Clary Lightwood didn't know what to feel. It didn't help that she rarely felt anything more than blood-lust, but that was due to being a Shadowhunter. Or so she thought.
She'd always felt this way, even when she was nine and thought she was a Mundane. Her mother never told her who her father was, or what her real last name was, just the her mother's was Fairchild.
Nine was, apparently, the age where her mother couldn't raise her anymore and barely gave any information about the world Jocelyn was born and raised in. Even Luke, whom had been her idol, couldn't take care of her.
Probably because he was in love with Jocelyn and didn't want to do anything to break whatever bond the two had as childhood friends.
Thinking of her biological mother and the man who had been like a father left a bitter taste in her mouth, like it always did. If only they'd stayed longer and then maybe she would have learned how to feel.
It brought back memories, memories that she didn't want to remember. Simon was the only one who made her feel human in a room where everyone looked at her like she was the Devil Incarnation. She wondered if he remembered her like she remembered him, even after seven years.
He probably didn't.
Her sister probably didn't remember her either, having been four at the time of them abandoning her on the Institute steps. If Scarlett remembered her… in any way, it would be weak memories of a black haired girl with black eyes and a pale complexion. Her sister wouldn't know she had an older sister.
But Clary remembered. She remembered it all.
She pushed a stray hair out of her eyes and looked at the family who had accepted her and taken her into their home without question. It didn't take long for her to take the Lightwood name, abandoning almost every connection to Jocelyn,Luke, Scarlett … and, in a way, her childhood best friend.
A month after she turned ten, and they could start their training, Golden Boy showed up and wrecked whatever peace she had thought was there.
Her hair was mostly black, with some natural red highlights. This, after their first Christmas, earned her the nickname Red, which if she had gone by Clarissa wouldn't have bothered her as much, but as she already went by a nickname it bothered her more than she could say.
When she was fourteen she didn't deny Izzy when she wanted to become Parabatai, Alec and Goldilocks (if he was going to call her Red instead of Clary, she was going to call him Goldilocks instead of Jace) had become Parabatai a few months before she or Izzy turned fourteen.
The next few years passed in a blur and she found herself drawn to art, and to Runes she didn't know where they could have come from but knew they weren't Angelic by nature. She kept that secret to herself, fearing even her sister wouldn't accept she instinctively knew Demonic Runes.
2007
Clary wasn't a fan of the loud music blaring from the club they were hunting in, but then again she rarely liked anything.
Her cold eyes scanned the dance floor, daring someone to notice them stalking a blue haired demon.
They wouldn't dare. They all knew of the one who was raised Mundane and was taken in by the Lightwoods. They all knew how much blood-lust she had. They all knew she didn't mind torturing them.
She forced herself to not be distracted by any face that might be familiar. She clutched her fist around her weapon tighter, Jace noticed her sudden tension and came up besides her, rubbing her shoulders comfortingly.
"You don't have to be apart of the hunt, especially after last time."
"I'm fine, Goldilocks." she snapped, swiftly moving away from him. A feat she was rather proud of in her tight jeans and two inch boots (Izzy wouldn't let her wear any other boots 'because she had no balance even with a balance rune.') She and Jace were opposite in almost every way, but somehow they'd formed a bond that went deeper than just being adoptive siblings.
The four of them moved as one towards the demon, her heart seemed to jump into her chest, and she hated the panic her body felt.
For some reason, her body always responded where her heart and brain didn't. She had learned just to go with it.
The demon gave a twisted smile to both Clary and Jace.
"Valentine is back." The demon said to Jace. His green eyes cold. The four Shadowhunters froze for a second. "And I know w-" Clary acted out of instinct and stabbed the demon, her hands shaking.
"What the fuck?!" Jace turned on her, his gold eyes flashing.
"He didn't have anything useful to say. Valentine has been dead for over a decade and half." her voice was shaking.
"Valentine killed my father, Clarissa!" Jace shouted. She rolled her eyes. He rarely called her by her full name, and supposedly she was in deep shit when they got back to the Institute.
Like that bothered her any. She was always in trouble with either Jace or Alec, though Alec was more worried about her being to reckless, and Jace usually shot daggers at her when she killed his prey.
"And we'll find him. But not by word of a Demon trying to save his skin." her voice sounded cold, but she knew underneath it was shaking. She turned away from the group. "I'll see you guys at home."
She vanished into the bathroom, quickly drawing a deglammer with her Steele. She stepped out and glanced over to where her team still was. They all looked worried about something, probably her, and Izzy started to walk over to her before Clary shook her head.
She wanted to be a kid. She needed to be a normal, Mundane, kid, at least for the remainder of the night. In the morning, she could go back to being Shadowhunter Clary Lightwood. Right now, she was just Clary.
A.N:
I don't own TMI or TDA or TID or TLH or any of these characters. Except for Scarlett who may or may not appear in this story. She's what, 12?