It was like walking back into a memory of happier days when Aragorn returned to Rivendell; though the trees seemed aged, if nothing more. In his palm, he held one of the dearest things to him, the Evenstar; a gift of love. His attire was far lesser than it had been when last he trod these childhood paths, but here he would no longer call them childhood for this was the true test.
The Lady Arwen Undomiel watched him approach. Grief and despair filled her heart as she watched him. She did not want him to leave her! But...he must, if he was to fulfill his destiny so that in the end, she could finally be with him...to become his wife. A soft breeze blew through the trees of Imladris, sending a myriad of sunset colored leaves to twirl and float about her. It stirred her unbound, raven-dark locks and the sleeves of her amethyst gown, and a ray of bright sunshine fell upon her.
Step after step, he felt his heart grow heavier. The sorrow in his heart was greater than it had ever been. To hurt the ones you love to save them is one of the greatest gifts you could give... his mind reasoned over and over why he would cast such a shadow over his heart, and would soon cast the same one over the one person dearest to him in the world. Even as he drew closer, his gaze could not lift above her feet.
He now stood upon the stone steps below her, but he would not meet her gaze. Gently, Arwen reached out and brushed her fingers against his cheek. "Estel?" she asked softly.
Slowly, his empty hand rose from his side and rested on her hand. As if composing himself, he took a deep breath, then looked right into her eyes. "Arwen," already she could hear the despair that had flooded him.
She searched his clouded eyes, wishing she could somehow comfort him. Arwen stroked his cheek again, and then stepped down a step so she could stand before him. "Tell me," she whispered.
Slowly, he opened his hand. The glistening star emerged from his dirtied palm.
Arwen gazed down, then looked back up into his crystalline gaze...knowing what he meant...but could not believe it.
"It was a dream, Arwen...." Arwen's heart cried out in pain as he uttered those words. 'Was a dream,' said he? It is a dream! Why was he saying this to her?
"Take the ship," he suddenly gazed into her eyes; finding that a new strength had ignited within him. Though it was a strange strength indeed.
She felt him come closer to her; and in his eyes kindled a flickering light...a light she had never seen before.
"You must sail away with your people, there is nothing left here for you." Inside, suddenly, his heart sank. You cannot suffer the fate of loneliness... It is not for you....
Finally she thought she had found the strength inside her to speak out what she felt in her heart, but all she asked him was, "Why are you saying this?" Her deep voice sounded calm, but Aragorn had known her for many a long years, and he saw the fright in her fathomless blue eyes as he looked upon her.
A sigh escaped his lips. It was clear that the years of wear wore on him like the many tears in his cloak. "I'm mortal. You are elfkind. It was a dream Arwen, nothing more."
"Nothing more?" she asked, hurt and perhaps...anger?...reflected in her voice. Though it was only a whisper, it seemed to echo off the stonewalls of the courtyard they stood in. "Nothing more?" she asked again. "I gave myself to you, Aragorn. I gave you my soul, the very breath of by being...my love. And you say that it is only a dream? And nothing more?"
For a moment, he closed his eyes, as if gathering his thoughts. "Your people are leaving these shores..." His eyes slowly opened. "And when they pass... There will be no place for you here."
"My place is with you. To stand beside you. To become your wife when the Shadow has fallen. You promised me long ago, in fair Lorien upon Cerin Amroth, that you would do everything in your power to make this dream come true." Even as she spoke, one hand slid to her other, to caress the Ring of Barahir, which he had given her long ago. "And I," she murmured, looking up into his eyes, "had promised the same to you."
"That was long ago..." Though his words still stung like an evil poison, his voice had lost much of the heart it had held. "And I have lived long beyond your care, and beyond your kin. And now I see..."
Her eyes darted away from his, no longer able to stand the look in his eyes. "See what?" Her voice was husky, as if she dared not to utter any word above a whisper.
"That even if you stay here..." he looked down at the jewel he held in his hand. "You will yet face...." The foresight that was a gift to his blood haunted him.
"Death," she said. When she turned back to look at him, her eyes had a haunted but determined look in them. Arwen lifted her chin higher. "Yet that is my choice."
"But one you should not have to face." It was obvious that he had been thinking. Thoughts haunted him. More, the world beyond the peaceful boarders of the realms of the elves haunted him.
"But I choose to face it."
Again, he dared to glance into her eyes. "You do not know loneliness."
"I do not know loneliness? How can you, of all people, say this to me? You must know that whenever you are away, so is a piece of my very soul." She caught his eyes and held them with her own. "And if that is not loneliness, then what is?"
Almost ashamed for a moment, he looked down, sighing. The silence that hung between them was deafening. His fingers began to close slightly, but did not encompass, the whole Evenstar.
"I thought you had felt the same way," she whispered.
