Itsuki

All around…screaming from the abyss… choking in the thick veil of darkness…"Mutsuki! Mutsuki! Where are you?!" I call out to him in desperation, searching the empty shadows for him. I look down, my hands were holding his neck. His beautiful eyes staring into mine, his pulse racing beneath my fingers as I clenched down harder. Every inch of me wanted to let go, but I was frozen. Terrified. I see his life leave him, his eyes fade. The blinded carry him away from me and throw his corpse into the void. I scream. "Don't leave me! Don't leave me!" I chase after him and fall into the shattering depths…The piercing shrieks of the damned filling my mind as I fall towards them. They outstretch their arms, ready to immerse me into their world …

"Itsuki! Itsuki wake up!" I opened my eyes to find myself drenched in my own sweat, screaming in Sae's face. All colour had left her cheeks and were drenched with her own tears. I tried to catch my breath before I spoke to her. There was no use pretending to her I just had a bad dream, this was a nightmare I fell into every time I closed my eyes.

"Please Sae…" I whispered, but she shook her head as she tidied my already tidy room. She turned away from me, she rubbed her forehead with one hand and the other on her tiny waist.

"It's too late now, don't do this to me." Sae was close to tears, I could hear it in her voice.

"Don't make Yae go through this. She doesn't deserve…"

"I know, Itsuki, I already..."

"You don't! This is going to destroy Yae!"

"I KNOW!" Sae yelled, involuntarily throwing the book in her hand at me as she turned towards me. "I know! You don't need to tell me what I already know!! But what choice do I have?! This is what I'm meant for!" Sae tried to go on but couldn't conjure up words to describe how she felt. She was physically shaking but she had shed all the tears she could. After an eternity of silence, she sat down on the edge of my bed and stared into her cupped hands.

"I'm sorry Itsuki, I didn't mean to shout at you."

"You do have a choice Sae…Don't stay, leave now…" I sat up in bed and put my hand on her cheek to turn her face towards mine. " I am begging you, don't put Yae through this." As soon as I had finished, she snatched my hand away from her face and stormed out the door without saying another word.

"Please run away Sae…Take Yae and run…."

Yae

"Sae? What's wrong?" I sat bathing my feet in the stream running over the cracked rocks as a tearful Sae walked towards me.

"Nothing." She sniffed as she took off her sandals and bathed her feet next to me.

"Nothing?" I sneered. "Come on Sae, you're me! I know when something's wrong, apart from…" My heart sank as I remembered what was happening in a weeks time…

"Well, it's not that… though it sort of is… It's Itsuki I mean…He won't eat, he doesn't sleep, and when he does he wakes up minutes later screaming. I catch him talking to himself. He's… there is something really wrong…"

I swallowed. These thoughts had passed my mind before, but I would never discuss them with Sae. We never talked about what would happen to me after the ritual.

"Will you be ok Yae? Please tell me you will be ok? You wouldn't have really lost me, I'll be closer to you than ever before!" Sae looked at me with a false desperate smile and gripped my hand. "I wouldn't have even left you."

I said nothing back. There was nothing to say. The thought of killing anyone, let alone Sae… it turned my stomach. I didn't think I had the strength in me. The village were getting desperate, we're not even of age yet… But they have no choice. They used young sacrifices before, the Kiryu twins were only 6 years old when they went through with it. The earth was becoming dryer, the days shorter, the crops and livestock dying, thick cloud descended on the village. People were on edge. The time was near. There was no hope in my mind for Sae, until a crazy thought passed through my mind.

"We don't have to do this at all…" I said slowly. Sae's eyes widened as I spoke.

"What are you talking about?"

"We don't have to do this at all Sae, we can run away, leave this village!"

"Yae! What about our father! What about everyone! Everyone will die if I don't die!"

"…I can't do it Sae."

I could almost feel Sae's heart falling with disappointment just by looking into her brown eyes.

"Please." I tried to persuade her. "Let us run away together, we can forget about this place. These people are cowards! They only want you to die so they can live out their petty lives! They have done nothing for us!"

She didn't look at me.

"They have raised us without any pain or suffering. We have had comfortable lives that many would envy." Sae's eyes welled with tears again. She got up and put her shoes back on. "We were born to do this, don't you want to..?"

"Sae…Please. Just… think about it! We might not have to do anything at all if Makabe becomes a Kusabi."

Sae stared at me with disgust.

"I am not letting him die so I can live. He wants to live and I don't! We are supposed to be one!" Sae was furious, her heart was breaking but she didn't understand that killing her would break mine. I love her too much. "Why are you rejecting me!? I'm helping him escape tonight."

