied himself in love with her, and she had gone along with it for the past week since he'd told her although her heart still longed for the wise-cracking skeleton that was her ex-partner from her detective days. But she couldn't stay. Her true name had been uncovered by him and although the prophecy had been averted, changed, she was a fugitive. Darquesse. Her true name. If someone used it, she had no choice but to obey.

And so she fled.

A full decade had passed since then, and she hadn't aged past her nineteenth birthday because of her Ancient blood and her mastery as an Adept, Elemental and Necromancer. Skulduggery had been her Elemental mentor, Tanith Low her Adept mentor, and Solomon Wreath had been her Necromancy mentor. She had rivalled them in raw power by the end of her training, but they had had the advantages of experience. She knew that if it came to a fight they would win, unless she was willing to kill her friends and teachers.

She couldn't do that, so when Skulduggery had somehow discovered her true name she had bolted. She wouldn't go to prison and she didn't want to fight them about it, so she had left.

"Bella?" Edward asked softly, and Valkyrie looked towards him with a soft smile that was as false as her name. "You're upset. What's wrong?"

"Nothing much," she murmured, and turned back to the rain. "Just thinking." Edward wasn't sure if she was lying or not, but nodded and placed his hands on her shoulders before bending to place a kiss on the top of her head.

"Carlisle is having a visitor today," he said into her hair. They had been going to play baseball, but seeing as the storm wouldn't hit until morning they had cancelled their plans at the last minute.

"Vampire?"

"No," Edward shrugged. "I'm not sure what he is – Carlisle won't say anything. But he wants you to be here with us to meet him." Valkyrie nodded, although she was a little wary. If this person was so important as to meet them all, and not just Carlisle, then could he or she be one of her kind?

A few hours later, Valkyrie was sitting in the living room of the Cullens' house with the 'children' of the family, growing slightly anxious as she discovered that Alice couldn't 'see' what would happen after a black Bentley pulled up at the house. As she guessed, they all assumed whatever she was anxious about had something to do with not knowing what could happen, when really she was getting nervous about the Bentley. Her logic told her that hundreds, probably thousands of people drove black Bentleys, but her mind associated that particular type of car with the man (skeleton) she had fallen in love with.

Upon hearing the car pull up in the driveway, she began gathering her power in her hands although it was invisible to everyone but her. If it was someone with a strange name like the ones often given by her kind, and if they recognised her, she would blast them and then make a run for it. She didn't want to go to jail for something it was only assumed she would do.

The front door opened, and Carlisle greeted someone cheerfully who responded too quietly for Valkyrie to hear. She manipulated the air to hear the conversation, but it was pointless as Carlisle walked into the room with a tall, slender man wearing a painfully-familiar suit and hat. This man had dark stubble, a young face, dark glossy hair pulled back into a ponytail and bright green eyes that darted around the room for a moment before returning to Carlisle, who was talking to him and asking about the man's trip. Each reply was given quietly, in short sentences or one word dependent on what the question was.

Valkyrie both tensed and relaxed upon the man's appearance, her focus no longer on his voice like it had been.

It wasn't Skulduggery, but seeing as it wasn't someone she knew she was still wary and very, very cautious. Until the man was identified, she wouldn't relax.

"This is my wife, Esme," Carlisle introduced the man, "And my children – Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Edward. This is Edward's girlfriend, Bella," he added, and Valkyrie stiffened as those brilliant green eyes showed recognition upon meeting her own dark ones. Please let it just be a coincidence, that she just looked like someone he knew… "Everyone, this is my dear friend Skulduggery Pleasant."

In that next instant, Valkyrie was off the couch and near the door, which slammed shut just before she reached it. She spun, looking for a way out, and her eyes again met those brilliant emeralds. Behind him she could see the Cullens staring at her in shock. They'd never seen her move so fast or gracefully.

"Valkyrie," the man – she wouldn't believe it was him! – said sadly, and she stared at him defiantly. "It's been ten years. Why didn't you come back to Ireland?"

"You're not him," Valkyrie snarled, tears forming in her eyes and being brushed away angrily. She wouldn't believe this…this…this impostor! "Who are you?"

"It's really me, Valkyrie…"

"Don't!" Valkyrie spat. "Just…just don't." Her anger lost its fuel and she sank to her knees as she leant against the door and closed her eyes in resignation. "Well, whoever you are…if you're going to arrest me just do it already. I'm sick of running."

"The Valkyrie I knew didn't give up so easily," that smooth and deep voice said from just in front of her, and she opened her eyes to look at him through her tearful eyes as he crouched in front of her. "What happened to the girl who absolutely insisted on learning magic no matter what? What happened to the girl who spent almost a year searching for my skull to bring me back from the Faceless Ones?"

"All that is common knowledge," Valkyrie said bitterly.

"That we had to kill your reflection isn't," the man pointed out. "And only you and me knew about the prophecy about you killing me, Darquesse."

"Don't call me that!" Valkyrie shouted, shoving him away and standing. She glared at him through her tears. "I hate that name. Don't you dare call me that, ever." Despite her defiance, that place inside her that stirred whenever Skulduggery was around insisted that this man was him. "How?" she asked in a whisper. "If…if you're really him…how did this happen? How did you come back to life?"