"Arwen, I..." the words he would have said were suddenly drowned out by thoughts of regret and sorrow. Again, his fingers unfolded.
She looked away from his sorrowful gaze, down to where his hand was reaching towards her...but not to take her own. She saw the glittering star in his palm, then she looked back up into his eyes.
"The time of your people is over. Soon they will be gone...and you will be alone." His words were cold and chilled him to the bone.
"Not alone..." she whispered.
"The shadow is coming," his words fell into a bleak tone. "And if I too am taken by it, then where are you to go?"
Her eyes flashed. "But you can defeat the Shadow. It does not hold sway yet, Aragorn. Not over you," she said very softly. "And not over me."
"But 'yet' could end tomorrow," he was extremely brief, though true. In his heart, he wished that he did not have to give her such pain. But to hurt someone you love to save them was, at times, the only thing you could do to show them you love them enough to let them go.
Arwen was now trembling; absolute grief had taken over her soul. "Why, Estel?" she whispered brokenly. "Why have you given up hope...in you? In us?"
At these questions, he too began to tremble, though ever so slightly. "I have only seen what could happen."
"You say 'could.' There is still hope."
"But I cannot risk your fate for such a chance," a nurturing frustration flooded his voice. He longed above all else to be with her after the flight of the shadow, though he knew in his heart that it was possible that he could die and be only left amongst the dead of Middle Earth by the end of the war.
Arwen's eyes darted away from his; they were as wide and glazed as a frightened doe's. She knew in her heart that Aragorn could possibly die while traveling with the Fellowship. She had always known that he could fall into Darkness...to a place where she could not follow. She heard the nurturing desperation for her to understand in his deep voice, but she could not accept this. She would not. She took a deep breath and said softly, "Estel...you are my faith in one truth. You have always been my reason for living...for staying. If indeed the Shadow does take you, I will join you. I will have it no other way, Aragorn."
The words brought light to his heart, though more sorrow. "You cannot-" his voice echoing of desperation, though before he finished he stopped himself. "I would rather die than see you fall to my own darkness."
"I have already bound myself to your own fate." She stepped closer to him.
He wanted to reach out to her. To touch her elegant cheek. To caress her immaculate skin. But no. He could not. "And if I die? Than what would you do?" A sudden fierceness tipped his last words, though they had not been intended for her, but rather for himself. Why was he letting her go? The only love he had ever known and the only one he would ever have?
"My fate cannot be yours. If you love me, Arwen, you would live on."
"You know I love you! How can you say this to me, Aragorn?" she cried. His words stung her, burned through her heart. "But my love is so deep for you that I cannot bear living without you! Why can't you see this, like you did before? Now you are imprisoned, shut away from me. Can I not reopen your heart?" she asked, her blue eyes bore up into his.
Like the frozen winter, he looked back at her, though there wasn't any light glistening in his eyes. Rather there were the scars of war, of blood, and of sorrow. "I still see, though... I have also seen the truth."
"Truth?" Her voice hardened. The deep blue pools of her eyes froze over and became as wintry as his. "Perhaps it is the truth that I will die, but that is only if you will."
"I am mortal, Arwen, of course I will!" his words were not like him. Something had changed.
She gazed at him, longing to touch him, but held herself back. "But not yet. The light of hope for which you are named has vanished from your eyes. Bring back that light. You once told me you would not accept your fate of dying so easily. That we would live together as husband and wife before you would die, and then I with you."
"I was wrong." There was no comfort to be found in his expression, in his voice.
And with those emotionless words, she looked away and turned from him. Despair filled her soul. The Aragorn she thought she had once known was gone. It took all her will to keep standing, and not fall to the stone floor and weep.
The others of the Fellowship collected themselves behind Aragorn's shoulder. They were readying themselves for a journey that he would see through to the end, though to what end, he did not know.
Immediately after her gaze left him, he looked to the Evenstar that he clutched in his hand. How could he be doing this? How could he give her so much pain? He would die for her. He would give everything up to be with her and he knew it. Though he could not look into her eyes, he looked long into the glistening light of the pendant. What had it held for him? What did this love mean to him? The answer was there before he even needed to think. He loved her. He loved her more than any lands, any peoples of Middle-Earth. "Arwen..." a gentle, soothing tone returned to him without warning.
She let out a breath, which was more like a sob, but she didn't turn.
"I don't want to lose you," like the fresh wind from the peaks of the wintery mountains, he seemed refreshed and anew. "I cannot bear to think of such a fate."
Slowly, he approached her once more, the Evenstar now safely within his palm and his fingers closed about it. "I only wish you would not have to suffer the fate that you say you will give yourself to, and I would not have you wait for me, only to have me not return." Though he wanted to reach out to her, he knew that he had hurt her, that he had to wait...he had to be forgiven.