Sae said no more. With a turn and a flick of her white kimono, she was out of my sight.

Sae

All I have ever done is try to help people, give them what they want, but it always makes matters so much worse. Yae refuses to kill me; she doesn't want us to be united. So if I do what she wants, everyone dies. If I force Yae to do something she doesn't want to, she will end up like Itsuki… I just want to be with Yae forever... if that means putting my own feelings aside for her sake...

"No…" I said out loud to myself. "No. Yae cannot become like Itsuki…I can't put her through that."

We will have to escape, tonight. I hope this makes you happy Yae, I really do.

Yae

"Keep running that way and don't look back, don't you dare look back. I'll stay here and make sure no one comes after you." Itsuki had sneaked out of his storehouse to help us. We were at the edge of the forest, and we could see the path that would lead us to freedom. He held both of our hands, taking his last glance at us, his eyes filling with tears. I tried to say something but my mouth had gone dry. His face broke into a smile.

"Run." He pushed us both away.

"Let's go, Sae. Come on!" I grasped her wrist and dragged her after me. I let my mind fall blank; we are leaving that old life behind. It has nothing to do with Sae and me. We are going to be together forever and I won't have to kill her. Ever. I felt elated, the whole world had been lifted from my shoulders.

"Yae.. I can't..."

"Sae, please come on!" I felt her stumbling behind me, and then the most terrible scream filled the forest. Her hand fell out of mine. I heard her fall awkwardly onto the forest floor.

I don't know what happened, I panicked. If I stayed, I would have to kill her. I didn't look back. I didn't even hesitate. I kept running.

"Sae I am so sorry..."

Sae

"YAE!!! Yae!!! Don't leave me!" I screamed over and over but Yae didn't even turn, she kept running. I couldn't get up, my ankle twisted at an odd angle. I couldn't believe what was happening. My life was falling apart around me. The person I loved the most betrayed me.

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" I screeched at the top of my voice, but I lost my breath when someone grabbed my waist. It was Itsuki.

"She's gone Sae…" He said, tears thick in his throat. He was kneeling behind me, stopping me standing on my twisted ankle.

"Yae!!! Don't leave me! Yae!!! Please! I'M SORRY!" I called and called but Yae was out of sight, and villagers were getting close. Itsuki released me as he saw the shadowy figures and torches get closer.

"I'm sorry…" Itsuki kissed me on one cheek and left me on the ground as he sped off back to his storeroom. As I watched his silhouette fade into the night, a pearly white one walked closer and closer towards me. My father.

He looked down at me, the pathetic mess on the ground. He spoke slowly and his voice shook with surpressed rage.

"Where is Yae?"

"She's gone." I sniffed and looked down at my ruined kimono, white silk smeared with brown mud.

"Gone?"

"She left me, she ran away."

*

I don't know how many days I have been locked away. No one spoke to me, no one even looked at me. I hoped Makabe managed to escape but I had a sinking feeling that he hadn't.

The priest, for the first time since Yae abandoned me, opened the door.

"It's time." He wouldn't meet my tear stained eyes. I got up off the floor and wiped my cheeks with the sleeve of my kimono.

"Did you kill Makabe?" I sniffed. A moment silence passed until he nodded his head stiffly. More tears passed down my face, I had failed him. No wonder Yae wanted to desert a failure like me.

"I want to see Itsuki."

"Thats not going to be.."

"If you want me to come quietly and do what you want, you are going to let me see him."

He finally looked at me straight in the eye, and he saw I was serious.

"I will kick and scream my way to Hell if you don't let me see him."

More silence and awkward stares passed, until he nodded his head again. I ran my fingers through my hair, took a deep breath and nodded with satisfaction.

"Ok, let's do this."

Two priests walked side by side with me to Itsuki's storehouse, not even holding on to my sleeve. I could have run away and they wouldn't have been able to catch me, but what was the point? I had to complete what Yae wouldn't. At least I could just see Itsuki, one last time.

We reached the white doors to the storehouse. I turned to face the priests.

"5 minutes." I gave them a look of acceptance and gratitude. I pulled both doors wide open and what I saw in there made me scream with indescribable horror.

Itsuki was hanging from the ceiling.

"ITSUKI!" I ran in, pulling the cage door almost off the hinge. "ITSUKI! PLEASE NO!" I pulled the noose from over his head by standing on the desk, and his body hit the floor with a sickening thud. I jumped down and cradled him in my arms. I rocked his cold lifeless body to my chest, and I realized I had nothing left to live for. Everyone I cared about had left me. His neck was bruised and his eyes were red with blood. I was looking at my future and I was terrified.

"Itsuki..."