"It was a series of unforseen, dangerous events which were far too complicated and long for me to retell entirely."

"You have no idea, do you?" Valkyrie asked dryly, and the man rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. This scene was entirely too familiar to the woman, who was now drinking in Skulduggery's new appearance.

"No, not really. Got dismembered again about three years after you left – painful, let me tell you – then woke up three days later in a tub of black gunk looking like this," he shrugged as he looked straight into her eyes. "China and Tanith had no idea what happened to me, and neither did your old boyfriend…what was his name? Finches or something?"

"I don't know," Valkyrie shrugged. "He wasn't my boyfriend, he just had a crush on me." Then the reality of the situation sunk in and she stared up at the man she had left behind upon fleeing Ireland. "What happens now, Skulduggery? Do you slap some handcuff on me and drag me back to Ireland for the crime we averted? Or do we go our separate ways once more?"

"I haven't told anyone your true name, Valkyrie," Skulduggery sighed. "Only you and I are aware of that. I won't force you to return if that's what you want, but…" he trailed off, and Valkyrie narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously.

"But what?"

"Your mother has cancer, and your father is slowly going insane. Your little brother needs you, Valkyrie," Skulduggery said grimly, complete seriousness in his eyes and face. Valkyrie averted her eyes. "He's only twelve years old, Valkyrie. He needs you."

"He doesn't know me," Valkyrie murmured. "He only knows the pictures of his big sister who ran away when he was two. He doesn't know me." Skulduggery paused before he answered her.

"Valkyrie, he's been training under Tanith."

A moment of silence settled over the living room, and then Valkyrie exploded.

"NO! NO-NO-NO! She promised! She promised me she wouldn't teach him this life!" she raged, air and shadows swirling around her in her anger. "She promised!"

"Did she?" Skulduggery asked mildly, and Valkyrie glared at him. "Did she promise not to teach him how to use a sword? That's all she's teaching him." Valkyrie settled, and Skulduggery smirked as she glared at him. "You're a good sister for him."

"What if he notices I look exactly the same as I did when he was two?" Valkyrie whispered, head down and fists clenched by her side. A slender finger beneath her chin forced her to look up at her former partner, and her eyes widened as he kissed her forehead.

"He won't care, Valkyrie. He's known me for ten years, the whole ten years. If he can get over a skeleton turning into a human, then he can deal with you like this."

Before Valkyrie could answer, a voice spoke up from the formerly-silent vampires.

"What the hell is going on here?"

It had been Rosalie who spoke, and now the two magic-wielders turned to look at her. She was fuming but still gorgeous and only Carlisle seemed completely un-shocked. Valkyrie narrowed her eyes at him, then decided she'd get back at him later. He knew dammit. He had known from the very beginning.

"What do you want to know?" Valkyrie asked, folding her arms and leaning back against the door.

"What have you been talking about?" Jasper asked in confusion. "It makes no sense at all."

"It's a long, long story," Valkyrie hedged, only to receive a nudge in the side from her ex-partner, and then sighed. "I'll tell you the abridged version."

"About fifteen years ago, my uncle Gordon died," Valkyrie began, glaring at Rosalie when she opened her mouth to interrupt. "Do not interrupt. At the reading of his will, along with my family there was also an extremely-skinny man wearing gloves, a scarf and sunglasses, with frizzy red hair poking out from under his hat. He listened to the will, congratulated me on receiving nearly everything of value from my uncle, then left while my other uncle and aunt were having a fit over being left silverware and almost nothing else." She smiled in remembrance.

"My uncle was rather…odd. So was my dad, but in a different way. Anyway, not long later I met the man again…and found out that he was a skeleton. A living skeleton, if that makes sense. He taught me Elemental magic, and we had all sorts of weird exploits. By the time I turned fifteen I'd learnt necromancy as well as Elemental magic, because the skeleton had been dragged into another world by an ancient destructor god called a 'Faceless One'. I, along with a couple of friends, found his real head and used it as an anchor to open the portal for me to find him and bring him back. He was a bit loopy for a while, and much harder than before – he was a real joker most of the time when we first met – and we had to do the whole saving-the-world thing again.

"Then we found out about this prophecy in which this woman called 'Darquesse' killed me and Skul and later I remembered where I had seen the name before. There used to be this book which held everyone's three names – their given name, their assumed name, and their true name. I'd seen my true name, which happened to be Darquesse. Because Skul and I knew who Darquesse was, we were able to change what would have happened, but I thought that since I was Darquesse they'd arrest me anyway. So, I ran. That was ten years ago now," she shrugged.

"Three years after Valkyrie left Ireland, I was dismembered and my bones scattered," Skulduggery continued for her. "When I 'woke up' like this, I went looking for her again. This is the first time I've managed to catch up with her, and I wasn't even trying," he chuckled. Valkyrie rolled her eyes. Yeah, right.

"Wait," Emmett interrupted confusedly. "So you were a skeleton…?"

