A/N: I can't write to save my life,so bare with me
this is a result of a dare,it was written in 2 hours while I was heavily intoxicated my friend who dared me actually likes it which I find odd and want's it to continue as it hints on a Katie/Effy pairing which she loves,I have written more then this and have a few ideas,but I doubt I will continue as I said I can't write to save my life.
Well if you're brave enough to read beyond this point good luck and enjoy
sorry for any mistakes
WRITTEN FROM KATIE'S POV
It's been a week since the love ball,a night which I may never forget,it's when my world completely Effy and a fucking rock,then Emily who would have thought she would grow a pair 'which I'm proud of but just don't tell her' and Naomi I totally misjudged the lezza,that night was my undoing and it was all my fault.
Like I said it's been a week since then,I haven't spoken to Emily,to be honest I rarely see her she's been avoiding home these days,I don't blame her,mum's a complete nutter she's still fucking living in denial thinking Emily's just going to wake up to herself 'Highly Unlikely' she can't even say her name without flinching,Dad on the other hand,has taken to the news kindly accepting that his little girl likes the girls,he even took them out for lunch,he thinks Naomi's nice enough for his baby 'I agree to an extent I guess' ,James god the pervy little tosser was more than happy with the fact that she liked the "muff" as he bluntly put it,I bet it gave him some more material to wank off too,god I hate him.
I rarely move from my room during the day,I try to avoid everyone and everything,I go out and get completely fucked up every night it's not the usual club,I want to avoid running into someone I know so I don't have to deal with it all ;my family,Emily,Naomi,Effy the others and all of the snickers I get tossed my way,the whole twin thing if she's a lezza what does that make you my response is 'fuck off you tosser' I sometimes flip them the finger,but it does play on my mind a lot night is always the same,I get fucked up,dance and make out with complete strangers sometimes more if I'm totaled enough but I'm no slut,then I'll go home sleep most of the day,sometimes Emily's there but mostly I'm alone my life has come to this and it's all my fault.
Another week passes,I've managed to talk to Emily a few time's,trying to mend some kind of relationship with her,I told her I've accepted that she's gay,but I'm not sure I totally believe it myself,I promised to have lunch with them sometime next week I just hope I can keep that promise.
I went out as I always do,but tonight was different,I was having a good time not as wasted as I normally get,dancing with some nameless guy,when it happens,I see her Effy Fuckin' Stonem sitting across the way alone just staring at me like she always fucking does like she can see right through body starts to shake uncontrollably,my palms get sweaty,my blood begins to boil.I tear myself away from the guy I'm dancing with,there is so much going through my head,part of me wants to go over there and slap her give her a piece of my mind,the other part of me wants to flee just run.I feel myself walking in her direction like I have no control over my body,she just stares at me a little vigorous as I approach,I just stand there in front of her staring back at her silent with a blank expression 'she looks just as bad as I feel like shit,still the same old looking Effy she just looks a lot more worn out and less worried about her appearance well since when did she care about that really' my body goes numb I can't do or say anything its like that for a good 10 minutes before I feel myself flee,I get a short distance from her and the club before I start to vomit,it takes me a good hour to get home Emily wasn't there.I can't sleep my mind won't let me it keeps replaying the events from that night in the woods over and over, I know it's not her fault I started it and whatever but I wasn't going to let her win.
I woke up around one,I was alittle surprised to see Emily across the room,she needed some clean clothes apparently,she hardly sleeps here anymore,we exchange a few words and a smile before I finally dragged myself to the bathroom,she was gone by the time I came back, I miss her I wish I could talk to her about it all but I can't I don't think it will ever be right between us again but I only have myself to blame.I go downstairs,the house is empty seems to be a lot lately, I make a quick sandwhich before heading back up to my room.
I arrive at the club alittle earlier then usual, I can't believe it she's there in the same fucking spot alone drinking, I try to ignore her but she just keeps on staring her blue eyes piercing through me,again I find myself standing in front of her gradually progresses, I would take a seat next to her still there are no words exchanged,it went on for a few nights,before she spoke it wasn't to apologise or anything meaningful it was simply "want to go outside for a smoke" before getting to her feet,my first thought was 'what the fuck' but I was to stunned to say anything so I stood against the wall silent glancing over at each other now and then,for the first time I felt nothing no anger or resentment towards her my mind was at peace for once,before I knew it my voice spoke a little croaky "I'm sorry" I couldn't understand why that of all things came out,she just stares at me for what seemed like minutes ,smirks that famous smirk then says " I know,me too" flicks her cigarette and walks off into the night.