Slowly, she turned to him. She didn't say anything, but her eyes told him much. As he searched her gaze he saw many emotions. Hurt. Anger. Sadness. They all mixed in and swirled together. But even as he thought he could not stand her intense gaze any longer, he saw a different emotion begin to kindle within her blue depths. It shone out, dominating every other emotion. And that one emotion was love. Love for him.
"Undomiel, ninnuva mel le uian," he gazed into her eyes and hesitantly reached out to her, caressing her smooth cheek. "Uelye i andoo luume lond im mel an le." {translation: Undomiel, I will love you forever. Not even the gates of time could hold back my love for you.}
Arwen gazed into his eyes, seeking truth in his words. She blinked slowly, and a tear trailed down her white cheek, glinting like a diamond.
As if all his self was reaching out to her, he brushed away the tear. The true burn of his words hit him. The one person he never wished to hurt had been cut so deeply by his words.
Again, she let out a soft sob, another tear trailing down her cheek. Without looking away from him, she reached up and cupped his cheek with her hand, then let it fall to his neck where she wound her other arm around him, holding him close.
"I don't know how to explain..." he looked into her flowing locks of hair. The words seemed to flutter into the sunset and disappear.
Arwen didn't answer right away. She buried her face into his chest, the tears now flowing freely. He could feel her tremble.
With every tear, he swore that this would never happen again. Never again, as long as he lived, would she despair. He owed her everything, yet he gave her nothing in return. "I cannot think of asking for your forgiveness...." He feared that he had pushed her away. Away from him, away from their love.
She gently pulled away from him to look up into his eyes. Arwen pressed her hand to the back of his neck and he lowered his head. Gently she pressed his ear to her heart. "With every beat of my heart, my love, with every breath in which I take, they are always for you. I am always yours. You have my heart, and my soul. Forever," she whispered.
Tranquil peace washed over him. His eyes slowly blurred with tears. This was forgiveness. This was more than forgiveness. Through this, he knew that not even the rising Shadow of darkness could shade their love. Slowly, his head rose, his eyes meeting hers, his hand grasping her hand. Forever intertwined. "And I live for you. And never again will I fear the darkness, for you still breathe."
Arwen gazed up at him, longing and desperation filled her...she needed to be reassured....she needed to feel his embrace. "Estel," she whispered, her hand tightening in his.
Tenderly, his hand pulled her closer, allowing his head to rest on her shoulder. "Forgive me...my love, I have despaired, though I knew our love would outlast the stars."
She laid her head against his and gently kissed his forehead. "We have every reason to get through, Aragorn," she breathed into his ear. Her free arm wound itself around his back. "We have every reason," she repeated softly. She then brought her hand up to the back of his head where her fingers intertwined in his hair.
The cold drip of a single tear fell to her shoulder. "You're right..." he lifted his head, the trail of the tear still glimmering in the sunlight. "We have every reason..."
Arwen smiled softly and almost hesitatingly used her thumb to wipe away the tear trail. Her hand lingered on his cheek, and her eyes searched his, memorizing every detail, and she decided that he never looked more beautiful than in this moment.
His warm hand reached up, placing itself on top of hers. Tenderly, he turned his head, kissing her hand. "I never need to fear, never need to despair, never again, as long as you live. And that gift I wish to return, for you have given me hope to carry on, through this shadow, and into new light, where, we can be together...forever."
Arwen closed her eyes briefly at his words. She could not ask for a greater gift than this. This was the Aragorn she knew. And she loved him. She loved him more than life itself. When her eyes reopened, she found that he was gazing at her with glistening stars, wanting of forgiveness. She pressed her hand more into his, her eyes telling him all he needed to know.
Carefully, he leaned forward, pressing his lips against hers, locking his eyes closed, feeling the very essence of his existence swirl about him. This was all he needed.
Tears trailed down both their faces and mingled as one as Arwen held him tighter, her arms locking through his, her fingers stroking his hair; trying to burn this moment into her memory forever. She could feel his heart beat with her own, and they, like their tears, were one...always. Through the wind and the rain, through the smoke and the fire, she would stand by his side, supporting him and loving him throughout all the perils he would face.
It seemed that he was no longer standing on the ground in Rivendell, but rather amongst the heavens, for with her, he felt mightier than any king, yet more blessed than any creature before him. Each star glistened like the eternal light he saw in her, the one that guided him through sleepless nights, through the blood of battle, through everything the world could give him. Though his path was shadowed, she lit the way with light that warmed him and gave him strength to reach the glistening tower at the end. To become what he was destined to become. And then together they would be forever. Even in death, does love live on. And it lasted like the stars; eternal.
Finis
This story was written by Navana and Silraen, and it was based upon the Evenstar scene written by Peter Jackson in The Two Towers.
4~5~03