"Yes," Skulduggery nodded. "For a couple of centuries at least. Someone stole my head and I won the one I was wearing in a poker game. I only got this one back about twelve, thirteen years ago, and then seven years ago I came back to life properly."

"I ran away when I was seventeen," Valkyrie shrugged. "I mastered Elemental and Adept magic, and necromancy a couple of years later, and I stopped aging just like all our kind who master an art. I'm actually about twenty-seven." She turned to Skulduggery. "So there's no arrest warrant or anything for me? I can go home?"

"Yes," Skul nodded. "Gordon's house is still under your name seeing as you're not presumed dead."

"I'm guessing I have Ghastly to thank for that?" she murmured, and Skul chuckled. "I'll do that as soon as I get back, then."

"You're leaving?" Edward asked, and Valkyrie glanced at him in surprise. He looked almost heartbroken, but Valkyrie was no soft-hearted teenager in love.

"Of course I am," she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I was only here because I thought I would be arrested if I went back to Ireland. Seeing as that isn't the case, I might as well go back." Besides, she added mentally, I want to work with Skul again. I missed him most of all. Edward stood and stormed out, and the two almost-humans watched him go in surprise.

"What's with him?" Skulduggery asked, and the vampires just shrugged. Skul copied their motion and stood, holding out a hand to Valkyrie with a smile and dancing green eyes. "So are you coming back?" Valkyrie took the hand and was tugged to her feet, a smile lighting her gorgeous features and revealing that all her previous smiles had been fakes.

"Where else would I go? Besides, you need someone to keep you out of trouble," she added with a laugh, and after saying her goodbyes to the Cullens she followed her former partner out to his hired Bentley and climbed in.

She was going home.

Ten years later…

"Valkyrie!" Skulduggery called up the stairs, and smiled when the woman descended slowly with a soft smile that was reserved for him and him alone.

"Hold your horses, Skul, I'm getting there," she said with a roll of her eyes, one hand placed on her gravid belly as her husband of nine years supported her down the last of the stairs and pressed a light kiss to her lips. "I am pregnant, you know," she added dryly as she gestured to the rather large belly she sported. The former skeleton chuckled as he knelt in front of her and pressed another kiss to her stomach. His green eyes shone with love and pride as he looked back up at her.

"I love you," he murmured when he stood and again kissed her lips.

"Love you too, you stupid man," she laughed against his lips, although she smiled and leant against him for that strong support he always offered her. "Where's Gordon and Rose?" she asked, and her husband smiled down at her while leading her to the front door.

"They're waiting in the car," he murmured, sweeping his pregnant-but-somehow-slender wife up in his arms to carry her down the stairs from the porch to the trusty Bentley. "We'd better hurry, love, or you'll be late for your brother's wedding."

"Then hurry up and drive," Valkyrie laughed as he set her down and she carefully climbed into the car. Skulduggery grinned and hurried around to the other side of the vehicle, completely unaware that his wife would give birth earlier than expected.

Halfway to the church, Valkyrie felt the sensation she hadn't expected for a couple of hours yet and grimaced.

"Skul?" she said sweetly, catching her husband's attention. "We're not going to make it."

"What are you talking about, love? We're only fifteen minutes away."

"No, I mean we're going to have to take a detour. My waters just broke." Skulduggery stared at her for a moment, then when a blast of a horn from behind him made him realise the lights had changed he took off, slightly panicked now.

They had to get to the hospital!

Five minutes later, James Edgely got a text-message from his sister and groaned. He opened the door and looked at his soon-to-be mother-in-law, a pleading expression on his face.

"What is it, James?"

"My sister's gone into labour…could you get Tanith for me?"

"Of course," Anamaria smiled, kissing her soon-to-be son-in-law on the forehead and wandering off to find her great-aunt.

Heading back into the room he was waiting in, James sighed.

He had really hoped Valkyrie could be there for his wedding, but it looked like it wasn't going to happen.

He wondered absently if he was going to get a niece or nephew this time.

A few hours later, at the wedding reception for the new Mr and Mrs Edgely, James Edgely received a text from his brother-in-law and leapt to his feet.

"I've got another niece and nephew to spoil!" he shouted, getting laughs from nearly all the guests as James grinned and sat down beside his new wife.

In the hospital, Carlisle Cullen smiled at the proud father of newborn twins who sat beside him in Valkyrie Cain's hospital room, the six-year-old Rose and eight-year-old Gordon chattering away to Esme Cullen excitedly about their new siblings as Valkyrie held newborn Elise and Jem in her arms. Rosalie was off telling Emmett, Jasper and Alice about the newborns (Edward had done something stupid and gotten himself killed by the La Push werewolves a couple of years earlier), and Skulduggery looked over at his loving wife with his heart about to burst from his chest in pride. She looked at him, smiled, and whispered the words 'I love you' as he kissed her lips gently.

No matter what happened, they would find a way to be together.

And they were content.

There! Okay, so this is a little bare of details (It's more like a couple of snapshots, but yeah...) but that's the point. I've had the idea in my head for a while and decided I might as well get it out there so I could focus on other things.

Anyways, please review!

~Ashuri